


Hyper Focus

by Sonnenplume



Series: College Bugs [1]
Category: Hollow Knight (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Cuddling, Eventual Romance, F/F, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Outing, Pining, Romance, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, There Will Be Heartbreak, attempted alcohol abuse, mature rating for use of alcohol, there will be kissing and handholding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2020-11-24 12:27:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 48
Words: 83,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20907650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonnenplume/pseuds/Sonnenplume
Summary: Quirrel, a closeted gay bug crushing on his roomieTiso, a struggling student now distracted by his crush on the sports queen of the campusTamer, not exactly keen to be a significant part of any man's lifeAnd everyone failing to just talk it out...and they were roommates





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Heya, I'd love any form of feedback on this, especially ideas! I have a vague idea where I want to go with the story but could use more headcanons and small prompts to pad things out with. This is a rarepair, and I hope the few out there will appreciate this ^0^
> 
> Have fun reading!!

The room was mostly quiet except for the clicking of the keys on Quirrel’s laptop and the occasional silent turning of a page from the desk where Tiso sat. Sometimes he tapped his pen against the page of notes he was taking, sometimes he’d bite it, sometimes he’d let out a slightly frustrated huff. Chemistry had never been his strong suit. Actually, a lot of things weren’t his strong suit. But he was very much aware where his biggest strengths lay – and studying was not it.  
With a noise of annoyance he tossed his pen on the book and turned around to his roommate.  
“Is the hour over yet?” It was more of a groan than a question. Quirrel didn’t answer at first, probably because he was mid sentence. When he stopped typing he glanced at the clock on his computer.  
“Really? It’s been 20 minutes,” he replied and immediately got a louder groan from Tiso in response.  
“Don’t gimme that. It was your idea. Didn’t you brag about how you could bring up your grades no problem if you’d focus on studying more? One hour is nothing.”  
“It wasn’t just bragging!” Tiso almost sounded defensive “I mean it! Just watch.”  
“Uh-huh…”

It would go like this after almost every exam. Tiso would get a much worse grade than he’d anticipated, he would be determined to work on it for about 4 days and then get distracted again by some online game or one of the many sports clubs he had joined. He tended to hyperfocus – just sadly on the wrong things.  
So when he turned back around from his notes and said: “Hey, Quirrel, I’ve been thinking lately…” Quirrel’s eyeroll was almost audible, although it did come with a smile. It was an endearing trait in a way, but he’d never let him know that.  
“How would you approach a girl you liked?”  
This time Quirrel stopped typing immediately, leaving the scientific term for an old-fashioned arch above a door disgustingly unfinished.  
“What do you mean?” Wasn’t it obvious?  
“Isn’t it obvious?”  
Tiso turned his chair fully towards Quirrel and he too turned to have a better look at the other.  
“You got your eyes on someone?” Quirrel asked and Tiso nodded with a cocky, toothy grin.  
Usually Quirrel liked it when he looked like that at him. It was an indicator that he was about to say or do something absolutely unquestionably dumb. Like back when he had said he could down the entire bottle of hard liquor he had smuggled into the dorm in one go. Which he couldn’t; after one swig he had realized he did not like the taste and almost choked on it and the two had spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning and trying to get the smell of alcohol out of their room before getting ready for bed.  
Annoying, but still a rather fond memory.  
But right now the grin made Quirrel’s stomach turn.  
“Who?” he asked plainly, rather successful at having it sound casual but still mildly interested.  
Tiso scooted closer with his chair.  
“You know Tamer? The tall one? She’s a year ahead of us and-“  
Did he know Tamer? Everyone knew Tamer. She really stood out in her field, not only in height. She was by far the sportiest person on the whole campus. Quirrel didn’t know how well she was actually doing in studies, but her name was always a significant part of any sports event the college hosted – she was in about every sports club he could think of, as long as there were enough girls to form one. If it weren’t for the strict gender separation rule in sports she’d probably have no issues joining a boys team either. At least not skill wise. And she hung out more with dudes anyway from what he had observed. Of course someone like Tiso would find her attractive. Quirrel really shouldn’t be so shocked. So when he blinked his eyes back into focus from zoning out he felt a little guilty to see Tiso’s grin having grown a bit lopsided and his head tilted.  
“I know, I know, you don’t get it. She’s a bitch, and arrogant and way too full of herself, how could anyone crush on someone like that?”  
Yeah. Good point actually. Quirrel huffed out a short laugh, “Yeah, seriously…”  
“You’re no help…” Tiso mumbled and slouched more into his chair, “I really don’t know how to deal with this, dude, here I am, asking for advice and you’re not helping at all. Did you even listen?”  
“Sure!” Did he though? It did seem like he had missed a good chunk of Tiso’s rambling. If not all of it.  
“You think I should tell her?”  
Quirrel just shrugged. This was a problem outside of his world. He never had to worry about approaching a girl he liked.  
“Sure, do what you want,” he said with another shrug as the knot in his stomach drew a little tighter and Tiso gave a grinning nod.  
“Can we get back to studying now?”  
“Ughh, fine, you’re impossible to talk to,” Tiso grumbled and noisily scooted his chair back to the desk.  
However, he actually was very quiet and focused for the remaining time of the hour.  
Quirrel on the other hand did not get much more writing done that afternoon.


	2. Chemistry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso approaches Tamer and it goes alright.

Tiso ate rather frequently at the cafeteria. The food was alright but more importantly cheap as hell. Also it was more or less freshly cooked which wasn’t all that possible to do yourself at the dorms. Sure, Tiso and Quirrel had a microwave in their room and a small electric kettle, but those were reserved for longer studying nights.  
And gaming nights.  
And movie nights.  
And Quirrel.  
That guy ate an unhealthy amount of instant soups and noodles, Tiso was sure. But he wouldn’t criticize him for it. That guy was either in class or at the library, often skipping going to the cafeteria for multiple days in a row. Sometimes he wouldn’t even realize that he was hungry until Tiso would remind him that he in fact had to eat. It was usually already around bed time then.  
They would still go to the cafeteria together at least once a week, when they both came out of chemistry, the only class they shared around lunchtime, just like today. Tiso would quickly have made up his mind about what from the daily menu to order, while Quirrel would go back and forth between multiple choices the entire time they stood in line and eventually just pick the same that Tiso took on a whim it seemed.  
As usual Tiso and Quirrel sat across from each other. While Tiso was already halfway done with his plate, he noticed Quirrel had hardly touched his food, too focused on his notes he brought with him it seemed.

“Dude, it’s not gonna get better once it’s cold,” he said and Quirrel lifted his head a little to look at him, slightly confused.  
“Oh, right…” He only ate a few bites before putting his fork back down and picking his pen back up.  
Tiso frowned at him for a moment until he noticed a few tables back behind his roomie was sitting Tamer with a gang of her peers. How long had she been sitting there?  
“Oh shit, Quirrel!” Tiso waved his fork at the other to catch his attention again.  
“What?”  
Tiso straightened in his seat, mostly to get a better view.  
“Tamer is here! She’s with friends but… maybe I should go talk to her?”  
Quirrel turned around in his seat to look, then shrugged.  
“Sure, you should give it a shot.” Quirrel didn’t sound too enthusiastic about it though, so Tiso shot him an unamused glare.  
“Come on man, a little more support here?”  
Quirrel just stared at him blankly before giving him a thumbs up.  
“You’re horrible,” Tiso said and pushed himself up from the table.  
“Good luck!” Quirrel told him as he passed.

Walking over to the table where Tamer sat felt like a god damn journey to the end of the world. Tiso was horribly aware of how he walked and straightened his spine more. It felt like an eternity later and still too soon when he reached them. The biggest problem now was that he had to strike up a conversation immediately because otherwise he would just be suddenly standing awkwardly at their table and Tamer already noticed him and was looking at him oh god.  
“Yo?” It was neither a greeting nor a real question. It was just a one syllable prompt for Tiso to respond to. The one shot he got to justify his presence.  
“Yo!” he just mimicked, already slapping himself internally. He should have thought more about what to say beforehand. “You’re Tamer, right?”  
“No,” Tamer said and her friends at the table snickered.  
Of course she was Tamer and Tiso was an idiot. The stupid response tripped him up enough to completely lose his concentration for a second. Tamer was just staring at him, her eyes a stark, awesome contrast against her pitch black skin, expression stern until she snorted out a laugh.  
“Yeah, I’m just messing. I’m Tamer. What’s up?”  
Tiso’s concentration snapped back to the situation and he smirked at her.  
She actually opened the conversation herself. He was a winner.

“I’m such a loser,” Tiso groaned as he and Quirrel swiped the leftovers and napkins from their plates into the waste bin.  
“What do you mean?” Quirrel asked “You seemed to have fun over there. Talking a lot. I saw you all laugh.”  
“We talked about sports! SPORTS, Quirrel!”  
“Common ground, that’s a good thing.”  
Tiso glared at the other. How could a dude know so impossibly little about flirting.  
Common ground was no help at all. Tiso needed to impress her if he wanted to get anywhere. But how would he manage that if Tamer was so impressive herself? He pulled his hood a little deeper as if in hiding, hunching his shoulders. This was going to be much harder than he thought it would be. He didn’t even ask for her number or anything.  
As they walked back to their room out of the corner of his eye Tiso caught Quirrel staring at him.  
“What?” he asked brashly and Quirrel snapped his eyes back in front immediately and shrugged.  
“Nothing,” he said as Tiso glared back at him.  
Of course it was nothing. Because a roomie judging you silently for your miserable failure with girls was so much fun.

Back at the dorm Quirrel unceremoniously dropped his bag at the usual spot and went to turn on his laptop. Tiso too set his school stuff down a little bit more carefully. Quirrel seemed angry somehow. He hadn’t talked the rest of the way and was usually more considerate with his stuff, too.  
It was more or less their ritual to have a quick gaming session with some competitive multiplayer game, but instead Quirrel mutely started to work on his homework immediately.  
“Are you pissed at me?” Tiso asked disgruntled. He couldn’t really see why. Sure, he had snapped at him before but that hasn’t been the first time he had done so. So in a way it felt unfair.  
“What? Oh, nah, just, homework,” Quirrel mumbled as his laptop booted up and he hacked away at the keys to log in. Tiso still stood more or less in the doorway while Quirrel took a seat to start working.  
With a shrug Tiso went over to his bed to sit on it and took out the book he’d need for his homework as well. If Quirrel was working, he might as well do the same. And get the daily hour of studying out of the way too. And with that he shrugged Quirrel’s odd behavior off.

Tiso had trouble focusing on the tasks however, his mind kept drifting back to Tamer again and again. He may not have gotten her number yet or anything, but they had a fun talk. She had cracked some amazing jokes and always flashed her teeth in her laugh, her eyes almost shining with each grin. Her sleek fingers pinching that corn chip, her bumping an elbow into Tiso’s side as she pointed over at Quirrel staring at them, asking if he was his buddy. Her legs going from crossed to a more relaxed –  
Tiso put the pen down he was just holding and not using to rub his face with one hand, trying his best to focus on the words in front of him. He hated chemistry.  
And seeing that he had only a vague idea of how to translate the words into formula was not exactly motivating.  
“Yo, Quirrel, can I see what you got for C?”  
When he didn’t get an immediate answer from his roommate he looked up. Quirrel, who always did his homework on his laptop because he hated his handwriting was sitting in front of an almost blank, virtual paper.  
“I’m not done yet,” he said blankly and got back to typing. Tiso cocked his head a little.  
“You okay?”  
“Yeah, yeah,” Quirrel said as he slowly but surely got into the flow of going between reading and typing.  
“Give me a minute. We can go over it together once I’m done if you want.”  
Tiso nodded what Quirrel was unable to see and picked his pen back up, but still keeping his eyes trained on the other until he was sure he was back to his usual, focused self.

Quirrel may have been a better student than him, but he was a terrible teacher. It took him multiple approaches until Tiso finally understood what the hell he was talking about.  
“So then this doesn’t change, because it already had a reaction with uhh..”  
Quirrel, sitting next to him stared at him expectantly.  
“This one here! No. This one.”  
Quirrel sighed with a smile. “See? You got it.”  
“Pff, of course I got it. You just had to explain it right,” Tiso said as he wrote down what Quirrel and him had just gone over, before just falling back on the bed in theatric exhaustion.  
“Y’know, If I knew more about chemistry I’d steal the shit I’d need to mix up and burn the entire classroom down,” he groaned and Quirrel let out a snicker.  
“Come on, one more exercise and you’re done,” Quirrel said and patted Tiso’s arm reassuringly.  
Tiso groaned, but got back up into a sitting position.  
Quirrel just watched him going through the last problem by himself, sometimes prompting him to think out loud more. Having Quirrel talk him through the subject did help a great deal to not get distracted by Tamer all the time. And when he actually solved the last bit all by himself without Quirrel having to stop him he actually felt like he had understood something.

“See?” Quirrel said proudly, as if it were his achievement, “I could google up some more practices for you-“  
Tiso immediately hit him with his notebook, not hard, but hard enough to make him flinch and shut up.  
“Don’t! You dare!”  
“Alright! Alright!” he laughed “Are you sure you don’t need it?”  
Tiso just frowned at him and without breaking eye contact flung his notebook vaguely into the direction of their trash bin, missing spectacularly and almost hitting it over.  
“Absolutely sure. I am done.”  
Quirrel outright laughed this time and sat back, putting more distance between them.  
“Alright, I got it. No more chemistry. Games?”  
“Fuck yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha lol get it they have  
chemistry  
together  
haha im the queen of jokes everybody clap


	3. Store

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quirrel and Tiso go to the store and Quirrel wishes he hadn't.

The gaming turned out to be another great distraction – Tiso didn’t even mention Tamer again for the rest of the day, even though Quirrel was sure he still had her on his mind. And why wouldn’t he?  
They would be great together, challenging each other in their sport related hobbies, something Quirrel really couldn’t get into himself. He had taken up fencing back when a sports club had been mandatory and it was alright, he wasn’t even half bad. But theoretical classes had always been more up his alley.   
The lights had been off for a good while already, but Quirrel was still awake. Tiso had taken longer than usual to fall into his typical rhythm of snoring, too.  
Normally Quirrel had no issues sleeping like that, even though it was close to being yelled at by someone’s nose during some nights. He’s just gotten used to it. And it was a lot easier for him to sleep if someone was already sleeping in the same room anyway.  
But right now it seemed impossible.

He rolled over absentmindedly playing with the ropey plush tendrils of Uhmuh, a little stuffed jellyfish he has had since elementary school and refused to toss out. When he had moved in with Tiso into the dorm of the college he first kept Uhmuh in his sock drawer to avoid stupid comments from him. But after a few days of having already moved past the first impression and all that shit he had taken him back out of the drawer and kept him on his bed openly. And Tiso didn’t even care. He didn’t even ask until some more days later. And then proceeded to tell him about his plush Tiktik he used to have and drag around everywhere. And how that was why he hadn’t laughed him out of the room when Quirrel had hung up the framed “Hang in there!” poster.  
The Tiktik in the picture reminded him of his old toy, Titti. The name he had given the toy was the main reason he didn’t have it anymore, he had said.  
“Because it’s kinda weird for a dude to have his Titti lying around in the open.  
They had had their first big laugh together back then and Quirrel fondly grinned into his pillow.

Quirrel couldn’t remember how much longer he had been awake, but when he finally woke up it was already bright outside and his face scrunched up due to the blinding.  
It took him a few more minutes to fully wake up and roll out of bed.  
Tiso was already gone for athletics since it was Saturday. Strange in a way that the weekends, when it was for his club activities, Tiso had no problem getting up early and every other day of the week, when it was mandatory for class, Quirrel would sometimes have to throw his backpack at him to get him out of bed.  
“Why not just let me sleep?” he used to grumble at him and Quirrel’s response would be: “Because I’m not an asshole. Now hurry it up, or we’re gonna be late.”

Quirrel moved to the sink to fill the electric kettle with water. He had a good amount of work left, and if he’d plow through all of it in the earlier hours he had more time doing other shit when Tiso was back. If he came back before night time that was.  
Quirrel knew that Tiso was his own person, and it was never an issue. When they were both home at the same time, they’d hang out. But they never would make specific plans, or tell each other when and where to they were leaving. They always were just kind of doing their own thing.  
But today Quirrel could not stop wondering what Tiso would be doing out there. Would he seek out Tamer and her gang again? Hang out with the other jocks? He cringed a little at that thought. He hated thinking in stereotypes but sometimes he couldn’t help it. And he always felt bad whenever he caught himself doing it.  
As he waited for the water to boil he set up his working space, checking what he had to do today and what was a realistic goal.   
Once he finished his first cup of coffee he took a quick shower and went to work.

He made good progress; forcing himself to work on school stuff very efficiently kept his mind from wandering and whenever he found his mug empty, he would just refill it with the cheap swig of instant coffee.  
It was around noon and Quirrel four pages deep into his second essay. He already was about to refill the thermos with coffee when Tiso came back.  
“Yo,” he greeted as he opened his sports bag to pull out his worn tricot to toss into the bucket for laundry they shared.  
“Hey!” Quirrel replied.  
“Imma shower real fast, then head to the store, need anything?”  
“One sec…”  
Store… Quirrel wrapped up the paragraph with a few more lines before he actually got to thinking. He didn’t need anything in particular. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t want to go to the store.  
“Can’t think of anything off the top of my head,” he said “But how about we just go together? I could use some air anyway.”  
Tiso gave Quirrel an okay sign and headed back out for that shower.

Quirrel had only grabbed a bag and a twenty before they headed out.  
Tiso had made a comment on how there was no rush and just shook his head at Quirrel explaining how he had lost track of how much coffee he had had. “You’re going to have your first heart attack before you turn 30,” he commented and Quirrel snorted at that.  
The day was greyish if dry, and the streets not too busy. It was only a 10 minute walk to the store and while they didn’t talk the first part of the way with Tiso only sometimes checking his phone he then spoke up: “You know, I’ve been thinking of maybe quitting athletics.”  
Quirrel blinked at that comment. That was a weird conversation starter.  
“Isn’t that your fav club? What gives?” Quirrel asked and Tiso just shrugged. “I dunno, I still have handball and soccer… And athletics is the only club thing I have on weekends. I could have the weekends off then. Just hang out more.”  
Hang out more. Quirrel liked that thought. He didn’t mind having the dorm to himself, but spending more time with Tiso was always welcome. But having him quit athletics for that? That was quite the trade.  
“Also uhh,” he continued “I found out that Tamer and her friends are hanging around the tennis field around that time. It’s kinda their weekly thing?”  
There it was. The actual reason.

“So I thought I could like, join them there, to get more time to talk to Tamer, yknow?”  
“Mmhmm, sounds great,” Quirrel said but failing to make it sound like that at all.  
Tiso huffed at him. “What, you don’t think so? What else am I gonna do? We’re not even in the same year! We have no classes together, no clubs she’s in I could join without a god damn sex change-”  
Quirrel couldn’t help but laugh at that. “What? Come on, dude, this isn’t funny! She’s only in sports clubs! If she was a member of, I dunno, the gardening club, I could join no problem!”  
Quirrel stopped laughing and just looked at Tiso.  
“Sorry man, but imagining you in gardening is even funnier,” he said.  
Tiso shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.   
“Quirrel, really. You’re pretty much my best friend in this hellhole, and you could really be helping more.”  
That stung. He was trying to help. He really was. It was just easier with anything school related. Chemistry and math and physics and all that. It was something you could easily learn just by repetition. But people were different. You could get completely different reactions from the same damn approach depending on whom you’d have in front of you. And relationship stuff was something Quirrel had learned to avoid early enough. He sighed.  
“Okay, I’m sorry. I know you’re serious. But think about it again. You’ve been in athletics since always. And it’s your favorite activity. You really think she’s worth ditching that?”  
Tiso looked Quirrel straight in the eye.  
“Absolutely,” he said, voice firm, and Quirrel would have loved to just turn around on the spot and walk back to the dorms, if not even further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now wasnt that nice c:


	4. Instant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two bros make noodles and it gets a bit too spicy.
> 
> ...not that kinda spicy.

“You really have no right to be so miffed about it,” Tiso said as Quirrel was piling instant noodles and bags of chips into his basket. Tiso scrunched up internally just looking at the packaging of the instant food, appropriately labeled “Toxic Noodles”. But he sure as hell wasn’t going to pretend to know what was best for him, if he was about to complain about him doing the same thing.  
“It’s really not any issue for you. Just because you think I might regret it later doesn’t mean you can bitch about my view on things.”  
“I’m not bitching,” Quirrel replied with a monotone voice “I’m just saying that you could think it over some more. I dunno how easy it is to hop in and out of clubs.”  
“Well, you’re acting like it’s a big deal for you,” he said, squinting at the other as he studied the packaging of a new flavor more closely “Which it clearly isn’t.”  
Quirrel grabbed two of the new ones and tossed them to the rest he was intending to buy. What looked like a month supply to most people would last this nerd probably a week.  
“Look. By all means, do what you want,” Quirrel said as they left the aisle and headed for the checkout “I’m just saying you should put thought into a decision like that. I totally get you wanna jump at that opportunity to hang out with her and such, I just wanna make sure that you’re not gonna regret it next week.”  
“So what, that’d be my problem, not yours.”  
Quirrel unceremoniously dumped the contents of his basket (exclusively chips and instantfood, one chocolate bar) onto the counter before turning back to Tiso.  
“Yeah, but I’d be the one to deal with your whining then,” he said with a small, possibly pained grin “I already have to deal with your complaining over class, I don’t wanna have to deal with you bitching about your hobbies as well.”  
Tiso puffed up a little.  
“I’m not bitching.”  
“We’re both bitching, let’s be real,” Quirrel said and turned to the young ladybug behind at the register to treat her like a person and pay for his “food”.

Tiso was a bit pissed at Quirrel for claiming that he was bitching, and just tapped around on his phone, texting various members of the athletics club if they knew how to drop out and how reentering might work if possible. Quirrel didn’t talk, just said “watch it” when they reached the only traffic lights on their way which happened to be red that moment. As if he wouldn’t have noticed that himself.

Back at the dorm they put away their haul, Quirrel stuffing the cabinet with his instant stuff and snacks while Tiso stashed away the deodorant and granola bars he had gotten. He left one out to eat immediately while Quirrel refilled the electric kettle with water. Probably to make some of his atrocious noodles.  
“Hey, we could also order some food, yknow?”  
“What?” Quirrel looked at him confused at first, but then laughed “Oh, sure, why not.”  
He then proceeded to put spoon after spoon of the instant coffee into the thermos.  
“Ah, I thought you were gonna make you some noodles,” Tiso commented when he saw that Quirrel was making more coffee instead.  
“Oh. Well I’m not. But hey, how about this then? Instead of ordering food you could try some of the instant noodles.” Tiso wrinkled his nose at that.  
“Come on, they’re really not that bad. Also a pizza is like 8 bucks? The noodles are like 50 cents. And I got a new kind today. Spicy beef or something.” He opened the cabinet and pulled out one of the packages to read the label. Apparently he had grabbed the right one and tossed it over to Tiso who looked at it with doubt.

“You know, that the label says spicy beef flavor and not just spicy beef is already suspicious. But putting all that in quotes? That’s a red flag.”  
Quirrel chuckled and poured the boiling water into the thermos, screwed the lid on and shook it a little. Tiso was absolutely convinced that if it weren’t for the at least weekly trips to the cafeteria and occasional cereal he ate Quirrel would straight up die from malnourishment.  
“They’re not half bad,” he said and poured himself a cup of coffee “But you don’t have to.”  
“Eh, whatever,” Tiso said and got up to refill the kettle “How much harm can be in one bowl of “Spicy Beef” Flavor.” He did air quotes with his free hand as he said it, earning another laugh from his roomie.  
“Feeling adventurous, I see,” he snickered but took out two bowls and another package of the noodles.  
“Always,” Tiso responded and looked at the back of the package that had the instructions on it.  
“You really just dump all of it in, huh?”  
Quirrel made a noise. “Wouldn’t really recommend it. Especially with Toxic Noodles. If they write spicy, they mean it. So I wouldn’t put all the seasoning in at once if I were you.”

Tiso already placed the block of dry noodles in his bowl and picked at the small package of seasoning.  
“Are you calling me weak, Quirrel?” he asked in an exaggerated serious tone “You think I cannot handle the “Spicy Beef”?”  
He shook all of the seasoning out over the block of noodles while Quirrel just watched.  
A grin crinkled his eyes. “You better gonna eat all of that or you owe me 50 cents.”

It wasn’t even spicy. It just burned. There was no flavor to it, it just burnt his tongue, his lips, his throat, it just tasted scratchy. And nothing like beef.  
“I feel ripped off. And betrayed,” he gasped.  
“Need some milk?” Quirrel asked with a snicker. He had it easy, he put maybe half of the seasoning in. Tops.  
“I’m good.” Tiso's voice was mostly a hiss but there was no way he’d be losing against a bowl of instant noodles.  
“You can’t say I didn’t warn you…” Quirrel had the audacity to grin at him. Smugly!!  
“I’m not even saying that!”  
Since the noodles were also hot, there was no way to eat them fast either. It was torture. But nothing he could not endure.

“Are you crying?” Quirrel asked when Tiso was almost done with the noodles. He swallowed what he had in his mouth at the moment to speak.  
“I’m sweating,” he pressed out “It’s only natural.” Quirrel made an exaggerated sound of affirmation.  
“Don’t forget to drink the brew, too.”  
“Are you kidding me?”  
“You brought this on yourself, dude. So you better. Or you pay up.”  
Tiso locked eyes with Quirrel for a moment and the sheer mirth shining in his expression was just horrifying.  
“And here I thought we were friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a drabble before jumping back into the angst heyoooooooo


	5. Insomnia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Due to some turn of events Quirrel has trouble falling asleep.

Ignoring a topic is easy, if it just doesn’t come up.  
But of course it was only going to last that long. Quirrel had been working away in comparably undisturbed silence while Tiso just lounged about on his bed, preoccupied with his phone. Quirrel was about to wrap up another paper that would be due next week when he spoke up.  
“Man, everyone is just telling me to talk to our coach. But really, he’s just gonna try to talk me into staying, I know it.”  
Quirrel hit the keys only slightly harder than necessary when he pushed the shortcut to safe the document.

“Still about that?” he asked and Tiso groaned, dramatically throwing his head back. “Yes, of course still about that. And I gotta wait through the entire week too. Quirrel, this is going to kill me!”  
“Then don’t go,” he said plainly, immediately feeling bad for it. He really should be more supportive, whether he liked it or not.  
“Are you kidding me? They practically invited me to hang out! Like hell am I gonna pass on that!”  
“Then don’t. Really, dude, what do you want me to say?”  
Tiso sat up properly to tap at his phone again.  
“I don’t know. You’re always so smart about things, what should I do?”  
Quirrel couldn’t help but smile at that a little. 

“Well, if I were you, and really were into her, I’d go,” he admitted “BUT I also wouldn’t drop out of my favorite club. Clubs aren’t mandatory, so I bet it’s gonna be a nonissue if you just skip it once.”  
Tiso’s face lit up. “See?? That’s why we’re friends! Quirrel, you’re a genius. Yes, I’m gonna do that.”  
Quirrel just shook his head with a small laugh. It was pretty much the easiest solution to the problem and the fact that Tiso hadn’t come up with it by himself was almost baffling.  
He watched as Tiso typed away on his phone and then stopped.  
“…but what do I do after that? What if hanging out with Tamer and the rest of the gang is the best thing ever?”  
What then indeed. Would he even be home at all anymore? They already didn’t have all that much in common and if he found new friends with Tamer’s group, what reason did he have to still spend time with him?

Quirrel shrugged. “You can still drop out after that. But if they all decide to recognize you as the insufferable dumbass you are, you can still fall back onto athletics.”  
“Ey!” Tiso grabbed and tossed his pillow at Quirrel who easily deflected it with his hand.  
“See? Absolutely horrible. I don’t know how I’m able to live with you.”  
“It takes a lot to be able to handle all of this,” Tiso said as he pointed to himself.  
While he was taller than Quirrel, he still wasn’t huge. Not extremely broad either. It was his confidence and posture that made him appear bigger when walking around campus. In the dorm however, slouching on the mattress and looking oddly deflated, his chin pressed to his chest so he could look at his roomie he looked everything but impressive and Quirrel snickered at that.  
“Yes, go ahead and laugh. Laugh while you can, my vengeance will be all the more terrible.”  
“Sure it will,” Quirrel laughed and tossed the pillow back at him, slow enough to be caught easily.  
“What’s this? A token of peace? An attempt to regain my mercy?”  
“How old are you again?” Quirrel asked but wholeheartedly returned the silly grin Tiso was flashing him from behind the pillow.  
“Old enough to know that it really shouldn’t matter,” he said and Quirrel gave him a thumbs up.  
Goofing off with him was always so much fun. Would all of that just stop?  
As if on cue Tiso’s phone buzzed and he got distracted by it again.

“Oh,” he said. “It’s from Tamer…”  
Quirrel gripped the backrest of his chair a bit tighter. “Oh? She gave you her number?”  
Tiso nodded. “We exchanged some numbers when I ran into her and some of the gang today.”  
Of course. Good on him. But what did she want?  
“Good on you. What does she want?”  
Tiso fidgeted with his legs to sit upright.  
“They’re gonna be out in town tomorrow. She asks if I wanna come. Says I should meet the rest of the group. Fuck… Quirrel, what do I do?”

Meet the rest of the group. Hasn’t he met the whole group already? In the cafeteria? On his way to athletics? Won’t he meet them next Saturday?  
“Don’t you have stuff to do for school? I haven’t seen you working on homework at all today.”  
Tiso huffed.  
“I mean, it’s not like we’re gonna hang out the whole day I don’t think… Whatever, I’m gonna say yes." He typed out a reply.  
"Hey, I could ask if it’s okay to bring you along. I could use a wingman.”  
Quirrel’s stomach turned at the mere thought.  
It had been hard enough to see him tables away in the cafeteria, fawning over Tamer and laughing with the rest of the group. He did not want to have to witness this up close. He was just lucky to be sharing a place with Tiso, he had no real reason to hang out with him otherwise.

“I still got school stuff to take care of.”  
A blatant lie. The tasks that he still had on his plate wouldn’t be due for another week; he could take care of them pretty much whenever. He had finished up all the most necessary stuff today, so he would have tomorrow off. For a lazy Sunday, as every week. Where Tiso and he would just hang out inside, have a shitty movie running in the background or maybe play videogames. Then, towards the evening he would push Tiso to do the stuff that was due the next days and offer his help whenever he would need it. Like pretty much every Sunday. He loved Sundays.  
Tiso sighed: “Okay, you do you. I mean, I can handle this by myself just as well.”  
Quirrel was absolutely sure of it. Tiso would be going to have a real kick out of tomorrow.

When it was late enough to at least try to sleep Quirrel was still on his laptop. He was watching some videos on math, one of his favorite time wasters and an easy method to take his mind off of things. He was so hard focused on it that he completely forgot the time. It was almost 3am when Tiso tapped his shoulder and Quirrel nearly jumped out of his chair.  
He removed his headphones.  
“Dude, would you mind calling it a day?” Tiso asked. He sounded really tired.  
“I’m already almost too hype to sleep and this flickering really isn’t helping.”  
“Of course! Sorry…”  
Quirrel decided to not even finish watching the video. Now that his concentration was elsewhere he also noticed how his body screamed at him to finally go to bed. If he hadn’t had 2 pitchers of coffee today he might have noticed sooner.  
“I’m gonna go sleep, too, I think,” he said as he shut his laptop.  
Tiso nodded and shuffled back to his bed.

Quirrel couldn’t sleep.  
He blamed the coffee.  
He blamed tomorrow.  
He blamed Tamer.  
He didn’t blame Tiso’s snoring however.  
That had never been a problem. At least not after the first couple of nights. 

The first night it had been terrible. He almost had hated him for it.  
The second night he already had used the time Tiso was keeping him up to read.  
The third night he had used the same time to watch him sleep, how he’d sometimes choke on his own snoring and bury his face into his pillow before going back to snoring only a few breaths later.  
The nights after that he would still have trouble falling asleep but for completely different reasons.  
He couldn’t sleep because every time he heard Tiso turn around under his blanket his pulse would rise a bit.  
Because every time his snoring would stop and be interrupted by just soft breathing his heart would beat a little faster.  
Because every time he caught a glimpse of his face peeking out from under the blanket in the not perfect darkness he felt like a disgusting creep.

And now, months later, he couldn’t sleep either. Because being so aware of all these details would probably be a lot more painful after tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can u smell the drama lurkin


	6. Snap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tamer has news.  
Tiso doesn't take them well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a fair warning, things will be going downhill for a while.  
As you can probably glean from the not so subtle tags I have a happy end planned and am going for that, however there will be a good few chapters of angst before that and I have no way to tell how fast and regularily I will get to update this fic. Or how many chapters it will take me to get to the point where things look up for the characters again.  
Just so you know. :0
> 
> Now have fun with the ride downhill uwu

Tiso jolted awake when the alarm on his phone went off. As he flailed his arm to grab it off the headboard he could hear Quirrel groaning into his mattress across the room. Confused about why he would have an alarm set on a Sunday he squinted at his phone. However, when he read what he had named the alarm – which was only “Tamer” – his eyes shot open and he almost hectically rolled out of bed.  
There was no real reason to hurry since he had set the alarm way ahead of the time they had agreed on, but he still was more than eager to get ready and going as soon as possible. He flipped his blanket over to air it a little before grabbing his clothes.  
“Dude, chill, lemme sleep…” Quirrel murmured, still pretty out of it.  
“Sorry!” Tiso hissed and tried to be a bit quieter about it, which was hard. He was excited and hyper and due to jumping out of bed almost instantly without any real time to boot up properly his circulation was acting up to the point of his vision almost completely blacking out that one time, but he caught himself.

Quirrel stirred and rubbed his face.  
“Tiso, for fuck’s sake…”  
“Sorry, but I gotta get ready!! Meeting Tamer! Remember?”  
Quirrel blinked at him once, twice and then fell back onto his pillow with a groan.  
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with?”  
Quirrel grumbled something intelligible and then added: “Just let me sleep, please…”  
Tiso snickered.  
“Alright, I’m sorry, I’ll leave you be.”  
Moving even slower and quieter than before, he pulled out a semi fresh towel from his pile and snuck into the bathroom to shower.

When Tiso said goodbye quietly he got no response from Quirrel at all, so it was safe to assume he was fast asleep again. He double checked all his pockets - phone, money, keys – and then carefully and slowly pulled the door closed.

Of course he was at the agreed meeting spot way too early. It wasn’t far from the dorms, so even taking his sweet time walking didn’t shave off much of the time he would still have to wait.  
Young men loitering around the park on weekends was not an uncommon thing, so he did not really stand out that much. If it weren’t for the nervous pacing. He was a little bit miffed that Quirrel hadn’t come with him. For one, he would not have left the house this unreasonably ahead of time, and for another he would have had someone to talk to. To calm his nerves. His mind was all over the place and Quirrel was just really good at grounding him. If he was able to make you the master of the situation when it came to homework you understood close to nothing about then he definitely would have been able to help out here too.  
But he’d rather sleep the morning away and let Tiso freak out about what ifs that would probably not even occur. Like Tamer forgetting to collect him. Or sleeping in. Or him actually being at the wrong bench and missing her. Or anything else that could go wrong.

When he saw Tamer enter the park, the tight feeling of worrying in his chest immediately vanished and he relaxed his shoulders. He had already noticed the day before, that her casual style was a lot different from what she wore in college. It was by far not chaotic or laid back enough to be classified as punk, but her outfit had a certain energy about it that just radiated how little fucks she was willing to give, all while almost carrying a military strictness.  
Leather jacket, combat boots, but not fully laced up, the jacket open and almost loose enough to slip off one shoulder…

“Hey!”  
Before Tiso knew it she was standing in front of him.  
“Morning,” he greeted, a bit perplexed by how much he had lost track of her while straight up staring at her.  
“How was athletics?” she asked. Casual conversation. Nothing too hard.  
“Eh, it was alright. But I’m thinking of dropping out,” he said, trying hard to sound indifferent about it.  
“Oh?” She raised a brow, “Not to hang out with us I hope?”  
“Nah, I’ve been considering it for a while now,” he lied “Just needed one more reason, I guess?”  
“Right…” Tamer almost sounded as if she didn’t fully buy it, but she said it with a smile that gave Tiso the feeling that it didn’t matter anyway.

“Okay so, I just heard that Cloth is busy with her temp job, which I didn’t know, but that’s actually convenient, because I think it’s more important that you meet Hornet.”  
Tiso cocked his head a little. The name rang a bell.  
“Oh, I think you’ve mentioned her before maybe?”  
Tamer chuckled. “Oh yeah, that’s very possible. Because, uh…”  
She seemed to hesitate. Her eyes bore into Tiso’s and for a split second he thought he saw something almost hostile in there before her expression softened but still remained serious.  
“Hornet is my girlfriend. And if that’s something you can’t deal with, you should give hanging out with us a second thought.”

It took Tiso a hot minute to actually understand what Tamer had just said.  
When it finally sank in, his heart sank too. And his blood pressure as well, he was sure, because he was feeling faint. Girlfriend. She was taken. Not only was she taken, but she was gay.  
When Tiso did not react, Tamer crossed her arms in a more closed off manner.  
“I’m waiting for a reaction here,” she said, looking at him expectantly and Tiso gave his best to snap his thoughts back into the there and then. 

“Your girlfriend?” he asked, barely suppressing a stutter, “As in partner?”  
First she just nodded, her arms knotting around each other tighter ever so slightly.  
“Yeah,” she then said “Problem?”

Tiso felt winded, as if he had just taken a harsh blow to the guts.  
“Not at all,” he said. His mouth was very dry all of a sudden and his arms itched. But Tamer’s posture relaxed a little.  
“Are you sure?” she asked and Tiso nodded in response.  
“Yeah, I’m just… surprised? I didn’t think you were a, uh…”  
“Lesbian?” Tamer offered when Tiso had trouble finishing the sentence.  
“Yeah, that.”  
“Well, I am, and if it’s no issue to you, then all the better. Wanna get going and pick her up?”

Now would be a great moment to get a call. About the dorm being on fire. Or any emergency, really, anything to pull him away from the situation. Or Quirrel. If only he was here to create some sort of diversion, anything to bail and not have it look like bailing.  
He would be reasonable. More analytical. Maybe Tiso could just try that too.  
Be reasonable. And analytical.  
“Actually…” he began “Wouldn’t that be weird? What about the other one? Cloth you said? If she’s not coming, I’d only be third wheeling, and I guess that’d be awkward for all of us.”  
Wow. That actually sounded plausible.  
“And I still got work to do for college. So it’s not like I’d get bored or anything.”  
Tamer relaxed a little more and even laughed at that a bit.  
“Yeah, I suppose so?”  
“Yeah, maybe another time,” Tiso added.  
“Saturday?”  
“Sure,” he replied without even thinking.  
“Okay, cool, see you then! Have a good one!”  
She patted his shoulder as she took her leave, but he only felt it once she had already removed her hand again.  
He turned to watch her walk away, not finding the strength to move or break down.

Not knowing how long he had just been standing there, mind unpleasantly blank, he took out his phone after a while to check the time. Quirrel was probably awake by now.

Tiso was glad that he had walked the same way so many times before. He was pretty much on autopilot, his thoughts being everywhere and nowhere and only when he stood in front of his room and had to take out his keys was it that he realized that he had made it home.  
When he entered he was greeted with Quirrel sitting on his bed, laptop on his legs and an open bag of chips next to him. He looked at him in shock and disbelieve.  
“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, very confused “Weren’t you meeting with Tamer?”  
“She has a girlfriend,” Tiso huffed and Quirrel blinked.  
“Sorry, what?”  
Tiso closed the door and leaned against the frame.  
“She is. A fucking lesbian. And has. A fucking girlfriend,” he said slowly, as if he still hadn’t really grasped it himself. And really, he hadn’t.  
“I’m going to bed.”  
“Tiso,” Quirrel said but he just dismissively waved his arm.  
“Whatever it is, dude, I don’t wanna hear it. I’m gonna go sleep.”  
He barely made the effort to kick off his shoes and just crawled into his bed.

Tamer was fantastic. She was cool, funny, and horrifyingly out of reach. And that made something inside Tiso pull so tight that it snapped and he curled together under the blanket and just cried silently. Usually he would never allow himself to cry in the same room with anyone else. But right now it was alright, since the whole world was crumbling away anyway.


	7. Cheese Puffs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comfort food but it doesn't even get eaten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, I'm back from my small vacay and still working on this, yes yes c:

Tiso looked absolutely miserable. Curled up, fully clothed huddled under his blanket. Quirrel couldn’t hear him cry, but the silent sobs shaking him were enough of an indicator. He didn’t know what to say, if anything at all. He didn’t know what to feel either. Mostly he felt sorry for him. But there was also something that felt like relief. Happiness even. And he wanted to punch himself for it. What kind of asshole would be happy about their best friend being heartbroken?  
And he was angry. At Tamer. Not only because she had made Tiso more miserable than he had ever seen, but also because she was out. Tiso now somehow knew that she had a girlfriend and was a lesbian. So he had either met them together and their interactions were clear enough that even Tiso had been able to pick up on it. Or she had told him directly. And the mere thought of that made Quirrel’s blood boil. How could anyone be only remotely casual about it? Sure, it wasn’t as if anyone would bully Tamer for being a lesbian - Quirrel was sure that this woman could and would break your legs for it. But it was just unfair.  
And again like many times before Quirrel’s thoughts orbited about all the horrible possible outcomes to him coming out to Tiso. Especially right now it would probably make things worse. A lot worse.  
He bunched up the bag of chips and closed his laptop. "Yo," he said, trying to just steer completely around the titan beetle in the room "Want to put on a movie? It’s still crazy early, dude. You gonna waste the whole day."  
"Good," was all that Tiso choked out in response.  
Quirrel’s chest grew tight. "We could rewatch something we’ve already seen. Take your mind off shit?"  
Tiso groaned.  
"Come on, I’m trying to pick you up here."  
"I don’t want to be picked up." His voice was almost too muffled by the blanket to understand "Just shut up and leave me be."  
Quirrel swallowed. It really shouldn’t be that hard to do just that.  
"Alright," he sighed and grabbed his phone from his bed’s headrest, getting his jacket next.  
"I’ll leave you alone for a bit. If you need anything just... I dunno, feel free to text me. I’ll be back in an hour or something." And he left the flat.

The weather was alright. Not too grey and not too windy. It being the weekend the streets were just busy enough and Quirrel contemplated visiting the city center for a moment, but discarded the thought soon after. He just walked around for a while, seeing the sights that he already had seen plenty of times before until his phone buzzed. It was a text from his mother and he winced. Saturdays were their regular phone days for their weekly call, since Tiso was at athletics and they could freely talk about anything.  
The entire issue with Tamer had knocked Quirrel completely off his schedule; he had been so busy distracting himself that he had forgotten about a lot of other things too.  
And of course his mother would be worried; he had never missed a phone day before. He typed out a response to let her know that something had come up and he had just been too distracted.  
He wasn’t really in the mood for a call anyway.

He hadn’t made it much further when he got another text. Fumbling out his phone he groaned, already thinking up an excuse why he couldn’t call. He almost dropped it when he saw it was a text from Tiso

"Didn’t mean to kick you out like that You can come back if you want Sorry"

Quirrel stared at the text for a little bit before even starting to settle for a decision. He highly doubted that Tiso’s mood had improved already. But maybe he just didn’t want to be alone right now. Maybe he changed his mind and needed someone to distract him.  
He replied: "I’ll swing by 7/11 first. Need anything?" His message was immediately marked as read, yet Tiso didn’t reply for a long while. He shrugged. Tiso probably just had left the texting app open.  
Quirrel turned to make his way to the store, digging in his pockets. He had left his wallet at the dorm but luckily still had some change from last time. When he arrived at the store he checked his phone again. "No" was Tiso’s reply. Quirrel smiled sadly at the text and his determination to find something for him anyways was doubled.

When he unlocked the door, Quirrel didn’t know what he should have expected, but overall not much had changed. Apparently Tiso had taken off his hoodie which lay crumpled up next to his bed he was still laying in. Quirrel closed the door quietly. "Hey, you awake?" he asked and the lump under the blanket that must have been Tiso moved.  
"I brought some cheese puffs. You like those, right?" The question was absolutely redundant; even though Tiso wasn’t having them too often Quirrel knew how much he loved those.  
Tiso moved again until he was peeking out from under the blanket and just the sight of him hurt. 

Quirrel had been out for an hour at max, yet Tiso looked as if he had cried through an entire night. His eyes were red and puffy and looked sunken in as if he hadn’t gotten any sleep in a good while.  
"The paprika ones?" His voice sounded very raspy and very hopeful.  
Quirrel smiled at him and lifted the bag with the very artificially red tinted corn puffs.  
"The last bag they had, actually." For a second it looked as if Tiso smiled back before he winced and moved to sit up.  
Quirrel put the bag on the small counter they had and filled the electric kettle. "You really should drink something. Maybe go dunk your head in cold water too. Or something else to help you wake up."  
Tiso coughed. "I’m alright," he said not sounding alright at all. It wasn’t hard to notice how his voice caught in his throat, how his hands were shaking and how he immediately deflated in on himself once he was sitting. The mere sight of it was heartbreaking.  
"Like hell you are," Quirrel said and opened the window. Just from the look of him he could tell that Tiso needed everything. Fresh air, some food, something to drink, to get comfortable, a hug - Quirrel choked on his own thoughts.  
"If you need some alone time, that’s okay, y’know?" he said, as he took out a bowl and filled it with the corn balls that smelled of cheese so suspiciously that it was hard to believe that actual cheese had been involved at any point of their production. "I can keep busy outdoors while-"  
Tiso interrupted him. "I think that’d make it worse. I’d much rather have you here right now."  
Quirrel swallowed. He would much rather be here right now, too.  
"Anything you wanna do? To make you feel better?" Tiso took the bowl Quirrel was handing him and only shrugged. "I don’t know. Everything sucks."  
He sounded like he was about to cry again and without giving it another thought Quirrel moved to sit next to him. For a while neither of them talked and Tiso just held the bowl of cheese puffs on his lap without eating them. Quirrel was just about to say something when an audible sob shook the one next to him.  
"Dude, hey..." He felt so infinitely helpless, still reluctant to touch him, so when Tiso let himself tip over to lean against his shoulder Quirrel visibly stiffened.  
"This is so unfair," Tiso whined and inhaled sharply, seemingly fighting off tears again.  
Quirrel forced himself to relax his shoulders a little and struggled internally where to put his hands. The only options were to just sit there motionless, an awkward half hug, or touch his leg unprompted. After a second of contemplation Quirrel went for the awkward half hug and patted Tiso's shoulder. To his surprise Tiso didn’t shrug him off but instead sniffled and then moved to nestle against him more comfortably.  
"It’s not fair," he said again and Quirrel agreed with a small nod against his head, hoping that the pounding in his chest was only audible to him.


	8. Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What goes up usually crashes again once it's time for bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a slightly shorter one; I still have mild trouble getting into Tiso's character uwu  
But yay, 10k words! 5 times as much as originally intended and we still haven't hit the big plot point I wanted to write when I started this. xD;;;;;;;;; Wellp.....

Tiso couldn’t remember when he last had been hugged by anyone. He had to think about it for longer than he wanted without coming up with anything and it made him feel even more miserable. He tried hard to not start crying harder again, his fingers gripping the bowl of cheese puffs tighter.  
Quirrel didn’t say a single word, eyes firmly locked in front and Tiso couldn’t help it but feel deeply grateful for him just being there without trying to make conversation. Sure, he felt like shit, but he also doubted that any talk would fix that. It was just so much more helpful to have him to lean on quite literally. Tiso was still hiccupping but already calming down and when Quirrel only moved to soothingly rub his thumb against his shoulder once, twice, it was almost like an off switch for his crying.

Once he felt he fully had his breathing back under control he went to fish out one of the reddish cheese puffs from the bowl and eat it. He was so stuffy from crying that the combination of eating and breathing became a challenging one but he started and most certainly was not gonna stop eating anytime soon. He did his best to ignore that the crunching and his breathless sniffing were the only sounds in the room, so when the bowl was nearly empty and he felt something very suddenly buzz against his leg he nearly jumped off the bed, startling Quirrel as well.  
Quirrel fidgeted to get his vibrating phone out of his pocket, while Tiso scooted away to give him enough space to do so. Quirrel looked at his phone going off and sighed.

“My mom…”  
Tiso grinned weakly at him. “Oh, you really don’t want to miss her call.”  
Quirrel returned the pained grin and accepted the call.  
Tiso pulled both of his legs up on the bed and continued eating the cheese puffs as Quirrel was talking.

“Hey, mom. Yeah, of course. No everything is fine. Kinda? Sorry, the last days were a bit, I dunno. No, it’s okay. Yes, really.”  
Tiso didn’t really mean to listen in on their conversation, but he couldn’t help it. Thinking back now, Quirrel had been very busy with school work the past days, but Tiso had been so preoccupied with his crush on Tamer that he hadn’t thought much of it. In retrospect he felt a bit like a bad friend. Quirrel was working very hard for his degree and apparently so swamped with work and now he was burdening him with his stupid drama. He only got torn away from that thought when he heard his name.  
“I’m just hanging out with Tiso? Mom, no!” Quirrel spared a quick glance at Tiso that almost looked panicked.  
“Mom, please. No, I’m not putting you on speaker!”  
Tiso curled up a little. Quirrel’s mom was nice and all, but he really didn’t want a conversation with her right now. Having Quirrel see him like this was already bad enough.  
“It’s not a good time, okay? Wha-? MOM!” Quirrel’s mom was laughing loud enough that Tiso was able to hear her even through the phone.  
“I hate you! …yea, love you, too. Bye.Yeah, bye.” And he hung up with a distressed groan.

“What the hell was that?” Tiso dared ask and Quirrel groaned again.  
“Just my mom being my mom…” he said and stuffed his phone back into his pocket. “Sorry,” he mumbled “How are you feeling?”  
Tiso wiped his face, a little too late thinking getting crumbs all over him.  
“Better? I think. Thanks for the cheese puffs. I’m…” Tiso took a shuddery breath. No longer distracted by Quirrel on the phone he felt his thoughts orbiting back closer to Tamer again, and now he was thinking about Tamer again and he felt the same tight knot in his chest as before.  
“Can we watch a movie, please? Something stupid, anything?”  
Quirrel nodded.

The movie was terrible in all the right ways. The acting was mediocre at best, the plot predictable and shallow, and the special effects pretty much what carried the entire film, over and all a great time waster. Same for its sequel. And the remake. It took until the credits for Tiso to remember he still had to take care of college stuff.  
While he buried his head in math problems Quirrel got a book he had been reading.  
Through the entire time Tiso worked they didn’t talk, he had both the math book and his writing pad on his lap and Quirrel sitting next to him as if it were their new natural formation to hang out. It was nice and quiet and Tiso had enough fodder for his brain to keep his mind busy.

It took until night time for him to crash again. The lights were off and while they still had talked a bit after going to bed, by now Quirrel was asleep and Tiso spiraling back down into his low. He didn’t even specifically think of Tamer. He just felt miserable. He had no guess as to how long he lay awake but after a good while he noticed that he was hungry. Throughout the entire day he had only eaten the bag of cheese puffs Quirrel had gotten him. At one point during the second movie Quirrel had made himself some of his atrocious instant noodles and even offered Tiso some, but he hadn’t been hungry back then. He was hungry now, yet the mere thought of food made his stomach turn. Pretty much everything did at the moment, and when it wasn’t that, there still was that tenacious lump in his throat his breath kept catching on. He curled in on himself under the blanket.  
He was too hungry to eat, too tired to sleep and too miserable to cry again.  
Having no feeling for time at all he soon gave up on trying to sleep all together and decided that just waiting out the night was the better way to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only have my own mom for reference, so now Quirrel's mom (who of course is Monomon, duhh) is a trolling little gremlin, too. Because I wasn't projecting hard enough before hh


	9. Skip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso skips school

When Quirrel’s alarm went off he only reluctantly forced his eyes open. He had gotten way too little sleep again. In a way it was Tiso’s fault for not falling asleep sooner. Only after he had started to snore peacefully was Quirrel able to relax a bit himself. He had no clue around what time that had been but he wouldn’t have been too surprised if it had been later than 3am. He fumbled with his phone to turn off the alarm.  
With a groan he swung his legs out of bed and sat up, rubbing his face.  
“Tiso…” he mumbled from behind his hands “Come on, get up.”  
Once he had rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked over to Tiso’s bed he was surprised to see him sitting in it, upright, phone in hand.  
“…morning,” he murmured. Although this was the most awake Quirrel had seen him around this time possibly ever, he didn’t seem rested at all.  
“How on earth are you already awake?” Tiso shrugged and lifted his head a little to look at Quirrel.  
“Feels more like I’m awake still,” he said, and he looked and sounded like he meant it.  
“Oh god...”  
“I mean, I probably slept. But not nearly enough…And you’ve been tossing and turning all night, dude, didn’t make things easier.”  
Quirrel frowned. “Well, sorry…” He somewhat meant it but at the same time, it seemed a little unfair.  
“No, don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame you,” Tiso quickly added “I mean, you were sleeping, it’s not like you kept me up on purpose or anything. But I’m so done, man. I think Imma go ahead and skip my first period. Try to sleep some.”  
Quirrel would have preferred to scold him for the mere thought of that, but Tiso looked so miserable and a bit more sleep might actually just fix that.  
“Fair enough,” he said “Then you should try to get to it though.”  
Quirrel picked out something to wear for the day and went to take his morning shower.

When Quirrel returned from his classes he stopped short right after opening the door to his and Tiso's room. Tiso was curled up in his bed sleeping soundly.  
“Are you serious?” Quirrel asked just baffled. Tiso stirred only a little before he let out a groan.  
“Have you slept the entire day?” he asked as he dropped his bag on his bed and sat down on it to take off his shoes “Hey! Are you awake?”  
Tiso groaned in response. “More or less…” His voice was muffled by the blanked.  
“You are unbelievable!” Quirrel didn’t even sound angry, just baffled. He wasn’t angry anyway. Tiso was responsible for himself and if he was alright with skipping an entire day of classes, then that was his choice to make. But Quirrel couldn’t help but at least feel somewhat responsible. Or worried, at the very least.  
“Hey,” he started again and walked over to Tiso’s bed to nudge him a little.  
He grumbled but moved to be able to look at the other.  
“Wow. You look like shit,” Quirrel commented with a sad smile.  
“I feel like shit,” Tiso confirmed and pressed his face back into the pillow.  
Quirrel sighed and nudged Tiso to move a little. After Tiso had cried in front of him yesterday Quirrel felt a lot less awkward to go ahead and sit on the edge of his bed.  
“Dude, I get that you’re off your game and all, but you can’t just check out like that.”  
Tiso turned his head again to glare at Quirrel.  
“Let’s be real, you’re already struggling with some of your subjects as is. I get that you’re depressed and all, but if you slouch like that with college too, it’s not gonna make things easier.”  
Tiso grumbled something.  
“I know you’re right,” he sighed and shifted to lie on his back “It’s just… I don’t know actually. I’m trying, okay?”  
Quirrel nodded with more understanding than he’d tell him.  
“Sometimes trying is the best we can do.”  
Tiso snorted at that.  
“Wow, so deep. Care to write a poem about that?”  
“Fuck off,” Quirrel grinned and Tiso actually grinned back.  
“Okay, you’re right.” He sat up and Quirrel gave him some more room. “Imma text some people for their notes, would that help?”  
“Me? I don’t see how,” Quirrel lied. The prospect of Tiso being productive in any way was already putting him at ease. “Yourself though? Definitely.”  
Tiso snickered and sat up even straighter.  
“Quirrel, stupid question?”  
“Try me.”  
“Can I have some of your instant coffee?”

They spent the evening rather productively, Quirrel with his homework and Tiso with actually managing to collect some notes from some fellow students.  
It might have been the lack of sleep from the night before, but once it was around bedtime it took Tiso no time at all to fall asleep that night. Quirrel was not fully settled under his blanked when he already heard the soft snoring from across the room. He couldn’t help but smile warmly to himself.  
The next day Tiso seemed well rested, or as rested as he usually was in the morning which Quirrel took as a huge relief.  
Maybe his friend wasn’t as miserable as he thought he was. And he hoped it would stay that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay in school, kids!  
Or at least make sure you don't fall behind!


	10. Intention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso made up his mind and is making plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to MirrorDragon for helping me out quite a lot with the last chapters by beta reading them. ^0^

His mind was made up. He liked Tamer, and Tamer was taken.  
Sure, that sucked.  
But it was just a minor setback. He was going to get over this one way or another. And one way to do so was to get real closure. He was sure he was gonna get that by just confessing to her.  
So she has a girlfriend, who cares? It was still in his good right to approach her and tell her that he liked her. And what was the worst that could happen? She could reject him. Which had basically already happened. And what would be the best thing that could happen? Tiso’s heart almost jumped at the thought of it.  
It was decided. He was going to tell her. Maybe already tomorrow if he’d see her.

He had rolled the thought around in his head the entire day until he had chemistry with Quirrel and nudged his elbow with his, hissing.  
“Hey, Quirrel!”  
He turned towards Tiso subtly to show that he was listening.  
“I’ve decided to talk to Tamer,” he whispered and the other looked at him, a little confused.  
“You know? About everything.”  
Quirrel furrowed his brows. “I’m not sure if that’s a smart thing to do…” he said, but Tiso waved him off.  
“You’re not gonna talk me out of it dude, this is something I need to do.” And he meant it. If this was not gonna help him get over his crush, what hope did he have that anything else would.  
Quirrel huffed before he got back to his notes.  
“If you say so…” he murmured, jotting down some bullet points.  
“Okay, but I need your help,” Tiso continued “You know? As a wingman!”  
Quirrel put his pen down and stared at him with a weird expression. Annoyance maybe?  
“Are you kidding me?” he hissed and Tiso replied with a shrug.  
“She is taken! And you just want to go ahead and gloss over that?”  
“Come on, a man can hope!” he said with a smirk. And hoping he did.

The next day started a bit out of the ordinary already with Tiso waking Quirrel when it was usually the other way around.  
It took him some work to get him out of bed and he felt a little bad about himself usually being such a piece of work in the morning.  
But since Quirrel always made sure that he would not doze off again, it felt more than fair to do the same thing for him for a change, even though Quirrel did not seem too appreciative.

Leaving the flat together they soon split up for their respective classes, but met back up for chemistry.  
Afterwards when the two were on their way to the cafeteria, Tiso immediately scanned the hall to see if Tamer was there. He had been thinking about how to approach her the entire day and just wanted this to be over with.  
While him and Quirrel stood in line to get some food he looked around and checked each table – but he found no trace of Tamer or anyone else from the gang and he sighed in disappointment.  
Quirrel glanced at him.  
“What’s up?” he asked as they shuffled more ahead with the line.  
“Nothing, I was just checking if Tamer is here. But I guess not.”  
Quirrel frowned at him. “You really want to pull this off, huh?”  
“Of course!” Tiso said, a little bit offended by how Quirrel apparently hadn’t taken him seriously before.  
“I need to do this, with or without your help or support or whatever.”  
The line moved again.  
Quirrel shrugged. “Sure man,” he said with almost insulting disinterest and turned to look at the display of the menu for the day. “What are you getting? The goulash again?”  
“Oh, shit, that’s today?”

Once they had found a place to sit and eat together Quirrel got out his notes for his upcoming class as always and Tiso tore the salt package open he always picked up on goulash days.  
First they ate (and read) in comparable silence which Tiso left to his thoughts.  
It felt strange somehow; it had been just a week since he had talked to Tamer for the first time but it had felt a lot longer. Possibly thanks to the slouch he had fallen into ever since she had outed herself to him. But he was determined to pull through with his plan. He was going to tell her that he liked her, no matter what.  
He gulped down the food he had in his mouth. “Hey, about tomorrow…” he started “I do want to go meet Tamer and the others instead of going to athletics.”  
“Figured as much,” Quirrel murmured and poked at one of the meat chunks on his plate that kept slipping away from him.  
He had gotten the same dish as Tiso. Again. That fact and considering how much instant food he ate Tiso was sure that Quirrel had very little care for what it was he was eating.  
“Please come with?” he straight out asked and Quirrel sighed.  
“You do realize that you’re only going to make a fool out of yourself, right?”  
Tiso frowned. “You don’t know that…” he grumbled and Quirrel smirked at him.  
“That you’re an idiot? Oh, I do know that.”  
“Fuck off.”  
“But seriously,” Quirrel continued “I don’t see why you want to go through with this when she is in a relationship. Seems somewhat disrespectful.”  
Tiso’s expression grew a bit darker still. “Look, Tamer can do what she wants. I just owe this to myself, okay? And if she shoots me down, then fine, that’d be the end of it and I’d move on. Eventually.”  
Quirrel just gave him a doubtful look.  
“Yes, you don’t like the plan, I got it.” Tiso poked at his food a little more aggressively than necessary. The meat was already dead after all.  
“But still, it would really help a lot if you could come with tomorrow, okay?” Quirrel sighed again but Tiso cut him off before he could even start: “Please? You’re my best friend here and I could really use some support.”  
It wasn’t easy to even admit it to himself, but when he had met Tamer at the park the last weekend he had wished that Quirrel had been there with him.  
“I really need you.”  
Quirrel seemed to think about it for a moment.

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honey, you've got a big storm comin'.
> 
> Next chapter might have some sensitive topics, so stay safe while reading, everyone owo/


	11. Low Blow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso talks without thinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small headsup that there is some mild homophobia ahead, if this is a sensitive topic for you, please check the end notes for more detailed info in case you want them ahead of reading. c:  
If you think this chapter isn't something you will enjoy, feel free to comment on this chapter and ask for a washed out summary.

Quirrel really didn’t want to get up.  
He already hadn’t caught much sleep the night before, and this time it hadn’t been much better. He really wasn’t keen on starting the day so when Tiso shook his shoulder to wake him up, he made a very disgruntled noise.  
“Come on dude, get up.” Tiso sounded unusually awake for the time, unusually chipper.  
Quirrel turned his head to press his face into the pillow and let out a muffled but still almost unnecessarily loud groan.  
“Oh good, you’re awake,” Tiso grinned “I’m gonna shower real quick, okay?”  
Quirrel wormed his arm out from under the blanket which was a little hard since he did get tangled up a bit and gave him the thumbs up.  
While Tiso was getting ready in the bathroom Quirrel forced himself out of bed. Today was really going to test him, he was sure. He wouldn’t have minded to spontaneously bail out, but he couldn’t, for Tiso’s sake.  
Quirrel collected what he wanted to wear for the day and waited for Tiso to get done to go take a quick shower himself. He hoped that that would help him wake up properly.

As soon as he was out of the bathroom himself Tiso started talking.  
Quirrel had a very hard time following, but since Tiso was just going on about random topics without actually waiting for any input on anything in return, zoning out so many times didn’t seem to do any harm. He just let him ramble on, occasionally shrugging with a hum, which apparently kept him satisfied enough to just keep talking.

When they left the dorm Quirrel had completely lost track of Tiso’s monolog. The topics ranged from school to food to Tamer to sports to snacks, all over the place.  
“Dude,” he interrupted him after a while of walking “You need to calm down.”  
Tiso turned and blinked at him. “What do you mean “calm down”? I am calm, I’m just…” Apparently it was just now catching up to him that he had been talking quite a lot without barely taking the time to breathe. “I’m just excited. Sorry.”  
‘You really shouldn’t be’ Quirrel thought to himself as they entered the park where everyone was planning to meet up.

It didn’t take long for them to spot the group. Quirrel recognized Tamer and a few others of the bunch; they all had been at the cafeteria when Tiso first went to talk to her about a week ago.  
Tiso’s steps slowed only slightly and for a second Quirrel was hoping that he was giving this a second thought.  
A little optimistic, admittedly. He knew Tiso well enough to know how stubborn he could get, especially about horrible ideas.  
And when Tamer spotted them and waved, Tiso picked his normal speed back up. Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket Quirrel hunched his shoulders but still tried to put on a friendly expression as he followed him.

Tiso greeted her and the rest with a casual handshake before setting down his backpack at the bench some of the group were launching on.  
“Hey, you brought your roomie! Nice!” Tamer greeted “We haven’t met properly I guess. Quirrel I assume?”  
Quirrel took the hand she offered him and shook it, mildly confused.  
“Uh, yeah? How-“  
“Oh, Tiso told me. You were staring at us that one time in the cafeteria, so yeah, Tiso told me a bit about you. Welcome to the club, nerd!” There was no sting in her voice, it sounded more endearing even. But still Quirrel completely zoned out as she introduced herself and the rest of her friends.  
He had been staring when Tiso approached the group back then. He hadn’t even noticed.  
But Tamer had.  
And probably Tiso as well.  
Quirrel just wanted the ground to open up and swallow him right then and there. But the ground held firm even as Tamer took the hand of one of the girls and pulled her closer.  
“And this is Hornet, my girlfriend.”  
That simple sentence snapped Quirrel’s mind right back into focus.  
How casual that sounded. How confident.  
It was baffling.  
Hornet looked a bit older than Tamer if still significantly shorter, her chin tucked into the collar of a turtleneck sweater. She gave a small wave and a “Hey” and Quirrel could not help but glace at Tiso nervously. His expression was tense, maybe not from just determination.  
“Tamer?” he asked in a tone that immediately made it clear to Quirrel what he was intending to say next. He swallowed.  
Why had he agreed to accompany him?  
Why was he here?  
Why was Tiso such an idiot?  
“What’s up, dude?” Tamer asked and Tiso straightened his back.  
Quirrel wished he could just turn around and leave without it being weird, but instead he heard Tiso say the words he had been dreading the entire time.

“I have the biggest crush on you.”

Everyone looked at him, conversations died as just about everything ground to a halt to take the time to have everyone stare at him in utter disbelieve. Tamer’s expression grew very cold and Hornet stepped a little closer to her, still holding her hand.  
“Excuse me?” Tamer’s voice was almost a hiss.  
Quirrel felt all blood drain from his face. He had agreed to come for support but at the moment he wasn’t sure if he would even be capable of handling the emotional kind. If Tamer decided to beat Tiso to a pulp for this audacity there was very little Quirrel would be able to do to stop her.  
Tiso opened his mouth but Tamer was faster.  
“Girlfriend,” she said very firmly and slowly as if talking to a grub while motioning to Hornet with her free hand “I thought you got that? What’s your problem?”  
Tiso closed his mouth and grit his teeth.  
“I don’t know,” he said uncharacteristically quiet “I just thought-“  
“Oh, you thought? What? I told you I had a girlfriend and you still pull this crap? In front of her, too?”  
The others started mumbling and Quirrel collected the rest of resolution he had and tried to meekly pull Tiso back a little, as a sign that it would be better to leave. But Tiso shrugged him off.  
“I didn’t know back when I fell for you!”  
“Yeah, and you weren’t exactly subtle about it,” Tamer huffed “That’s why I wanted you two to meet as soon as possible.” Tamer sounded more pissed off with each word. “You are wasting your time, dude.”  
Quirrel knew Tiso well enough to know all his tells when he was getting angry. And he was getting angry. But there was something different. Something new. Something bad.

“As I said,” he started and his voice had a weirdly calm and icy edge to it that Quirrel had never heard before “I didn’t know back then. I would help it if I could, believe me.”  
Quirrel looked at him and the expression that he had trained on Tamer almost scared him.  
“I never would have fallen for you”  
Quirrel could feel a different kind of dread wash over him.  
“If I had known…”  
Don’t go there.  
“…you were some arrogant…”  
Stop.  
“…weird…”  
Perverted  
“…disgusting…”  
Gross  
“…bitchy…”

Quirrel’s chest had drawn so tight that it hurt. His heart was hammering and the static in his mind was loud enough to drown out everything else. He saw Tiso’s mouth move but he couldn’t process what he said. He didn’t want to. He didn’t have to. It was evident on everyone’s faces that he had gone too far. He saw Tamers expression grow hard and stone cold. He saw Hornet lowering her head slightly, looking more angry than hurt, her grip on Tamer’s hand tightening.  
And then faster as he could see Tamer had thrown her fist at Tiso’s head, catching the side of his face.  
Someone jumped off the bench.  
Someone else grabbed Tamers arm.  
Someone else turned and ran.  
And Quirrel just stood there, swimming in the silence of his stunned mind. Until someone gently touched his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been itching to write this scene ever since I've started writing this, thanks to everyone who has read this far! ^0^ Hope you enjoy the suffering c:
> 
> More detailed trigger warnings:  
Someone is going to make homophobic comments, homophobic language and heavily implied usage of slurrs in this one.  
It leans heavily on the side of percepted homophobia and the only person getting harmed in this chapter kinda had it coming and it's only mild violence, no blood or anything.  
Stay safe while reading, I only want all of you to be reasonably misrable, I don't want to make people miserable for real. uwu


	12. Undo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso tries to cope the dumbest way he could have come up with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all strapped in and comfortable for a chain of misery chapters ;D
> 
> See end notes for content warnings - they're barely worth mentioning but better be safe than sorry :0

Tiso just walked briskly, straight ahead. He needed to get away, as far as possible.  
When Tamer had clocked him one he had barely even felt it. He was almost numb, too shocked by his own words. How could he have said something like that to Tamer? To anyone?  
He followed the street to nowhere specifically, just away from the park, away from the dorms, away from campus, away from Tamer and everybody.  
He was just so angry at himself that it allowed no other thought at all.  
The street had taken him a fair bit into the city center which was about a half an hour walk away from the park when his thoughts slowly but surely slipped back into order. And it was only then that the real horror of the situation caught up to him.  
It wasn’t just that Tamer would definitely hate him now. It wasn’t just that everybody else there had heard him and probably hated him too. No.  
The truly worse thing was that all these people with Hornet being the only exception as it seemed were going to his college. And word usually spread fast.  
Tiso passed a few shops until he found a bench to slump down on. It wasn’t as if Tiso was well known or popular or anything. But he did have friends and held contact with quite a few fellow students.  
He tapped his foot anxiously.  
When word would get out, the reputation he had would take a turn into a completely different direction.  
Tiso, the backwards idiot.  
Tiso, the narrow-minded prick.  
Word would spread and it wouldn’t be just Tamer and her friends hating him. The entire campus would think he was some homophobic asshole and hate him for it, if at least stay a good mile away from him. And those that would still want to hang out with him after this? Tiso knew damn well that he could very well do without their company.  
And Quirrel…  
Tiso pulled a grimace.  
He must think him the biggest dumbass. He tried his damn best to stop him from making this humongous mistake and he had completely ignored him and now he was probably convinced that he was an asshole too.  
And he lived with him in the same flat…  
Tiso’s stomach turned. He really liked Quirrel, he was the best friend he has ever had and the mere thought of him not wanting to talk to him anymore or arranging that they no longer had to share the same flat was enough to make him want to cry.  
But after what had just happened, could Tiso really blame him for it?

He dug in his pocket to pull out his phone and with slightly shaking fingers dialed up Quirrel’s number.  
The dial-tone rang out twice, thrice, four times.  
He waited but Quirrel didn’t pick up.  
If Tiso weren’t so mad at himself he could have broken down then and there. But he was upset enough to barely hold any thought longer than a few seconds.  
He wanted to go back in time and just unsay it all so badly. Twist it that this had never happened. Or just forget all about it. That would actually be the next best thing.  
As his mind darted around all the possibilities of pseudo solutions the memory of an anecdote came up, one his athletics coach had once told. About how he went to a party and got so utterly plastered, that he couldn’t remember any of it the next day.  
It seemed like the dumbest idea in the world but also like it was worth a shot.

There were plenty of stores around that sold drinks, harder stuff included, so he went into the next best small market and started browsing the shelves.  
When he placed a cheaper bottle of some peppermint liquor on the counter the short shopkeeper looked at it, then at him and raised his brows in doubt.  
“You wouldn’t happen to have an ID on you?” he asked and then Tiso noticed an additional problem. He had left without his backpack.  
“…no,” he said truthfully and the shopkeeper shook his head.  
“Sorry, son, I’m afraid you won’t be getting this then.”  
Tiso pulled a face. Why did everything have to pile up like this?  
“Come on, man, I’m almost twenty, and I really need this!” He maybe sounded a little too desperate.  
The other just squinted at him. “All the more reason to not sell it to you. You are definitely too young to “need” this. Now scram.”  
Tiso snarled at him but let go of the bottle. “Fine.”  
He turned to walk away and as he heard the shopkeeper behind him fumbling away with the bottle and the small cabinet behind the counter Tiso decided to make another mistake today. He had screwed his life completely over already, so how much more harm could this even do? In a subtle motion as he passed the shelf he grabbed a bottle from a convenient height and slid it into the pocket of his hoody and left swiftly.

He didn’t stop walking until he was a few blocks away. Slipping into a smaller side street, he took out his phone again  
Quirrel hadn’t tried to call him back or sent him a text either.  
But still, his backpack didn’t only have his ID inside but also his keys. He needed to know if Quirrel had it, if he was home, when he was home, if he’d be cool with letting him in, anything to assure that he would even be able to get back home after this disaster.  
Again, he just listened to the dial-tone with no one picking up. With a stressed grunt he hung up and stuffed the phone back into his pocket and then pulled out the bottle he had nicked.  
Vodka. Great. This was going to taste absolutely awful but it would probably do the job.  
All he had to do was drink it.  
He screwed the cap off the bottle and gave it an experimental sniff. It smelled more like something you’d put on very persistent stains than something anyone would want to put into themselves.  
He lifted the bottle, internally preparing himself for the first, rather modest sip.  
As soon as he had only a little in his mouth his entire face scrunched up.  
It felt like it burnt, it was bitter and his tongue immediately seemed to shrivel up in self-defense.  
He pulled away to look at the bottle and he was immediately sure: This was going to take a while and he would hate every second of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for making it this far!! ^0^  
This is the most consistently I have worked on anything written before and I am determined to pull through!!  
The end is planned and as things are going I will probably be sad once all is done and wrapped up.... ;w;
> 
> It might be interesting to add that the legal age for drinking is 18 where I am from so I went with that uwu  
Hope that doesN#t cause any confusion uwu
> 
> Here's the content warnings for people with triggers:  
Mild criminal behavior (without consequence; noone gets hurt) and usage of alcohol.


	13. Open doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quirrel finds his people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, sorry for the longer break uwu;;  
I still intend on finishing this, I was just busy with life, sorry for leaving you hanging for so long ówò

The first thing Quirrel noticed when he came back to was how much his hands were shaking and he hurriedly tangled them in the pockets of his jacket. The next best thing was that Tamer was in a rage fit and going off verbally and loudly so, while her girlfriend was hovering around her, trying to calm her down.  
Someone must have sat Quirrel down on the bench, and judging from the arm on his elbow it must have been the girl next to him, someone he had never really talked to before.  
“Are you okay?” She didn’t sound shocked, just worried and Quirrel could only look at her wide eyed. He should probably answer, but it was too noisy, too hectic and he still could barely breathe. The girl, Cloth, he remembered, let go of his arm.  
“It’s fine,” she said with a genuine smile. Was it though? He was stuck in a park and in such pathetic shape he doubted he could walk, close to tears again and Tiso-  
“Okay, we got it, you’re pissed!” Hornet’s voice cut through everything all of a sudden “You got the message across pretty well. Can you calm down for one minute now so we can help the guy out?”  
Quirrel’s head snapped up to look at them.  
Please, no. He was in no condition to be the center of anyone’s attention right now.  
Tamer dismissed him with a scoff. “He’s a friend of that clown, so what do I care.”  
The comment made Quirrel’s heart twinge for a second but still, he’d rather have it this way, than people prodding. He would be fine eventually. Like always.  
Hornet shook her head at Tamer. “You need to cool off. Tiso fucked up, sure, but from Quirrel’s reaction? I doubt he’s behind any of this. So don’t be unfair.”  
Quirrel retreated his head between his shoulders when Hornet walked over as the rest of the group clustered more around Tamer, murmuring.  
“Hey, you good?”  
Without thinking Quirrel nodded. “Yeah, I just need a moment. I’m just tired I guess.”  
Such a stupid, unrefined, blatant lie.  
He followed it up with a shrug and a half-baked smile and saw how Hornet and Cloth next to him exchanged glances.  
“Yeah, fine,” he heard Tamer say.  
She sounded not fine at all. She sounded angry and annoyed and very much so. So when she stepped into his field of vision, right in front of him, he stiffened.  
“I lost my cool, I admit it. I just can’t deal when people insult my girl like that.”  
Hornet let out a snort but her smile was genuine.  
“I’m alright,” Quirrel repeated. If he said it twice over once more, maybe it would become true.  
“It’s okay, really,” Cloth said, gently touching his shoulder and retreating just as quickly when Quirrel couldn’t help but flinch as soon as she raised her hand.  
Tamer let out a huff.  
“So what are you going to do now?” she asked.  
Quirrel had no idea. What would he do now? Go home? Tiso would possibly be waiting there and Quirrel was sure he could feel his lungs scrunch up at the mere thought of that.  
“Go home?” His voice was calm, much calmer than he thought himself capable.  
“You like him, right?”  
Quirrel’s chest grew tighter and he shrugged. “He’s my roommate.”  
Tamer shook her head with a dry laugh. “Come on man, you know exactly what I’m getting at.”  
Nothing in Quirrel’s posture changed other than the tears he was no longer able to hold back.  
“What am I gonna do?” he asked hoarsely.

Quirrel couldn’t remember when he last cried so much, let alone in front of others.  
It was amazing how good Hornet was at deescalating. After Quirrel had regained his composure they had sat in the park still for a while, discussing what to do.  
Numbers were exchanged as well as supportive words. Cloth was staying at the same dorms as Quirrel and immediately offered him a bed if things got too complicated.  
The group only disbanded after a few hours and that was when Quirrel noticed Tiso’s backpack. He really had left the place in a hurry, Quirrel thought. Then again he had had enough reason to. He grabbed his backpack since just leaving it would help no one.

Cloth dropped Quirrel off at his room, again reminding him that he could call whenever before leaving him to face whatever was waiting inside.  
Quirrel braced himself as he fumbled out his keys. He really didn’t want to knock and have Tiso open for him. If possible he would just like to ignore him for now. After what he had pulled it wouldn’t even be suspicious he imagined. So when he found the flat empty he sighed in relief, before his face scrunched up in thought.  
Where could Tiso have gone if not home? It took Quirrel some effort to stop thinking about the possibilities and worrying about whether he was okay or not. He shouldn’t.  
He placed Tiso’s backpack next to his bed and went to sit on his own.  
For a while he just sat there and stared at the opposite empty bed, very successfully not thinking about anything in particular.  
Until he remembered what Hornet had said, when they exchanged numbers.  
“Sometimes people like us need to stick together.”  
And then he remembered how drastic his reaction to Tiso’s behavior had been.  
Had he noticed? Maybe that was the reason why he wasn’t at home. Because he didn’t want to be in the same room as him. Because he didn’t want to share his room with a gross, disgusting-  
The ringing of his phone cut him off.  
His first thought went to Tiso immediately, so when he looked at his phone to see that it was his mom he was confused for a second. But then he picked up.

His mom didn’t even open with a proper greeting.  
“Okay, once I can excuse, but two weeks in a row? Something is wrong, and as your mother, I demand that you talk to me.”  
Quirrel closed his eyes. Right, Saturday, “calling mom” day.  
“Hey, mom,” he said and managed to put a little smile into it.  
“Are you crying?”  
And before he realized it, he was. He knew he could talk to his mom about anything.  
“I, Tiso… he…” His mother stayed silently on the line as Quirrel collected himself.  
“I think I outed myself and now Tiso hates me,”  
First his mother made only a hushing noise which calmed Quirrel fast enough.  
“It’s going to be fine, baby. Now tell me, exactly what happened? Did you finally talk to him?”  
Quirrel shook his head and when he remembered that she wouldn’t be able to see he said: “No. No, I couldn’t, I… There is this girl he was into…”  
And he told her everything. About Tamer, about Hornet, about the park, about what Tiso had said, about how he fell into panic, about the others helping him, about finding new friends and about sitting alone at his place not knowing where Tiso was.  
His mother only interrupted to ask questions twice and otherwise just listened in silence. When Quirrel was done she took another moment to think before she spoke up:  
“Oh, baby, no wonder you were off your game, my brave boy.”  
The tears having stopped a good while ago Quirrel replied with a dry sob. “I don’t know what to think… I’m scared I fucked up and now he knows and now he hates me and I don’t know what to do…”  
His mother sighed.  
“I don’t think it’s going to be as bad. From what you have told me just now, and before, I don’t believe he meant what he said. But you said that girl punched him? Well deserved if you ask me.”  
“Mom…”  
“Quirrel, he is a boy in love, and those do and say stupid things. You should know.”  
She had that cheeky tone to her voice Quirrel knew just too well and he couldn’t hold back a small chuckle.  
“I guess,” he said.  
“That girl broke his heart and he lashed out, and I bet my paycheck that that’s all there is to it.”  
Quirrel rubbed at his face. “Maybe…”  
“Was he ever showing homophobic signs before today?”  
Quirrel thought a good while and then shrugged. “I guess not,” he said eventually “But then again there weren’t many… opportunities?”  
“I’m going to go ahead and say that that’s all the proof I need. But in the worst case you have other friends to lean on and a home to come back to, you know that, right? It won’t be a problem for you to figure out by yourself.”  
Quirrel nodded.

His mother calling was probably the best thing that had happened to him so far today. They talked for a good while until Quirrel completely lost track of time and was caught up on every single detail in her life and vice versa.  
Once they decided to wrap it up Quirrel felt significantly better but also all of that improvement was immediately shattered when after they had hung up he noticed that during the call Tiso had tried to contact him, and even sent him a text.  
Quirrel swallowed. He remembered what his mom had said and wanted to believe all of it so badly. Yet he didn’t have the heart to even open Tiso’s text to read it. Maybe nothing would change. But if it did, it could only change to the worse.  
He let his phone carefully drop to the ground next to his bed and curled together.

He got woken up by the ringing of his phone and almost frantic knocking at the door.  
Trying to get his bearings he noticed the dark outside. He had no idea how late it was.  
He scooped up his phone quickly answering his own question: it was 11pm. And Tiso was calling him.  
It didn’t take him much longer to put one and two together and he got up to open the door.  
Tiso, who was standing in front of him looked horrible. Where Tamer had hit him had bruised visibly, his eyes were puffy and dark, and he reeked of alcohol.  
For a moment neither of them talked or moved, Quirrel just stared at him in bewilderment.  
“Are you drunk?” he asked and Tiso winced, but stayed silent.  
“…Tiso?”  
“Can I come in?”, he asked meekly and Quirrel was taken aback by the question.  
“What… you live here,” he said and Tiso gave him a hopeful look.  
“Yeah, but maybe you don’t want me around anymore.”  
His voice was so cold and flat, Quirrel could almost feel it.  
He stepped aside so Tiso could come in anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I ever establish that Monomon is Quirrel's monomom in this AU?  
Anyway, now I have xD;;;
> 
> Also dare I say, I find this chapter title really clever, bc there are quite some open doors; from Cloth to Quirrel figuratively, from Quirrel to Tiso literally, and Quirrel is finally peeking out of the closet he's been camping in woop woop!


	14. Misconceptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are a few misconceptions about various things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi, sorry for the longer silence!  
As expected, things got a bit stressful around the holidays, and then my pc refused to connect to the internet for a good while.  
I was tapping away at the story tho, so now that the issue has finally been fixed, here's an immediate update!  
Enjoy c:

Tiso moved to slip past Quirrel into the flat and his roomie mutely shut the door behind him. He’d need a shower. And something hot to drink. Maybe Quirrel would be willing to share some of his gross instant coffee. It would be better than nothing.  
“What in the world happened?” Quirrel asked as Tiso pulled his shoes off “You look like you got run over and you smell like- are you drunk?”  
Tiso huffed. “I wish,” he grunted as he kicked his second shoe away.  
“Are you sure? You smell like you took a bath in alcohol,” Quirrel said, skeptical. As always.  
Tiso sighed. “It was more of a shower, really. I was planning to get drunk.”  
The other having his arms crossed before, now let them flop down to his sides audibly. “Are you kidding me? You have one woman break your heart and you go to drink your troubles away? What are you, fifty years old?”  
Tiso glared at him. He already had made a horrible mistake today, he really didn’t need Quirrel to rub it in even more.  
“Okay, first of all, I can do what the fuck ever I want. And second of all,” he immediately continued when he saw Quirrel was already preparing for another scolding “It’s not like I wanted to drink to feel better. I wanted to drink until I fucking blackout, so at least I get to erase today from my memory.”  
Quirrel looked at him in utter disbelieve. “Are you out of your mind?”  
Tiso dismissively waved a hand at him. “Whatever, I really tried, but the stuff I got was super nasty. I had like two swigs before choking on that stuff, and getting it all over me.”  
Quirrel raised a brow and Tiso took off his hoodie, still clammy in the front from the spill, balled it up and tossed it onto the laundry pile before getting another, clean one.  
When he was done pulling the new one over his head and looked at Quirrel, he was taken aback by the twisted grin the other was looking at him with. “What?” he asked plainly, and Quirrel’s shoulders momentarily were shaken by a small chuckle.  
“You’re actually serious, holy hell, I can’t believe you…” he huffed, and stopped laughing “That’s not how blackouts work, you dumbass. Alcohol can fuck up your memory, sure, but it can’t delete memories in post, idiot.”  
Tiso groaned and flopped down on his bed. “Oh, fantastic, all that shit for nothing.”  
He took out his phone to check his replies, with Quirrel still standing awkwardly in front of the door, staring at him.  
“What are you looking at?” he asked brashly and Quirrel crossed his arms.  
“You don’t have anything to say for yourself? About what happened in the park?”  
Tiso bit his lip. Sure, he could fill an entire book with it, if he wanted to.  
“Just leave me be, Quirrel. Seriously, today was absolute ass and I just want to forget it happened. Just-“ Tiso stopped himself. If he didn’t want today to go even worse he needed to shut up for once or try a different approach. “Thanks for opening the door for me,” he said and Quirrel perked up, if mostly in confusion.  
“Why wouldn’t I?”  
Tiso shrugged. “Dunno, maybe you don’t want me here. You didn’t answer my calls after all.”  
Quirrel finally moved to sit on his own bed, picking up his phone as well.  
“I was having a call with my mom,” he said, a bit apologetically “Usually we call once every week but last time I skipped it, so this time around it had to be, y’know?”  
He didn’t. He and his parents barely talked at all.  
“And my texts? I really didn’t want to ring you out of bed but, you didn’t react to my texts either…”  
“I didn’t see them.”  
Tiso had trouble believing that. Having Quirrel not want to properly talk to him anymore was bad enough – but having him lie to him about it felt even worse.  
“Dude, look-“ Quirrel started but Tiso interrupted him: “No, I totally get it. I’ll shut up and try and sleep. You’ve had to deal with enough of my shit today as is.”  
For a few seconds Quirrel was quiet, but too soon spoke again: “You do know that this can be fixed, right?”  
Tiso looked at him with an unimpressed expression. “And how?”  
“Apologize,” he said plainly as if that would be the easiest thing in the whole world.  
Tiso snorted out a sarcastic laugh. “I really doubt that Tamer would let me anywhere near her,” he grumbled “She very clearly told me to fuck off via text and then blocked my number. And really, an understandable reaction, to be fair.”  
Tiso let his phone drop next to his bed and just started at the ceiling for a while before again, Quirrel talked.  
“But… you know what sports clubs she goes to. And where her friends meet up on the regular. You could just go and meet her-“  
“For her to tear my arms off? No thank you.”  
“Tiso.”  
“Just shut up,” he mumbled and turned to stare at the wall for a change.  
It was quiet for a little while.

“I’m going to go visit my mom tomorrow.”  
The statement was plain but a little out of the blue. Tiso should have known. Why would Quirrel want to hang out with him anyway?

Tiso had more than just trouble sleeping. Torn between what happened and what else could happen if word got around about what had happened in the park his thoughts just kept spiraling around the conclusion that his semi-good reputation would only be completely destroyed now.  
Quite a few times his thoughts circled all the way around to Quirrel, who he was sure was already sleeping soundly on the other side of the room, if his slow and steady breathing was any indicator.  
Quirrel had been there for him ever since they started college. At first they had moved in together out of necessity and aside from some differences they quickly learned to steer around, they got along pretty well immediately.  
There was no mistake about that he was the person Tiso actually felt closest to. Not only because they literally shared a room but also because Tiso felt like he could talk to Quirrel about anything.  
When they once somehow stumbled over the topics of plush toys Quirrel didn’t laugh at him once, not about the childish (if granted, he was a grub at the time) anecdotes, nor about his horrible naming skills, and the small crocheted Tiktik keychain he had gotten him for his next birthday came genuinely, not with mockery.  
And when his grades got worse and worse, he did only berate him a little, but then immediately offered his help. He made the effort to read into subjects he had nothing to do with just to be able to help him study.  
And now Tiso had about fucked up well enough that he was ignoring his calls, not answering his texts and planning on bailing from the outlook of having to spend the rest of the weekend with him at the same place.  
And for some reason, that felt worse. Having ruined his friendship with the kindest and smartest guy he had ever known made the fuck up with Tamer feel almost miniscule.  
Tamer had blocked him, and Tiso was sure she would beat the shit out of him if he tried to approach her anytime soon.  
But with Quirrel he could still try and fix things. It was that snippet of hope he clung onto, before finally falling asleep.

When he woke up the next morning, Quirrel was already gone. There was no note on the table, as he sometimes would leave, which made perfect sense since he had already told him yesterday that he would go visit his mother today. Still, it was hard to just shake the feeling of Quirrel just wanting to get away from him. Tiso never was the kind of guy to listen to his own reason. And he hated it.  
However, he was determined to get things sorted out, if only with Quirrel.  
Maybe he’d understand  
Maybe he’d still be his friend.  
And maybe he even knew how to help.


	15. Mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quirrel visits Monomon

Quirrel knew the connection of public transit to go see his mom long by heart, but it was still a relief to get off the train at the right station with her waiting there. It wasn’t a long walk to her place, but it was always nice to get to walk the way with together. Especially today.  
He pressed his face a little harder against her body when she hugged him, wrapped his arms around her a little tighter.  
For seconds she just returned the hug mutely, before raising one of her arms from his back to pat his head gently.  
“Hey, sweetie. It’s good to see you, even if it is on such short notice,” she just said and Quirrel nodded against her before letting go.  
“How are you doing?”  
For a moment he just stared at her, very sure that she could read about everything from just looking at him. To a certain degree it seemed to work, if her sympathetic sigh was any indicator.  
“Can we get home first before we talk?” he asked.  
“Of course, sweetie.”

Although Monomon was living by herself ever since Quirrel has left for college, she still had three seats ready in her kitchen at any time, and Quirrel was quick to take his usual one, pulling his phone out of his pocket to unceremoniously drop it on the table.  
Monomon immediately went to boil some water for tea and coffee - the good, ground kind, not the cheap instant stuff Quirrel grew so used to.  
As she worked away at the kitchen counter she said: “After our phone call yesterday you seemed fairly okay, so this is a little unexpected. Not unwelcome by any means, but unexpected all the same.”  
“I just need a day away, I think,” Quirrel mumbled, gently flicking at the small decorative plant on the table.  
“Is it because of Tiso?”  
“I don’t know,” Quirrel said, “Maybe. Yeah, probably.”  
Monomon proceeded to pour Quirrel a cup of coffee while her tea was still steeping on the counter.  
She sat across from him.  
“But remember-“  
Before Monomon could say anymore, Quirrel’s phone buzzed, lighting up.  
A call.   
First he froze up but a quick glance showed that it was just Cloth.  
Monomon just gestured politely for him to pick up the phone, so he did, but not without an apologetic smile.

“Morning Quirrel,” sounded Cloth’s voice and Quirrel mimicked the greeting.  
“I just wanted to check up on you real quick. Are you alright? Did you sleep okay?”  
Quirrel couldn’t help himself but smile.  
“Yeah, I’m alright, thank you. I’m visiting my mom right now, though, so…”  
“Oh, no problem at all, then Imma not bother you further! I’m glad to hear you’re okay. Remember to ring me if you need, okay?”  
“I will. Thank you.”  
“Well, talk to you soon then! Have a good one!”  
“You too.”  
Quirrel hung up and Monomon looked at him with an expression that just gave away that she was only just polite enough to not ask.  
“That was Cloth. One of Tamer’s friends, the one that walked me home yesterday.”  
Monomon nodded. “I remember. Sounds like she’s one of your friends now as well.”  
“I suppose so,” Quirrel smiled.  
“You know, I’ve said this plenty of times,” Monomon continued “but I always thought you should find and befriend more people from your scene!”  
Quirrel gave a short laugh. “I don’t even know if she’s queer, mom. Just because she hangs out with Tamer doesn’t mean she’s playing for the same team.”  
Reaching for her tea Monomon shrugged. “I’m just saying. You know, my good friend Herrah - I don’t know if you remember her - but she actually has a lesbian daughter, around your age, too! Maybe you two should talk some time.”  
“I’m not sure if that’d help, mom,” Quirrel sighed “I really don’t want to… talk to people, at least not about all… this. You’re okay of course, and Cloth and the rest, because now they know anyway, but… I’m just scared, okay?”  
“Are you scared of him?”  
“Tiso?” Quirrel gave that some thought. “No. Not yet, at least? I don’t know, I really did freak out at the park but I think he was too preoccupied to catch on to anything…”  
He gave the coffee a careful sip – and thankfully so; it was still way too hot to drink. He sat the cup back down and said: “But now I’m even more scared to come out…”  
“Understandable,” his mom agreed and took a sip of her tea “But remember what I’ve said.”  
“About him having said all that in the heat of the moment?” Quirrel moved his cup around, to make the black coffee swirl around in it a little, as if that’d cool it down more quickly. Monomon nodded and Quirrel sighed.  
“I don’t know, mom… Even if he didn’t mean it, he still said it and that kind of stuff doesn’t just come out of nowhere.”  
“I’m not denying that what he said was bad and terribly out of line. And I fully understand… Tamer was her name? Her reaction as well. But I really doubt Tiso wanted to insult her personally. It was more directed against the fact that she has a girlfriend already, nothing more. I’m sure.”  
Quirrel gave her a deadpan look. “And how is that? How can you be so sure about that?”  
“Quirrel, sweetie, I’ve met the guy, more than once. A little bit full of himself, and not the brightest, honestly speaking, but definitely not an asshole.”  
Quirrel smiled a little at the description; it was on point after all. Tiso did tend to piss people off from time to time, but hardly ever out of malicious intent. Usually it was due to his inability to read the air or taking hints. “Lucky me,” Quirrel thought to himself.  
“And besides,” Monomon continued “He did not stop pursuing Tamer after he learned about her having a girlfriend, right?”  
“Hell no…” Quirrel mumbled “He… he didn’t seem disgusted or anything back then, just…” Quirrel winced. “Very down about Tamer being in a relationship already.”  
Quirrel’s phone buzzed and lit up again, just once this time.  
“My, you’re popular,” Monomon joked as Quirrel checked his phone; maybe it was a text from Cloth. He shrunk a little in his seat when he saw that it wasn’t.  
“Tiso…” he mumbled and Monomon perked up.  
“Oh?” What’s he saying?”  
Quirrel shot his mom a disapproving glare but then said: “If I need anything from 7/11 and to tell you hi.” He put his phone back down. “So, “hi”.”  
“See?” Monomon said, as if this were the most definitive proof Tiso could have provided “Not an asshole. Tell him hi back! If you want to reply, that is.”  
Quirrel mumbled something he didn’t even understand himself and typed out that no, he didn’t need anything and his mom said hi back.  
Monomon just smiled.

“Thinking back to all the crazy things you have told me of Tiso, this whole ordeal does strike me as comparably mild, objectively speaking. Of course I understand how much more personal all of this is, but your friendship has already suffered a good few blows and was barely harmed by it, if at all.”  
Quirrel sipped away at his coffee, a fail proof way to avoid interrupting her with something not well thought-out.  
“And maybe this is actually a good opportunity, to come out to him.”  
Quirrel almost choked on his drink.  
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. You don’t need to tell him that you like him. Maybe once he knows that you’re gay he might even be sharp enough to figure that out himself.”  
“Amazing idea,” Quirrel grumbled, quickly followed by the buzz of his phone.  
His heart sank a little when he saw that it was another text from Tiso.  
Monomon gestured at him to go ahead and check it, as she continued drinking her tea.  
Quirrel opened the text that read: “hey maybe a stupid question but r u planning on coming back home today? i know I fucked things up pretty bad but ure the best friend i have and maybe the only one and i really want to talk about things”  
Quirrel let out a heavy sigh and his mom smiled at him.  
“Whatever you do, sweetie, don’t let it fester.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooohhh the plans I have........


	16. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso hasn't lost all hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh snap, that's a quick update!  
:0
> 
> I actually had this chapter done when I had uploaded the last one, but I didn't want to put this up as early so I waited some, and then lost my patience so here it is anyway xD

16 Tiso had been itching to send Quirrel another text or even call him the entire time as the day went on. At the same time he had absolutely no agency to go do anything. Early afternoon had been well over when he finally picked himself up to at least check if he had any open homework for upcoming classes.  
He spent a few minutes brooding over a math problem he just couldn’t wrap his head around, gave up way too quickly and decided it was time to microwave the food he had picked up at the store earlier.  
He spent the rest of the day browsing the internet and spreading the crumbs of the pizza rolls on his bed. As the evening hours drew closer Tiso grew more and more antsy and kept checking the reply from Quirrel again and again, making sure he hadn’t misread it.

“Of course I’ll come home, we have class tomorrow. Let’s talk then.”

Sure, it didn’t sound happy, but it also didn’t sound annoyed. That’s what he thought and hoped at least. After all, it was more than no reply at all, so he allowed himself a little optimism.  
But the more time passed, the more worried he got that Quirrel had maybe changed his mind.  
It wouldn’t be the first time he would spend the night back at his mom’s place only to show back up on Monday, sitting in the grandstands waiting for Tiso to be done with basketball, usually with a book or homework. Or at home already.

Tiso already had somewhat accepted that he’d not get to talk to him before tomorrow evening, so he almost jumped when he heard the sound of keys being fumbled against the door from outside.  
When Quirrel opened the door and came in he looked at Tiso, somewhat surprised.  
“You’re still up,” he commented, almost sounding like a question.  
So he did try to avoid him.  
“How late is it?” Tiso asked; he had completely lost track of time.  
“Almost 1am.” Quirrel took off his shoes and hung up his jacket, together with his backpack.  
Tiso watched him, a little bewildered that he had actually managed to spend the entire day just sitting around doing nothing.  
“How did you get back? Doesn’t the last train run at like 11?”  
Quirrel wriggled out of his sweater and sat on his bed. “Oh. Well, I left my mom’s place sometime in the afternoon already. I went to see-“ Quirrel stopped for only a second and then said: “I met up with another friend.”  
He REALLY did try to avoid him.  
But he was here now, so this was his chance to get things at least somewhat fixed.  
“So, uh… can we talk?”  
The other didn’t look him in the eye for a painful moment but then turned towards him and nodded blankly.  
For a second Tiso stared at his own knees, rubbing his hands nervously. How should he put this?  
“How should I put this?” he asked.  
Quirrel shrugged. “Depends on where you wanna go. Why do you wanna talk, what do you want to accomplish?”  
That was a simple enough question if a little weird to put into words.  
“I… I don’t want you to think that I’m some… homophobic asshole,” he said eventually. That sounded a lot less desperate than “I don’t want to lose you as a friend” or anything along those lines.  
Quirrel just stared back at him with some level of expectation.  
“Look,” Tiso spoke back up “What happened at the park, yesterday… The shit I’ve said. It was super uncool and with Tamer not wanting to talk to me I probably still got better than I deserve.”  
Quirrel’s expression did not change which was mildly intimidating.  
“I mean, I am not wrong, am I? I did sound like the biggest ass. The whole idea was terrible.”  
Quirrel let out a sigh at that and a small sound of confirmation.  
Tiso quickly continued: “I really didn’t mean what I’ve said and I’ve probably fucked up for good with Tamer and the entire gang but… I mean, Tamer can hold hands with whoever she wants, I just wanted it to be me, you know?”  
Quirrel’s expression shifted, but Tiso was determined to not let him get a word in until he was done.  
“So I was just angry and fuck and now my life is fucking over because everyone thinks I’m some asshole.”  
It was Quirrel’s laugh that interrupted him. Tiso glared at him in disbelief and Quirrel was quick to cover his lower face with both hands, still chuckling.  
“Yeah, real funny, Quirrel, thanks,” Tiso grumbled and Quirrel flailed his hands.  
“No, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at you, but… holy shit, that entire episode was about the dumbest shit you’ve ever pulled. For real.”  
“I KNOW!” Tiso threw his hands up. “I know and I really want to fix it!! I’ll get over Tamer,” he hoped. “I don’t even hope to be friends or anything,” he lied. “I just don’t want her to think I’m a douchebag.”  
“Well,” Quirrel said, getting more comfortable on his bed “I’d call step one a success already.”  
“And what would that be?”  
“Realizing that you’re an asshole. Or rather acted like one. Good that you know that.”  
Tiso shot him another glare. Of course he was right, but way to rub it in.  
“And now that you realize,” Quirrel continued “You should apologize.”  
Tiso pulled his knees up to his chin.  
“I know… But that’s the problem… I have no idea how. Or when, even.”  
“I suggest as soon as possible,” Quirrel offered, “Sure, one might think it would be smarter to let the topic cool for a bit but I think it’s more important to signal that this isn’t a matter that can wait.”  
It made sense, really. But still: “She did block my number though.”  
“But she is in about every sports club, right? Basketball, baseball, trek?”  
“All of those,” Tiso confirmed “And I’m pretty sure baseball should be tomorrow.”  
“Perfect,” Quirrel said “You can’t play baseball without a field.”  
Tiso groaned: “She is absolutely going to kill me!”  
Quirrel waved him off. “It’s hardly gonna be worse than what happened yesterday,” he said “We go meet her at the baseball field, you admit to your fuckup and whatever happens next, happens.”  
“We?” Tiso perked up. Was Quirrel really offering to come with again, after the hell day Tiso had just dragged him though? “Don’t you think you’ve dealt with enough of my shit yet?”  
Quirrel snorted and got up again to get ready for bed.  
“Someone’s gotta make sure you don’t screw yourself over again,” he grinned and Tiso gave a thankful smile in response.  
“But for now we should get ready for bed; we both have class early tomorrow.”  
“Shit, you’re right.” Tiso climbed out of bed to collect what he would need to change.  
Tiso threw his pajamas on in enough of a rush to have Quirrel beaten to bed by a long shot.  
He watched him intently as he pulled a loose shirt over his head and slipped under his blanket.  
“You mean it?” Tiso asked again, just to make sure “You’re really gonna come with?”  
“We’re friends, right?” Quirrel just replied in return and Tiso nodded, with the widest smile of his on this entire weekend.  
“Sure are. Goodnight.”


	17. Cooler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso apologizes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, I havent updated for a longer while, I was just too busy with other things :'D  
But I've come too far to abandon this!!

More often than not Quirrel did not particularly like waking up on a Monday. It wasn’t the prospect of college that put him off but solely his masterful ability to scramble his entire sleep schedule over just one weekend and then having to fall back into a more normal, regular rhythm come Monday.  
When his alarm went off what felt hours too early he only begrudgingly blinked his eyes open with a groan and turned it off.  
After staring blankly at the ceiling for a few moments and sorting his thoughts while he woke up properly, he gave himself a push to swing his legs out of bed, forcing himself to sit up.  
He looked at Tiso on the other side of the room. He had soundly slept through Quirrel’s alarm as usual, one leg uncovered and head buried in the pillow.  
With a sigh Quirrel got up and walked over to him to wake him. He wondered if he’d have similar problems getting out of bed if he wouldn’t get to wake Tiso.  
Before he could feel creepy for just watching him sleep he gave Tiso’s blanket a firm tug, not enough to pull it off but enough to jostle him and he groaned.  
“Come on, dude,” Quirrel said “Get up, we should formulate a plan.”  
Tiso grumbled something incoherently but started moving while Quirrel picked out a sweater for the day. By the time he’d made his choice Tiso had kicked the blanket off and stretched.  
“Awake enough?” Quirrel asked as Tiso let out a hearty yawn.  
“Awake enough,” he confirmed, eyes half closed still.  
“Amazing. Imma go occupy the bath now.”  
Tiso just gave a thumbs up and yawned again.

“You haven’t forgotten what we wanted to go do today, have you?” Quirrel asked as he slathered some jelly on a mildly burnt slice of toast, which was already more than he usually did for lunch.  
“Of course not,” Tiso mumbled, his mouth half full of cereal “Go see Tamer, apologize, have ribs removed-“  
“Alright, Dr. Drama.” Quirrel tossed the bag with the sandwich into his backpack. “Wanna meet up at the back gate after 7th period? We should maybe brainstorm a little on what to say.” He shot Tiso a glare “And what not to say.”  
Tiso pulled a face that showed clearly that he did not like the idea but at the same time knew Quirrel was right.  
“I also need to let the coach know that I won’t be coming to basketball practice today,” he said “I just hope he doesn’t take it personally that I ditch athletics first and now basketball, too.”  
He went to rinse out the bowl he had used and left it in the sink.  
“I bet he doesn’t mind,” Quirrel said “It’s not permanently after all.”  
Tiso grumbled a confirmation before they left the flat.

The day was going by refreshingly uneventful until Quirrel decided to spend his free period at the library. It was a pleasant surprise to run into Cloth on his way. She was quick to greet him with a smile and a hug.  
“You look well rested enough,” she said “Everything still cool?”  
Quirrel nodded and readjusted his backpack. “Super cool,” he replied and meant it. “Thank you again for yesterday. I don’t know how well I would have handled going home immediately.”  
“Don’t mention it,” Cloth waved him off “I told you to hit me up if you needed someone to talk to. That’s what friends are for and all that, y’know?”  
Quirrel smiled at her. It was truly amazing how well they immediately had gotten along. She had managed to anchor him well enough when everything went to shit in the park, they had found a lot of mutual interests just talking while they walked to the dorms the same day, and then yesterday, welcoming him in and keeping him company until it got way late, just distracting him with small talk and tea. They really had become fast friends. Quirrel did appreciate his mom, but having someone his age to talk about your issues was truly something completely different.  
“Still, we just got to know each other and I don’t mean to drop all of my emotional garbage on you.”  
“Oh, it’s quite alright, Quirrel. I wouldn’t offer my time if I didn’t have it, and my offer stands. If things get too tense with Tiso, you’re always welcome to stay over at my place.”  
Quirrel just nodded at that. He did appreciate the offer but was absolutely sure he would never take her up on that. If things would ever go bad enough for him to not sleep at home anymore he would go sleep at his mom’s place before anything.  
“Speak of the devil…” Cloth mumbled before Quirrel could say anything and he turned around to where Cloth was looking only to see Tiso coming towards them.  
Tiso raised a hand in greeting and Quirrel smiled at him as if he hadn’t been a topic just now.  
“Hey, dude,” Tiso said and glanced over at Cloth “And dudette.”  
Cloth snorted a laugh but Quirrel immediately saw how her expression turned a lot more insincere than mere moments ago.  
Tiso did not seem to notice or care for that matter and turned towards him.  
“Can I borrow you for a sec?”  
Quirrel shrugged at Cloth who just replied with an offering gesture and he and Tiso stepped away a little.  
Tiso’s voice was a little hushed when he said: “Can you help me with math?”  
Quirrel almost snorted out a laugh. “I always do, why are you even asking?”  
“We started a new segment and I kinda forgot to do my homework this weekend and I am super lost, do you think after school we…”  
Quirrel raised both hands. “Dude, stop. If you want to weasel out of the plans we had with Tamer today, I swear…”  
“No!” Tiso immediately said “...can we though?”  
Quirrel groaned and Cloth looked at the two questioningly. “What’s up?”  
Quirrel clapped a hand on Tiso’s shoulder who had also turned towards her.  
“Tiso needs to go see Tamer today to apologize for what happened this weekend.”  
Cloth crossed her arms. “No shit. Good luck with that.” It didn’t sound too earnest but her posture grew a bit more leisurely. “You want to grab her at baseball or what?”  
“That was the plan, yeah,” Tiso sighed, burying his hands in his hoodie’s pocket.  
Cloth nodded. “You better catch her around 5:30 then, when training is being wrapped up. If you’re lucky she is tired enough for you to actually outrun her,” she said, flashing him a mean grin and Tiso shrunk mildly, while Quirrel laughed.  
“Come on, she’s not gonna kill you. But she was super pissed, so you better pick your words carefully.”  
“She’s still mad at me?” Tiso asked and Cloth only responded with a wordless stare.  
“We’re gonna try and fix it,” Quirrel said, patting Tiso’s shoulder “And maybe after that we gonna take a look at math together.”  
“Ah, so you’ll be busy babysitting all day?”  
Tiso glared at Cloth and Quirrel couldn’t suppress a chuckle. “Looks like it.”  
Tiso let out a groan. “Okay, fine, I get I’m not welcome. See you after school then and don’t forget to eat!”  
Before Quirrel could say anymore Tiso had turned and left, leaving him and Cloth staring a bit baffled.  
“Did that touch a nerve?” she asked, sounding a little sorry.  
Quirrel furrowed his brow. “I don’t know. He’s not that touchy usually. Guess he’s still a bit sensitive after the whole fiasco that went down on Saturday.”  
Cloth nodded.  
“Man, I kinda wanna see how him trying to apologize is gonna go, but I got to go work after college.”  
“I will give you a detailed run down afterwards,” Quirrel assured her.

Tiso was beyond fidgety.  
He kept checking his phone for no reason, pulled at his hoodie’s drawstrings for no reason, readjusted the hood for no reason and looked at his phone again for no reason.  
“Can you stop squirming for maybe two minutes?” Quirrel sighed “Seriously, you’re getting me nervous and I’m supposed to be the support here.”  
“Sorry.” Tiso put his phone away only to pull it back out moments after to look at the time again.  
They were waiting in some distance while baseball practice was still running for a good few more minutes according to the schedule.  
Quirrel had tried to calm Tiso’s nerves a little because as soon as they saw Tamer Tiso’s nervousness had briefly flipped to actual fear.  
Once, that Quirrel had established that no, she was not armed, it’s just a baseball bat, get your shit together, Tiso had calmed a little but was still a jittery mess to the point of almost tumbling. Quirrel was so busy with keeping Tiso somewhat calm that he too jolted when seemingly out of nowhere Hornet spoke up.  
“Hey, Quirrel! …and cohort.”  
At first both guys just stared at her until Tiso coughed out a nervous laugh.  
“Hello, Hornet,” Quirrel said “What are you doing here?”  
Hornet crossed her arms. “Well, I wanted to pick up Tamer. Y’know? My girlfriend?” She shot Tiso a cold glare as she said that and Quirrel jabbed him with his elbow, gesturing towards the girl in front of them with no subtlety whatsoever.  
If he wanted to apologize to Tamer and Hornet was also here, he might as well started with her. After all she deserved an apology just as much. And luckily, his hints were enough for Tiso to catch on.  
Swallowing his pride he turned towards her.  
“Hornet? I guess I fucked up pretty bad the other day.”  
She stood there, arms still crossed and looking at him expectantly.  
When she didn’t say anything he continued: “I’m here because I wanted to catch Tamer and apologize but I suppose I owe you an apology too, so…”  
Hornet huffed. “Pretty presumptuous of you to think you made that kind of impact.”  
Tiso and Quirrel both looked at her a bit puzzled.  
“Tamer doesn’t really give two shits about what you said about her. She gets over stuff pretty easily. She was mostly miffed because you also insulted me and first and foremost our relationship.”  
“I know,” Tiso sighed “And I’m really sorry. I was just angry for stupid reasons and I… I need to cross some things out of my vocabulary.”  
That seemed to be the right thing to say as Hornet’s posture relaxed a little.  
“Is there a way I can maybe somehow make it up to you?”  
Hornet didn’t get a chance to answer before they heard Tamer yell at them from afar, briskly walking towards them, bat still in hand. “Oy, asshole, get away from my girl!”  
Tiso flinched away, faced with exactly what he was scared of but Hornet turned towards Tamer, both hands raised. “Whoa, calm down Tamer, no one is touching “your girl”! Chill out!”  
Tamer’s steps slowed only slightly and she only fully lowered the bat once she stood next to Hornet, shoulders squared.  
“He came to say sorry, give him a break,” Hornet huffed and Tamer stared daggers at him.  
“Oh really?”  
“He actually just apologized to me, too.”  
Tamer’s face scrunched up as she looked at Tiso and it was striking how small he looked standing like that in front of her. He had almost completely lost his usual posture, shoulders hunched and hands fidgety.  
“Yeah, sorry, I… already told Hornet. I’ve said shit I shouldn’t have said and I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t mean to insult you. Or Hornet. I was just angry because-“  
Tamer cut him off by raising one hand. “I don’t wanna hear it. You’re sorry? Great. That’s pretty much all I need to hear.”  
Tiso let out a sigh of relief.  
“However,” she continued “Don’t think that this means we’re cool. We’re not cool. We’re just cool-er.”  
Tiso nodded with a weak smile and Quirrel nodded, pretty satisfied, which Tamer acknowledged with a short nod of her own.  
“Good enough for you?” Tamer asked and Tiso was quick to nod mutely.  
“Good enough,” he said sounding a little hoarse.  
Without another word and just one more small nod Tamer took Hornet’s hand and led her away.  
Quirrel put his hand on Tiso’s shoulder.  
“I think that went pretty well,” he said and felt Tiso’s shoulders rise and fall as he let out a sigh.  
“I think so, too. Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this the first arc is over of sorts. :D  
Does a story need arcs?  
Not necessarily.  
Do I have plans where to go with this now?  
Yes.  
Gods, yes.
> 
> Thank you all for the support this far, I didn't think more than 3 people would even care :'D


	18. Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Math is a topic, but more so is Cloth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand we're rolling!

Coming back home felt weird.  
Tiso felt like a huge weight had been lifted, but at the same time it didn’t really feel as if he’d resolved anything. He had managed to apologize. But the core problem still stood, being Tamer still hating him.  
He had really messed up. If he wouldn’t have crushed on her, he never would have screwed things up this bad. They had a lot in common and Tiso was sure they could have been great friends.  
It wasn’t only that, but apparently Quirrel had bonded with Tamer and her friends over him behaving like an absolute asshole. He glanced at him as he took off his jacket and hung it up.  
Quirrel had always been the sociable type, but it was almost insulting how well he immediately got along with Cloth in particular. And Hornet and Tamer herself seemed to be very cool with him as well.  
Tiso must have unknowingly pulled a face from the look Quirrel was giving him now.  
“Hey, you good?” he asked sounding somewhat worried.  
Tiso blinked his current expression away. “Yeah, I’m just thinking about stuff,” he said, flopping down on his bed so he could take off his shoes.  
Quirrel opened up his backpack to take out his laptop and notepad. “You did pretty well though, I think.”  
Tiso pulled his legs up onto the bed and rested his chin on his knees. “I guess so,” he mumbled “But I think I’ve just hoped for more, y’know?”  
Quirrel hooked his Laptop up with its charger and turned it on. “Like going back to being friends and casually hanging out?” he asked “Maybe, if you give it more time. For now I’d say you did all you could. Now don’t undo it all by pushing yourself on them.”  
“Right,” Tiso mumbled.  
“So, do you think you have the mind to take a look at math now or do you need a break first?”  
Tiso groaned. He had already forgotten all about math. “I really need a break, dude. And also some food. I was too worked up in college, so I skipped lunch and went to find you instead…” His expression grew slightly darker when he remembered running into Quirrel and Cloth. How disapproving she sounded when he had asked Quirrel for help.  
“Let’s order a pizza then,” Quirrel suggested before Tiso’s thoughts derail more. What good would Cloth’s approval do him anyway?

While they waited on the pizza they watched compilation videos on the internet; a good timewaster without requiring any investment whatsoever.  
Once their food arrived they let the website’s algorithm take the wheel while they ate, until they were led to a sports fail compilation and after the second very painful looking accident Quirrel put them back into a playlist of world records.  
The content was so banal and boring that Tiso’s mind started wandering again. To how Quirrel had avoided coming home yesterday.  
To how very familiar him and Cloth were acting when he had run into them today.  
“You and Cloth seem to get along really well,” he said.  
Quirrel looked at him, a little confused, but then just nodded.  
“Was it her you were hanging out with yesterday?”  
Quirrel furrowed his brow at the question and Tiso bit his tongue. What was wrong with him? What did he care with whom Quirrel spent his time?   
“Yeah, is that a problem?” he asked.  
“Of course not,” Tiso said. And really it wasn’t. It was just that Quirrel was pretty much the only person he would hang out with. Sure, Tiso knew and got along with lots of people. But how many of those could he actually call friends? They were buddies, at best, and probably not even that. If Quirrel found a new best friend in Cloth, he would be screwed. And what if they were into each other? What if they ended up as a couple? If Quirrel got a girlfriend there was no way he’d keep spending his Weekends at home with Tiso. Maybe he’d even move out.  
Tiso was gnawing at the last piece of crust and Quirrel just looked at him, as if he was a riddle to solve.  
“Do you like her?” Tiso asked once he was done chewing and Quirrel’s expression turned even more confused.  
“Yes, of course? I wouldn’t be hanging out with her otherwise,” he answered “She’s really sweet; I bet you two would get along great as well.”  
“That’s not how I meant it.” Tiso got up and grabbed Quirrel’s empty pizza box as well to put into the bag for waste paper.  
First Quirrel seemed to be at a loss as to what Tiso meant, but then a nervous laugh bubbled out of him. “Oh, like that? No. God no, she’s super nice but really not my type. Like… at all…”  
Tiso looked at him with skepticism. The way Quirrel talked this was super hard to believe.  
“How about we look at your math issue now?” Quirrel asked, picking crumbs off his lap.  
Tiso crossed his arms. “You are changing the subject,” he said and a mean grin spread across his face “You do like her, right?”  
Quirrel got up to grab his notepad. “As a friend, yes. We wanted to do math,”  
“Ah! You’re changing the subject!”  
“You’re the one who asked for help. Now get your stuff.”  
“Come on, Quirrel, you never told me about any girls you are into!” he said as he dug out his math book.  
The other rolled his eyes and flopped down on his bed.  
“Tiso, I swear. You wanted me to help you with math, so get your stuff and sit.”  
“I told you about Tamer, you pretty much owe me!”  
“How do I owe you? That makes no sense!”  
Tiso took his math book and grabbed something to write before sitting down next to Quirrel.  
“All I’m asking is a name!” he said and pushed Quirrel with his elbow “Come oooon, spill it!”  
“I’m having second thoughts about helping you,” Quirrel said with a warning tone, but Tiso saw the mild blush tinging his face. He laughed.  
“Okay, fine then, keep your secrets.”  
Quirrel huffed at him and opened his notepad.  
“So, what are you having trouble with?”

It took them a bit to dial back far enough to find where exactly Tiso had lost track, but once they did he had barely any trouble understanding the rest. It took Tiso some time to talk Quirrel out of looking up more practice tasks and just call it a day, but eventually he closed his notepad with a sense of finality.  
“So!” Tiso said and turned towards him “Time to talk, dude. If you’re really not into Cloth, who are you into?”  
Quirrel threw his hands up. “Again with this? What’s your deal? I’m not into Cloth, and if I were, I definitely wouldn’t be telling you!”  
“And why not?” Tiso pouted.  
“Because you don’t know and you already are unbearable!”  
Tiso could observe the blush from before crawl back on Quirrel’s face and he grinned at him.  
“Come on, talk!” he said and playfully jabbed Quirrel’s arm.  
“Bite me!”  
“Will you talk if I do?”  
“Okay, FINE!” Quirrel yelled and pushed Tiso away “But then you’re gonna drop it!”  
Tiso nodded, absolutely sure that there was no way he would be able to drop it.  
“Marissa.”  
First Tiso blinked in confusion. Then in disbelief. And then he pulled a grimace.  
“Marissa? The theater prez?” Just from how he said it, it was absolutely clear that Tiso didn’t believe it.  
“You know her?”  
“Everybody knows her, Quirrel, and we have talked about her sometime before, you yourself called her talented but vapid.”  
“Did I really say that?”  
“Yes!” Tiso crossed his arms. “I’m not sure if Cloth is your type or not, but I do know you well enough to know that she definitely isn’t your type. Liar.”  
“Take it as you will.”  
Tiso grumbled. “I still think it’s super obvious that you’re into Cloth.”  
“Well, you’re wrong,” Quirrel said and got up to grab his laptop.  
Tiso let out a sigh. He still wanted to prod further but was also sure that if he kept this up Quirrel would get actually upset with him. So maybe dropping it was the right thing to do.  
For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this far! ;w;
> 
> Feedback is much appreciated! ^0^


	19. Study buddies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quirrel runs into Cloth again and they decide studying together is a good idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, I've spent the past days completely planning out the story chapter by chapter which is why you might be shocked (or happy??) to see that I am planning on wrapping this fic up at chapter 60. Not around 60, exactly at 60.
> 
> There might be some small spinoffs, but holy heck, this is the biggest writing project I have had in the works so far and I really hope I won't lose my drive QwQ  
While I am of course writing this for myself, every snippit of feedback I get is immensely helpful and super motivating!!
> 
> Finishing this is going to take a while, but as of now I am determined!! And I really hope it stayes that way. uwu
> 
> Again many thanks to mirrordragon for proofreading! ^0^

It was nice getting up on Tuesdays. Quirrel and Tiso had chemistry together in the first period, so they did not have to part ways right after entering college. And Quirrel enjoyed chemistry with Tiso anyway, since it was oddly pleasant to just sit next to each other with Tiso being silent for longer than in any other situation.  
Tiso seemed focused most of the time, but Quirrel knew him well enough to know that his mind was probably completely elsewhere, wherever that was. Tiso could hardly ever hold his concentration through the entire lecture, and him silently hissing “Shit,” when the professor moved on to the next slide was a dead giveaway that he had been spacing out again. In moments like that Quirrel would wordlessly tear the current page from his writing pad , mark the essential parts and slide it over to him.  
Giving him his notes was apparently a good method – he never asked for more help in post, like he did with math. And the whispered “Thank you” was already always worth it anyways.

After chemistry he had to head over to history, which was his favorite and in his opinion always over too quickly. Quirrel was glad that Tiso never really saw him during history. He already had given him a weird look when he first had seen him look up playful math videos on the internet for fun. He did not need to see him stopping and holding up his history professor after the lecture for additional banter.  
Or see him heading to the library instead of the cafeteria to bury himself in homework, notes and books. History always gave him enough food for new questions to fill the entire lunchbreak to research. So it was no wonder he did not have the mind to notice Cloth approaching him until she sat across from him.  
“Hey, Quirrel!” she said quietly and he looked up to smile at her.  
“Yo! You around here on the regular, huh?”  
Cloth nodded and took some college stuff out of her bag to place on the table.  
“You don’t mind me joining you, do you?”  
Quirrel waved his hand dismissively. “Of course not,” he said and took out his phone to take a picture of the open book to then close it and grab another.  
Cloth quietly started working on her own things, homework probably. They didn’t talk and just studied in silence although Quirrel’s mind wandered to what Tiso had said yesterday. How it was obvious that he was crushing on Cloth. Maybe, if he were into girls it would not be that farfetched. They got along incredibly well and he was more than just grateful to have found such a good friend in her this quickly. Someone he did not have to hide from. Hanging out with Cloth in private was just the best way to unwind. Quirrel loved hanging out with Tiso for obvious reasons, but it was also somewhat taxing for the very same reasons. And since they already spent so much time together because they shared a room, meeting up with Cloth was a nice get away.  
“Want to meet up after school to study together?” Quirrel asked as he bookmarked another page. Although it was a bigger one, he was going to take this book home. “Tiso is going to be busy with soccer practice until 5 anyway.”  
“Sorry, I can’t,” she said “I’m working after college. But I’m pretty much free tomorrow! If you want we can meet around 3?”  
Quirrel lit up. “Sounds good!”

After a while Quirrel’s phone buzzed to notify him he had to get going to not be late for his next lecture and they parted with a quick hug.  
“Tell Tiso hi from me,” she said before Quirrel left “I have to give him credit for apologizing to Tamer and Hornet.”  
“Oh, word already got around?” Quirrel asked and packed his things.  
“Well, more or less, I mean I met up with the girls yesterday evening and they told me what happened. Pretty solid, I must say. Didn’t expect him to be the kind of guy to swallow his pride like that.”  
Quirrel just nodded at that. He did not expect him to listen to his advice that promptly either.

When Tiso got home Quirrel was already done with his homework and heating up some water for instant noodles.  
He dropped his sports bag on his bed and pulled out some stuff he immediately tossed into the laundry bin.  
“Yo,” he said, sounding appropriately exhausted.  
“Hey” Quirrel replied dumping the ingredients into a bowl “How was practice?”  
“It was okay,” he shrugged “Do you need to use the bathroom? If not, Imma take a quick shower now.”  
“Yeah, go ahead, I was planning on eating, so take your time.”  
Tiso looked at the block of dry instant noodles awkwardly sticking out of the bowl. “Did you eat anything besides that today or did you skip lunch again?” he asked and Quirrel huffed.  
“Yeah, I went to the library instead. That reminds me, Cloth said hi.”  
Tiso stuck his head out of the bathroom. “You met her again?”  
“We ran into each other at the library. But we plan to hang out tomorrow to study some after college.”  
Tiso just stared at him wordlessly and Quirrel rolled his eyes.  
“Don’t even start, dude,” he said warningly and Tiso raised both hands in defense.  
“I’m not saying anything! I’m… do you think she would be cool with me as well?”  
Quirrel looked at him, a little confused. “You want to join in? I mean, I can ask,” he said “But we’re really just gonna study, there wasn’t anything else planned.”  
“If she doesn’t want me around that’s fair I guess,” Tiso added “Also I don’t want to be third wheeling anyway, so-“  
“Oh Tiso, can you stop?” Quirrel asked annoyed, but not without a laugh.  
Tiso snickered: “I’m just saying.”  
“Imma ask her,” Quirrel said and picked up his phone.

Quirrel was actually hungry enough to be done with his noodles before Tiso finished showering. Maybe skipping lunch was a habit he needed to break…  
And eating lunch with Tiso on a more regular basis was also not the worst thing…  
Quirrel was in the middle of a compilation video when he got a reply from Cloth. He tapped the icon to read the message.

“Sorry I was at work until now asgfafgaigeghadgadgasf  
If he wants to he can join I don’t mind  
He knows were just gonna study tho right??”

Quirrel replied with quick fingers:

“Yeah, I told him  
I don’t know, he is super sure that I’m flirting with you, I just hope he doesn’t try anything weird, that would be so awkward I might actually die hhhhhh”

“Oh my god, really asfihagisufgahe I’m crying no way  
No offense but you have to come out srsly aasdlgkjdafergsdrgggege”

Quirrel decided to just reply with a wall of crying emojis to that and backed out of the texting app when Tiso came back out of the bathroom.  
“Cloth said yes,” Quirrel just said, focusing hard on putting the compilation video back on.  
“Oh, nice. I really didn’t think she’d be okay with that.”  
“It’s not a date,” Quirrel groaned and Tiso flopped onto his bed, laughing and put on his sleeping shirt.  
“Are you absolutely sure? You’re being awfully defensive about it… But that’s not even what I meant. I mean because I fucked up with Tamer so badly… I wouldn’t be surprised if no one who has been there would ever want to talk to me again.”  
Quirrel looked at him in contemplation. To think that even after apologizing this was eating him so much was not exactly the best side effect.  
“You did apologize, so there is not much more to worry about. I don’t think you can fix this any more than you already did.”  
Tiso gnawed at his lower lip.  
“Maybe…” he mumbled “I just want Tamer and me to be cool again… And Hornet didn’t really seem satisfied either…”  
Quirrel sighed. “Either way, you shouldn’t be losing any more sleep over this, dude.”  
“I won’t, don’t worry.”  
And he didn’t. Tiso fell asleep without any trouble tonight. Hopefully it would stay that way. Quirrel would hate to see him that miserable again.


	20. Math

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso is terrible at accepting help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I just wrote about 1,5k words about some bugs doing math, what about it??  
Don't worry, the math is mostly non-graphic.....

Entering Cloth’s flat was strange and unfamiliar. Tiso had absolutely no idea what to expect. Cloth was a girl, but he wouldn’t categorize her as typically feminine so he didn’t think her place would be overly tidy, or decorated, or whatever girls did to pep up their living space.   
Since her flat had the exact same layout as Tiso’s and Quirrel’s, the furnishing was quite similar as well, with the difference of there being just one bed and that about every surface had at least one action figure standing on it, each bent into dynamic configurations.  
Quirrel placed his bag under the table with some habit and opened it to take out stuff to write.  
Tiso meanwhile walked up to a cluster of the figures placed on a drawer to eye them more closely. Some of the characters he recognized from wrestling.  
“You collect those?” he asked and Cloth looked up from digging through her own bag.  
“Huh? Yeah, I used to, but not really anymore. It’s not the cheapest hobby.”  
Tiso just nodded in mute understanding.  
“Please just don’t touch them too much; they are hella hard to pose actually.”  
But Tiso had already lost interest in the figures and looked around the room some more. When he found nothing else of interest to focus on he joined Quirrel at the table while Cloth was rinsing out cups in the sink to put one in front of each of them, then opened the small fridge.  
“What do you want to drink? I got coke, water, Sunny D, I could make some tea if you’d like, Quirrel?”  
“Tea would be awesome!” Quirrel replied sounding so happy that Tiso looked at him a little confused.  
“Got it. How about you, Tiso?”  
“Water is just fine,” he said and turned back to his roommate. “You drink tea?”  
Quirrel shrugged. “I used to drink tea all the time, but instant coffee is just more convenient.”  
He watched Cloth fill an electric kettle with water.  
“Also my friend used to say that tea is always better when someone else makes it for you,” Cloth added.  
“Also that, yeah,” Quirrel laughed and opened up his textbook.  
“In that case, maybe I’ll try the tea, too.”

For a while they all worked in silence. It was a bit strange, not much different from sitting in college, but still nicer somehow. Until he reached his first roadblock in math. It was not even a full block, but he was sure he was doing something wrong. With each step the numbers got longer and more complicated, quickly gaining more than 7 decimal places. Tiso groaned and slid his hand under his hood, scratching at his head in frustration.  
Quirrel perked up. “Everything okay?” he asked and Cloth looked up as well.  
“More or less…” Tiso admitted “I’m very sure I’m doing something wrong here.”  
He turned his sheet towards Quirrel so he could see properly and he skimmed over the last few lines.  
“Yikes…” he said and took the paper to give it a proper look over. Tiso pressed his mouth into a thin line. Yikes indeed.  
His brow furrowed he took a few side notes and typed things into his calculator while Cloth craned her neck to take a better look.  
“Math?” she asked and Tiso groaned.  
“Yeah,” he mumbled.  
“Dude, I can’t find any mistakes. Your math is correct. But you’re right, this looks way more complicated than necessary.”  
“Math sucks,” Cloth said.  
“Shut up, you’re brilliant at math,” Quirrel immediately retorted “Here, maybe you can make sense of this.”  
Before Tiso could have stopped him he had passed the paper over to Cloth and her eyes immediately widened.  
“Oh wow,” she said.  
“Yeah, go ahead and make fun of me,” Tiso murmured but Cloth just shook her head.  
“Dude, don’t worry about it. Math is hard. And this?” She showed him his own notes. “I would have already given up and started over.”  
She looked over the whole calculation again.  
“What’s the assignment?”  
“Top right,” Tiso grumbled and Cloth read through it and then looked at his calculation again.  
“Pretty sure they want you to use fractions,” she said and handed the paper back to him. Quirrel and Tiso both leant in to see what she was pointing at.  
“If you go for exponents here and for fractions here, it should be way less chaotic.”  
“I’m having an exponential crisis,” Tiso groaned and Quirrel jabbed him in the side with his elbow.  
“No, Cloth, you’re a genius, Tiso look.”  
Quirrel walked him through the first two steps again using what Cloth had just pointed out and once Tiso was finished with the third step of the calculation on a fresh piece of paper, the line wasn’t even half as long as in his first attempt, and much easier to take in.  
The rest of the problem still wasn’t easy but also not migraine inducing either.  
Still, when he was done and ready to tackle the next part of the task his mind was about as empty and the fresh piece of paper in front of him.  
He tried the same approach from before but it only took one step for him to completely lose track again and he just pushed the paper to the side and took a new one to clear his head.  
“Still trouble?” Quirrel asked and leaned over.  
“I’m fine!” Tiso snapped. It was beyond frustrating to be the only one present who apparently still needed coaching.  
He tried again, this time coming from a mildly different angle which seemed to work better at first but went downhill again soon after.  
Not wanting to waste another paper he flipped the current one around and started over once more.  
“Y’know, if you need, we can try and help again,” Cloth offered.  
Tiso groaned. “No, it’s okay. I’m gonna leave.”  
He grabbed his things and stuffed them into his backpack. He really didn’t need both of them to patronize him.  
“Why?” Quirrel asked a bit confused while Tiso zipped up his bag.  
“I don’t want to keep interrupting you two.”  
“It’s okay, I don’t mind,” Cloth said and Quirrel nodded.  
“Yeah, if we can help, we’ll help.”  
“Nah, I’m good. See you later, Quirrel. Thanks for having me over, Cloth. And for the tea.”  
He could still feel their eyes bore into him as he left and closed the door.

Tiso had walked only a few steps before he groaned. Why did he have to be so dramatic about it?  
Of course Quirrel liked hanging out with Cloth more. She was smart and collected and he was just too stupid and easily frustrated to get anything right. Something Quirrel didn’t have to deal with when he was at Cloth’s place.  
Maybe he just needed to study harder, or at all for that matter. If Quirrel and Cloth could do it, why did he have such issues?  
Back at home he immediately took out his math homework again. For a while he just glared at it, psyching himself up to work on this on his own, to get it right.  
It took him a bit, but on his third attempt he finally seemed to be on the right track and the rest of the way was smooth enough.

Tiso was in the middle of the next exercise when Quirrel came back home as well.  
He only looked at him briefly, not wanting to get distracted.  
“You done with your college stuff already?” he asked and Quirrel put his bag down.  
“Not yet, no. But I wanted to check on you.”  
“I don’t need to be checked on.” Tiso said, impatiently tapping his writing pad with his pen.  
“Why did you leave?” Quirrel asked as he pulled off his sweater.  
Tiso sighed and rubbed his face. “I didn’t want to keep you guys from studying. I kept interrupting you and… I don’t know, I just felt dumb.”  
Quirrel snorted. “Well, you kind of are.”  
He was quick to add a snickered “sorry” after the glare Tiso shot him.  
“Dude, you worry too much. Most people struggle with math. Cloth is just really good at it. Like, really good. She’s freaky like that.”  
Tiso couldn’t help but laugh a little.  
“And I just like math. So I guess I’m a bit freaky, too.”  
“A bit? Dude, you’re watching math videos in your spare time, you’re about as freaky as they get.”  
“They’re fun, don’t judge me!” Quirrel laughed and dug through the cupboard for a package of instant noodles.  
“You’re not dumb, you just need the right approach and then you hardly ever have trouble doing the rest on your own. I’ve seen it. Sure, you get stuck once in a while, but what of it? You’re smart enough to catch back up every time.”  
“But not without help,” Tiso mumbled, absentmindedly tracing the grid on the paper with his pen as they talked.  
“There’s no shame in that,” Quirrel just said as he worked on his dinner.  
“Easy for you to say, you never need any help.” Tiso stopped tracing lines and went back to tapping the writing pad as he tried to get back into the right headspace to solve this.  
“I really should be more disciplined. It feels like I haven’t done my daily hour of studying in forever.”  
“Should I join you?” Quirrel asked.  
For a moment Tiso considered it but then said: “Nah, I can do this on my own.”  
“Alright.”

Tiso worked in silence while Quirrel ate his noodles and then went to sit on his bed to read some book on architecture.  
Tiso had filled a good three pages before he spoke again.  
“Quirrel?”  
He looked up from his book. “Are you stuck?”  
“No, I’m done actually,” he pouted a bit “But would you maybe look this over? It was weirdly easy in the end, so now I’m a bit worried I got it wrong somehow.”  
“Sure!”  
Quirrel sat next to him on the edge of his bed as he looked over the steps one by one.  
“This all seems to check out, dude. See? Once you get it, you’re cruising.”  
Tiso sighed with relief. He was glad to be finally done with this. And maybe also a little bit proud.


	21. Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys come around to playing some video games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kind of hard to get into a writing flow lately, but I'm doing my best to make steady progress ;w;

On the next day Quirrel found himself unusually distracted.  
Quirrel was not the only one to worry about the way Tiso had bailed out of the study meetup, but Cloth had voiced some concern as well.  
He knew how quickly Tiso could get frustrated with things, especially when he had trouble understanding. But even then his reaction seemed a little uncharacteristic. Cloth was genuinely worried that they had stepped on his toes simply by trying to help him. Tiso should be used to Quirrel occasional jabs at him having trouble with school now and then. He knew that these were all playful and not actually meant in a mean way. But did he really? Quirrel tapped his pen against his head so that his focus might snap back towards physics. It didn’t quite work.  
What if Tiso was actually offended by every single time Quirrel had offered his help and yesterday had been the last straw?  
Or maybe he just didn’t like Cloth? When they were by themselves later, Tiso had no problem asking him to look over his homework one more time.  
Or was Tiso still hung up on the idea that he was into Cloth romantically?  
Again he tapped the pen against his temple. If his thoughts kept drifting like that, he’d have to spend his break he’d have later today with going through his materials again.

On his way to history he made the effort to swing by the cafeteria, to see if Tiso was around. It did not take him too long to spot him at one of the tables, both hands respectively occupied with a fork and his phone. Aware of how little time he had Quirrel approached him in a jog, which drew his attention to him rather quickly, too.  
“Hey, dude,” he said “Don’t you have a lecture now?”  
“Got about seven minutes,” Quirrel smiled. It would hardly be worthwhile to take a seat, but Quirrel pulled out the chair next to him anyways.  
Tiso just looked at him, maybe a little bit expectantly. “Something up?” he asked.  
Since Quirrel was more or less in a hurry, he didn’t think it smart to bring up what happened yesterday now already.  
“Do you know when you’ll be home today?”  
“Definitely earlier than you,” Tiso replied “Why?”  
Quirrel shrugged.” We haven’t had a longer gaming session in a while.”  
Tiso glanced at him from the side. “True that. So you wanna game today? In the middle of the week?”  
Quirrel shrugged again. “It’s not like we have to stay up until 4…”  
Tiso huffed. “But it’s around that time shit gets funny…”  
“Yeah, but only because then we’re exhausted and ready for death,” Quirrel laughed.  
“Joke’s on you, I’m always ready for death.”  
“Spoken like a real warrior,” Quirrel snickered and checked the clock on his phone “Okay, I gotta run. See you at home!”

In the evening they were both sitting on Quirrel’s bed, his laptop propped on a chair not too far away, so that they wouldn’t accidentally pull it down when tugging their controllers.  
They enjoyed quick and mindless VS games, the kind where the matches went by so quickly that it was hard to keep track on who was winning.  
Quirrel had tried to introduce him to cooperative puzzle games before, but Tiso found it much more interesting to purposely sabotage their progress and then grinning at Quirrel in such a smug, dickish way, as if he’d just won the game.  
It was hilarious at first, but since it never got them anywhere in game, they soon enough switched genres.

After 50 quick matches the game had the decency to remind them that Tiso was winning by 4 points.  
“Okay, I need a break and eat something,” Quirrel announced and put his controller down. A quick glance at his phone let him know that it was already decently late, too. “And we shouldn’t overdo it anyway.”  
“You just wanna bail because I’m winning, admit it!” Tiso said with a smirk.  
“Speaking of bailing…” Quirrel started as he filled the electric kettle “I wanted to ask you again. About yesterday.”  
When he turned back around towards Tiso, his roommate wore an unimpressed, almost annoyed expression.  
“I know, you already explained yourself,” Quirrel sighed “But I can’t help but think there might be more to it. To be honest, that shit has been eating me the whole damn day and I’m really worried I might have pushed your buttons too much.”  
Tiso’s expression softened before drifting over into confusion.  
“What buttons?” he asked.  
Quirrel looked at him, not quite sure how to respond to that.  
“You mean me not getting math?” Tiso went on, and Quirrel shrugged with a shy nod.  
“Dude, you got that way wrong.”  
Quirrel let out a small sigh of relief.  
“I really just felt a bit in the way yesterday. And I don’t mean that because I think you wanna date Cloth,” Tiso immediately added when Quirrel opened his mouth.  
“I just don’t like feeling stupid.”  
“You’re not stupid, though,” Quirrel immediately retaliated.  
“I know I’m not! But next to nerds like you or Cloth I do seem pretty stupid. “  
Quirrel bit the inside of his lip absentmindedly.  
“And I know that you have other people you want to spend time with and I’m probably being unfair, but I feel like Cloth has been hogging you a lot lately; she is always around somehow. And I just like hanging out with you.”  
For a second Quirrel missed the bowl and almost burnt his hand but then readjusted to pour the boiling water into the bowl with the dry instant noodles instead.  
“You’re pissy because I am hanging out with Cloth?” he asked, once what Tiso had said had fully settled.  
“I guess?” Tiso threw his hands up and sounded angry, possibly at himself. “Or maybe I’m just on edge because things are still not fully sorted out between Tamer and me and besides you I don’t really have any friends, at least no good ones! And if you spend more time with Cloth, and Tamer hates me and the whole group hates me, then who am I gonna hang out with?”  
Quirrel had his back turned away Tiso and poked the floating block of dry noodles with a fork, pulling it apart a bit. He rubbed over his cheek with the back of his other hand. He was worried his face might be a bit flushed and didn’t dare to turn around.  
“It’s not like I’m never gonna hang out with you, we live in the same flat after all,” Quirrel tried his best to sound casual.  
“I know that! I know, I’m sorry, I’m being a dick. Of course you can hang with Cloth as much as you want.”  
Quirrel had no doubt about that. And he really enjoyed spending time with Cloth. It was calm and refreshing and it was nice having someone who shared many of his interests that Tiso wasn’t such a fan of and had experience with similar worries – something he would never talk to Tiso about. But of course he liked spending time with Tiso, too. So much so that sometimes he was worried about pushing himself onto him too much. Which made no sense, since they were just both in the flat they both lived in. That could hardly be considered obtrusive.  
“We were thinking about meeting up on Wednesdays on a regular, to do homework together,” he mentioned “And I am very sure that Cloth wouldn’t mind having you over as well.”  
Tiso looked up as Quirrel said that.  
“She’s not only a math nerd, but way into sports as well, so I’m sure you two have a lot of common ground as well.”  
Tiso shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.”  
“Weren’t you way into wrestling and show fighting, too?” Quirrel was absolutely sure that Tiso at least had a phase during which he was staying up way late, watching fighting shows on his phone with headphones until it was way past a reasonable time. It was also a phase that had lasted significantly longer than most of his fleeting interests.  
And his face indeed lit up a little, as if that old passion had just rekindled, if only mildly.  
“I bet she wouldn’t mind to get you caught up,” Quirrel said with a smile and poured some of the broth into the sink.  
“Maybe,” Tiso said again, but now with a smile instead of a shrug.  
“But today, we’re just hanging out and playing videogames, okay?” It was less of a question and more of a reassurance. Tiso nodded as Quirrel sat back down next to him.  
“I can’t play while I’m eating though, so either you gonna play some singles, or put on some video or whatever.”  
“Oh yeah, I found that one guy online who misinterprets life hacks, I was laughing so hard!”  
Tiso was typing away at the keyboard to find what he wanted to show him and Quirrel slurped his noodles while he tried to not too obviously revel in the attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to thank every one again for commenting, it's just so motivating to hear you guys looking forward to my updates ;w;  
Happy to make some peoples days brighter with this story ^0^


	22. Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloth has an idea and Tiso gives it some consideration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you again to all the lovely people coming up and telling me how they binged the entire thing so far! :'D  
I'm happy you all have fun with the story x))
> 
> Secondly: I made a tumblr account just for this fanfic; I will post doodles I have related to the fic on there under the tag "HKHyFo"
> 
> Here's the blog:  
https://sonnenplumehyfo.tumblr.com/
> 
> If any of you have made drawings of your own or just want to strike up some conversation, dont be shy to approach me there! It might take me a good few days to reply (since tumblr really isnt my site of choice) but I will get back to you! ^0^

Even from a nonromantic standpoint, it only made sense that Cloth and Quirrel got along that well. Tiso just found it a little bit annoying that Cloth was so clingy. Fridays were the only days when he and Quirrel were having lunch together and Tiso could not help but pull a face when Cloth was standing at their table pretty much unannounced.  
And of course Quirrel was all inviting, that was just how he was, getting up and hugging her as if they’d known each other for years already.  
Tiso wasn’t quite sure if Cloth could sense the repellant vibes he must have been giving off, but when Quirrel asked her to sit with them she declined.  
“I’m actually gonna meet up with the gang and just wanted to say hi real quick. I’d invite you over but things still being somewhat dicey between you and Tamer,” she said to Tiso “I don’t want to make shit awkward.”  
Tiso sighed. “If I knew how to fix it more, believe me I would.”  
Cloth fully turned towards him. “Oh, I don’t doubt that,” she said “Why don’t you try a blunt approach? Get her a gift or something.”  
Tiso looked at her unimpressed and she shrugged.  
“Dude, I don’t know either, it’s just a suggestion.”  
“I know. Sorry;” he grumbled.  
“No hard feelings,” she said dismissively, but not unfriendly.  
“Also Tamer is mostly still pissed at me because I somehow offended Hornet more than I did offend her? I think.”  
“I think it’s mostly because you disrespected her relationship. And of course that involves Hornet, too,” Quirrel offered while sitting back down and poking at his food.  
“Thanks, dude, very helpful.”  
“Hornet likes flowers,” Cloth then said and Quirrel motioned at her.  
“See? That’s helpful! Girls love flowers! Buy her some flowers and a card or something.”  
Tiso pulled a grimace. “Isn’t that a bit, I don’t know… old fashioned?”  
“Old fashioned is good sometimes,” Cloth huffed and Quirrel nodded in agreement.  
“I get my mom flowers almost every time I’m visiting.”  
“But your mom is old! Hornet is… I actually don’t know how old she is, but definitely not mom age.”  
“This is hardly a question about age, Tiso.”  
“Yeah, all girls love flowers!”  
“I bet there are exceptions,” Tiso mumbled.  
“Well, but Hornet isn’t one, she loves flowers.”  
“It’s worth a shot, Tiso, what do you have to lose?” Quirrel nudged him.  
“I don’t know. About 10 bucks?”  
“If you really want to show that you’re sorry, then you better spend more than 10 bucks…” Quirrel said and Tiso sighed.  
“Anyway, I’ll leave you guys to it then, see ya!” And Quirrel gave a small wave as Cloth turned to head to the table where her gang was seated.

“Flowers…” Tiso mumbled and shook his head.  
“I think it’s not a bad idea,” Quirrel said “I know a good flower shop not too far from here. I get my mom flowers from there on a regular. More or less.”  
“That’s not even the problem,” Tiso said, unsure how to even phrase it. “Look, Tamer is pissed at me, because I insulted Hornet. But once I apologized she – Hornet I mean – she seemed okay? Not great, but okay. But Tamer is still upset because of how I offended Hornet, who doesn’t even seem that offended and… I don’t know if this would even help.”  
Quirrel put a hand on his shoulder and Tiso looked at him.  
“No, it’s absolutely going to help! Tamer is mad because you disrespected Hornet. She needs to see that you are sorry! And a gesture like that, in front of her, don’t you think that’s gotta do something? And tomorrow they have their regular meetup at the park again, right? So the timing is great, too!”  
Tiso was quiet for a moment as he thought about it. “I’d have to skip athletics. Again.”  
Quirrel gave a shrug.  
“Admittedly, originally you were thinking of dropping athletics altogether, when you heard that Tamer was hanging out on Saturdays. And if you want things to get better-“  
“I do!” Tiso said promptly and Quirrel clapped his hand on his shoulder once, twice, before he got back to eating.  
“Very well then! Now eat, before we’re gonna be late!”

Tiso rolled the thought of buying flowers around in his head the entire rest of the day. It was such a classic approach it almost seemed ridiculous, but the more he thought about it the less absurd it had become. And by the time he got home, he almost liked the idea somehow.

“Okay, Imma do it.”  
Quirrel looked up from his laptop as Tiso closed the door.  
“Hello to you, too,” he said. “You’re gonna do what?”  
“The flower thing,” he said while kicking off his shoes “I will go get some flowers and give them to Hornet. I meant, what’s the worst that can happen?”  
“Glad to hear it!” Quirrel said.  
After taking off his shoes, bag and jacket Tiso just stood there for a moment, fighting the urge to fiddle with the drawstrings on his hoodie, or anything really. He wanted to ask Quirrel to come with him, but he felt like he’d tried his patience with all of this enough already.  
When Quirrel noticed that he hadn’t moved he sighed with a grin.  
“Yes, I’m coming with you if you want. That’s what you want to ask, right?”  
Tiso rubbed his own arm. Usually it was nice to have a friend who just gets you, but right now he just felt transparent and silly.  
“You really don’t have to,” he mumbled but Quirrel laughed.  
“Are you kidding me? I’m fully invested now, I wouldn’t want to miss this for the world!”  
“This isn’t a sitcom,” Tiso grumbled and Quirrel laughed even harder at that.  
“It might as well be,” he snickered “Also we hardly hang outside anymore, now that it’s getting colder again; this is a nice opportunity!”  
Tiso smiled meekly.  
“Just two guys, hanging out on the weekend, buying flowers together for girls they are not interested in…” Quirrel continued and now Tiso laughed, finally moving to sit on his bed.  
“Do you really think this is going to fix things?”  
“If it isn’t, then it’s at least going to make for a fun anecdote.”   
Tiso snorted at that.  
“So, what of homework? Wanna look at chemistry today, or push that to tomorrow, maybe Sunday?”  
Tiso was definitely too preoccupied to focus on anything directly college related right now.  
“Definitely not today. Tomorrow evening maybe?”  
“Why do I even ask,” Quirrel said with a smile “So, wanna play some videogames instead? You do owe me a rematch!”  
“I don’t owe you shit,” Tiso said with a challenging smirk “But sure, games are fun.”

It was fun and the time just flew by. Tiso even managed to beat Quirrel by more points than before.  
“We should start making bets,” he laughed and Quirrel pulled a grimace.  
“Just because you’re winning now. What would we even wager? Snacks?” he asked.  
“Dishes,” Tiso suggested.  
“Dishes?”  
“Loser does dishes for a week.”  
“Best out of a 50?” Quirrel grinned.  
“Best out 100.”  
“Dude, we have plans tomorrow!” Quirrel reminded him and Tiso snickered.  
“Alright, alright. Best out of 50 then.”  
And they shook on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admittedly, not the best chapter since there is not a lot going on, but the next ones will be better - I promise! ;D


	23. Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso buys flowers and Quirrel tries his best at sign language

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, a quick update, look at that!  
Don't get too used to this, I'm just on a creative roll and really am looking forward to writing what I have planned! :0  
This chapter is only one of those things! Enjoy!! ^0^
> 
> https://sonnenplumehyfo.tumblr.com

It was not freezing, but considerably cold when they walked to the Pale Bloom together.  
The shop was nothing more than a small family business. An old fashioned, possibly hand painted sign stated its name over a window, where potted plants were displayed so densely it was almost impossible to see inside the shop.  
As they stepped inside, a tall almost boney bug turned from the potted bonsai they were tending to and greeted them both with a subtle bow.  
“Hey!” Quirrel greeted them and Tiso looked around. He seemed a little surprised, maybe by the sheer variety of flowers and miniature trees. Quirrel would not have been surprised if this was Tiso’s first time in a flower shop.  
He almost walked into the other, shorter bug who was also working there.  
They just looked up at Tiso acknowledging his presence and then continued walking, as if nothing had happened.  
“It’s just the two of you today?” Quirrel asked and the taller bug nodded as Tiso and him followed them to the counter.  
“They aren’t exactly talkative, huh?” Tiso asked and Quirrel jabbed his side.  
“They can’t speak, don’t be rude.”  
Tiso gave an apologetic shrug and the bug guiding them did not react at all even though they had definitely heard him.  
They took their place behind the counter and looked at the two expectantly.  
That was when Quirrel remembered why he was so excited to come here again.  
“I have practiced my signing some more, would you mind if I gave it another go?” he asked the tall bug and they gestured an invitation.  
“You’re learning sign language? Beyond syllables?” Tiso asked “I had no idea.”  
“I only practice when you’re not home,” Quirrel admitted, a little flustered “It’s a bit embarrassing, there’s a lot of flailing…”  
Tiso snorted out a short laugh. “Well, I’m here now, so I’m gonna see anyways.”  
“You should go and look at flowers instead, you dolt, you’re the customer here!” Quirrel reminded him.

As if summoned, the shorter bug stood behind Tiso already, catching his attention with a quiet clap and then signing to him in slow syllables: “What is the occasion?”  
“Uhh, an apology, I guess?” Tiso replied.  
“Partner?”  
“What? No! A, uh, friend. A friend’s friend. More or less…”  
The shorter bug motioned Tiso to follow and as they stepped away, Quirrel turned back to the tall bug behind the counter.  
A little hesitant Quirrel lifted both hands, and slowly, very concentrated signed, but also spoke: “Good day” and the tall bug replied with the same signals.  
“Good day. Is college going well?”  
Quirrel smiled. Of course, he could just normally talk to them, but it was just a lot more fun to put something he had learned to use. Especially when it was working.  
“College is going well. But soon there is a break. I will visit my mother and buy flowers for her again.” Without signing he added: “For New Year’s.”  
“New Year’s,” the one behind the counter signed the syllables, then followed with a more unique signal.  
Quirrel tried his best to copy it. “Is that the signal for New Year’s?” he asked and they nodded.  
“Who is the other one?” they asked.  
He had to mean Tiso and Quirrel glanced over his shoulder to look at him, how the shorter bug confronted him with the same kind of flower in different colors.  
“Oh boy, uhh, I learned this…” Quirrel mumbled before signing again: ”He is my friend. He is my roommate.”  
First, the taller bug just looked at him, their head at an angle and thought for a while, then repeated the last signals Quirrel had used.  
“Yes,” Quirrel replied, and signed and spoke at the same time “Roommate.”  
“Wrong sign, try again.”  
It was then that Tiso and the shorter one, who had their arms full of a variety of flowers returned to the counter where they spread them out.  
“Roommate,” Quirrel repeated, signing more carefully now and then followed with syllables “Room. Mate.”  
Now both mute bugs looked at him, then at each other and after a few seconds the shorter one’s shoulders shook with quiet laughter.  
“What’s going on?”  
“I think I have a signal mixed up.”  
The tall one mimicked the signal Quirrel had used again and then added in syllables: “Sturdy broom.”  
Quirrel could feel heat crawl into his face. How could he get it so mixed up?  
“What does that mean?” Tiso asked. Apparently he hadn’t fully caught on to what was happening.  
“I called you a sturdy broom,” Quirrel deadpanned and Tiso looked at him in utter confusion.  
“What?”  
“As I said, I have the signals mixed up.”  
“If you tried to call me a dishwasher, Quirrel, I swear, I will punch you,” Tiso said.  
“You sore loser, I’m trying to say that you’re my roommate!”  
Tiso squinted at him.  
The taller bug caught Quirrel’s attention by tapping the table a little. Then they signed, pointed at Tiso and repeated the signal.  
Quirrel mirrored them, trying to ignore that pretty much everyone present was watching intently.  
The tall one and Quirrel repeated the process a few more times, before Quirrel could sign with confidence: “He is my roommate.”  
The taller bug congratulated Quirrel with a short clap and the shorter one took care of arranging and wrapping up the flowers.  
Tiso just shook his head. “Nerd.”

When they left the store Quirrel pulled out his phone.  
“You don’t mind me having a call with my mom while we walk, do you?” he asked. He didn’t want to forget the weekly phone day again.  
Tiso just shrugged with a nod and Quirrel scrolled through his short list of saved contacts and rung her.  
It took only one and a half ring for her to pick up.  
“Quirrel, sweetie, how are things?” she greeted and her voice immediately made Quirrel smile.  
“It’s okay,” he replied “How are things on your end? Is the oven still acting up? Maybe it’s time for a new one.”  
“Oh no, I had a friend take a look at it. Apparently a hard kick was all the old thing needed.”  
“As long as you don’t set the house one fire…” Quirrel smirked and Tiso looked at him with a crooked, confused grin.  
“I would never!” she said but with a connotation that made clear that if the consequences weren’t so drastic, she absolutely would.  
“Say, how is studying coming along? I know you have some exams coming up before the break, right?”  
“Yeah, but I should be okay. Also Cloth and I are pretty much study buddies now. We meet up once a week after school and twice in between lectures.”  
“It’s so nice you’ve found a new good friend. I’d love to meet her sometime!”  
“Maybe you will!” Quirrel said “But since I have my own place in the same building, it wouldn’t make much sense to bring her over.”  
“Oh, speaking of bringing friends over! I wanted to ask you about New Year’s! You will come visit again, right?”  
Quirrel laughed. “Of course I will,” he said “I was actually kinda talking about that just now with someone I know.”  
“Oh, good! Because I have just refused Herrah’s invitation, because I was just assuming I would be hosting you. Also, I wanted to ask, do you want to ask Tiso if he wants to join as well? I feel like I haven’t seen the boy in a long time, also didn’t you say he isn’t on best terms with his family?”  
Quirrel glanced at Tiso a bit nervously.  
“What, why? I mean, sure, I wouldn’t mind but also I don’t trust you.”  
Listening in on that gave Tiso pause and he looked at him, momentarily locking eyes before Quirrel broke eye contact.  
“Sweetie, it’s a genuine offer. I’d love to have you both over, but if he has other plans, or you think that that would be weird, I respect that,” Monomon said softly.  
“No, it’s okay,” Quirrel said “Imma ask him.”  
Quirrel lowered the phone from his ear a little.  
“My mom asks if you want to come join us for New Year’s Eve.”  
Tiso blinked at him in surprise.  
“It wouldn’t be anything fancy, just you coming with and staying at our place for a night or two. If you want,” Quirrel added.  
During a span of seconds Tiso’s entire face lit up.  
“I’d love to!” he said, beaming at Quirrel and he couldn’t help but smile back.  
“Mom? Tiso said yes,” he said into the phone again.  
“Excellent!” his mother replied “I’ll make sure to organize everything you might need here, then. I should still have a guest mattress in the attic somewhere… Maybe I should air that out first…”  
Tiso stopped Quirrel with his lower arm as they reached the park.  
“Sounds good,” Quirrel said “I gotta go, can we discuss the details another time?”  
“Of course! Enjoy your weekend, sweetie,” she said.  
“Thanks, you too, mom!”  
Quirrel had barely hung up when Tiso turned towards him.  
“I can’t do this man, I feel ridiculous!” he said.  
“What, visiting my mom?” Quirrel asked.  
“No, this!” Tiso said and shook the flowers in front of Quirrel’s face.  
“Woah, easy, don’t whip them around like that, flowers are fragile!” he said and stopped Tiso’s arm with both hands. “Also you have bought them and we are here, it’s a bit late to bail out now.”  
Tiso looked at Quirrel intensely.  
“Dude,” Quirrel said and let go of his arm “You got this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do bugs use bsl? also are there variations based on number of limbs?


	24. Gesture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso delivers some flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd get this chapter done way sooner, but other stuff got in the way... either way, it's here now :'D

It should be easy. Walk to where the group usually met, talk to Hornet, give her the flowers and just leave again. But for a moment Tiso had no idea how to get his legs to work any more.  
“You’re strangling the flowers,” Quirrel said and Tiso forced himself to loosen his grip a little.  
“This is going to be terrible,” Tiso huffed “I feel ridiculous.”  
“And that’s about the worst there is to it. Let’s go.”  
Tiso didn’t move. Handing over the flowers in front of Tamer was already a bit jarring the more he thought about it. But in front of the whole group? Maybe being hated for the rest of his life wasn’t such a bad alternative after all.  
“Tiso,” Quirrel nudged him “Come on, I’m right behind you. Man up!”  
Tiso took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and started walking.

The group was easy to spot and Tamer was the first one to catch Tiso’s eye. Not a hard thing to do, she was the tallest of the entire group and again, she looked stunning. Her entire style just screamed to not mess with her. And again Tiso regretted that he had done exactly that.  
However, the first one to notice Tiso and Quirrel approaching them was Cloth, who immediately raised an arm to wave at them.

Some members of the group turned to see who she was waving at and of course Tamer had to be one of them. Even from the distance Tiso could see her face clearly pull into a snarl. Cloth separated from the group to meet them halfway as Quirrel gently pulled Tiso along towards the others by his sleeve.  
“Hey, you two!” Cloth greeted them and Quirrel hugged her again, with the same familiarity and lack of hesitation as before.  
“Holy shit, you actually went and bought flowers. I can’t believe it,” Cloth added once she had a closer look at Tiso.  
“I mean, it’s worth a try,” he said, already annoyed at how meek he sounded. He really needed to man up. This was nothing. Just a batch of plants to give to Hornet and leave. No biggie.

He was still in the process of psyching himself up when Tamer shouted towards them: “You better keep walking, Tiso.”  
It sounded like a fair, genuine warning. And it gave Tiso the exact kind of fuel he needed to approach the group: Spite.  
Tiso only had to take a few confident steps towards them for Tamer to step out and in front of the rest of the group, arms crossed.  
“I’m serious, fuckwad, piss off,” she growled and Tiso only slowed down a tiny bit.  
“Calm down, I’m not even here for you,” he said. It was then when Tamer seemed to notice the flowers and her eyes narrowed further.  
“What the fuck is your plan?” she asked.  
She seemed so put off by the fact that Tiso was holding a small bouquet of flowers that he had no problem to get into normal conversational proximity.  
Tiso’s heart was in his throat, but he managed to keep his voice calm.  
“I just want to give these to Hornet and then I will be off.”  
Tamer quirked a brow at that, nothing more.  
“What’s up?” Having heard her name Hornet walked up to Tamer’s side. Tiso and her locked eyes for a moment, then she looked at the flowers and back at Tiso, questioning.  
“These are for you,” Tiso blurted out and unceremoniously shoved the bouquet at her, and more confused than anything else she took the flowers, eyeing them again.  
“You can’t be serious,” she said.  
Tamer too just stared at him, flabbergasted. “Yeah, are you for real? First you try to pull me in front of my girl and now you give her flowers?”  
“No, Tamer,” Hornet started “These aren’t romantic. This is an apology. And what a way, really.” She started to giggle a bit.  
When Tiso looked at her, a little bit confused she said: “You got these from the Pale Bloom, right?”  
“Oh my god, really?” Tamer asked with a crooked grin, the edge in her voice had completely vanished. Hornet’s giggle swelled to a genuine laugh.  
“What about it?” Tiso asked, somewhat angry at this point “What’s so funny?”  
Tamer was also struggling to hold back a laugh as she turned around to shout at the others: “Check this out! This dumbass bought Hornet flowers at the Pale Bloom!” which was followed by some snickers.  
“Cloth said you like flowers!”  
“Of course I like flowers, you idiot.”  
Tiso’s face scrunched up at the insult.  
“The Pale Bloom is a family business. Our family business.”  
Blinking was the only thing Tiso could do in his stupor.  
“Who served you? Was it Hollow? Wait, no, I recognize the style, it must have been Ghost, the short one, correct?”  
At the same moment it finally dawned on Tiso, Quirrel spoke: “Holy hell, you’re siblings? Now that I look at you, you do look super alike!”  
“Are you kidding me?” Tiso shouted at him “How in the world didn’t you notice? You go there all the time!”  
Quirrel snickered. “And I’ve met Hornet like twice, so what? Get off my back.”  
Tiso was seething. His eyes darted between Hornet, the flowers, Tamer and everyone, just staring and laughing.  
“I didn’t know, okay?” he yelled, hunching his shoulders and burying his hands in his hoodie as opposed to flipping everyone off.  
“Fuck this. I’m leaving,” he growled.  
Tiso turned but Hornet out of all of them grabbed his arm. “Oh, come on you sissy, don’t run,” she said with a wide smile.  
Tiso looked at her grumpily.  
“This is really sweet. I mean, it’s hilariously stupid, but I appreciate the gesture,” she said and Tiso’s face softened a bit. If that was really the case, maybe he had accomplished what he intended.  
“I can’t believe you didn’t see the resemblance though. Most people don’t even believe we’re only halfsiblings,” Hornet giggled “This is about the most considerate inconsiderate thing ever.”  
Tamer was cackling at this point and for just a second there was nothing hostile in her laugh, nothing mean. And before Tiso knew it, he was laughing too.  
It was a laugh of relief mostly and when he looked at Quirrel he just started laughing at him as well.  
It was a laugh at his expense, but a harmless one at that, and none that lasted too long.  
And Tiso hardly felt insulted anymore when Tamer said: “You fucking dumbass.”

Tiso felt like a huge weight had finally been lifted off him. Tamer did not bite back some snarky remarks, but they barely stung and no one told him to shove off either. It was still awkward, but with Quirrel and Cloth there, acting as links of some sort it wasn’t all that hard to fall into a more casual conversation with everyone again. Nothing too deep, but nothing too deflective either. It did not exactly feel like Tiso was best friends with anyone there (except for Quirrel of course) but when he and Quirrel left, it didn’t feel like they had to break out of a group they were unwelcome at either.

When they stopped at a traffic light well on their way back home Quirrel let out a small laugh again.  
“Well, that went great, wouldn’t you say? A lot better than I expected to be honest!”  
And Tiso just nodded, still grinning. He doubted Quirrel had any clue how much better he felt exactly, now that that finally seemed to be cleared up.  
“Yeah, same here. Thanks for your help, man. I doubt I would have gone through with this by myself,” Tiso said and he briefly wrapped his arms around Quirrel, giving him a quick, affectionate squeeze from the side.  
“Let’s hop into a pizza joint and get some take out.”  
When Quirrel didn’t reply Tiso looked at him.  
“Not in the mood for pizza?” he asked and Quirrel shook his head.  
“No, sure, pizza sounds great. I was just thinking that you should be the one paying,” he said with a crooked smirk.  
“Why me? I already had to spend money on flowers today!”  
“But those weren’t edible and also not for me, but to fix your own stupid problems. Which you dragged me through start to finish…”  
“I just said thank you!”  
“Nothing says thank you like a pizza with three toppings.”  
The light turned green and as they started walking Tiso punched Quirrel’s shoulder.  
On the other side of the street he sighed: “Yeah, okay, I can’t really argue with that. But then we’re even!”  
“Fair.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In other news: Quirrel will be screaming internally for the rest of the weekend.


	25. Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso watches some wrestling  
Quirrel watches Tiso

Tiso hugging him, even if it had barely been for a second, had caught Quirrel so off guard that he was absolutely out of it. The rest of the way they walked just felt unreal. It seemed as if Quirrel only realized what was happening once it was already over. He did of course notice how they entered one of the local pizza places. He registered how Tiso ordered for both of them – after all Quirrel had to tell him which toppings he’d want. But it only fully sank in once Tiso shoved Quirrel’s box at him. Tiso meanwhile was in a fantastic mood, and talked at him the entire time. Sometimes Quirrel’s mind caught up to the conversation for long enough so he could say something sufficient to show that he was not fully on autopilot and before he knew it they were home.

“You barely said anything, are you alright?”  
They had just taken off their shoes and jackets when Tiso asked.  
Quirrel stared at him, mind running but mostly in circles.  
“I’m okay,” he said “Maybe I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep all that much, so maybe I’m just crashing a little.”  
“Eat something, it’ll make you feel better.” Tiso grabbed his pizza and flopped down on his bed. “Wanna watch something?”  
On one hand Quirrel was super sure he wouldn’t have the mind for any sort of input right now. But on the other hand, a movie was a great distraction – not for him, he was distracted enough, but maybe for Tiso. A way to keep him distracted from how distracted Quirrel was.  
“What do you wanna watch?” he asked and began to prop up the usual set up; a chair in front of Tiso’s bed for Quirrel’s laptop to stand on.  
Tiso thought for a while. “Would you be down with watching some wrestling? Talking with Cloth and hearing her gush over the running season kinda got me interested again… I haven’t watched in forever though.”  
Wrestling had never been Quirrel’s kind of thing; however he could see the appeal in the lore and excessive characters. He had watched a match with Cloth once, and decided that it just wasn’t for him. He shrugged with a nod.

While the video was entertaining to watch, it just couldn’t keep Quirrel’s attention. Glancing at Tiso from the side, his eyes glued to the screen as he almost absentmindedly chewed on his pizza was way more interesting. Sometimes his eyes would grow subtly wider at the action, but the mild smile he wore was a constant.  
When Tiso said something, it took Quirrel a bit to notice that he had caught none of it.  
“Sorry, what?” he asked, a bit stumped by how he could not have heard what he had just said while he was literally staring at him as he had said it.  
Tiso swallowed the current bite of pizza before he repeated himself: “I said, I have no idea why I stopped watching this at all, this is amazing.”  
There was this giddiness in his voice that Quirrel hadn’t heard in an eternity he felt.  
It made him realize just how much the whole story with Tamer had gotten to Tiso. He had been so tense and unlike his usual self, too preoccupied with his “personal homophobic shit show” as he once had called it – now it was like a switch had been flipped. He was back to his old self, completely enraptured by something as shallow but entertaining as a show fight, apparently immune to all the stress and problems the world had to offer.  
“Maybe I’ll drop out of college, and go into wrestling, what do you think?” he joked and Quirrel snorted.  
“You going into wrestling? Maybe as a prop, for these beef cakes to hurl at each other.”  
First Tiso laughed at the term “beef cake”, but stopped as soon as he realized it was a jab at him.  
“Hey!” he said and almost shoved his pizza off his lap as he tried to kick the one next to him “There are lightweights in wrestling!”  
Quirrel snickered. “Of course. I bet they could still bench press the both of us no problem. I doubt you could even bench me.”  
“Okay, good move,” Tiso admitted “No matter what I’m gonna say to that, I’m gonna be the asshole.”  
The wide smile he had while saying so had Quirrel immediately smile back. He had missed this version of Tiso. A lot.  
“Boy, am I glad that the whole shit with Tamer is finally sorted out,” Quirrel said without thinking and Tiso’s smile faltered a little with confusion, but then he grinned toothily at him.  
“Yeah, me too. This whole story really had me busy the past weeks.”  
A yell from Quirrel’s laptop drew Tiso’s attention back to it and he huffed out a dry laugh, at whatever was happening on screen. Quirrel didn’t care enough to look, he was too captivated by Tiso’s profile. It really had been a while since he’s last seen him this unwound and happy.

It was well past 2am when Tiso decided it was late enough to catch some sleep. He had watched wrestling on Quirrel’s laptop the entire time while Quirrel had retreated to his own bed with a book and his phone at some point.  
“Okay, I think I’m done for today,” Tiso announced and backed out of the stream, closing the laptop after.

Quirrel stretched his arms, checking his phone again.  
“Did I hear that right? Some dude refuses to fight the other because he dumped his sister?” he asked. The book has held his attention for the majority of the time, but he could not help to still catch some snippets from what Tiso was watching.  
“Oh, yeah!” Tiso said with a tilted smile “The in-between is all part of it, don’t ask me why. It’s basically like a sitcom with a lot of brawling. But you can also pretty much skip all of that. The fighting is where it’s at.”  
Quirrel smiled with a mild shake of his head. It was absolutely like Tiso to say something like that.  
“Anyway, I’m pooped. Imma go ahead and sleep now. Mind using the small light if you wanna keep reading?”  
“You got it,” Quirrel replied and turned on his desk lamp as Tiso got up to turn off the light.  
Quirrel tried to let the book absorb him again as Tiso crawled into his bed, but his thoughts were torn back out of the story when Tiso spoke up: “Dude? Seriously, thank you for helping me out. You kinda saved my life.”  
Quirrel laughed quietly, hoping that the small light source was dim enough to hide the blush that would definitely soon crawl on his face.  
“God, you’re so dramatic. And I thought we were even?”  
“Sure,” Tiso mumbled “Just making sure you know.”  
Quirrel then heard him kicking his blanket into place before getting comfortable.  
“Night, Quirrel.”  
“Good night.”

It did not take long for Tiso to start snoring quietly. It did not exactly come as a surprise. It was late after all. But still, it had been a while since Tiso last had fallen asleep this quickly.  
Quirrel didn’t even try to get back to his book now, his head was just swimming with what Tiso had said. Such a small expression of appreciation but it meant more than the world to him.  
Quirrel checked his phone, mostly to make sure he didn’t have an alarm set. Then he opened the texting app and tapped the chat with his mom. He had to tell someone what had happened today, how grateful Tiso was for his help, what that did to him, that he had hugged him – Quirrel hesitated. Then he closed the chat with his mom and tapped Cloth’s icon instead.

“Are you still awake?”

When the dot next to her icon stayed red, he decided to not wait on her and just continued:

“Thanks for the tip with the flowers that really helped  
Tiso is finally back to his old self”

He tapped the side of his phone in thought before sending another text:

“He hugged me on the way back and that almost killed me hhhhhhhhhhh”

Quirrel turned off the small lamp and then turned down the brightness on his phone. It was then he saw the small icon indicating that Cloth was typing.

“Holy adggeegegegsdfeg are you okay? Did you live tho????  
Sry I was sleeping”

Quirrel immediately felt bad.

“Oh shit, did I wake you?”

“It’s okay agegdesgagg  
Its my own fault for not muting my apps  
But tell me mooooooore why did he hug you?? Did you hug him back???”

Quirrel drew in a breath. At that time he had been too slow. But would he actually have had the heart to hug him back just like that?

“I haven’t DX  
It was just a super quick hug from him because I came along to make up with Tamer and so on also I WAS A LITTLE STUMPED aasdasffdasdsfsd”

“Holy hell, you are adorable  
But man congratz?”

“hhhh thanks  
But really, this is going to take me weeks to process”

“No offense but Im gonna mute my phone now  
God you are so gay……  
Try to sleep some”

Quirrel snickered quietly to himself before texting back a crying emoji with some thumbs up. He really should sleep. But before he put his phone away he opened the chat with his mother again.

“Hey mom, I hope you have your phone on mute.  
I’m super looking forward to New Year’s, but I’ll try to visit once again before.”

For a moment Quirrel’s fingers hovered over the letters.  
He knew he was just going to get some silly reply to that, but still he added:

“Tiso hugged me today pretty much out of nowhere and that totally threw me for a loop. I thought I had myself in check well enough, guess I was wrong :/  
We do have some mutual friends by now who are also homosexual and he is cool with that, but I’m still not sure how when and if at all I should out myself.  
After all we share an apartment. I’m still worried that that might get weird.”

Quirrel sighed heavily as he closed out of the app and carefully dropped the phone next to his bed.  
He needed sleep. Desperately. Before his thoughts could wander too far again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, finally the first arc is fully wrapped up so to speak, I'm really looking forward to writing what I have planned next. x))


	26. Over it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso is over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, I haven't continued writing in quite a while ;A;  
I hope I worried noone that this was gonna get abandoned D:  
I just had other projects to focus on, not to mention my day job, but now I'm back in the groove of things ^0^
> 
> Hope yall enjoy the new chapter c:

It was such a weight off his shoulders that waking up the next morning Tiso felt like a whole new person. It was as if he had had some proper sleep for the first time in what felt like weeks. And knowing that it was Sunday, it wasn’t that hard to start the day with a hearty yawn, an elaborate stretch and a smile.  
“Good morning!” he said and paused when he turned around. Quirrel was still curled up in bed, fast asleep. Not too unusual on the weekends. During the week he was always the one to be awake first and wake him, but on weekends it was the other way around often enough. Not because Quirrel was oversleeping and needed to be awake, but it was around 11am latest that Tiso started to get bored and started discussing with himself whether it was too early to wake his roommate or not.  
Tiso fell back onto his pillow, just letting time pass for a while. He had no real agenda for the day so there wasn’t much of a reason to get out of bed immediately.  
After a semi-short moment of waking up more and yawning he picked up his phone, initially to browse the internet – he was surprised to see that he had received a text earlier. He was even more surprised to see it was from Tamer. Immediately he read:

”morning thought it would be fair to unblock you youve made a complete fool out of yourself yesterday ngl so fuckin funny  
But yeah, texting you to tell you were cool again”

Tiso smiled widely at those news. If making a complete fool out of himself had that effect on others maybe it was worth to do that more often. For a few moments he was unsure if he should reply to the text at all but eventually typed out:

“Happy to hear that, hope you have a nice Sunday.”

By itself the text looked a bit dry, so he followed it up with three thumbs up and then stretched again.  
Remembering yesterday had him snicker to himself a little. In retrospect, sure, he did embarrass himself a fair bit, but the payoff made it worth it. Now there was only one thing left to do for him to close that chapter completely.  
Remembering Tamer after just seeing her yesterday was easy. Her black trousers stuffed into boots, the half open biker jacket, her laid back attitude, how she leant on others’ shoulders with her elbow only emphasizing how tall she was, the way she smiled, teeth flashed and eyes narrowed – Tiso grinned to himself. She was by far the coolest girl he had ever met and Hornet was crazy lucky. But he also noticed something else. He admired her. And that was about it. There wasn’t the same twinge to his heart, not the same rush of giddiness he had experienced not too long ago when he thought of her. And why would he, really? The things he fell for her for were nothing he couldn’t find in magazines for rocker or biker fashion.  
Tiso furrowed his brow. Was his perception of Tamer really that superficial?  
His thoughts were briefly interrupted by a grumble from the other side of the room and Tiso looked over just in time to see Quirrel rub his face into his pillow to then turn around and continue sleeping.  
For a moment Tiso wondered how much longer Quirrel may have kept reading to still be asleep, but soon returned to the topic in his head: Tamer.  
What if she had been single? What if they had ended up as a couple? Tiso didn’t hang out with her personally too often, but her whole demeanor and attitude – Tiso doubted they would have been all that compatible. He was sure that there would have been a lot of friction, and not the sexy kind.  
He couldn’t help but laugh quietly at his own naivety. How had he not realized that sooner?  
Tamer was cool and fun to hang out with, but anything beyond that would have probably resulted in heartbreak, maybe even bonebreak.  
Tiso took a few more minutes to just lie in bed and smile to himself.  
He was over it.  
He liked Tamer, he was looking forward to more hangouts with her and the rest of the group and was over his stupid crush.  
He stretched once more. Time to get up and wake Quirrel.

As they both had breakfast together Tiso told Quirrel of his latest findings.  
He had trouble putting it all into well working words but his roommate nodded at him in understanding.  
“I see. I suppose that’s a good thing?” Quirrel asked and Tiso let out a big sigh of relief.  
“A super good thing! I can finally focus on other shit now,” Tiso replied with a wide smile “Actually…”  
Quirrel looked at him questioningly.  
“Could we maybe spend the day doing college stuff? Math, mostly?”  
Quirrel blinked at him a little stunned. “Who are you, and what have you done to Tiso?” he hissed and Tiso snorted at him.  
“I’m serious! I feel like I’ve caught on but a little practice can’t hurt!”  
And he was right. Studying with Quirrel was frustrating but also fun. Tiso was sure that studying was the frustrating part and Quirrel was the fun part. A healthy balance more or less.

And balanced it was; Tiso felt like he had made somewhat of a breakthrough and with Quirrel picking out progressively harder exercises for him he felt like he actually gradually got better. He almost cringed at the inevitable comparison his brain drew between this and leveling up in a videogame when Quirrel slid him another piece of paper. Tiso's confident smile dropped a little when he saw what was on it.  
"What is this?" Tiso asked and Quirrel scooted a little closer to look and point at the same time.  
“Chemistry,” Quirrel replied plainly, “Now that you’ve got the hang of math, why not boost you in chemistry as well?”  
Tiso immediately pulled a face. “I don’t really wanna…” he whined and Quirrel’s face phased into a smile.  
“Come on, dude. You’ve had fun so far!”  
“But math is actually easy when you’re there to help,” Tiso argued but Quirrel was having none of it.  
“I barely had to help you this time. I only picked out exercises for you, you did most of the work all by yourself.”  
Tiso grumbled to himself.  
“Still, you always keep helping me with college stuff. I want to help with something too!”  
It would be only fair – Quirrel seemed to enjoy helping him out, but Tiso was somewhat aware of how much work he must be. But Quirrel just looked at him somewhat confused.  
“What do u mean?” he asked “I don’t need any help…”  
“Then I’ve got to find something to help you with. Simple as that!”  
The smile on Quirrel’s face shifted a little into a mean grin. “You just want to distract so that you don’t have to do chemistry.”  
“Dude, I’m serious!”  
Quirrel just snickered and got up to stretch.  
“I think it’s okay to take a break at least. We’ve been at it for almost 3 hours now.”  
“What, really?” If that was the truth then time really has flown the past hours. Tiso checked his phone with a mumbled “No way” as Quirrel took out stuff he’d need to make instant noodles. That’s when it hit Tiso.  
“I know what I can help you with!”  
“Oh really?” Quirrel asked as he filled the kettle.  
“Yeah! I’m going to help you with healthier eating habits!”  
Quirrel turned around to look at him.  
“You’re skipping out on lunch way too often, dude.”  
“Because I got homework,” he huffed.  
“Not more than I, you don’t! So you help me study more, and I help you study less! It’s perfect!”  
Quirrel actually had to chuckle at that wording. Then he sighed.  
“Sure, why not,” he eventually said and Tiso beamed.

Putting said plan into action turned out to be a little harder than Tiso had expected – he knew when his and Quirrel’s free time overlapped, but he also knew that Quirrel had his phone muted during the entire time he was in college. So when he didn’t show up at the cafeteria and also didn’t respond or see Tiso’s texts, he decided to forfeit his place in the queue for food and go fetch him instead. He would have wagered his ass that he would find him in the library, and indeed it did not take him long to spot him there.  
“Sorry I totally forgot,” he hissed when Tiso had tapped his back and looked at him disapprovingly.  
They hurried to get back to the cafeteria to still have enough time to eat and Tiso scolded him the entire time.  
“You need to unmute your phone out of lectures, dude, I sent you like five texts.”  
“I was at the library, I’m not gonna unmute my phone at the library.”  
“You wouldn’t have needed to, if you had actually remembered to show in the first place.”  
Quirrel rolled his eyes and Tiso laughed at him.  
“Now I know why you always berate me when I’m not studying and forgetting stuff. This is fun.”  
Quirrel swatted his arm, but was laughing just as much.

It went better the next day and Quirrel joined at the table in the cafeteria after his lecture was over a good while after Tiso’s. His eating speed also came closer to a hungry person than the absentminded guy that would rather bury himself in books right now.  
It was nice to spend more time with Quirrel – since they didn’t share any lectures besides chemistry they hardly got time to spend together that wasn’t outside of college.  
With Tamer off his mind Tiso could fully focus on college, on studying and on spending free time with Quirrel, once more it was regular program for them to sit next to each other on one bed and either play videogames or watch shows in the evening. Maybe skipping out on all that had also added to his misery.  
If Tiso wasn’t mistaken, Quirrel seemed to be happier too, which only made it better.


	27. Push

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloth tries to give Quirrel a push

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small content warning, it's mild in my opinion but is still a sensitive topic especially for those from the LGBTQ+ community - check end notes for a more detailed warning if you are unsure if proceeding is perfectly safe for you.
> 
> Some of you may notice how the total number of chapters mildly declined - I won't cut any planned content, I just found ways to have a mildly faster yet still naturally flowing pace for upcoming events. There are some babysteps ahead that don't really each need their own chapter. xP

“What’s with you today? I don’t think I’ve seen you in such a good mood ever.”  
Quirrel looked up from his paper to see Cloth grinning at him pleasantly confused.  
It was one of their Wednesday study hangouts and so far Cloth had caught Quirrel humming to himself twice already.  
“Oh, sorry,” he muttered and wanted to get back to his notes, but Cloth stopped him.  
“Nononono, I’m not letting you off that easy! What’s up?”  
Quirrel sighed. It was a little embarrassing, really. He knew damn well what was up and he also knew damn well that being this happy about it was ridiculous.  
“It’s just that since Tiso and Tamer made up properly he’s been in a much better place. He’s just happier in general and I guess that rubs off a little?”  
He conveniently kept the fact, that Tiso more or less forced him to meet up almost daily to have lunch together now to himself. He just knew that if Cloth caught wind of that, he’d never hear the end of it.  
She still aww’d at him with a wide smile.  
“Don’t give me that look, you dumbass, this isn’t a soap.”  
”To me it is,” Cloth replied, her smile growing wider and Quirrel rolled his eyes.  
Can I get back to work now?” he asked with a chuckle and Cloth waved him off.  
“You can be so boring sometimes. Okay, do your precious homework then, nerd.”  
Quirrel pulled a face at her which she overtrumped with ease and went back to work. However he didn’t get very far until his phone buzzed.  
One glimpse showed that it came from Tiso.  
Cloth already opened her mouth at Quirrel’s expression but he raised a warning finger.  
“Don’t even start,” he said as he opened the text.

“Hey where are you?”

Quirrel tapped in a reply as Cloth asked “Is it from Tiso?” and Quirrel groaned.  
“Yes,” he replied in resignation, but still smiling “He asks where I’m at. Probably forgot that our study meetups are a regular thing.”  
“Ooooooooo, he wonders where you are! He misses yooouuu,” Cloth said and Quirrel shot her an unimpressed look. Before Quirrel was done debating whether to ask her how old she was again Cloth said: “In all seriousness though, you really should come out to him.”  
Quirrel let out a heavy sigh.  
“You are such close friends; I really don’t think it would be an issue.”  
“That exactly is the problem though,” Quirrel groaned “I’ve been crushing on him for over two years now and still haven’t gotten over that!”  
“That’s a long time,” Cloth commented, brows raised.  
“What do you know, maybe I’m just really good at crushing on people,” Quirrel grumbled “Or super bad at moving the fuck on.”  
Cloth responded wordlessly with a lopsided smile.  
“And I just know that once he knows I’m gay, he’d catch on sooner or later.”  
And then everything would fall apart, their friendship first.  
“And need I remind you, that we share a flat? We sleep in the same room, and all that stuff! If him knowing that I am gay won’t make that weird, him knowing I like him definitely would!”  
“I’m absolutely sure that you are overthinking this,” Cloth said, shaking her head slightly and then with a determined smile added “If you’re not coming out to Tiso, then I will.”  
Quirrel blanched as he looked at her incredulously.  
“If you out me to Tiso – hell, if you out me to anyone - I’m never gonna talk to you again.”  
Cloth looked at him, a little bit shocked, but then laughed.  
“No! Oh god, that’s not what I meant at all! I’m not gonna out you to anyone, don’t worry!”  
It was only when Quirrel’s features softened that he noticed that he must have scowled at her quite seriously and his heart was beating in his throat.  
“What I meant,” Cloth continued calmly “is that I will out myself to Tiso, to prove my point and show you that it’s not so bad.”  
Quirrel looked at her a little confused.  
“Wait, slow down. So you’re a lesbian too? Or…?”  
“Lesbian?” Cloth repeated and then laughed “Oh wow. No, I’m- Oh lord, I keep forgetting we don’t know each other that long yet. I’m trans, Quirrel.”  
The words took a while to sink in fully and when they did, the only thing Quirrel was able to come up with as a response was: “Oh. I had no idea.”  
Cloth laughed again. “Yeah, that goes for most people and believe me, that was some work. But that’s off topic.”  
Quirrel sighed again.  
“I’m not only saying that you should come out to Tiso because I think it wouldn’t do harm. But also because you are outed to the entire gang. People know what’s up, Quirrel. And if Tiso is gonna hang out with us again on the regular, I don’t want anyone to blow your cover for you. I can keep my trap shut. But I can’t guarantee that no one else is gonna slip up.”  
Quirrel bit his lip and looked at his paper. Getting outed had always been one of his greatest nightmares and really nothing he wanted happening again.  
“Can you maybe talk to them if you meet up with them again and Tiso isn’t there?” he asked quietly and Cloth reached over to put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it.  
“Sure.”  
Quirrel took a deep breath. “I should probably get going. See if Tiso needs someone to kick him to do some work.”  
“Alright,” Cloth said “Tell him hi from me then.”  
Quirrel nodded mutely as he packed his stuff together to stuff into his bag.  
Cloth observed him as he did, gears obviously turning.  
“Hey,” she said and Quirrel perked up.  
“I’m not going to out you. I swear.”  
“I know,” Quirrel said “I’m sorry.”  
Cloth just shook her head.  
“It’s quite alright.”  
It wasn’t. Quirrel knew damn well that Cloth wasn’t the kind of person to out him, so just bailing and giving her the silent treatment seemed unfair. But he just couldn’t turn off the crawling feeling in his gut at the mere thought of it.  
When he was done packing and shouldering his bag Cloth stood up as well.  
“See you tomorrow then,” Quirrel said, hating how weak he sounded.  
“Do you need a hug?” Cloth asked and Quirrel just stood there for a while, trying to think about that and not about why he’d need one.  
First he shrugged, then he nodded and Cloth didn’t miss a beat to wrap both arms around his shoulders.  
“I’m gonna guess you don’t want to talk about it?”  
Quirrel shook his head next to hers and then moved his arms to hug her back.  
“Nah, I’m good,” Quirrel said and Cloth huffed a short laugh.  
“No you’re not. But it’s okay if you don’t want to talk.”  
Quirrel nodded and maybe hugged her a little bit tighter.  
“Not now at least.”  
Cloth did not reply to that and just waited for Quirrel to take a deep breath and let go of her.  
“Sorry,” he mumbled and Cloth just shook her head and patted his shoulder.  
“You okay to go?”  
“I guess so.”  
Quirrel took a few more breaths and readjusted his bag, then managed a smile.  
“See you tomorrow then!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning:  
In this chapter it's heavily implied that Quirrel had been outed before and that that did not go all that well.  
There are no detailed descriptions of that event and the topic isn't pressed upon.


	28. Examination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso tries to get in touch with his own emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am so happy and overwhelmed by how positively my headcanon of Cloth being trans was received by u guys. ;w;  
And also how I actually managed to tie it into the story in a way that did and will make for fitting content.  
Ngl, I was a bit bummed when I thought I wouldn't gt to include it at first, but all is well now. x))

It was odd to just go back to athletics after skipping so many times. Luckily it was only the first time that Tiso got weird looks and the coach had pulled him to the side to talk to him. It was a bit of an awkward talk but at least not the kind that brought more trouble with it. The most important and uplifting thing Tiso was able to take away from it was, that the coach was glad he was back. And Tiso was glad as well.  
He had finally reclaimed the few regularities that he had had before the whole fiasco with Tamer had occurred – his sports clubs, hanging out with Quirrel and having time to play games and watch movies together, he even had added a new regularity to the mix by meeting up almost every day to have lunch together in the cafeteria.  
The only thing that bothered him, was that Quirrel had picked up some new regularities as well. While Tiso was busy with athletics, Quirrel met up with Tamer and the rest of the group at the park. Although with him it was less about Tamer and more about Cloth. They even walked there together. When Tiso stopped home for a quick shower after athletics and joined them afterwards he had no trouble to add to already ongoing conversations. However he still could not shake the feeling that he was being left out in a way. It was not much different with Cloth’s and Quirrel’s weekly study meetups on Wednesdays. Quirrel could and should meet up with whoever he wanted – there was just something bothering him about it.  
Tiso had never been exactly self-reflective. So realizing that that behavior was most likely based on jealousy was quite the revelation to him.  
That night he lay awake for the longest time, racking his brain to figure out why in the world he would be jealous. Why was it such an issue to have Quirrel and Cloth hang out together?  
The only possible answer he came up with struck him as strange, shocking even.  
He turned to look at Quirrel who was already asleep. No surprise there; it was already late and he had an exam the coming day, so waking him was out of the question, even if he really wanted to.  
He needed to talk to him as soon as possible. Because with all things considered and how Tiso’s emotions were acting up it seemed like he was developing a new crush. On Cloth.

When Quirrel shook him awake the next morning Tiso decided to maybe not jump him with his new problem immediately. Maybe after the exam would be a better time.  
“Please take notes in chemistry today, I’ll have to copy from you this time around,” Quirrel said while they walked to the facilities “Also I don’t know when I’ll be done, so it’s possible I’ll miss the lunch break.”  
Tiso nodded. “Yeah, figured. Good luck, dude.”  
Quirrel picked up a faster walking speed and Tiso took a turn to get to his first lecture.

When Tiso entered the cafeteria during lunchbreak he scanned the tables. He wasn’t looking for Quirrel, he was sure that he was still busy with his exam. He was looking for Cloth. When he spotted her at one of the tables he headed straight for her, not even picking up food first. When she saw him she smiled widely and got up, greeting him with a hug. It was just a habit of hers, to greet friends that way. He hugged her back, definitely tighter and longer than necessary.  
“Hey, everything okay?” she asked, sounding mostly confused.  
“Yeah, just hold on a sec,” Tiso said and Cloth just laughed awkwardly but still kept hugging him and then: Nothing.  
No exhilarated heartrate, no heat crawling to his face, no sweaty palms, nothing. Hugging her was comfortable, but that was about it, all the cliché signs for him crushing on her were missing. It made no sense.  
When he let go of her she looked at him very confused but also a little bit worried. “Is everything alright?” she asked again.  
Tiso looked at her, brows furrowed in thought. Maybe he just wasn’t crushing hard enough yet for those effects to settle in.  
“Hey!” Cloth tapped his arm to pull him out of thought. “Are you sure, you’re okay? You’re acting really weird dude. Are you sick? Do I need to call a nurse?”  
“What? No, I’m okay. Just… I don’t know, just forget it.”  
Cloth looked at him skeptically but didn’t prod further.  
“Do you maybe want to sit and eat together?” she offered. Tiso nodded.  
“Yeah, sure. Why nod. Imma go grab something real quick.

Tiso was so in thought that he ate very slowly. He saw Cloth sneaking worried glances at him once or twice, but didn’t think much of it.  
Maybe he actually was getting sick. Quirrel might know what was wrong with him. He checked his phone from time to time to see if he had send him a text signaling that he was done with his exam. But so far nothing. And as time went on it got more and more less likely that they would meet up during lunch.  
“Is it the upcoming exams?” Cloth asked out of nowhere and Tiso looked up from his plate. He shrugged.  
“Maybe,” he lied “I’ve actually been studying a lot lately though, so I should be fine.”  
Cloth smiled at that. “Remember that whenever you get stuck, feel free to ask me for help.”  
Tiso nodded with a grateful smile. He really hoped he would not get stuck again though. Math was going rather well now that he was fully caught up and working to keep pace. Quirrel did an amazing job at reminding him to waste some time on that regularly. And chemistry wasn’t that much of a big deal either. At least his grades there weren’t as important.  
It was a shame really, that there were exams ahead. Because Tiso felt like he had a lot more important stuff to work out instead.

When Tiso arrived home he found Quirrel who seemed to be busy with three books at once.  
He sat cross-legged on his bed and flipped through one of them, surrounded by notes, a few pens and his open laptop.  
Tiso dramatically shielded his eyes. “Oh god, I’m sorry, I’ll come back when y’all are decent.”  
Quirrel snickered and closed one of the books.  
“I was just checking if I missed anything,” he said and proceeded to pick up his notes. It looked like he had gotten a bit carried away with his research; Tiso could tell that at least one book was somewhat off topic.  
“So, how did the exam go?” Tiso asked and Quirrel shrugged.  
“Well enough I guess. There was a curveball or two, but I think I managed. How was your day?”  
“Eh.”  
Tiso got himself a glass of water and sat on his bed.  
“It was rather boring.” It really wasn’t. Especially after lunch he had been brooding over his emotional issue a fair amount, and it seemed wrong to confront Quirrel with it. It felt inconvenient in general. Quirrel was not the only one with exams ahead of him. Tiso had to worry about that as well. “Sorry for missing lunch,” Quirrel said as he put his stuff on a neat pile next to his bed.  
“You were writing an exam, no need to be sorry,” Tiso laughed “Did you grab something on the way home?” Quirrel shook his head no and Tiso shot him a look of reproach.  
“Wanna head to the store and grab some stuff? We’re almost out of cereal and I’m in the mood for some juice.”  
Quirrel winced a little. “I just got out of an exam, I deserve a lazy day,” he groaned.  
Fair enough, but a shame.  
“Aw, alright. Want me to grab anything for you?” Tiso asked as he put his jacked back on.  
Quirrel seemed to think about it for a minute.  
Then he got up. “I changed my mind, I’m gonna come with.”  
Tiso grinned and waited for Quirrel to get ready to head out.  
He was sure that it would be better to push unanswered questions aside and focus on college instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How stupid do I think Tiso is?  
Very, but he's trying.


	29. Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso takes a nap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, sorry for the longer break again, but this whole pandemic crap goin on is really impacting my life, especially since i still got to work normally hahahh;;;;;;; orz  
Self isolating like a champion and touchstarved af, and I think this chapter shows;;;
> 
> Anyway, stay home, stay safe, and enjoy! uwu

It was a strange Sunday.  
Tiso was uncharacteristically quiet, lounging in his bed and poking at his phone. At first Quirrel didn’t think much of it. Sundays were lazy days for them often enough, but usually Tiso would be rambling on about something or at least laugh at his phone and forward Quirrel a meme or two – but nothing. And frankly, it worried him.  
“Are you okay?” Quirrel asked. He had made attempts at conversation a few times already, but could barely get any more than a hum out of his roommate. And now too, he just made an affirmative noise, only sparing a short glance in his direction.  
Quirrel put the book he was reading aside and sat up properly on his bed.  
“I can tell something’s eating you, y’know?” he said and Tiso looked at him again with something that might as well had been a glare.  
Quirrel frowned.  
“Are you angry? Did I say something?”  
Tiso looked back at his phone. “You’ve been saying things all day,” he mumbled and Quirrel let out a huff.  
“Usually it’s you going on about how you’re bored and want to do something.”  
“I’m not bored.”  
“But something is up, dude, I can tell.”  
Tiso shrugged.  
“Is this still about Tamer?” Quirrel asked.  
“What? No. I’m so over Tamer,” Tiso said, sounding almost offended but Quirrel gave him a skeptical look. “Really,” he insisted.  
Quirrel sighed.  
“If you say so…” Quirrel picked his book back up. “If you’re just in a shitty mood, that’s fine. If you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine, too. But something is clearly up with you and I’m worried, okay?”  
Tiso groaned. “Yeah, you should stop that. Worrying about me all the time. I can take care of myself.”  
Quirrel almost winced at that. Tiso was right in a way, but he couldn’t help it. He hated when he wasn’t his energetic self.  
Tiso must have picked up on the shift in Quirrel’s expression.  
“Okay, that was unfair. I know you mean well, but really, I can take care of myself. Just… leave me be for today, alright?”  
That should be doable, Quirrel thought. With Tiso being a member in some sport clubs Quirrel had a lot of time hanging out in their flat by himself. But he couldn’t think of any day where that would be the case for Tiso. Maybe he just needed some alone time and was cranky because of that.  
“Would it help if I left?” he offered, genuinely.  
Tiso looked at him confused.  
“I could just head out, maybe grab some pizza on the way back, or ask Cloth for a spontaneous hangout, or-“  
“No, how would that help?”  
“I don’t know, man, I’m just trying to figure out how to make you feel better.”  
Tiso huffed. “You’re doing it again,” he grumbled “I don’t want… you don’t have to leave, just read your book or whatever.”  
Quirrel shot him a glare but Tiso already went back to looking at his phone.  
Not interested in letting the conversation escalate to an argument Quirrel picked up the book and tried to get back into the story. He did not make it very far however until he felt Tiso’s eyes on him again.  
When he looked up Tiso was quick to look back down at his phone.  
Furrowing his brow Quirrel got back to reading and a quick glance up mere seconds later let him catch Tiso staring again.  
“Hey,” Quirrel started but Tiso was quick to look away again.  
“I can see you glaring at me,” Quirrel continued “If you’re angry at me for whatever reason, you have to speak up.”  
“I’m not angry at you.”  
Quirrel shook his head, a little bit in annoyance and he reached for his phone.  
“I’m gonna ask Cloth if she wants to meet up,” he said and Tiso’s response was so prompt he almost dropped his phone.  
“No! I mean, really, you don’t need to leave, I’m just… pissy today, okay?”  
Quirrel looked at him a bit tilted. “Really now? I hadn’t noticed.”  
“Oh, haha,” Tiso replied and immediately followed it up with a groan “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s up with me today, okay? I haven’t slept all that well, my mind is all over the fucking place, maybe I’m tired, maybe I’m hungry, I don’t know!”  
Quirrel let out a sigh, glad that Tiso was finally talking to him.  
“Do you feel tired?” Quirrel asked and Tiso shrugged. “Hungry?” he tried next. Another shrug.  
“I don’t know, dude.”  
“Okay, how about this for a plan: We order pizza, we watch a movie and eat, and then see if you’re feeling well enough to get destroyed in some multiplayer, okay?”  
Tiso gave it some thought and Quirrel smiled when he eventually nodded.  
“Sounds worth a shot.”

Quirrel’s laptop was propped up on a chair in front of Tiso’s bed in the usual setup, Quirrel and Tiso sitting next to each other shuffled all the way back and leaning against the wall.  
As soon as the food had arrived Tiso had realized that yes, he was indeed hungry and they had picked a random action movie from their to-watch-list.  
Tiso still was very quiet, but now it could be due to the fact that he was eating and also distracted by the movie. It was less worrying.  
Soon enough the empty pizza boxes were piled next to the two as they continued watching the movie in silence.  
A side-glance told Quirrel that Tiso was mostly absorbed by the movie, face less scrunched up than before when he was glaring at his phone almost angrily.  
When the movie went into a driving montage which was pretty much meaningless padding and product placement for cars only, Quirrel asked: “Feeling any better?”  
Tiso nodded, a very small smile on his face. “Isn’t it weird how pizza is a cure-all?”  
Quirrel laughed. “I wouldn’t bet on that actually.”  
Tiso huffed a short laugh, and then groaned. With a shift of his balance he moved to lean against Quirrel’s side, their shoulders touching.  
Quirrel did not jump at the contact but definitely froze.  
“Sorry for being such a dick today. I’m just pissy for no reason, so I’m pissy at myself I guess.”  
Quirrel swallowed and nodded. “It’s okay, no hard feelings,” he said, hoping that his voice wouldn’t crack.  
Tiso just stayed like that, propped against his side and Quirrel felt his own heart hammer in his chest so hard he could have sworn he could feel his own pulse in his fingertips. He didn’t dare to move, scared that as soon as Tiso noticed he was still leaning against him he would sit back up properly.  
When the movie was done and the credits started rolling, neither of them moved.  
The streaming service immediately suggested another movie from their watch list which would start off automatically if they didn’t press a button soon.  
“Wanna keep watching?” Quirrel asked and at least turned his head a little to look at Tiso. He immediately noticed how tired he looked.  
Quirrel shifting made Tiso blink once, twice and then he regrettably sat up straight to stretch a little.  
“Sure,” he said.  
“Are you sure? You look pretty tuckered out. Do you need a nap?”  
Tiso chuckled. “No napping between the ages of 3 and 55,” he said.  
Quirrel laughed. “If you say so.”  
As the next movie started off they both turned back to the screen, falling into back into the former silence.  
The plot hadn’t even properly started when Tiso shuffled to lean back against Quirrel and this time he did jump a little. When Tiso seemed to shift away, without thinking Quirrel quickly said: “It’s okay, I don’t mind.”  
“It’s just more comfy,” Tiso mumbled and plopped back against him.  
Quirrel hoped that the heat blooming in his chest would not creep all the way up to his face.  
It was more comfy, but his racing heart didn’t allow him to settle into it more. Tense and nervous he just tried to focus on the movie. This proved difficult since every time he seemed to get into it Tiso moved next to him, getting more comfortable and before long Quirrel heard that quiet, telltale snoring next to his head.  
Quirrel turned slowly, sneaking a look at Tiso’s sleeping face and immediately regretted it.  
He had seen him asleep plenty of times before, but never this close. His face was completely relaxed, his mouth open ever so slightly and Quirrel noticed the light occasional twitch to the corner of his eyes.  
Now he could very clearly feel the blush spreading on his face. He looked back at the laptop, desperately trying to distract himself, trying to just watch the movie, but absolutely unable to absorb any of it.

“Okay, now I am mad at you,” Tiso grumbled, glaring at Quirrel over the granola bar he was eating. Quirrel couldn’t think of much more than a nervous laugh as a response.  
“Sorry, you just looked tired before already and I didn’t want to wake you.”  
“I missed the whole movie…” he mumbled.  
“You didn’t really miss anything, the movie was shit.” Actually Quirrel couldn’t really judge – he had missed most of the movie himself, too distracted by Tiso pressed against him, soundly asleep.  
Now he was awake, sitting on his bed while Quirrel was stirring some instant food on the small table.  
“Still…” Tiso’s voice was a mere mumble. “So embarrassing…”  
“Don’t worry about it. I told you, I don’t mind,” Quirrel laughed as he strained the noodles, pointedly turned away from Tiso. The memory of him asleep on his shoulder was still too vivid in his mind and he was sure that if he looked him in the eye he would be flushed red within seconds.  
“Still, kind of awkward,” Tiso said and Quirrel let out a huff.  
“It’s only gonna be awkward if you keep going on about it,” he said and went to sit on his own bed and eat the noodles.  
Tiso pulled his legs up and rested his chin on his knees, his expression still tired. At least he was smiling.  
“I just hope that didn’t throw off my schedule,” he mumbled and Quirrel shrugged.  
“We can stay up longer,” he offered but Tiso shook his head.  
“Nah, sleeping is probably a good way to pass time right now, I guess.”  
Quirrel tilted his head at that.   
But Tiso did look like he needed some rest. And if that would fix his mood, all the better. Hard focused on eating his noodles Quirrel tried to think of anything else than how badly he wanted to watch another movie like that, leaning against each other, not talking, not moving. If this hadn’t thrown Tiso’s schedule off rhythm, it probably screwed over his own. Quirrel doubted he’d be able to fall asleep with ease tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, theyre watching Netflix and are just chillin, what about it?


	30. Hover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso hates clingy people

The nap had fucked with his schedule, but not for the reasons one might logically think of. Tiso was lying awake for a good while, cursing himself for not only being so affectionate with Quirrel after being an absolute dick towards him, but also for literally falling asleep on him. It was bad enough that Quirrel already saw him as this slow witted goon who needed help with close to every lecture; he really didn’t need to come off as a softie as well.  
The entire damn day had been weird. Tiso was trying really hard to focus on college – he had been for days, especially with the exams coming up. But his own head just did a tremendous job at keeping him distracted.  
And Cloth was not the problem.  
Not directly anyhow.

The realization had taken a few days to creep up on him, but once it hit him, Tiso had a very hard time coming to terms with it. And he still hadn’t. But the only liable conclusion he could come to about him being so opposed to Quirrel hanging out with her, or others in general was, that he wanted to have him to himself.  
A completely childish and irrational thought.  
Tiso and Quirrel had plenty of time they spent together – they lived at the same place after all. But knowing him being over at Cloth’s place or working in the library with other students on group projects just had something about it that made Tiso antsy.  
He had no real reason to worry about Quirrel having more friends besides him. Tiso had other friends too; hanging out with Tamer and the gang had become a regular, fun and casual thing. And he was convinced that Quirrel being his closest friend was a mutual thing. They had known each other for years. So letting him spend time with others shouldn’t be this much of a big deal to him. But it was. And keeping a closer eye on this new inner development of his didn’t even help.

When Quirrel nudged him awake the next morning Tiso was super done already. For the better half of the night he had been brooding over his childish mindset, so he didn’t exactly feel rested.  
During the whole day time was crawling and it felt like every single lecture stretched to infinity all while Tiso really had to fight to not nod off in the middle of it.

“Do you want some of my coffee?” Quirrel offered almost immediately when they met up in the cafeteria.  
“Do I really look that bad?”  
“Oh yeah,” Quirrel said and poured Tiso some from his thermos without waiting for an answer.  
Tiso stared at the steaming, pitch black, unattractive dishwater, not really thinking about anything.  
Quirrel’s voice pulled him out of his thoughtless idling: “I’m never letting you nap again. You look like shit.”  
“Thanks,” Tiso mumbled and picked up his fork to poke at his food.  
“How much sleep did you catch?”  
“Dude, I don’t even know…” Tiso said. He knew that he did sleep some at least, but it hadn’t been even remotely close to his usual bare minimum.  
“Maybe you should make sure to go to bed early today. Don’t you still have an exam on Friday? Would suck if you weren’t properly rested up for that.”  
Tiso pulled a face. He really didn’t want to have to think about exams at the moment, even if he had originally planned on studying more during the past days and this week. But instead his stupid brain had to run circles around how he probably would be bored to death if he didn’t get to hang out with Quirrel every damn day.  
Of course Tiso blamed himself to some degree. He knew it was irrational and stupid to be so clingy. Being clingy in general was something he hated in others, and now he seemed to be stuck with that himself.  
But he also blamed Quirrel. With how much he helped him with college stuff, his personal issues and getting up in the morning it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that Tiso was depending on him so much. He really needed to get used to not having Quirrel around, which was easier planned than actually done. Especially when you shared a flat. But maybe today after basketball, he might get a chance to just casually hang around somewhere by himself.  
Tiso groaned at the thought of basketball, however. He was in no mood to play any sports but he also didn’t want to skip again. Also if he managed to tire himself out completely, then getting some rest this night should be all the easier.

Besides tasting awful the coffee Quirrel had shared with him did absolutely nothing and Tiso was desperate enough to actually approach the girl next to him in one lecture, someone he had never talked to before, to ask her to poke him if she’d notice him nodding off.

It was a relief when he finally dragged himself to basketball. His brain was beyond tired, but as soon as he was on the court with the others it booted back up, the workout actually helping shaking him a bit more awake.   
They were maybe halfway through training when he spotted Quirrel sitting on the tribune. He raised an arm to wave when he saw that Tiso had noticed him.  
Without second thought Tiso waved back happily, but then soon frowned, an odd coil in his chest. So much for loitering in solitude. But now that Quirrel was here and them most likely heading straight home after practice anyway, it wouldn’t hurt to give it his all and power through the rest of the day at 100%.

“What are you doing here?” Tiso asked, a bit gruffly.  
“I just wanted to check if you went to basketball practice,” Quirrel said “You were so tired at lunch already, I was a bit worried.”  
Tiso’s blood was already running hot from working out, so it didn’t exactly take much more to get him angry enough that his face burned up.  
“Again?” he groaned and Quirrel blinked at him, perplexed at first, but then he shrugged.  
“Sorry, I didn’t…”  
“You’re not my mom, you don’t need to hover over me like that,” Tiso added and picked up the pace, maybe subconsciously trying to shake Quirrel. But powered out by a shitty night, a shittier day and basketball practice Quirrel had no issue whatsoever to keep up.  
“Sorry, I’ll try and stop. As long as you don’t pass out on the way or pull any other stunts! Tiso!”  
It wasn’t exactly a busy street and the few cars coming their way would most likely have stopped in time, still Quirrel had grabbed Tiso by his sleeve and pulled him back on the sidewalk when he oversaw the red light and was about to stroll right into running traffic. When his sluggish mind had caught up with what had just happened he cursed himself. Idiot. Stupid idiot.  
How in the world did he think there was any validity to his words about Quirrel constantly worrying about him when he was too dumb to walk?  
Tiso shrugged Quirrel’s hand off his arm.  
“What the hell, man? How stupid do you think I am, I would have stopped,” he lied. Quirrel said nothing and Tiso bit his tongue.  
Quirrel meant well, he knew that. Of course he wasn’t trying to patronize or belittle him. It was frustrating, really.  
It was frustrating how spectacularly he always used to sabotage himself. How he always intended to improve on his behavior, or performance in college, but was never quite able to do so, not on his own at least. And then there was Quirrel, smart and collected and so much better than him, that it took him nothing to help Tiso out with whatever problem he decided to selfishly throw at him.  
Tiso was still glaring at him when Quirrel turned his head a little to look at him with an expression so worried and on closer inspection genuinely hurt, it made Tiso recoil a little.  
“Just lay down for a bit once we’re home, okay? You don’t have to sleep, but please get some rest.”  
Tiso swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and nodded mutely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, what an asshole, amirite


	31. Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quirrel overthinks some stuff and Cloth is being helpful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm sorry for being so slow atm ;-;
> 
> My draw-write-draw-write metronome was stuck on draw for a while longer than usually.... xD;;  
Thanks for ur patience uwu
> 
> Recently i had some direct and indirect run ins with ppl who read this fic on other platforms - I'm just so happy ppl enjoy the story ;w; Thank you all so much for the support!!!!!!! <3
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter uwu

Whatever it was on Tiso’s mind, it was gnawing at him relentlessly.  
He was in such a terrible mood that Quirrel hardly dared to remind him of his daily hour of studying. He had tried so once which had resulted in Tiso snapping at him and sulking for the rest of the day. When he wasn’t busy glaring at his phone, glaring at the wall, or glaring at Quirrel, he seemed to at least try to convey in some way that he was not mad at him. And Quirrel wanted to believe that.  
He had already been in a shitty mood before once, back when Tiso had learned that he had no chances with Tamer. But this was different. The sluggish depression back then was nothing compared to how on edge he was now. He seemed frustrated with something and it kept him from focusing on anything for more than an hour and made him lose sleep. Quirrel could hear him shift and turn, keeping him up with his shuffling longer than necessary as well.  
The difficulty to get him out of bed in time increased rapidly and on Wednesday they only barely left the flat on time.

“I really don’t know what’s going on with him,” Quirrel mumbled into his cup of tea and Cloth sitting across from him let out a thoughtful hum.  
Quirrel felt bad for burdening her with his worries, especially with the exams lurking just around the corner, but he was sure that he’d get nothing too helpful out of his mother on this matter and he had no one else he trusted enough.  
“He keeps saying that I should stop worrying about him, and that it’s nothing that I did but… I can tell he barely sleeps and we barely talk and when we do he is so aggressive, and I don’t even blame him! He looks like he hasn’t slept for days…"  
“Maybe he is on edge because of the exams,” Cloth suggested. Quirrel rubbed his forehead.  
“I don’t know. I don’t think that’s it… he doesn’t even try to study.”  
“Hmm. Shitty timing for that,” Cloth commented, taking another sip from her steaming mug.  
“I just keep thinking it’s my fault,” Quirrel sighed “He keeps saying it’s not, but at the same time he is complaining about how I mother him… And I get it! But also he doesn’t really care when I wake him up for example. I’d bet my savings that especially now he would oversleep.”  
Cloth just nodded as she listened intently.  
“Also it wasn’t that long ago that he actually thanked me for helping him out, so that’s a fun confusion!”  
Quirrel noticed how he was talking himself into a mild frenzy and took a moment to just breathe.  
Cloth took the opportunity and spoke up: “Maybe he thinks that you’re not taking him sseriously. Like, as an equal. I know that’s not what you’re trying to do, but I can imagine that he is feeling a bit belittled by all the help.”  
Quirrel sighed, staring at the table.  
“You know how guys are, always needing to proof themselves and all that.”  
“Yeah right. Well, I guess I don’t get a valid say in that,” Quirrel snorted and Cloth laughed, delivering a measured kick under the table, weak enough to not actually hurt.  
“And what does that tell me?” he asked “Should I let him win when we’re gaming together so that he feels validated?”  
Cloth had to laugh loudly at that. “That might actually have the opposite effect.”  
“Bet,” Quirrel said.  
For a moment, neither of them spoke.  
“I’m scared,” Quirrel then said, pretty much out of nowhere and Cloth tilted her head.  
“Scared? Why? Of what?”  
“I have… we… ugh…” Quirrel set the mug down and rubbed his face with both hands.  
“Last weekend we were watching movies, and Tiso was already kinda behind with his sleep then. So at one point he just passed out in the middle of the movie, more or less on me.”  
Cloth aww’d with a broad smile, but Quirrel shot her a nervous look, one that said that this was nothing to smile about.  
“And, I don’t know, maybe he’s noticed something,” he said “He’s been tired and in a shitty mood before but ever since that happened he’s been acting very repellent. What if he’s figured me out? Maybe he’s grossed out because we live together and now he doesn’t want my help anymore-“  
“Or,” Cloth interrupted him sternly “his lack of sleep keeps piling up and he gets more and more pissy about it to the point where he doesn’t even know where to aim his shitty mood.”  
Quirrel swallowed, his throat feeling too dry and too tight.  
“Quirrel, look, I know you’re worried, and I get why you’re scared. Believe me, I’ve been there. But also I know what Tiso’s temper is like. Heck, I’ve been there when Tamer clocked him one. He was an absolute ass, because he didn’t know what to do with himself and it took him a good while to get that sorted out and apologize properly.”  
“But that was different! He was way into Tamer, so of course he was emotionally involved.”  
Cloth giggled. “That’s one way to put it lightly.”  
“You know what I mean.”  
“I do, I do,” she said and pushed the mug to the side “But didn’t you also say he says you’re not the problem? I think it’s fair to believe he means that. If you were the problem, he’d let you know. Being subtle is just not him.”  
Quirrel smiled weakly. “I guess you’re right.”

Cloth was very patient with him, only letting him leave once he actually felt better. When Quirrel reached the door to Tiso’s and his flat however his spirit again was wavering a little, the old familiar worry crawling back into his chest.  
But when he entered and saw Tiso splayed out on his bed, fully dressed and in a pose he would probably feel for the rest of the week depending on how long he had already laid like that, Quirrel could not help but smile.  
Tiso was out cold, snoring, loosely holding his phone in one hand.  
Quirrel took off his shoes and jacket as quietly as he could before walking over to his sleeping roommate.  
It was good to see him resting but he should probably wake him so he could put on a sleeping shirt and maybe not stay in this twisted position.  
He reached out to his shoulder – and then hesitated.  
Would Tiso be okay with him waking him or would that be too much again?  
Quirrel shook his head. Too much or not, how he was sleeping right now would only add to his list of issues so he grabbed his shoulder and shook him gently.  
Tiso winced and forced his eyes open with visible effort and Quirrel pulled his hand back hastily.  
“Yo…” Tiso croaked, folding his arms into more comfortable angles and wincing again. "Hey," Quirrel just said as Tiso sorted his limbs.  
“How late is it?”  
“Almost six,” Quirrel replied “Sorry for waking you, but you were all twisted up into a pretzel, didn’t want you to feel that all week.”  
“I’m feeling it already,” Tiso groaned and sat up a bit, rolling his shoulders.  
For a few seconds Quirrel just stood there in awkward silence while Tiso closed his eyes again and stretched his limbs with very evident discomfort.  
“Quirrel?”  
He almost jolted at the sound of his own name.  
“I’m very sure I have a fever,” Tiso continued and Quirrel looked at him.  
He indeed looked not great, even more so than the last days.  
“I don’t think I’ll attend tomorrow. I’d really rather sleep. Or die.”  
Quirrel snorted. “You won’t die, you dumbass. Although you kinda look like it.”  
“Wow, thanks,” Tiso said, his voice flat, tired and toneless “I kinda had it coming though. I should have tried to sleep more.”  
“Well, you’ll have plenty of time tomorrow if you plan on staying home,” Quirrel said and Tiso nodded.  
“What about Friday?” Quirrel then asked “Don’t you have your last exam then?”  
Tiso pulled a face and nodded again.  
“Maybe I’ll be back on my feet until then.”  
Quirrel raised a brow. “If you’re really running a fever right now, you shouldn’t push yourself that hard. That’s not gonna help.”  
“I know,” Tiso groaned. “But I really don’t want to have to do a re-sit.”  
Quirrel sighed.  
“Besides… I have to recover soon anyway if I wanna come with for New Year’s.”  
Quirrel all but stopped short. He had almost forgotten. With Tiso in such a bad mood and busy with studying for exams he had lost track of time a little. And now that New Year’s was only about two weeks away he felt his chest tighten. Tiso really wanted to spend that time off with him and his mom. He could not stop a giddy smile from spreading on his face – but then he frowned.  
“Then you have to focus extra hard on your recovery!” he said, taking out his phone “Imma ask my mom, I bet she knows a household remedy or two.”  
“I’m not gonna chew onions, just putting that out there,” Tiso said and Quirrel looked at him, a bit confused.  
“That’s not a thing, Tiso. Why would that help?”  
Tiso just shrugged and Quirrel typed out a quick message to his mom.  
“I don’t know, but I know I’m not gonna do that.”  
“Fair,” Quirrel laughed “But what you are gonna do, is a re-sit for your exam.”  
Tiso groaned but didn’t object.

Quirrel wasn’t even done making some instant coffee when Tiso was fast asleep again. At least he had taken off his hoodie and jeans.  
Quirrel was still waiting for his coffee to cool a bit when his phone buzzed.  
Monomon’s answer was not much more than Quirrel had already in mind himself:  
“If the fever isn’t too high all he needs is rest and fresh air. He also should make sure to drink enough. Do you have a thermometer?”  
Before Quirrel could reply she had sent another text:  
“You should take his temperature rectally; the result is more reliable like that.”  
Quirrel would have liked to launch his phone right out the window. Instead he replied: “I’m not gonna do that. You’re making me reconsider bringing him over.”  
Quirrel knew that she was only kidding and that she would never do or say anything to out him, but he was still a bit nervous. However, his nervousness was easily overpowered how much he was looking forward to it all. And his mom's next message reassured him further:  
"Just trying to light up the mood. I hope you're not pulling too many all nighters! Make sure you stay healthy and let Tiso sleep as much as he needs. And if he doesn't recover until New Year's, then you just have to come over a few days later. I love you!"  
Quirrel smiled at his phone.  
"Thanks. Love you too."  
He really hoped Tiso would recover in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope to get faster with updates again, the next chapter is already in the works ;w;9  
Thank y'all for reading!!


	32. Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso looks at some pictures online which solves things but not really

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back in the flow as I'm hoping. :B  
Tho the chapters keep growing longer and longer, I'm mildly worried..... .-.;;  
But hey, more content! ^0^d

It was unpleasantly bright and disgustingly quiet.  
Tiso had been awake for a good while already, Quirrel already gone and in some lecture while he rolled around in bed trying to either fall back asleep or at least not think. The past days had went from hell directly to super hell and the fever and hammering headache was probably his own body demanding him to finally get his head straight. Literally.

The closer an eye he had kept on why it was such a problem to him when Quirrel hung out with others without him, the more confusing the whole issue got.  
For one, it was normal to him to have Quirrel around. They had been living together for a good few years and his presence had just become a given.  
But that still didn’t justify being this upset over that habit to be broken.  
Tiso turned around with a groan and reached for his phone. He had read the text Quirrel had left for him to see when he woke up a few times over already. It was not much, just him saying that Tiso should let him know if he wanted him to grab anything from the store when he came back home. Tiso still couldn’t think of anything in particular, but the text itself as a gesture made him already feel a lot better. Reading it for the maybe 10th time still made him smile. And then he frowned again. This was not a normal response. At least not a normal response to a text from your best friend.  
In a way Tiso already knew that this was something he needed to and should pick apart. After all it had been occupying his head for days already. But the conclusion he might come to scared him. Also he had no real idea how to tackle this. For the first time he was faced with an issue which he would want to discuss with Quirrel last. And there was really no one else he could think of he would want to have a more personal conversation with.  
Scrolling through his texting app he stopped with his thumb on Tamer’s icon. She might actually be able to help. If she was down with it. Sure, she had said they were cool and they had had casual and fun hangouts since then, but it was hard to determine how good a friend she actually considered him, if she considered him a friend at all.  
Tiso sighed. If he had been ballsy enough to hit on her in front of her girlfriend then this should be a cakewalk.  
He opened his chat log with Tamer and began typing.

“Hey, hope you have your phone on mute if you’re in a lecture.  
Can I ask you something personal?”

Tiso immediately backed out of the chat all the way to his phone’s home screen before he could have second thoughts and un-send the message.  
He opened his browser instead. He still had some taps open, tips on how to deal with migraine, how to fall asleep faster and workout routines. The site he used to watch streams on.  
A pop up told him that Tamer had replied.

“reverse cowgirl”

That was all.  
Tiso stared at the text for a few seconds, trying to make sense of it. He knew what a cowgirl was, so a reverse cowgirl – He shook his head before any pictures could pop up in his mind and replied:

“You’re unbelievable.”

Tamer’s response was very immediate that time.

“XD  
im just playing  
what is it?”

Tiso bit his lip. He didn’t think he’d actually get this far, at least not this quickly. Now he had no idea how to word his question.

“Are you sure you’re into girls?”

For a while Tamer just left him on read until the small indicator popped up to show she was typing.

“really dude drop it”

Tiso would have liked to punch himself.

“That’s not how I meant it, hold on.”

When Tiso continued typing his fingers were shaking and he had to fix more typos than usually:

“How can you be sure you’re into girls?”

Again Tamer didn’t reply for a good while. Tiso was just about to just back out of the conversation again and forget about it when she pitched back in.

“aren’t you into girls  
you should know”

Tiso snorted. She had a point. But did he really know?  
Without replying again he tapped back into the browser and the image search.  
After some thinking he just typed in “pin up” and let the internet work its magic.

The results that came up were colourful. Winged and wingless, legs tangled with fabric, skirts and blankets, straddling scooters and motorcycles. The pictures were probably edited to hell and back, either way the models were gorgeous. Tiso tried to look at them with a more analytical eye however, towards the pictures and himself. The only conclusion that he was able to draw from it all however was, that it was amazing how many ways there were to beautifully drape legs in ways that looked playful and alluring, yet not slutty. With a surprised blink of realization Tiso actually figured out that legs were pretty damn great. Beyond the aspect of functionality.  
So maybe looking at pictures was a good way to figure things out.

Tiso took a nervous breath when he tapped back into the search bar to add only a few more letters to spell out “male pin up”   
When he hit the search button again he had no idea what to expect.  
The first thing that struck him to be different was that the colourful palette of the female pin ups had been replaced by a mostly duller one. Sometimes the pictures were black and white or sepia by editing, sometimes it was just the natural colour of the male bugs’ carapaces that dulled the overall image.  
It was weird. The results were also dotted with the absolute opposite, pictures of shimmering shells and wings spread wide, the saturation cranked up to an almost blinding maximum. Those images were dazzling, but not really in a good way and really didn’t help with Tiso’s headache either.  
He started scrolling tentatively. There were spindly weavers, shield bugs with impressively broad shoulders, sparkling darners – and none of the pictures were doing anything for him.  
Tiso let out a sigh of relief, scrolling with a bit more confidence. The way the men were displayed was a lot less creative compared to the female pinups, mostly showing off wings, shell or horns. It was almost even boring, so when a pop up let Tiso know that Tamer had texted him again he was glad to have an excuse to close the browser.

“hey dude you good?  
dont tell me youre having a crisis”

He wasn’t. Tiso might have been a bit emotionally rattled, and also sick, but he most certainly was not having a crisis. However before he could type that out Tamer had sent him another text:

“if youre having a crisis i deserve to know so i can point and laugh”

Tiso grumbled to himself.

“I’m not having a crisis, stfu. I was just wondering.”

“about my sexuality?  
doubt it”

Tiso just made a dismissive noise at his phone.  
He was not having a crisis. Girls were still pretty and guys were just guys. And Tiso was just being a clingy idiot who had only one really good friend he considered to be close with. Anyone would be scared of someone snatching such a friend away. This was totally normal.

“Whatever, think what you will,” Tiso texted back and put his phone away again.  
Staring at the glowing screen didn’t improve his headache and he really should try to sleep again. The more he slept the sooner he would recover.

It was clear that Quirrel tried to be very quiet, but Tiso still jolted awake when he closed the door.  
Tiso was still groggy but aware enough to see how Quirrel smiled at him a bit apologetically as he took off his jacket.  
“Hey buddy, how are you feeling?”  
“Never better,” Tiso lied, his voice sounding anything but.  
“Oh, fantastic,” Quirrel grinned back at him.  
While Tiso sat up Quirrel unloaded the contents of his bag onto the small kitchen table.  
“You actually do look better, though. Kind of.”  
Tiso rubbed his face. Maybe Quirrel was right, at least he seemed to have managed to sleep off his headache.  
“Sorry, I totally forgot to reply to your text,” Tiso commented as Quirrel stashed away groceries. He shook his head.  
“That’s quite alright. I grabbed some stuff for you anyway. Nothing too amazing, just canned soup and some semi fresh stuff to toss in there.”  
Tiso smiled tiredly. Eating didn’t sound half bad.  
“I had a call with my mom on the way here. She says if you don’t recover in time for New Year’s it’s no biggie, we can come over after, too. So no rush.”  
Tiso frowned a little at that. He knew Monomon and enjoyed her company either way, but New Year’s was just a special occasion.  
“We’ll see,” he said and swung his legs out of bed.  
“You’re getting up?” Quirrel asked, surprised.  
Once he was standing Tiso stretched and yawned. “Bathroom,” he just said before dragging himself over to his destination while Quirrel snickered behind him.

After washing his hands Tiso splashed his face with the cold water. The cold felt actually really nice and refreshing and when he came back into the main room he felt fully awake for the first time in a about a week.  
“Hungry?” Quirrel asked and offered him the can he had bought so he could take a look. The image on the can was probably flattering its contents, but Tiso nodded anyway.  
“I should eat something,” he said “I had some cereal before but not much.”  
Quirrel took the can back. “Gotcha.”  
Tiso pulled a face when Quirrel dug a can opener from the drawer and fetched a bowl.  
“Can I… help somehow?” Tiso asked.  
“You can crawl back into bed, my friend,” Quirrel said “It’s not like heating up soup is a day worth of work. I’m gonna manage. And you should get back to resting.”  
Tiso sighed but not without a small smile.

Sitting in his bed again, legs wrapped in his blanked Tiso had his phone in hand and eyes trained on Quirrel, watching him pouring the soup into the bowl slowly.  
It was strange in a way. While Tiso had been by himself and Quirrel in college he had been bored mostly when he wasn’t asleep. But now, that Quirrel was actually in the same room, he missed him.  
He missed watching movies with him, playing games, looking at his face more closely when he was sitting next to him watching nerdy stuff on the internet, or reading. He actually missed studying together.  
While the soup was heating up in the microwave Quirrel had retrieved a bag of what looked like dried vegetables and cut something up that might have been a bell pepper once. The electric kettle was already running, a bowl with Quirrel’s instant noodles at the ready next to it.  
“Want to watch a movie or something while we eat?” Tiso asked and Quirrel looked up briefly before focusing back on the cutting board.  
“Sure! Anything specific in mind?”  
“Not yet,” Tiso said and his heart did something that couldn’t have been described as anything but a flutter. And that’s when he realized he wasn’t faced with a crisis. This was an absolute disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a seperate text document with examples and traits of how the different characters text for continuity.  
I bet noone even cares or notices but I do :B  
And yes, I do have set areas assigned to the characters when it comes to keysmashes.  
Doin it gay, and doin it right!! ò0ó9


	33. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys arrive at Monomon's place and New Year's is just around the corner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you have been looking forward to New Year's, and so have I!!
> 
> Many thanks again to MirrorDragon for screaming at me and proof reading, and also byzantiumelody on IG for helping me polishing!! ^0^ You're both fantastic ;w;

“Maybe we should have packed our controllers. We could have still played games on my laptop.”  
Tiso just laughed. “Come on, I bet you can go a few days without me handing your ass to you,” he said with a cocky grin. Quirrel could have easily countered with how he was on a 4:0 winning streak against him, but decided not to. It was a relief to see Tiso back in good health.  
They sat on the train next to each other, with only Tiso’s suitcase between them. With the way he was gloating it was hard to imagine that he had been sleeping most of the day with no voice whatsoever and a fever not too long ago.  
Now he was much more rested, his voice back to normal; he even had argued with the same energy Quirrel was used to when he was pushing him to pack stuff for studying for his re-sit in math. And it was wonderful to see him like that.  
He still seemed a little bit tired which took its toll on his concentration, but it didn’t dampen his mood as much as before he had fallen ill.

Lost in thought, Quirrel observed the water gently sloshing around in the plastic bottle Tiso held between his knees as the train moved.  
Tiso was no stranger to his mom by any means – they had visited together a good few times before and the two got along almost unsettlingly well. But so far, Tiso hadn’t stayed over multiple days at her place.  
Space wouldn’t be an issue. Monomon had turned Quirrel’s old room into a guest room where Quirrel slept when he was visiting by himself. However, it was significantly smaller than the flat he shared with Tiso. They certainly wouldn’t be cooped up in that room the whole time, but it was still something he was nervous about. Another thing was the fact that his mom loved to tease. It was all in good fun and never meant in a mean way, but with Tiso around, Quirrel was worried she would take things too far. She had promised over text that she would dial it back a few notches, but who knew how long she could manage that before cracking.  
“You weren’t even listening, were you?”  
Tiso punched Quirrel’s arm and when he blinked his eyes back into focus he noticed that the plastic bottle had vanished from his field of vision and it was only Tiso’s knees now.  
“Sorry, I spaced out. I always get kinda tired on longer rides,” Quirrel admitted sheepishly. It was only a half lie, but Tiso shook his head with a laugh.  
“Check it out,” he said and rolled his suitcase to the side, the one jammed wheel scraping after the others. He scooted closer to Quirrel who tensed up a bit, pulling his legs together. Tiso showed him his phone, the online browser opened to the webpage of a local arena, advertising some sports event.  
“There’s gonna be some random hockey match Tamer managed to snag a bunch of tickets for from a friend or something. It’s sometime later in January, so we all wanted to go watch together. The whole gang, I mean. You want in?”  
Quirrel looked from Tiso’s excited face to the picture advertising the event. It was a big hall, probably able to house a couple hundred spectators. The thought of all those ranks packed with people, chanting and hollering really wasn’t the most enticing image.  
Quirrel smiled a bit awkwardly. “I don’t know… Sports and screaming people aren’t really my thing…”  
Tiso’s happy expression faded a little, but then his smile was back.  
“Yeah, guess that’s fair. But think about it, maybe? Hockey is hilarious.”  
Quirrel gave a small sound of affirmation and Tiso turned his attention back to his phone.

Quirrel flinched when Tiso shook his arm.  
“…off, man. We gotta get off at the next stop!”  
Quirrel stretched his arms to the front and noticed then how he was leaning against Tiso, his whole weight propped against him. He hurried to sit up straight, a wave of shame washing over him. He had never expected to just doze off completely.  
“Sorry,” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact.  
“No problem, dude,” Tiso said and stood, putting on his jacket he had been sitting on during the ride. As Quirrel got up, he kept his gaze lowered and followed Tiso to the doors, hoping that if he was blushing Tiso would not notice, or it would be mild enough to blame the cold for it.  
As they waited for the train to halt and the doors to open, Tiso thankfully didn’t mention how Quirrel had gotten too comfortable next to him. He was sure that otherwise he would have died of embarrassment. But even as they hopped out of the train and started walking towards Monomon’s place, Tiso remained silent and Quirrel grew increasingly uncomfortable.  
Best to defuse and laugh it off now.  
“Sorry for falling asleep,” Quirrel mumbled. “You really could have poked me awake, you know?”  
Tiso looked at him and then laughed a little. “Dude, it’s cool, really.” He then turned to him with a smirk. “But I guess you see now how fucking embarrassing that is,” he grinned and Quirrel huffed.  
“Are you serious? You didn’t wake me up because you wanted to get me back for not waking you up?”  
Tiso started cackling while Quirrel just stared at him indignantly.  
“Behold, a man! Caught in a moment of weakness!” he drawled, while gesturing at Quirrel with a ridiculous wave of his arm.  
“Shut the fuck up or you can go sleep in the stairwell.”  
Tiso still laughed as they continued walking down the street and Quirrel couldn’t stop himself from cracking a smile, too.

When Monomon opened the door she immediately scooped Quirrel into a tight hug and he returned it unabashedly.  
“Quirrel, sweetie, I am so happy that you’re here. Both of you!” she added once she let go of him and turned to greet Tiso in a similar manner.  
“I would comment on how big you’ve grown, but I’m fairly certain you’ve always been this lanky,” she said cheerfully and Tiso laughed.  
“I assure you, ma’am, this is all muscle.”  
“Some long muscles you have,” Monomon giggled and gave his shoulder a harmless slap with one of her arms.  
“But look at me being all in a tumble. Come inside, boys.”  
Tiso and Quirrel followed her into the apartment.  
“You can’t tell me you’re this psyched just because we’re here,” Quirrel said as he and Tiso took off their shoes and jackets while Monomon was already hurrying back towards the kitchen.  
“Shush, I was looking forward to you two visiting the whole week! Also I'm doing too many things at once again, but no worries.”  
“Can we help with something?” Tiso called after her. The only reply was a dismissive sound.  
“Sweetie, why don’t you show Tiso where you’re going to be sleeping so you can drop your things off and get comfortable?”  
“Sure!” Quirrel said and motioned Tiso to follow him.  
The guest room was maybe just big enough to hold two beds and a closet – however beside the closet there was only one bed: Quirrel’s old one, and a mattress on the floor next to it. Blankets and pillows were neatly draped on top of them and a small stack of fresh sheets lay prepared on the foot of the bed. Quirrel dropped his backpack with a sigh and Tiso maneuvered his suitcase behind the door as best as possible.  
“Sorry, I know my mom can get a little intense…” Quirrel said with an apologetic smile but Tiso cut him off.  
“Are you kidding me? I love your mom, she’s cool!”  
“Yeah, I suppose so,” Quirrel smiled.  
“She’s miles better than my mom, that’s for sure.”  
Tiso didn’t talk about his family much, if at all. And Quirrel had found out rather quickly that he didn’t like talking about his family either, so he knew that prodding would lead to nothing.  
Instead he asked, “Should we put the sheets on right now, or later when we go sleep?”  
“Later,” Tiso said decidedly. “I really gotta use the bathroom. Remind me…?”  
Quirrel pointed Tiso towards the bathroom and as he vanished inside, Quirrel went to check on his mom.  
Monomon was busy at the stove with a full set of four different pots. The kitchen table showed evidence of even more activities: an open book, a pair of scissors next to two small giftwrapped somethings, a cutting board with inedible scraps from some ingredients, and a box filled with red sauce.  
Monomon glanced at him from over her shoulder but did not stop stirring the pot.  
“Hey, sweetie, let me greet you more properly again,” she said, turned down the heat on all but one of the stovetops and moved to hug Quirrel again.  
“You really are all over the place,” Quirrel laughed “We did this already.”  
But Monomon hushed him.  
“Where’s Tiso?” she asked as Quirrel pulled away.  
“He’s in the bathroom,” Quirrel said and started to move things from the table unprompted, starting with tossing away the waste.  
“Oh yeah, clearing the table is a good idea, dinner is almost ready,” Monomon said and Quirrel almost needed to push her back towards the steaming pots.  
“I got this, mom. You keep concentrating on the cooking.”  
“Alright, alright.”  
As Quirrel cleaned the table he picked the two small giftwrapped boxes up and eyed them curiously.  
“What’s this about?” he asked and Monomon spared a glance.  
“Oh, just a little something for you and Tiso. I saw this while shopping for food and thought of you. Naturally, I had to get one for Tiso as well…”  
“This better not be anything embarrassing,” Quirrel said and put the small presents on the fridge for the time being.  
Monomon giggled. “You know me too well,” she said and when she saw Quirrel’s face added, “Don’t worry, it’s harmless and functional.”  
When Quirrel narrowed his eyes further in suspicion she sighed. “Really, I promise. It’s nothing inappropriate.”  
Quirrel raised a brow, but decided to leave it at that. He doubted his mom would pull anything too weird, but he also wouldn’t put it past her that this was something sneaky and cheeky.

Once they sat all together to eat, Monomon was happy to ask questions whenever it got too quiet. It was a comfortable atmosphere and Quirrel had no problem easing into it. Tiso was a little bit foreign in this particular environment but Quirrel still felt at home.  
“I hope sharing a room won’t be too much of an inconvenience for you,” Monomon said as she refilled her glass.  
“We’re roomies, mom,” Quirrel said flatly. Tiso chimed in as well.  
“Yeah, we’re sleeping in the same room all the time, no worries.”  
“People just grow sick of each other so easily,” Monomon said “But it’s working out well for you?”  
“Absolutely,” Tiso replied and Quirrel noticed the exact moment when that playful glint lit up in Monomon’s eyes.  
“I mean, Quirrel wakes me up most of the time so I don’t oversleep. My schedule wouldn’t work half as well without that,” Tiso continued and a small wave of dread washed over Quirrel as he heard his mom chuckle.  
“Really now?” she said “That’s so caring of him.”  
Quirrel cringed at the use of the word but relaxed when he spotted no difference in Tiso’s expression and demeanor other than him getting more riled up.  
“And on the other hand I get to remind him to eat,” he snickered and Quirrel face palmed. “He’s way too busy with college sometimes to keep an eye on that.”  
“Now aren’t you two just perfect for each other?” Monomon laughed and Tiso started laughing even louder as well while Quirrel buried his face deeper in his hands. This was exactly what he had feared.

When they were back in the guest room they started readying the beds. It had taken a bit of arguing until Tiso had finally agreed to be the one to take the bed after Quirrel had convinced him that he was a higher level of guest in this. When they were both wrapped up in their blankets and their phones the only light source in the room, Tiso said, “Thanks for having me here.”  
Quirrel did not need to turn much to be able to look at him.  
“Of course, man. Tomorrow is gonna be awesome!” Quirrel meant it. He had been looking forward to it for days and his mom had great food planned and while he himself was not too much into fireworks, he was sure it was going to be a great night with Monomon and Tiso around.  
“New Year’s with my family is always so boring,” Tiso murmured. He put his phone away but the glow from Quirrel’s phone was enough to show him staring at the ceiling. “We meet, we eat, we watch the fireworks and then we go to bed.”  
“You do realise that that’s exactly what we have planned for tomorrow,” Quirrel said with a crooked smirk. Tiso huffed.  
“I mean, yeah, basically. But I bet it’s gonna be a lot more fun with you and your mom.”  
Tiso’s words immediately made Quirrel’s chest tighten, his heart beating a little faster.  
Quirrel did not trust his voice to make a dismissive comeback. When the screen of his phone turned off on its own after some long, silent seconds, Tiso yawned and announced that they should try to sleep and Quirrel left it at that, fingers gripping the blanket and eyes wide open in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my chapters used to be comfortably between 1k and 1.5k words, how could this escalate this much?? How did I almost write 2.3k words in more or less one sitting orz
> 
> Also I have pretty much only my own mom to base Monomon's personality on, so rest assured my real mom is 40% supportive, 58% troll and 2% social filter and I love her-


	34. Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso and Quirrel spend New Year's Eve together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for use of alcohol, no one gets shitfaced but definitely tipsy.
> 
> I am honestly so proud to have cracked the 50k mark with this xD;;  
Also I'm closing in to 100 pages in the full .doc :0 I'm still thinking back to when I first got the inspiration for this fic and thought "Yeah, I could probably write 1000 to 5000 words about this..."  
.....good times..... not better... but still good....

The next day just flew by. They spent a good part of the time just playing cards and talking. The company of both Monomon and Quirrel had Tiso so much at ease that he barely complained when Quirrel reminded him that he needed to study a bit as well.  
While Quirrel and he sat in the living room, buried in math, the only background noise was gentle clanking from the kitchen and the incoherent bubbling of the radio Monomon had running there.  
Sometimes she’d sing along, getting a little carried away with the volume of her voice and Quirrel and Tiso would snicker to themselves.  
It was a strangely nice atmosphere, homely and calm and with something great later that day to look forward to. And yes, while Tiso wasn’t exactly having fun with math, he was having fun because Quirrel was there.  
When Monomon came into the living room she was carrying two mugs of steaming cocoa and a small bowl of cut apples.  
While Quirrel was collected enough to thank her properly, Tiso just stared at his mug with dumbfounded appreciation. He was sure that she was pulling out all the stops because he was here as a guest, but still, he had never experienced such a strong gesture of motherly hospitality before.  
It was almost intimidating and he mumbled a shy “thank you” as he took a piece of fruit.  
“When you boys are done wrapping up studying, would you help in the kitchen? We should take care of dinner if we want to eat in peace before the year ends.”  
“Sure thing!” Quirrel said and Tiso nodded in agreement.

Watching Quirrel and Monomon cook together was mesmerizing. Quirrel hardly helped with cooking itself and was mostly busy with disarming the small hazards his mother would absentmindedly create by jumping from one task to the other.  
He’d stop the dirty ladle from slipping off the kitchenette, pick up the dishcloth that she accidentally pulled off a chair’s backrest and remind her to turn down the heat on various pots. Tiso grinned to himself, a little glad he got to sit and peel potatoes instead of getting caught up in that whirlwind of mild danger and getting in the way. Watching Quirrel orbit around his mother, making sure everything was going according to plan just made it all the clearer how caring he was. Quirrel was just the kind of person to want to support the people he surrounded himself with. It was strange how Tiso had to see that from the outside in order to come to appreciate it.

It was already rather dark outside when all three of them sat at the set table, digging into the meal.  
The conversation was lively and happy, Quirrel almost being childishly excited about the upcoming fireworks. When the dinner was about to be wrapped up Monomon emptied her glass and said: “Now, I’m not saying that you boys aren’t responsible, but please do not drink too much.”  
Quirrel scoffed and Tiso laughed.  
“No worries,” he said “Also I know that you’re going to have an eye on that.”  
“I’m afraid I won’t be joining you.”  
Quirrel blinked confused and Tiso as well looked at her in bewilderment and maybe a tiny bit of disappointment.  
“Oh, don’t look at me like that, boys. I’ve had plenty of New Year’s oracles already and I bet you’re going to have a lot more fun unsupervised.”  
Quirrel all but huffed.  
“Are you sure, ma’am?” Tiso couldn’t help sounding a little bummed out. Monomon was Quirrel’s mom, but she was still fun company. Having her around hardly felt like supervision.   
The smile Monomon looked at him with was a kind one. “As if you’d want some old lady tagging along. And admittedly, I am a bit tired already. I’m not sure I’ll be able to stay up past midnight.”  
“If you say so…” Quirrel mumbled. “You gonna light your oracle from the window?”  
“If I manage to stay up until then, I sure will.”  
Tiso didn’t feel as bad anymore about Monomon not joining them but when he looked at Quirrel his grin wilted a bit. Quirrel looked not exactly sad but definitely miffed with her decision and Tiso immediately felt a stab of guilt.

“I’m sorry,” Tiso said when they trudged up the hill to get a better view over the city.  
Quirrel turned around and looked at him, confused.  
“What for?”  
“For Monomon not wanting to join… you’ve probably looked forward to spending the night with your mom…”  
Quirrel looked at him with a somewhat odd expression.  
“It’s okay,” he eventually said and started walking again. “I mean, she’s probably right.”  
They kept walking in silence for a bit, Quirrel passing the bottle of liquor they had brought to Tiso after taking a sip. It was a mixture Monomon had made herself, plain vodka as base infused with a wide selection of berries. It was shockingly sweet but you could still feel the burn of the alcohol. When they had asked how strong the drink was, she had just shrugged and grinned and told them to maybe not drink it all.  
“I like your mom,” Tiso commented without second thought and Quirrel laughed. “I mean it!”  
“No, I totally get it. My mom’s pretty cool,” Quirrel said. He stopped walking for a second to take another swig from the bottle, then he frowned. “I don’t like your mom.”  
Tiso perked up at that. “What? Why? You never even met my mom.”  
“Point in case: Ever since we moved in together your parents didn’t come visit you once. They don’t even know what our flat looks like.”  
Tiso lowered his eyes, watching his feet comb through the grass. He didn’t mind them not visiting. They’d probably only whine about how small his place was.  
“It’s a long drive,” he said “It’s not like they don’t care. We text. We call each other. They’re just too busy to come visit.”  
“Still. Makes me angry.”

Tiso and Quirrel were not the first and only people at the hilltop. While it wasn’t crowded there were a good few small groups standing in polite distance, talking and laughing, oracles at the ready.  
Tiso’s head was preoccupied with his own parents for only that long until Quirrel grabbed him by his sleeve and pulled him towards the edge of the hill.  
The view was awesome; the city center was stretched out below them, the streets dotted lines of light.  
“Holy shit,” he said. “You have this every damn year?”  
“Pretty much. Cool, right? Just you wait until the fireworks get lit.”  
Tiso was baffled. The view from his parents’ house wasn’t all that bad either, but beaten by this by a long shot.  
“I mean, the oracles come first,” Quirrel added, fumbling the small tubes out of the bag they brought.  
“I don’t believe in that kind of shit, but I must say I’m kinda excited. I haven’t had an oracle since I was in elementary I think.”  
“I don’t really believe in it either,” Quirrel said “It’s still fun looking it up though. Even if you sometimes have to do it in the morning, because everyone is looking up their oracles and the servers keep crashing.”  
“What, seriously?” Tiso couldn’t imagine anyone actually believing in oracles, and imagining the whole country looking up their fortune at once just for the heck of it was a bit bizarre.  
Quirrel did not get to reply since they and the other groups of people around them fell into a hush as the electric lights in the city below winked out when the power was cut, leaving only the streets illuminated. And then the first lights appeared, blue, red, yellow, purple, all kinds of different colours.  
“Oh damn, we totally forgot to check the time,” Quirrel grumbled and dug out his phone to use it as a light source while Tiso fished the lighter out of the bag.  
It took some fumbling but eventually they both had their oracles lit, Quirrel’s starting off blue while Tiso’s had a blinding white. They both aimed the spray of sparks away from themselves, watching the sea of colourful lights below.  
“So, uh? Happy New Year?” Tiso said and Quirrel momentarily turned away from the view to look at him, beaming. “Happy New Year!!”  
For a short moment everything was wonderful and Tiso could clearly feel how this very image was etched into his memory. He couldn’t recall any time when he had seen Quirrel this carefree and happy, and before he knew it he was grinning widely too.  
“So!” Quirrel said, turning back to the city view. “Any New Year’s resolutions?”  
Tiso watched his oracle as the white sparks died out and where soon followed by a wave of red ones.  
“The usual,” he said “Get my shit together, study more, find a new hobby and forget all about all of this within the first week of the New Year.”  
Quirrel laughed. “Yeah, people are good at that, huh.”  
“What about you? Any specific plans?”  
He shrugged. “I take challenges as they come.”  
“Typical,” Tiso smiled and shook his head.  
When Quirrel looked at him questioningly he added “I think it’s a good thing.”  
He took note how quickly Quirrel’s frown turned into a smile at that – if that was the effect of saying something nice to him he needed to remember to do that more often.  
Maybe Tiso was staring at him a little bit longer than intended. Only when the sparks of his oracle switched colours again did his focus go back to that.

“The site is still down,” Quirrel whined “I want to know my fortune!”  
He stomped forward almost angrily. Tiso was glad that the way back was going exclusively downhill – he was tired and really not in the mood to climb another mountain.  
“Why? It’s probably just gonna warn you about some accident with a car you don’t even own.”  
“Which will only mean I will get a car this year!”  
Tiso snorted and gave Quirrel a light push so that he didn’t stop walking.  
“My texts didn’t go out yet either,” he said, checking his phone. “What about yours?”  
Quirrel pulled out his phone and winced at the brightness of the screen.  
“Nope.”  
“Well, maybe your mom is still up, then we can wish her a happy New Year in person!”  
That seemed to lift his spirit a little and he picked up his pace with newly found control of his legs.  
“Not so fast, I don’t want you to roll the rest of the way,” Tiso laughed and pulled Quirrel’s sleeve a little. Quirrel looked at the ground as if for a moment he was actually considering it.  
“Do you think your mom is gonna be mad?” Tiso asked to distract him before he could actually succumb to his impulse.  
“About what?”  
“She said we should leave her some, but you know… we drank it. All of it.”  
Quirrel made a dismissive noise and waved him off. “No way. If she really didn’t want us to drink all of it, she wouldn’t have given us the whole damn bottle.”  
That made somewhat sense so Tiso counted on that.  
When they were back at the house Quirrel had to fumble around a bit until he got the door open.  
They climbed the stairs as quietly as possible and entered the apartment just as quietly.  
“Looks like mom’s already sleeping. Bummer.”  
The lights were off and it was quiet inside so they just shuffled into the room they were sharing.  
“I’m so fucking tired, man,” Quirrel groaned and Tiso just hummed in agreement.  
Quirrel almost tripped over the mattress he had been sleeping on last night, but caught himself. He kicked the blanket on the floor out of his way and went to sit on the bed to take off his shoes, his jacket and sweater.  
For a moment Tiso just watched in a tipsy stupor before he figured out he should probably do the same.  
“You should take the bed tonight,” he said as he pulled his hoodie off. “That’s only fair.”  
“Already doing it,” Quirrel replied as he shook his pants off and immediately slipped under the blanket.  
“No discussion this time? I’m shocked,” Tiso grinned and Quirrel pulled a grimace at him.  
“As you said, it’s only fair.”  
Tiso wrapped himself into his own blanket and fished for his phone.  
“Wanna check if the servers are accessible now? For our oracles?”  
“Let’s just do that tomorrow, I’m tired.” Quirrel’s voice was a slur and when Tiso looked over at him he was sure that he was already out like a light.  
“Quirrel?”  
When he got no reply he focused his attention on his phone.  
The website where you could check what your oracle meant was still having issues, but at least his messages had gotten through. He had gotten a reply from Tamer, wishing him a happy New Year; Cloth had sent greetings too, as well as a gif of fireworks.  
Tiso shot back some replies, and then tried the website for the oracle again.  
When the site loaded without any issues he was giddier that he would have admitted. Quickly he tapped the colours his oracle had shown and clicked the submit button to load his year’s fortune.  
As the small animated oracle crackled in different colours to show that the site was loading, Tiso got more comfortable. It was only a mattress lying on the ground, but it was soft and the unfamiliar smell of the washing powder Monomon used was still somewhat homey. It just felt like a genuine sleepover and he couldn’t remember when he had last had anything like that.  
He got bored of looking at the loading screen and was about ready to back out of it again – apparently the servers were still a bit overtaxed – when the movement in front of him caught his attention instead.  
Quirrel, deeply asleep, turned under his blanket, his arms stretching out from under it briefly before dropping again.  
Tiso’s eyes locked onto Quirrel’s hand dangling off the bed, so very close to him.  
If he wanted to, he could just reach out and touch it. A weird impulse to have, but he actually did, really want to.  
Tiso drew in a breath and held it, as he slowly raised his hand. Merely brushing his fingertips against Quirrel’s was electrifying. Getting a little more daring he traced his fingers down towards his palm. When Quirrel’s hand twitched, probably out of reflex, Tiso pulled his hand away instantly, as if burnt. And burn it did. His throat was on fire, his whole body too warm, his chest tight and tingly and as his neglected phone’s screen turned off, hiding Quirrel’s sleeping face in darkness, Tiso pressed one hand to his mouth, hard. He was sure he could hear his own pulse drumming in his whole body and it felt like his face was on fire. There was hardly any denying it now. He liked Quirrel.  
And while it was too dark to actually see Tiso could perfectly imagine what Quirrel looked like, relaxed, asleep, comfortable.  
One hand still firmly pressed against his mouth he breathed raggedly through his nose, trying to do so as calm and shallow as possible. Tears started to gather in his eyes and Tiso blinked them away almost angrily. With his other hand he dug into his knee so hard it almost hurt. Anything to distract him from that knife that seemed to twist out of his own lungs and right into his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had you wating longer than I meant to, but I had trouble to get into a proper flow orz  
But HEY, we finally got clear emotional movement, so that's something ;D  
Hope the wait was worth it uwu


	35. Fortune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quirrel, Tiso and Monomon have breakfast together before the boys head back home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imma give up on apoligizing for taking so long to update again and again, this is just my new pace for now I'm afraid... u.u
> 
> Also, I will add a new "fic" to this series soon which will only be doodles of how I imagine the HyFo cast to look, so keep and eye out for that if you're interested ;D

Quirrel got woken up by light, quiet snoring and the smell of tea and pancakes.  
Blinking his eyes open almost hurt, but he did so anyway. He stretched under the blanket, still getting his bearings as he fully woke up. His brain soon enough remembered that he was at his mom’s place; that it was the New Year and that Tiso should be sleeping on the mattress next to his bed.  
Quirrel turned to look and couldn’t suppress a fond smile as he saw Tiso lying partially under, partially on his blanket, one arm under the pillow to press it against his face tightly. Quirrel allowed himself a few seconds to just look at him before he reminded himself that he was being creepy.  
He sat up, looking for his phone.  
While he was moving around, Tiso grumbled in his sleep but didn’t wake up. It took Quirrel a while but he eventually found his phone in the pockets of his pants from yesterday. It was already close to 1pm, which was still earlier than he had expected. He opened the texting app and smiled at the messages he’d gotten, from Hornet, Tamer, a few other friends and an entire avalanche from Cloth apparently.  
Over the course of 3 hours from midnight on she had sent him texts every few minutes, getting increasingly illegible as time went on.  
But he got the gist of it, which was that she too wished him a happy New Year, that she can’t wait to hang again, that she is kinda drunk, that she’s excited to hear all the details of how New Year’s Eve with Tiso went, that she is VERY drunk, that she wants to exchange fortunes asap.  
Quirrel shook his head with a grin and replied:

“I had no idea you could party like that  
I’m gonna tell you all about it, but let’s do that in person maybe?  
I still need to look up my fortune, the servers were down the whole time until we went to sleep asfdfgaedys”

Quirrel was actually curious about his fortune, but not curious enough to not get up first and wish his mom a happy New Year. He put on some socks and just grabbed the pair of pants he had worn yesterday since they were in reach – he didn’t bother to change his shirt.

Quirrel found his mom in the kitchen, busy with emptying the dishwasher.  
“You backstabbing monster,” he said and she turned to smile at him widely.  
“Good morning, sweetie!”  
Quirrel hugged her so tightly that she aww’d at him.  
“Happy New Year,” he mumbled into her shoulder and she squeezed him before letting go.  
“You planned this!” he then said and Monomon laughed behind one raised arm. “You planned this from the start, to have Tiso and me over and then bail out so we’d have to watch the fireworks together without you!”  
“How monstrous indeed,” Monomon laughed and closed the dishwasher. “Is he still sleeping?”  
“Yes,” Quirrel mumbled in response. “You’re unbelievable.” He flopped down on a chair at the table and only then noticed that it was fully set for a huge breakfast, pancakes, eggs, tea and coffee, everything ready.  
“I was just about to come and wake you,” Monomon explained when she saw Quirrel look over the table a bit awestruck. “But I suppose you have more experience in waking Tiso than I do. Do you want to go get him?”  
Quirrel glared at her and Monomon chuckled before her face took on a more serious expression.  
“Are you actually mad at me?” she asked and Quirrel let out a sigh.  
“A little,” he pouted.  
“You can’t tell me you didn’t have fun yesterday.”  
“It was… nice,” he said, avoiding eye contact. “Really nice.”  
“If it makes you feel any better, I actually did go to bed immediately after lighting my oracle.”  
Quirrel shook his head, but not without a smile.  
“Unbelievable,” he said again and got up. “I’ll go wake Tiso.”

When Quirrel came back, Tiso was curled up into a ball under the blanket, the pillow in a vice grip pressed against his chest.  
Wondering if he wouldn’t get a stiff neck from this Quirrel went to pull at the pillow, shaking it.  
“Tiso,” he said and the other grumbled, hugging the pillow tighter for a brief moment before unfurling his arms from it and stretching.  
First Tiso just made a strangled sound before yawning.  
"Morning," he mumbled, seemingly still reluctant to open his eyes.  
"C'mon, breakfast is ready!"  
Quirrel pulled the pillow away from him and Tiso stretched again, with a groan.  
"Awesome, I'm starving."  
Quirrel took a step back so Tiso could kick back the blanket and sit up.  
“Good,” Quirrel said. “Because mom went all out. Come on.”  
“Mercy, give me a second.” Tiso rubbed his face and followed it up with a hearty yawn.  
“Feeling hung over?” Quirrel asked as he watched Tiso toss the blanket fully off his legs and reach for his pants and a sweater.  
“From what?” he asked back “You had way more than me.”  
Quirrel furrowed his brow. He couldn’t remember exactly how much they both had had, but he knew that all of a sudden, the bottle had been empty.  
“So? You’re a lightweight.”  
Tiso bundled the clothes up in his arms and looked at Quirrel with an accusing expression.  
“I’m not wrong!” Quirrel laughed and Tiso shook his head with a grin.  
“Whatever, dude. Have you seen my towel?”  
Quirrel rolled his eyes.  
“Just put on what you wore yesterday; I haven’t showered yet either. We can do that after breakfast.”  
Tiso shrugged, dropped a good part of what he was holding and plucked out his hoodie and pants.  
“If you say so.”

Monomon waited for them at the table and greeted Tiso happily. As soon as they sat down Quirrel noticed the small giftwrapped boxes resting on his and Tiso’s plate, the same he had cleared off the table two days prior.  
Tiso picked up his with a confused expression.  
“Are these for us?” he asked, looking at Quirrel somewhat helplessly and Quirrel shrugged with a smile.  
“Go ahead and open them!” Monomon said eagerly, resting her head on two arms as she observed how Tiso turned the small box in his hand curiously.  
Quirrel weighed the small present in his hand before looking for a good part from where to tear off the wrapping.  
“Thank you! But I don’t have anything for you, ma’am, I didn’t-“  
Monomon cut him off with a wave of her arm. “Don’t worry about it, Tiso. And please, for the love of the gods, call me Monomon. Having you call me ma’am makes me feel old.”  
“You are old,” Quirrel said as he tore away the wrapping, revealing a neutral, white box which just read “Magic weather” on the top.  
“Not too old to throw hands with you, dear,” she said warningly but not without an audible smile.  
“Magic creatures?” Tiso read out loud once he had freed his box as well.  
“I have magic weather…” Quirrel said.  
“Come on, get them out before the tea gets cold,” Monomon said.  
After that account Quirrel knew what was inside before he flipped the lid open.  
The mug he pulled out was mostly black, with raining clouds printed on.  
He looked at it with a bit of suspicion, the texture of the print striking him as a bit odd.  
Tiso took his time checking out his version too, which was as black as Quirrel’s and instead of clouds decorated with bushes and patches of grass.  
Without asking if he wanted any, Monomon reached over the table and filled Tiso’s mug with tea, and almost instantly white blotches turned up between the already visible blades of grass and soon it was littered with tiktiks peeking out from the foliage.  
Tiso’s eyes went wide with glee. “Yo!” he just exclaimed, turning his mug to get a look at the “magical creatures” on every side. “This is so cool, how does it do that?”  
“Heat sensitive paint,” Quirrel said as Tiso was still checking just how many tiktiks have appeared.  
“Magic,” Monomon corrected him, moving to his mug before he could say any more.  
Only after a few seconds the rainclouds were each connected by vibrant rainbows spanning between them. Quirrel had suspected something like this from his mom, but he also couldn’t help but smile.  
“That’s so cool,” Tiso repeated as he watched Quirrel’s mug change too, the subtlety of the motive completely lost on him, luckily.  
Quirrel shot a glare in Monomon’s direction, which she returned with a smug expression. Quirrel sighed. It would be beyond childish to get mad at her because of a gift.

Quirrel has never seen Tiso so eagerly drinking tea before; he kept staring with absolute delight as the tiktiks faded when the mug was almost empty and got visible again after a refill. Seeing him getting such a kick out of something so insignificant had Quirrel forget about his mom’s cheeky underhandedness.  
“So, have you boys looked up your fortune yet?” Monomon asked as she refilled Tiso’s mug for maybe the fifth time.  
“Oh damn, I totally forgot about that,” Tiso said and pulled out his phone.  
“What was yours?” Quirrel asked as Tiso tapped away to open the website. Monomon sighed.  
“The same vague stuff as every year,” she said. “Do your work with patience and you’ll be rewarded with success, something like that.”  
“Stunning.”  
“Look at that, the site is actually loading properly,” Tiso said and Quirrel turned to him.  
“Well? What’s it say?”  
Tiso stirred a spoon of honey into his tea as he read: “You will see former plans crushed. Follow your instincts and they shall lead you to unforeseen victories.”  
“Wow, ominous,” Quirrel mumbled into his mug and Tiso just shrugged.  
“It’s a fortune, dude, what do you expect?”  
“It’s not bad, having plans, but you should never expect them to work out the way you imagined it. They should be a guideline at most,” Monomon said and Tiso nodded.  
“Makes sense.”  
“Can you look up my fortune, too?” Quirrel asked. “I left my phone in the other room.”  
“Sure thing! Know which colours you got?” Tiso asked and Quirrel nodded.  
Tiso typed in his oracle as Quirrel dictated the colours he had gotten.

“Here you go: “Put your trust in others and you will find support in unexpected places. Change is inevitable, for the better, for the worse.”

Quirrel was just about to take a sip from his tea but stopped short to not choke.  
“Very true, all year around, every year, for everybody,” Monomon said.  
Quirrel placed his mug back down, wiping a drop of tea that had spilled over off of the rainbow. Then he smiled. In a way this fortune had already come true, when he had opened up to Cloth and the rest of the group. He had never had such a close friend before. He was close with Tiso, but Quirrel kept things secret from him that he was able to openly discuss with Cloth. Befriending her truly was an unexpected stroke of luck in a very shitty situation.  
“Maybe that would be a good New Year’s resolution, sweetie,” Monomon continued, tearing Quirrel out of his thoughts.  
“What would?” he asked back and cringed internally when he saw his mother smirk back at him.  
“Keep less secrets.”  
“No,” Quirrel said, very warningly. If she was going to drop silly, oh-so-funny hints with Tiso at the table, Quirrel had no idea what he would do.  
“What is happening?” Tiso asked. The sudden mood shift had hit him a bit unexpectedly.  
Monomon just laughed. “Oh, nothing,” she said. “I am just very sure that Quirrel hasn’t done anything about his last New Year’s resolution.”  
Quirrel cocked his head. What was she talking about? What New Year’s resolution had he made?  
“Oh? Which one was that?” Tiso asked, genuinely curious.  
When Quirrel remembered what it had been he blanched, but couldn’t react fast enough to stop Monomon from grinning wider.  
“It’s nothing too bad, and I was actually hoping you could help him with it,” she said. “You see, he never learned how to swim, and was very determined to do so last year.”  
Tiso turned very slowly towards Quirrel, with mocking drama.  
“Are you kidding me; you can’t swim?”  
Quirrel felt his face going from cold to hot in an instant.  
“It’s not like I need to!” His voice almost cracked.  
“Tiso, you’re a sporty guy, I bet you could teach him, or at least help.” Quirrel felt his gut twist just at how nonchalant Monomon sounded.  
“What?” Tiso said, confused, and then quickly added: “Yes! Of course! I can teach you no problem! Swimming is easy!”  
“Absolutely not! No way,” was Quirrel’s immediate response.  
Tiso leant back in his chair, with a very odd grin.  
“Why not? There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Lots of people can’t swim.”  
Quirrel felt himself flush deeper. “Easy for you to say! But I am not going to flop around in the play area of some public pool, forget it.”  
“Don’t you have a pool at college?” Monomon asks.  
“That one is for the swim club though. It’s not like just anyone can go in there,” Quirrel said. “And no, I am not gonna go talk to the swimmers if I can go learn swimming in their pool,” he added quickly when Monomon was about to talk again.  
“Swimming is really fun though,” Tiso said. “Also look at it this way: It’s something I could help you with in return since you’re helping me with college so much.”  
That actually gave Quirrel some pause. He remembered how difficult it had been for Tiso to ask for help after he had tanked his first exam, and how hard it was to get him to accept help on a regular basis after that.  
“I’ll think about it,” Quirrel mumbled.  
“Very well! 'Quirrel learns how to swim this year' take two! Tiso, you keep me updated on this; it’s high time I take Quirrel on a beach vacation!”  
Tiso gave her the thumbs up, beaming, while Quirrel focused back on his plate.

Quirrel was still a bit squirmy when Tiso and he were on the train on their way back home again. Learning how to swim wasn’t something he was opposed to in and of itself. He just really didn’t like the idea of making a fool out of himself in public, or in front of Tiso. The way he had jumped at the idea however was a little bit reassuring. Maybe, sometime in spring or summer, it wouldn’t be that bad of an idea to actually try. But Quirrel would absolutely prefer it to happen somewhere without an audience.


	36. Workout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso talks Quirrel into trying a workout routine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was cruising with this chapter and see no reason to wait with posting this..... Imma just throw whatever I got done online, when its done and that's it. :y  
My motivation with writing is way too inconsistent to even consider a schedule orz

There were many ways to deal with an unwanted situation. Waiting it out, for example.  
But Tiso had never been the patient type.  
Simply avoiding the situation was also a possibility, but only if it wasn’t directly tied to your home.  
Asking for help was absolutely out of the question – there was no one Tiso felt safe turning to with this. Cloth would probably not be able to keep her mouth shut, Tamer would laugh him out of town, and his parents probably wouldn't get the severeness of the predicament Tiso was in.  
So the only option left was to tackle the problem head on, to get used to it to the point where it wouldn’t even matter anymore.  
On New Year’s, something had just finally clicked, and ever since Tiso hadn’t been able to get rid of that strange, floaty feeling in his chest whenever he even thought of Quirrel.  
And almost immediately, he had decided that shock therapy would be the way to go. Direct confrontation until he got over it. Direct confrontation had been the solution with Tamer as well, although talking about all of this with Quirrel was definitely not the best idea.  
But confronting himself with the biggest dose of proximity he could get would probably desensitize him. Get the mystery out of the world. And what better way was there to casually do that other than to go swimming together? It was the perfect plan: absolutely fool proof.  
But it still had one catch:  
“Because I don’t want to!” Quirrel huffed, arms crossed tightly.  
“Come on, dude, I bet you’re gonna love it once you’ve gotten the hang of it!”  
“I am not going to splash around in the shallow end of some public pool.”  
Tiso grinned at him. “You just don’t want to embarrass yourself,” he sneered.  
“Yes, exactly!!”

It had been a lazy day so far; they had only left their beds to shower and eat breakfast. Now they were just sitting under their blankets, Quirrel with a book and Tiso with his phone.  
He envied Quirrel’s patience to read that much some times. Books were a semi-infinite source of entertainment, if you had the patience to get into them. Tiso had tried many times, and while he had started to read a few quite interesting books, they never were quite captivating enough to keep his attention.  
But Quirrel was usually almost immediately absorbed, the surrounding world only snapping back into existence for him when he was directly spoken to. Tiso wished he could get into the same calm and concentrated state just from reading – but as things were, he just ended up feeling a bit lonely even if Quirrel was right there.  
When Tiso noticed how much attention he was paying to Quirrel who was focusing on his book again, how his fingers traced the edge of the next page, eager to flip it already, his face only moved by the most subtle change in expression, Tiso slapped himself mentally. He looked out the window instead, to see if the weather had finally decided what it wanted to be today, but it was still the same grey mix between rain and snow. The sight alone was enough to make him frown and pull the blanket a bit tighter around him.

If Quirrel was so opposed to swimming, maybe something different would be a nice enough start.  
“How about a different workout then?” Tiso suggested. Quirrel took a few seconds to finish the passage he was reading, then looked at him.  
“What do you mean, 'different workout'?”  
“If you don’t want to swim, then let’s do different workouts together!” Tiso said with a wide grin.  
“I’m not going to learn swimming from working out,” Quirrel deadpanned.  
He had a point.  
“True…” Tiso said. “But hey, when’s the last time you’ve done sports? Just in general. When have you last done sports just to do sports.”  
Quirrel lowered his book in thought. “Dude, I don’t know… I don’t really like sports,” he said. “I used to do fencing back in middle school but I think that was it. I don’t really need to do any sports.”  
Tiso huffed. “Don’t need to?” he repeated. “Quirrel, get up. Now.”  
“What? Why?” Quirrel asked in obvious confusion as Tiso more or less jumped out of bed and stretched the soreness from his limbs.  
“We’re gonna work out,” he announced.  
Quirrel just looked at him.   
“No, we’re not.”  
“Come on man, it’s gonna be fun! It’s not like we can go outside anyway, and I gotta move.”  
“Go right ahead, I’m not stopping you.” Quirrel raised his book again, but Tiso was quick to snatch it from his hands, making sure to not close it on him.  
“Come on. Thirty minutes?”  
Quirrel just looked at him mutely.  
“Twenty minutes.”  
Still no reaction.  
Tiso sighed.  
“Okay look, man, I just feel like I gotta find something to help you with for a change and making you eat food on a more regular basis is a start but I just want to…”  
Tiso stopped talking. What did he want out of this?  
Quirrel just looked at him expectantly with a weird expression.  
“I don’t know, share more hobbies, I think?”  
Quirrel’s features softened a little until he laughed. “Fair enough.”  
Tiso stood and watched as Quirrel kicked the blanket off and got out of bed, stretching in a similar manner as Tiso had.  
“Thirty minutes,” he said and Tiso beamed. “How do we start?”  
“We could start with what we do for warmup in basketball. Minus laps.”  
Quirrel gestured at him. “Show me.”

Twenty minutes later Quirrel was lying flat on his back and breathing heavily.  
“Why do you do this to yourself?” he huffed, desperately trying to catch his breath. “Everything hurts, man. I think I’m dying.”  
Tiso next to him let his legs drop out of the cycling motion as well and laughed, only with a slightly sadistic tone.  
“I swear it gets easier with time. You’ll get used to it!”  
“I don’t want to get used to it,” Quirrel huffed. “Why do my shoulders hurt?”  
Tiso sat up and rolled his own shoulders. “Because of the ground, I think. We should see if we can buy camping mats somewhere.”  
“You want to do this again??” Quirrel asked, very concerned.  
“Why not? People call it routine for a reason.”  
Quirrel groaned at that and Tiso snickered.  
“One more set and we can move to the next exercise,” he said.  
“There’s more?” Quirrel asked in a breathless panic, but before Tiso could answer, there was a knock at the door.  
They both looked at it and then at each other in mutual surprise. There was another, slightly more insistent knock and Tiso got up.  
Quirrel just watched, still lying on the ground catching his breath as he opened the door.  
Out of anyone coming by unannounced, Cloth was probably the most likely one, so seeing her standing in the hallway wasn't much of a shock.  
“Hi, Cloth,” he greeted her, and behind him, Quirrel sat up.  
“Hey, Tiso!” she grinned and went to hug him, but immediately let go. “Ew, why are you all sticky?”  
When she leaned a bit to the side to see Quirrel, on the floor and still a little winded, she turned back to Tiso.  
“What the hell did I interrupt?”  
Tiso’s whole body heated up at the implication. “I’m forcing Quirrel to do workouts,” he replied hastily.  
“Oh, is that what the kids call it nowadays?” she giggled.  
“Shut the fuck up, we’re the same age, dumbass!” Quirrel shouted which made her laugh only harder.  
“I’m kidding, calm down.”  
“What’s up? Wanna come in?” Tiso asked and Cloth tried to stop giggling.  
“Oh, right!! Nah, it’s all good, it smells like a locker room in here, you really should open a window,” she said. “I, uh, just wanted to ask you guys if you have any plans next Saturday. It’s gonna be my birthday and Hornet - well, her mom, really - lets me celebrate at her place.”  
Now, Quirrel stood up too and joined them at the door.  
“Wanna come to the party?” she asked, and Quirrel answered faster than Tiso could.  
“Of course! Right?”  
“Sure,” Tiso added, “Why wouldn’t we?”  
Cloth smiled widely.  
“Do we need to bring anything? Snacks, drinks or something?”  
She shrugged. “More snacks can’t hurt, but I’ll have most things taken care of I guess.”  
“You got it,” Tiso said and Cloth shoved her hands into her pockets.  
“Okay, cool! I guess I’ll leave you to your ‘workout’ then,” she said with a mocking grin and Tiso huffed.  
“Bye, Cloth! I’ll hit you up later so we can hang out sometime, okay?” Quirrel said with a small wave.  
“Sure! Later, dudes!”  
Tiso closed the door and turned towards Quirrel.  
“Okay, back to the workout. Next is just some simple pushups and then we’re done,” he said as he went back to the middle of the room. Quirrel let out another pained groan, but followed him.  
“My arms already hurt,” he whined. “I can’t deal with this.  
Tiso tutted at him. “Well, you’ll have to. I’m not gonna let you off that easily, dude. I’m gonna push you for a month at least, and then you can see if it really isn’t for you. As I said, it gets easier the longer you do it. And it’s not gonna hurt like this forever.”  
“One month…” Quirrel repeated. “You’re going to kill me, man. This is going to kill me.”  
Tiso got back on the ground and waited for Quirrel to join him.  
“If you get to torture me with studying almost every single damn day, I get to torture you twice a week, it’s not even a fair deal, so shut up.”  
Quirrel looked down at him.  
“…Do you really think it’s torture?” he asked, his voice small all of a sudden. It made Tiso stop short and sit back up to look at him. Quirrel was frowning to the point where he looked genuinely hurt and Tiso felt overcome by a mild panic.  
“What? No! I just… no, it was just a joke, dude! It was a joke!” Tiso almost stumbled over his own voice. “No, I really appreciate your help, and I know I’m a piece of work with me being so slow sometimes and distracted and really, I didn’t mean it, I like studying with you, I really do!”  
Quirrel’s frown was replaced by a very small smile and Tiso felt his heart jump at that slightly.  
He quickly got back into position so he wouldn't be able to look at him anymore.  
“Now get your ass down here; we’re doing pushups.”  
As Quirrel positioned himself next to him, Tiso felt a very similar pull in his chest as he did back on New Year’s Eve. And while he kept his eyes trained on the ground, he realized he had gotten nowhere closer to his goal, and probably never would at this rate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this I have actually cracked the 100 pages on my main .doc!!! 8D  
The longest thing I have ever written by myself ;w;  
I must say, I am proud and regret nothing. x))


	37. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quirrel and Tiso attend Cloth's birthday party

Quirrel couldn’t rightfully remember the last time he had been to anyone’s party. Not that it was due to lacking invitations, but parties weren’t exactly his idea of a fun time. Tiso never really celebrated his own birthday and neither did he, but Cloth was another friend he happily made an exception for. Especially with how she was beaming when she opened the door for Tiso and him.  
“Hey, you made it!” Cloth said and hugged them both.  
Quirrel hugged her back tightly and Tiso somewhat awkwardly padded her shoulder.  
“Happy birthday!!” Quirrel smiled, and without letting go Cloth swung them from side to side a bit until Tiso made a pained noise.  
“You’re crushing my back, have mercy,” he pressed out and Cloth pulled back. With a wave she invited them inside.  
The first room was already of impressive size, with a full lounge of armchairs and a big couch in front of a swanky TV, an open kitchen separated by a big counter, a flight of stairs leading to the upper floor – it was like a small palace almost. There was plenty of space but Quirrel was relieved to see not that many people here, and those present were almost exclusively familiar. Some people from the regular gang were hanging out at the kitchen counter where a wide variety of snacks was presented.  
Tamer and Hornet were both on the couch, each holding a gaming controller.  
“Hey, you two,” Hornet said and swung her legs off Tamer’s lap and got up to greet them properly.  
“Holy shit, Hornet, you live in this place?” Tiso asked a bit baffled.  
Tamer, still on the couch, threw her head back and laughed.  
“Seriously, this is a mansion,” Quirrel added while Hornet gave him a quick hug after Tiso.  
She shrugged. “Yeah, luckily my mom has a really well-paying job. Also…” An almost mean grin spread on her face. “My biological dad does pretty well for himself too, and is still paying child support as long as I live here.”  
Tiso actually laughed at that and Quirrel had to grin, too. He had never even met Hornet’s father but judging from just that account he was the kind of person who deserved to be forced to pay up.  
“Yeah, it’s nuts, you should see the yard,” Tamer butted in from the couch. “They got a pool AND a barbeque area.”  
“Tamer, come and say hi properly!” Hornet said.  
“Not now when I’m winning,” she cackled instead and Hornet sprinted back to the couch.  
“You cheating whore, I’m gonna beat the shit out of you.”  
“Anything to earn me the title of champion, princess,” Tamer grinned.  
Cloth shook her head and properly led the two boys into the house.  
After she showed them to where they could drop off their jackets and shoes the three of them went to the kitchen to grab some food together.  
“I’m only waiting on an old friend and her brother now, but then everyone is here,” Cloth explained while they dug into some pasta salad.  
“Is there a plan for the evening once they’re here?” Tiso asked. “Like, are there games planned? Do we all get plastered and then spin some bottles? What do we get to look forward to?”  
Quirrel blanched a bit at that possibility. He hadn’t been to bigger parties for a while and the thought that there could be immature games like truth or dare or spin the bottle hadn’t even crossed his mind.  
Cloth laughed and waved Tiso off however.  
“Only if there’s enough people that want to play. We have cards we could play drinking games with, though. And video games. The beat’em’up the girls are playing right now is for 16 players max, which is a nightmare I would love to see happening.”  
Quirrel relaxed a little. Drinking games he could handle. Video games as well.  
Tiso swallowed his current bite. “Sounds great to me,” he said. “When do you want your present? Are you gonna unpack all at once or do you want ours now?”  
Cloth’s eyes grew bigger. “Aww, you guys! You didn’t have to get me anything.”  
“Fuck you, I had Quirrel take pictures of your room like some creep for this, you gonna take it,” Tiso said and went to fetch the small bag they had brought, but not without Quirrel slapping his arm before he could leave.  
“Don’t say that!! Not like this at least!” he shouted after him. Cloth just looked at him with confused entertainment.  
“Okay, I’m curious now,” she said but Tiso was already out of immediate earshot.  
Quickly Quirrel turned towards her and hissed: “I got a small extra gift for you too, but I’ll give it to you later, because I don’t know if you… you know?”  
“I don’t,” Cloth said, now just confused. “What is this about?”  
“It’s trans-related and I don’t know how many people you're out to here, and if it would be weird or anything.”  
Cloth laughed. “Oh Quirrel, Tiso is probably the only one who doesn’t know,” she said.  
“What do I not know?” Tiso asked as he returned with the present.  
“Nothing important,” Cloth replied as she took the wrapped box from him.  
“Boooo,” Tiso pouted but didn’t ask further. “Well, open it!” he said instead and Cloth picked at the wrapping.  
Quirrel and Tiso both watched in anticipation as Cloth revealed the box of the collectible action figure of a former wrestling champion.  
She gasped.  
“Oh my god, Bug Van Damn, I can’t believe it,” she grinned widely. “You’re amazing.”  
Cloth proceeded to hug them both again.  
“Is that why you took pictures of my room? To check with Tiso which one I might still miss?”  
Quirrel shrugged with a sly smile. “I mean, I don’t really know anything about wrestling.”  
“And I’m not at your place as often,” Tiso added. “It was a team effort.”  
“And what an effort, man, I can’t wait to put him on my shelf! Thank you both so much!!”  
Quirrel exchanged a look with Tiso, who looked pretty damn proud of himself.  
When Quirrel had shown him the pictures he had snuck when Cloth was in the bathroom, Tiso had gone on endlessly about who the characters all were. How they were all from two separate timelines, that they all used to be champions of various letter variations. Quirrel hadn’t exactly been able to follow that well. When Tiso finally picked a fighter for them to buy he seemed very confident in his decision. And it was obvious how content he was with himself for being right.

The evening was a pleasant one although it grew gradually louder as most of the guests got progressively tipsier. When the last guests had arrived they had not only nearly doubled the amount of snacks but also brought a karaoke game which many guests were already drunk enough for.  
Later that night Tiso was hanging out with the other guys of the gang on the couch and was tied up in a racing game. Quirrel found himself in the kitchen area again with Cloth, Tamer and Hornet. Cloth was mixing up cocktails for Hornet and him while Tamer was drinking a glass of apple juice.  
“You don’t wanna try the cocktail?” Quirrel asked her as Cloth handed out the finished drinks.  
Tamer shook her head. “I gotta drive home, man,” she said. “And when I drink, I drink.”  
“You have a car?”  
“Motorcycle,” she corrected him.  
“You could stay sober or just stay here…” Hornet drawled and leaned against her side, looking up at her almost pleadingly. Tamer laughed and rubbed at her neck lovingly.  
“You’d like that, huh?” she asked with a smile and Hornet hummed as she leaned into her hand.  
Cloth rolled her eyes. “Get a room, you two. I happen to know you have one here,” she said, making Quirrel snicker.  
“You’re drunk, princess,” Tamer just said, completely ignoring them. “And I really need to get home. I still have some takeout at home that’s gonna colonize the rest of my fridge if I don’t eat it soon.”  
Hornet let out a defeated huff and Tamer kissed her on the forehead.  
Quirrel smiled a bit sadly as he watched. With a short glance towards the TV he made sure Tiso was still hard focused on the video game.  
“I really envy you guys,” he said when he was sure Tiso wouldn’t hear him. “You’re just… together, and nobody cares.”  
Cloth looked at Quirrel with a tilted expression and Hornet pulled away from Tamer.  
“Sorry,” she said, a bit embarrassed.  
“No! Don’t worry, I- that’s not what I meant. I just wish I had the guts to be as open as you are.”  
“I mean, it’s obviously easier with a partner,” Tamer offered and pulled Hornet back against her side.  
“Also it’s totally understandable that you’re worried about what Tiso might make of it,” she added.  
Quirrel tried to wash down the knot that was threatening to form in his throat with the cocktail he was still holding.  
“I still firmly believe it wouldn’t be an issue,” Cloth said but before she could say more Quirrel interrupted her.  
“Oh, I totally forgot, hang on, let me grab your present real quick now that Tiso is distracted!”  
Not knowing when Tiso’s reckless playstyle would cost him too many matches and have him lose interest in playing, Quirrel rushed to his jacket and pulled out the small softcover book he had stuffed into one of its pockets.  
“Sorry, I didn’t come around to wrapping it,” he said as he handed it over to Cloth.  
“Trans people of history,” she read off the cover.  
“It’s just been updated last year, apparently,” Quirrel said.  
“Why isn’t Tiso allowed to see?” Tamer asked and Cloth giggled.  
“Because he’s the only one here who doesn’t know that I’m trans. And Quirrel is just too considerate.”  
Quirrel puffed up visibly. “What? How is that a bad thing?”  
Hornet giggled and Tamer shook her head with a grin too.  
“You know what? Fuck it,” Cloth said and squeezed past Quirrel, walking straight to the couch the other guys were playing games on.  
“What is she doing?” Quirrel asked, a bit nervous when he saw her speaking to Tiso.  
Tamer and Hornet both just shrugged and Quirrel tensed when Cloth returned, Tiso in tow.  
“What’s up, what’s so important?” Tiso asked, looking at Quirrel and the other girls, as if they knew what was going on.  
“Nothing bad, I just thought it would be fair to update you, because everyone here knows, except you.”  
Tiso frowned. “Yeah, you’ve hinted at shit like that, what is it?” He casually rested one arm on Quirrel’s shoulder and leaned against him like it was nothing out of the ordinary.  
Quirrel meanwhile hoped he wouldn’t notice how he was shaking slightly. Was Cloth really going to out herself to Tiso right here and now? Quirrel wondered if she was sober enough to realize that she was risking an escalation at her own birthday party.  
No matter, she didn’t beat around the bush.  
“I’m trans,” she said plainly.  
Tiso pulled his arm off Quirrel’s shoulder and raised both hands. “Woah, wait, really?”  
Cloth nodded.  
“You said this was nothing important! This is a huge deal though! This is a huge deal, right?” Tiso was rather asking Quirrel than Cloth and he just shrugged, a little lost.  
“So, uhh, you want me to call you a guy now? Is that what’s up?”  
“What?” Cloth recoiled. “No, ew, been there, done that, didn’t like it. Ugh, how to explain this simply…?” Cloth rubbed her forehead and Tiso frowned. “I was born male but I have transitioned and am a trans girl now.”  
Tiso looked more confused than before.  
“So… nothing… is different?” he asked slowly and Cloth nodded with a slight shrug.  
“Then, why tell me?”  
“Why, not? It’s not a problem for you, or is it?”  
Tiso looked between her, Quirrel, Hornet and Tamer, all of them watching for a reaction. Then he pulled a face.  
“Really? You’re still going on about my fuck up with Tamer?” Tiso sounded annoyed all of a sudden. “Look, I said I was sorry, okay? I didn’t mean it! And no offense, Cloth, but I don’t want to get into your pants! So I don’t care!” He threw up his arms as he stomped back towards the group he was sitting with before. “I don’t! Care!” he repeated loud enough for Quirrel and the others to hear.  
Only when Quirrel watched him flop down in one of the armchairs again did he turn back around to the girls.  
“See, I told you he wouldn’t care,” Cloth said matter-of-factly.  
This was no real argument, Quirrel was sure. His case was wildly different. But he was too drunk and tired to argue.  
“I don’t think he’s over you,” Hornet giggled to her girlfriend and Quirrel drank the rest of his drink in one go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, yall want a fun little countdown?
> 
> -3-


	38. Comfortable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso is comfortable around Quirrel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres a shorter chapter again, but the next one is already on the way! ^0^

The time before lectures started again was limited, but Tiso was determined to make the most of it – and by that he planned to do only the bare necessities for college and spend all the remaining time having fun. When the weather allowed it, the whole gang would meet up to hang out in town or laze around the park. Most days however were cold and Tiso was happy to then stay indoors with Quirrel.  
Cloth would join them sometimes (or they would go hang out at her place) to play games, watch shows or just sit and talk.  
At first, Tiso was not too comfortable hanging out with her. After her outing at her birthday Tiso couldn’t shake the feeling that he had overreacted and said something out of line again – but as Cloth treated him no different from before, the whole thing was completely forgotten and off his mind soon enough. Plus, he was still preoccupied with the sudden rushes of giddiness and heat waves washing through him when he was hanging out with Quirrel alone, which was still most days.  
Sometimes, it was just absolutely chill and nice to just sit on the bed next to each other and watch some shitty action movie. But the next second he’d grow tense, way too self-aware and his fingers tingling, with the trigger sometimes being something as small as Quirrel laughing quietly at a terrible joke or cheesy line from the running movie.  
It was simple enough to frown away the little smiles that would try and creep up on him, whenever he caught Quirrel mumbling to himself when lost in a book. It was easy to tell himself that he needed to eat something whenever he felt that odd squeeze in his stomach. However, it was not as easy to stay blissfully unaware of his denial.  
And on the other hand, he couldn’t really complain about it.  
Spending time with Quirrel was nice. Playing games with him was nice. Studying together was nice. Listening to him typing on his laptop and thoughtful humming was nice. And having reached that casual, comfortable point in their friendship where they could lean against each other during movies was nice. Especially that.  
And maybe it was alright to shuffle into a more comfortable position to lean his head against his shoulder. Maybe it was alright to move and sit next to him with his phone, when he was reading. The impulse was there, but Tiso didn’t dare act on it.  
It could all backfire terribly. Maybe the moments when Quirrel would tense up as soon as he was propped against him were signs more of discomfort than anything else. Maybe he was just too good of a friend to tell him to shove off because he never did. So it was shockingly easy to stay like that, shoulder against shoulder until the credits rolled.  
It was comfortable even.  
It wasn’t a new normal; the normal was still them sitting on their own beds respectively, occupied with their own things. But when it came to videogames or watching movies, it was no longer unusual to sit close enough for at least their elbows to be touching. During movies it was simply more comfortable that way and while gaming it was easier to shove Quirrel when he was winning. And those small things undeniably made Tiso happy.  
Another thing was the workouts. Tiso needed only to prod a little to get Quirrel to exercise with him on the days they had agreed on. And once they had gotten camping mats it took even less convincing.

When Tiso came out of the bathroom after one of their training sessions, freshly showered, Quirrel was busy shaking his thermos at the kitchen sink, mixing some of his instant coffee.  
“I’ve been meaning to ask again,” Tiso said and sat on his bed, stretching and rubbing his arms, a little sore from the workout. “There’s this hockey match coming up in three days, remember? If you want to come with, Tamer said there are still open tickets.”  
It was something Tiso had been looking forward to for a while now. He couldn’t remember when he last had seen a life sports event that wasn’t on campus, and going with the whole gang would probably be super fun. But Quirrel laughed in a way that already made clear, it was going to be a no from him.  
“I know,” he said. “Cloth has asked me, too. But I think I’m gonna pass.”  
Tiso frowned. “Are you sure?”  
“It’s just loud,” he said, pouring some of the coffee into a mug.  
“That’s true, I guess,” Tiso admitted. “But it’s hockey. Hockey is hilarious. A third of pretty much every match is all scuffle on the field.”  
Quirrel raised a brow, clearly doubting the fun part of that.  
“It’s really funny, they are all in padded gear, so it’s a lot like watching wet pillows getting whacked together.”  
“Wow.” The image of that actually made Quirrel smile a little and Tiso’s stomach cramp a lot. He should get one of his granola bars later.  
“You sure, you don’t want to come?”  
Quirrel shrugged. “I think I’d really rather stay home.”  
Tiso frowned harder. “I really wanna go, though,” he mumbled.  
“I’m not stopping you. I bet you’d get a kick out of it.”  
“Oh, I absolutely will,” Tiso grinned. “But I also feel like you’re gonna miss out.”  
Quirrel laughed. “I’m not, believe me. This just isn’t my kind of stuff.”  
Tiso knew that Quirrel was right, but he still would rather have him come with. At the same time however it was hard to imagine him amongst the hollering fans.  
“Suit yourself,” he eventually said and Quirrel shrugged.  
“I can use that time to collect some nice math exercises off the internet.” He was grinning at him, in a playfully sadistic way.  
“Oh, you’ve got to be joking,” Tiso groaned.  
“You know, I’m not,” Quirrel said. “We’ve been neglecting that a bit lately. Chemistry too. We need to get back into it.”  
“We?” Tiso asked, pretty sure that Quirrel was more concerned about his abilities rather than his own.  
“I want to stay on top of things too, Tiso,” Quirrel replied.  
Tiso let out a sigh.  
“Alright, fine, great. I kinda hoped you wouldn’t notice…” It was a lie; with all the nice free time and easy entertainment Tiso had completely forgotten about studying – and apparently, Quirrel as well.  
“Asshole,” Quirrel laughed and drank from the coffee which by now had apparently cooled off enough.  
Tiso grinned at him. “Don’t you dare pick hard stuff; I swear, I will pay it all back in double in our next workout.”  
“I’m not afraid of you,” Quirrel sneered.  
They glared at each other before their hard expressions crumbled in favor of snickering.  
“But today, we’re gonna watch the season finale, right?” Tiso asked, hopeful.  
Quirrel rolled his eyes. “Alright, sure,” he said. “I don’t think I got the capacity for studying right now, either.”  
Capacity was a good word for it. If Tiso was completely honest, he would have had the capacity to study at least a little bit. But he would much rather spend the rest of the day together in front of the same screen, warm and comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...no worries, I wont kill anyone. Anything like that I would have tagged.  
But tick tick goes the countdown!!
> 
> -2-


	39. Group activity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes to see a game  
Quirrel stays home

It was cold, but not too windy, and thankfully the skies were mostly clear when the group met up at the park. As Tiso and Quirrel approached they were already greeted by Tamer shouting from the distance.  
“Don’t tell me the nerd actually changed his mind!”  
“I have not!” Quirrel replied as they arrived at the group and greeted each other with hugs and handshakes.  
“Sorry guys, I tried my best,” Tiso added while hugging Cloth who mumbled something about it being a shame in response.  
“Really, I’d be annoyed. Bored at best,” Quirrel said with an apologetic smile.  
Tamer shrugged. “Eh, don’t sweat it. Hornet didn’t wanna join either. I guess I’ll just pawn the remaining tickets off to some randos, or just give them away. It’s not like I paid for these, or anything. My friend pretty much dumped them on me.”  
“At least there’s no loss on your end,” Quirrel commented and Tamer shrugged again, grinning.  
“If you’re not coming with, then why are you here?” Cloth asked.  
“I gotta run some errands. So why not take the chance to say hi at least.”  
“Cute,” Cloth commented and punched his shoulder hard enough for him to wince.  
Tamer clapped her hands together. “Alright, since we’re all here already, do we wanna head to the train station?” she asked.  
“I don’t see why not,” Tiso said.  
“Then I actually gotta go head the other way, folks,” Quirrel said, pointing in the vague direction of the grocery store near campus.

When Quirrel was done saying goodbye to everyone and was done hugging Cloth, Tiso too gave him a hug. It was a quick one, but still it lasted long enough for Quirrel to catch Cloth’s eyes over Tiso’s shoulder and her expression made him want to kick her.  
“Have fun!” he said instead when Tiso had let go again.  
“Will do!” Tamer said, giving a small wave as the group turned and left.  
Quirrel took a short, deep breath, and then headed the other way.  
He had barely made it out of the park when he received a text from Cloth that read:

“Looks like hanging out with us turned Tiso into a hugger  
You’re welcome adggeeafeggsdeg”

Quirrel took the time to stop and reply:

“Next time we meet I will slap you”

But he really should meet up with Cloth again soon. They hardly had had any hangouts without Tiso – which wasn’t a problem per se, but he needed to talk to somebody about how physically liberal he had grown and what he should make of it. Quirrel didn’t mind the contact by any means, he welcomed it, even. But it was also making it a little hard to keep his crush in check. It made sense for them to be close as friends, so him being more affectionate probably meant nothing beyond that. It was just a level of platonic intimacy Quirrel did not quite know how to deal with yet. And a talk might be all it needed to defuse this a little.

It was nice to have the flat to himself for a while. Quirrel put on some music on his laptop while he unpacked the groceries. It had been a while since he last had listened to anything without headphones. He made some coffee, got comfortable on his bed, and took out his phone. Since Tiso was home most of the time when he was, he didn’t get to make regular private phone calls with his mother. Now was a good chance, so he decided to give her a ring. He got one dial tone before the connection broke and a prerecorded service message let him know that she was unavailable. Nothing too out of the ordinary; maybe her phone was off. He didn’t get to worry about it too much anyways since only shortly after his phone buzzed.  
It was another message from Cloth, no text however, just a photo of the group in front of the stadium. They weren’t the only ones there; a lot of groups had gathered in front of the place, many more hardcore fans judging from their attire.  
But the focus of the picture was the gang; however Cloth was not in it. Probably because she was the one who took the picture.

“Weak, send a group selfie,” Quirrel texted back.

It took just a minute or two before Cloth sent him another photo, a selfie from a terribly unflattering angle and her pulling an absolutely ridiculous face. Behind her Tiso was doing the same.  
The picture actually made him laugh a bit.

“Damn, now I almost regret not going,” he replied.

And he actually did, but only a little. Quirrel never had had a circle of friends that hung out together so frequently, and while the group was fun, it was still nice to have some alone time to recharge as well. Missing a live game of hockey really wasn’t that much of a loss, especially since Tiso would probably tell him about it in excruciating detail anyway. The thought made Quirrel smile a little, because that was actually something he was looking forward to.

“agegdesgagg awwww maybe we’re gonna do this again with a smaller game sometimes  
It’s already pretty crazy and we’re not even inside yet………..”

was Cloth’s next text. And almost immediately after that he got a message from Tiso too:

“Stop texting Cloth, it gives her excuses to hop out of our heated argument!!!  
Also which form of hockey is better? Field or ice? We need a tie breaker.”

Quirrel snickered and typed back:

“I’d say ice hockey? I don’t know sports, man  
But ice hockey sounds faster”

“Damn right,”

was Tiso’s immediate reply and Quirrel grinned at his phone.

“Don’t get too happy, I’m still gonna prep some exercise work for math and chemistry”

Quirrel didn’t know what kind of response he expected, but it definitely wasn’t anything like the “Lol, alright,” and laughing emoji Tiso replied with. He really was having a good time being out with the others.  
Maybe Quirrel should just go ahead and join in if another opportunity like this came up. But for today he would make the best of the time he had for himself.

Finding exercises to study with online wasn’t all that hard, but Quirrel really was out of the loop for some stuff. He had to reread his own notes at times to fully remember how to solve certain problems.  
It was already late and long dark out when he decided it was time for a break.  
While he was working he had set his phone on mute and wasn’t too surprised to have received a few texts just a little while ago.  
The first one was another photo from Cloth, a proper group selfie with everybody in it, apparently after the game since it was taken outside again, but the sun had already set.

“Perfect, I’m gonna frame this and you can’t stop me,”

He texted her and then checked what Tiso had sent him.

“Hey dude, game’s over, we’re gonna stay around for a bit though and probably eat something if we find a fast food joint, so not sure when I’ll be back lol. Want me to grab you a pizza or something?”

After that was a photo of a cardboard bucket of sorts with the comment “Check out how huge the peanut servings are here. We all shared one single one and it was plenty.”

Quirrel snorted. It was just like Tiso to not even mention anything about the game, but to get hung up on something like the size of a cardboard bucket instead. Not that Quirrel minded; it didn’t matter much what Tiso was going on about. If he was interested in it, it usually was interesting listening to it as well.

“No worries,”

he typed out.

“I’m just gonna make some noodles  
Also that’s a LOT of peanuts aadsf are you sure you need more food?”

After sending the text Quirrel got up and stretched. He filled the electric kettle and picked out a package of instant noodles he had just bought today.  
The water was already boiling when his phone buzzed.  
Quirrel opened the package of instant noodles and put them into the hot water before checking the message.

“Dude, I sent that text about two hours ago, I thought you were already sleeping. We’re already at the train station, so Imma be home in another hour I hope. A bit more probably bc I’ll have to walk from the station.”

Surprised Quirrel checked the time. And indeed, it was already way past 10pm.

He was just about to say how he had totally lost track of time when another text popped up.

“Also what’s aadsf mean?”

Quirrel laughed.

“Nothing, it’s just a keysmash,”

He replied.  
Since it was already pretty late, Quirrel doubted he would get Tiso to do any studying. But he would be done eating when Tiso was going to be back, so if he wasn’t too tired, maybe they could watch another movie together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -1-
> 
> honey_you've_got_a_big_storm_comin.gif


	40. Take off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloth and Tiso get the chance to have a little heart to heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter has a few topics that could be triggering for certain ppl, especially from the lgbtq+ community. Check end notes for content warnings.
> 
> Holy christmas, this is the longest chapter yet with nearly 4k words :'D And I'm afraid the next one is gonna be just as long..... orz  
Oh no... I dropped my monster content... that I use for my magnum ship...
> 
> Huge thanks to the rice fam and TJ for helping me out so much with betareading and cheering me on (ilu guys <3)

The train Tiso and the gang were riding was mostly empty and Tiso was somewhat grateful for that.  
The day had been great, but he was also pretty tired and glad they were on their way home by now.  
“My friend could get more tickets pretty much whenever,” Tamer gloated “I don’t actually know where he gets them from, but who cares? We should do this more often!”  
Cloth agreed with a wide grin and Tiso nodded. “Maybe I can talk Quirrel into joining us next time."  
Cloth, turned towards him, their knees bumping as she did.  
“You’re slowly turning him into a sports fan, dude. First the workouts, now you want to drag him to live games-“  
“Workouts?” Tamer asked, with a tilted smile.  
“Yeah,” he said. “I talked Quirrel into working out with me twice a week, since I’m not doing athletics or basketball at the moment.”  
Tamer laughed. “Okay, I would actually pay to see that. How many pushups does he manage?” She cackled.  
“More than you’d think,” Tiso replied with a slight smile. That only made Tamer laugh harder.  
“You mean bitch, stop laughing!” Cloth said, but not without grinning a bit herself.  
As the girls continued bickering at each other Tiso checked his phone again.  
Sure enough, Quirrel had sent him another reply, hopefully on what that weird abbreviation was.  
His reply read:

“Nothing, it’s just a keysmash,”

Tiso looked at the text, a little confused.  
“What the hell is a keysmash?” he asked out loud and immediately Tamer’s attention snapped to him.  
“You don’t get to do that!”  
“Don’t yell at me!” Tiso waved her away, taking care that she didn’t swat his phone out of his hands. “What the fuck do you mean? I don’t get to do what?”  
“You don’t get to do keysmashes! Those are for gays only!”  
“You’re still yelling,” Cloth reminded her and Tamer puffed up.  
Tiso was still staring at Quirrel’s text, even more confused.  
“I don’t want to do a ‘keysmash’, Quirrel just sent me one. I was just asking what it means, you guys. I’m tired and my head is killing me, so for fucks sake, stop screaming.”  
And Tamer did stop screaming. In fact, she went completely still. As did Cloth. So much that it caught Tiso’s attention.  
“What?” he asked.   
Tamer and Cloth just exchanged almost nervous glances.  
Something was up. Tiso looked at them, then back at his phone. It was as if he was faced with a riddle he should know the answer to.  
He almost felt as if he had already cracked it, but his brain was too tired to catch up. But once it did, it felt as if Tiso’s heart just stopped.  
Almost frantically he typed “keysmash” into the search bar to look it up.  
And true enough, the urban definition stated that it was an expression of undefined emotion and barely spread beyond the queer community.  
He looked up from his phone and then at Cloth who sat frozen, next to him. Tamer was pulling a grimace as if she had just stuck her hands into something disgusting.  
“No fucking way...” Tiso mumbled, more to himself, but still loud enough for Cloth and Tamer to hear. The rest of the gang was still too absorbed in conversation and apparently hadn’t caught any of it so far, but they definitely heard what Tiso said next.  
“Quirrel is gay?? Are you guys serious?!”  
It sounded almost like an accusation, and he said it loud enough to catch everybody’s attention. Tiso didn’t know what to feel. He felt winded. Confused. Lied to.  
“Tiso-“ Tamer started, but he didn’t even listen. Instead he texted Quirrel back.

“Are you gay?”

“Tiso,” This time it was Cloth trying to catch his attention by placing a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged her off.  
“Did you know about this?” he asked her. He was angry. He didn’t even know why, but his hands were almost cramping around his phone, he was gripping it so hard. “Did you all know about this?”  
It was very quiet around him all of a sudden and Tamer looked at him, with a guilty expression.  
Tiso exhaled sharply. “I don’t believe this.”  
The others’ reactions left no room for doubt; his guess had to be correct. Why did they all know? And why had no one ever told him?  
He checked his phone, realizing that Quirrel had read the message. However, there was no reply.  
Tiso’s heart sank as he grew less angry and more worried. He maybe should have worded it in a more empathetic way. Or waited until he could talk to him in person altogether.

“I’m home soon,”

he added, and it was checked as read immediately. Again, no reply.  
The stop closest to college would come up next, and Tiso was suddenly glad that that was the case. He didn’t want to be trapped on the train any minute longer.  
“I gotta get home immediately,” he announced, voice toneless.

“Wait!” Cloth shouted after Tiso as he hopped off his seat, rushing to the next door. The instant the train came to a halt, Tiso pushed the button to open the doors almost frantically and immediately took off running once he could squeeze outside. He didn’t bother turning around to check if anyone else was following him. He just had to get home as soon as possible.

When he finally reached the dorms, his lungs were burning with the cold night air and his hands were shaking. So much so that he almost dropped his keys when attempting to open the door. Surprisingly he found it unlocked, and after only half a turn of his key pushed it open to stumble inside.  
The lights were on, and So was Quirrel’s laptop. On the kitchen counter stood a bowl with instant noodles, only half eaten.  
Tiso called Quirrel’s name, but got no response. He checked the bathroom. The lights were off, and It was empty as well.  
It was absolutely quiet, which wasn’t really anything Tiso wasn’t used to. But the circumstances were different and the silence was foreign and unnerving.  
Scanning the room for any traces of Quirrel, Tiso’s eyes were caught by the coat rack. Quirrel’s jacket was still there, his bag as well.  
He took out his phone to text him, hands trembling.

“Where are you??”

Ever since that first message he had sent him, Quirrel hadn’t responded to a single one. Leaving him on read. Taking a steadying breath Tiso tapped the call icon and held the phone up to his ear, hoping he hadn’t left his phone behind as well.  
It rang once. Twice. And disconnected. His blood froze.  
With shaking fingers he called him again, whispering to himself, “Please, please, please, please”, only to get disconnected again, sooner this time.  
He had fucked up. He had fucked up again and he needed to fix it, but Quirrel wouldn’t let him.  
He had to find him.  
When he stormed out of the apartment, Tiso almost forgot to close the door altogether, having to rush back to slam it shut. Hurrying down the stairwell, barely focusing on his surroundings and tripping over his own feet, he nearly crashed headfirst into Cloth and Tamer as they were coming up. Both of them were out of breath; they must have run too.  
“Tiso, what the hell?” Cloth huffed, pushing Tiso back once it was clear that none of them would be falling down the stairs due to the impact.  
Tiso tried to squeeze past them. He needed to get outside, he needed to find Quirrel. But Tamer’s hand grabbed his shoulder hard and forced him to a stand-still.  
“Calm down man, you’re all frantic.” She said firmly.  
Tiso tried to shrug her hand off but her grip held tight.  
“Quirrel’s gone,” he said quietly. Those few words already hurt his throat. He hadn’t even noticed the knot that had built there, choking him.  
The girls looked at him, worried, but let him continue.  
“He’s not home, he’s not answering his phone, I don’t know where he ran off to, I don’t-“  
“Tiso,” Cloth interrupted him. She took his hands into hers, forcing them to unclench. He hadn’t even noticed how hard his fingers were digging into his own palms. “Calm down. It’s gonna be okay.”  
“We’re here to help,” Tamer added and finally let go of him.  
Tiso tried to breathe deep, gathering whatever sense of composure he could, only to immediately lose all tension in his body and slumping against the wall.  
“He didn’t even take his stuff; his jacket is still here too. He must be freezing and I have no idea where he is,”  
“Tiso, shut up for a moment. We’re gonna find him,” Tamer said. “Chill.”  
Tiso pulled out his phone again. Still no response.  
“How am I supposed to chill if Quirrel is running around somewhere, with nothing but his phone, maybe throwing himself off some randomass bridge or in front of someone’s car-“ While Tiso was rambling he tried calling Quirrel again, but was disconnected once more. “And he won’t answer his phone so I have no idea where he is and all of this is my fucking fault!” Tiso’s voice hitched and his face was burning. He only barely withstood the impulse of flinging his phone down the stairs.  
“Dude!” Tamer must have noticed the twitch in his arm and had grabbed him again, if gentler than before.  
It was hard keeping his thoughts from racing, the scenarios he was imagining growing more and more grim.  
Trying to swallow the clump in his throat he forced himself to calm down, to breathe slower.  
“I’m sorry, I’m just worried,” he said, exasperated from the stress alone.  
“We’re worried, too,” Tamer said and patted his shoulder lightly.  
Tiso gnawed at his lip, his mind working at full capacity but still getting nowhere and orbiting around the same worst case scenarios over and over.  
“It’s not like him to take off like that,” he said. “He must have had some sort of plan where to go.”  
“Maybe he went to his parents’ place?” Tamer suggested.  
Monomon. Of course. Quirrel loved his mom; obviously he would feel safe with her. Tiso got his phone back out. Luckily he had exchanged numbers with her more or less on a whim when he had stayed over during New Year’s.  
But he had as little luck reaching her as he did with Quirrel.  
“Her phone must be turned off. Damn it,” he hissed. If she wasn’t available, would Quirrel be able to reach her either?  
“We shouldn’t just storm out without any direction.” Tamer scratched her arm absentmindedly.  
Cloth meanwhile was busy with her own phone, scrolling through her contacts and soon holding it up to her ear.  
“Who are you calling?”  
“Quirrel,” she put simply, and then again listened intently.  
“I tried that plenty of times, but he declines all his calls,” Tiso said, but Cloth motioned him to be quiet. For a brief moment Tiso held his breath and could have sworn he heard the tooting of the dial tone. Once, twice, far more often than Quirrel had allowed him to hear. And then Cloth perked up.  
“Quirrel?” she said quietly and for a moment they all froze.  
“Yes, it’s me,” she continued after a while, and listened with a relieved expression. “It’s okay. No, no, it’s okay, just breathe. Where are you?”  
She was talking to him. After declining his calls again and again, Quirrel had accepted hers on the first time.   
For a moment Tiso was happy that Quirrel had picked up at all, but that was soon overcome by anger. He was angry at Quirrel for accepting Cloth’s call and not his. Angry at Cloth for making Quirrel be more open with her. Angry at himself for not being a good enough friend for Quirrel to feel safe enough around.  
“Let me talk to him,” Tiso demanded, but Cloth raised her hand and turned away from the others.  
“I’m at the dorms, Tiso and Tamer are both here, too. No. No, it’s alright. We will find you.” She paused for a second. “I think so. Yeah, that’s not too far from here. Alright. Tamer might.”  
Tiso made an urgent noise to get Cloth’s attention, but she only glared at him and then turned to Tamer. It was like he wasn’t even there. Or rather like he was, but someone to steer clear of with this.  
“Quirrel is stranded at a bus stop, could you pick him up?”  
Tamer nodded instantly. “I left my bike at the park since we all met there. I’m ready to go whenever,” she said and Cloth nodded.  
Tiso grit his teeth, fingers clawed into the inside of his hoodie’s pouch. “Can I talk to him now?” he asked.  
Cloth took the phone from her ear and pressed it against her chest, expression sharp.  
“You can sit your ass down and keep your mouth shut for a second. Quirrel is okay and that’s all you need to know. Tamer will go pick him up and you are gonna sit here and wait and not make things worse for a change.”  
That hit harder than Tiso was ready for, and for a moment he felt his heart stall, throat growing tight. He knew Cloth was right; after all he was the reason Quirrel had just run off like that. Who knew how bad a state Quirrel was in now. He sure as hell didn’t. He never did. He never knew anything.  
Resigned and numb to the rest of the conversation, he climbed two steps higher to sit down at the top of the stairs, burying his head in his hands. They felt almost icy against his burning face.  
Below him he heard Cloth speak.  
“Quirrel, are you still there?” A Pause. “Yes, I know. But everything will be fine. Yes, I promise.” Cloth paused again and glanced up at Tiso. For a brief moment their eyes met and it felt like a knife to the gut.  
“Worried, if anything. Quirrel, it’s okay, I get it. But we gotta get you home, alright?”  
Tiso rubbed his arms. He was itching all over.  
“Go find a place where Tamer can see you easily, and stay there, okay? Good. And keep your phone at the ready, in case she has trouble finding you. Will that work? I’ll wait here. Yes.” Another pause. “I don’t think that will-“ She briefly looked up to Tiso again, then back down. “If you want to, of course. But I don’t think that’ll be necessary.”  
Tamer moved until she reached Tiso, but he didn’t notice until she sat down next to him.  
“Everything cool on your end?” she asked, and Tiso couldn’t stop a hectic laugh from bubbling up.  
“Of course not,” he said. “Look at her, talking to him like it’s so damn easy. He didn’t even answer my texts.” Tiso dug his fingers into his own arm almost painfully.  
“And how the hell do you all know what’s up? He never told me. I thought we were friends,” he said very quietly. “...I thought we were best friends.”  
Cloth was still on the phone with him, talking, asking if he needed anything beside a ride and his jacket. Tamer next to him huffed, scuffing her shoes on the ground.  
“You got it backwards man,” she said. “You two are friends. That’s exactly what makes this so damn complicated for him.”  
He didn’t get it. He didn’t get how being actual friends would make any of this more complicated.

Things moved from there in a sort of blur. The girls had maneuvered Tiso back upstairs and Tamer had grabbed Quirrel’s jacket only to leave to look for him, in such a calm way it made Tiso want to jump her neck.  
Cloth was busy at the kitchenette, making tea she had fetched from her place and tossing the soggy and cold instant noodles in the bin.  
Tiso felt overwhelmingly miserable and helpless. He hated how it was Cloth that had been on the phone with him. And he hated how it was now Tamer on the road with Quirrel’s jacket, on the way to pick him up and bring him home. All while he just sat uselessly on his bed, bouncing his leg and waiting, not even knowing how much time had passed since Tamer had left.

“Here,” Cloth dragged him out of his trance as she handed Tiso a steaming mug. He stared at it momentarily, before accepting it. It was warm, and strangely grounding.  
“Are you okay?” She asked, pulling up a chair to sit closer by him.  
Tiso just shook his head. Like hell he was. He felt betrayed and was pissed off. At how much closer Tamer and Cloth were to Quirrel, that no one had deemed him trustworthy enough to tell him. So many hurt feelings were settling inside his stomach that he was beginning to feel nauseous.  
All those times he had talked with him about girls and Quirrel just changing the topic. Tiso felt like an idiot.  
“Since when did you guys know?” he asked before he even realized it. “When did he come out to you?”  
Cloth sighed and lowered her mug.  
“That’s not important,” she said.  
Tiso glared at her. “What do you mean, “not important”? Of course it fucking is! When did he tell you!?”  
And why didn’t he ever tell him?  
“What makes you such great friends that he immediately answers your call?!”   
And why didn’t he answer his? Why wasn’t he good enough?  
Cloth’s expression grew serious, if not angry. Good. Tiso was angry too. Furious even.  
“Oh, of course you would ask that,” Cloth said, her voice colder than Tiso had ever heard before. “It’s just like you to not waste two thoughts on anything.”  
“Wha-“ Cloth interrupted him immediately.  
“You need to keep your mouth shut for a minute, because I’m talking now.”  
Tiso recoiled, but stayed silent, even though he could feel his hands begin to shake again, and that pressure build behind his eyes.  
“You just never think twice about what you say, do you? You just go on and spout whatever comes to mind without even considering that it might be out of line or hurtful. You’re impulsive and rude.”  
Tiso lowered his eyes, looking into his mug. Was he really coming off as such an inconsiderate ass?  
“I don’t mean to...” he almost whispered, and Cloth huffed sharply.  
“Oh I bet. Tiso, you’re fun to hang out with most times, but I swear, sometimes I could slap you. Remember when we still barely knew each other, when all this shit went down between you and Tamer?”  
Tiso nodded. His stomach dropped. Of course she was bringing that up again.  
“When you went and apologized to her and Hornet, I think that’s about the only self-reflective thing you’ve ever done since I met you. And I can’t even call it that!! Because I know how much Quirrel and I had to push you to do just that simple thing!”  
Tiso swallowed, and it made his throat sting. He couldn’t deny that she was right.  
“And you want to know how we all know that Quirrel is gay?”  
Tiso looked up at her, hopeful but also scared. The way she talked and looked at him had him anticipate that all of this was his fault. At this point he wouldn’t be surprised.  
“We know, because you gave him a panic attack back when you went off at Tamer for having a girlfriend. He was so scared of going back home that day, and that was because of something you did.”  
Thinking back to that day was hard. Not because he had forgotten it, but because he was remembering it in agonizing detail. How he had returned home late after stealing a bottle of cheap alcohol, only to dumb it after one gulp. How stiff Quirrel had stood in the doorway, staring at him blankly. How in the world had he misread him this badly? He must have appeared monstrous to him on that day. Hell, he probably still did. All those times when Quirrel would freeze up and get awkward around him, maybe it was whenever he remembered how disgusted Tiso might be, if he ever found out the truth.  
He wanted to punch himself. He felt cold, and like he was about to cry. And he wasn’t sure if he’d even manage to form any words in response.  
So instead, he forced himself to drink the tea.  
It was still very hot, almost too much so. It burned his tongue and throat, but not badly enough.  
He emptied the mug in one go while Cloth just watched him, face stern but the worry still clear. Apparently she was done with her rant.  
“I…” Tiso began, his voice hoarse and flat. Cloth didn’t interrupt him this time.  
“I didn’t mean to. I never meant to. I just-“  
Tiso sighed. He felt horrible, so horrible he couldn’t bear it. But probably not nearly as horrible as Quirrel did right now.   
“I didn’t mean to,” he said again and Cloth signed.  
“That’s another thing. You’re just too damn prideful to just admit to your fuckups and apologize. Instead you just make excuses, expect others to sympathize and then pretend it never happened.”  
Tiso rubbed at the mug’s brim. She was right again. It was just easier that way, and it worked well enough. At least that’s what it had always seemed. But if that wasn’t enough after all, he needed to step up his game. He didn’t want to think about all the things he put at risk if he didn’t.  
“I know,” he mumbled into the mug and Cloth’s face softened slightly. “I guess you’re still mad at me for what happened at your birthday?”  
Cloth blinked at him, and then snorted a short laugh. “Oh my god, are you serious? I mean, yeah. I guess I am. But granted, I prompted it and also you were pretty drunk.”  
Tiso winced. How many times had he insulted his friends? “You said I shouldn’t make excuses, but now you’re making them for me.”  
Cloth laughed again, a little more openly this time. “Wow, look at you learning!”  
She sounded sarcastic and Tiso shot her a glare. He was sure he looked pitiful, hunched over, and still close to crying. But he was still so angry. Even if more at himself now than her.  
“I meant what I said,” he continued. “But I guess I formulated it pretty poorly. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re trans or not. You’re just Cloth. That’s it.”  
Cloth smiled, wide and genuine. “See, was that so hard?”  
Tiso sighed, relieved to see her smile again. And then he nodded.  
“Super fucking hard,” he admitted. “I’m just not good with words.”  
“You’ll learn,” she said.  
Tiso nodded slightly, his chest drawing tight. He just hoped that it wasn’t too late for that yet.  
“I need to apologize to Quirrel too. For so many things. If he lets me.”  
He grabbed the empty mug a bit tighter. He honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Quirrel would avoid him now, moving back to Monomon’s until the start of the new term. Maybe he would still not come back after that. Hanging out with Cloth more and spending less time with him. He wouldn’t blame him, but the thought of it was terrifying.  
“All in due time,” Cloth said. And while Tiso was still anxious about how things would be between him and Quirrel from now on, and uncertain on how to act once Tamer would return with him, he did feel a little bit better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .........sooooooooooo, happy pride month?
> 
> Content warnings:  
-unplanned/unintentional outing  
-running from home  
-brief mention of the possibility of selfdestructive/suicidal behavior (very brief however, and noone gets hurt *points at happy end tag*)
> 
> If this is unsafe for you to read but you still want to stay updated with the story, feel free to ask for a washed out summary and I will try and do my best to provide. c:


	41. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tamer brings Quirrel home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so much longer than I had planned and Im SO SO SORRY for leaving u hangin with that cliffhanger so long ;-;  
originally i wanted to have this chapter finished when Ive posted chapter 40 already, not have u hang with the angst for too long, but then I ended up having MirrorDragon polish the hell out of it and also I managed to get into an accident and break my leg lol  
Dont worry, im gonna be fine, but I wont have access to my pc bc of that for a long while... its also why Im updating from my phone for the first time, so if the formatting happens to look weird, thats why :'D  
Ill fix that in post. uwu
> 
> Anyway, enjoy another longer chapter!! ^0^/

Since Quirrel had stepped off the bus, watching the headlights fade into the distance, he never moved from the stop. It was well lit and the glass panels protected him well enough from any winds, and besides that, he didn’t know where he would go anyway. His mother didn’t answer her phone and Quirrel’s keys were still at the dorms with the rest of his stuff. He knew he wanted to just go home, but he was unsure where that even was anymore. So he just slumped down on one of the plastic seats. They were cold and uncomfortable, but welcome nonetheless.  
As his heart began to calm slowly and the initial shock of it all wore off a little, it didn’t take long for him to realize how cold it actually was, especially now that he had gotten off the heated bus. Before that he must have been too caught up in his panic to even notice.  
Pulling his limbs tightly to his body, he shivered and hunched down, the low temperature stinging at his face and fingers like needle pricks.

He would have just taken the next bus back, if both his cash and ticket weren’t still in his backpack, which he had left in his rush. He really didn’t want to risk getting caught fare dodging. Not now.

Even after Cloth had called him, Quirrel felt only a little bit better. Once she had hung up, he had stared at his phone until the screen turned off on its own, the notifications of all those declined calls from Tiso hanging at the top of it, taunting him for his cowardice. He had tried to reach him quite a few times and Quirrel had given him zero chance to do so, every ring stressing him more than the last. But talking to Cloth had been easy enough, and he was thankful that he had pulled up the courage to answer her. She had known that he was gay for a good while, and he could trust her advice on what to do. But for Tiso, that news must have been like a harsh slap to the face. Quirrel didn’t doubt that whatever he tried to say to him right now would not have helped.  
Tiso was never great with words. But Quirrel still felt guilty for how that must have made him feel.  
Just thinking about that had his breath shaky again and eyes stinging. To distract himself, Quirrel dug his thumb into his other fingertips, making them tingle with the numbness from the winter air. It didn’t hurt, it just felt weird and strangely grounding. It gave him something to focus on while any other thought had his mind running in panicked circles.  
The wind rattled the glass, and the darkness was suffocating, even with the flickering streetlights. He had never felt more alone than in this moment and he wasn’t so sure if that was a good thing or not, given the situation.  
There wasn’t anything he could do until Tamer arrived, besides trying to not let his thoughts wander too much. Cloth had said that he didn’t need to worry about Tiso, but apparently that hadn’t been enough to stop him from feeling sick to his stomach..  
Quirrel was still terrified of what he might think. That everything would change. That their hangouts would never be the same again. That he would call off the workouts because that would be too awkward. That he’d ask him to move out so he wouldn’t have to worry about walking around with only a shirt and boxers on in summer. That he would read undertones into every favor and activity they had done together. That he’d see him for how disgusting and repulsive he really was.  
Quirrel curled more in on himself on the hard seat, digging his claws into his fingers harder.  
Would he even be so far off with all of that? Was he not desperately trying to get Tiso to like him, helping with studies and doing endless favours? Was he not sneaking creepy glances at him every time he had picked him up from basketball? Even watching him while he slept, when he had trouble falling asleep himself.  
Why shouldn’t Tiso hate him? Why shouldn’t he cut off all ties?  
Quirrel shivered, not sure if it was due to the cold or fear. He put his phone down on the empty seat next to him and wrapped his arms tightly around himself.  
For a moment he managed to not really think of anything, almost numb, just watching his breath come out in small clouds and disappear into the night, occasionally whipped away by a sudden breeze.  
The sky was pitch black, while the street around him was decently lit. The different colours of the traffic lights near him reflected off the signs around them, off the street, off his shoes if he looked closely enough.  
Quirrel tried to focus on that.  
Sometimes he would hear a car approach from the distance, and watch the headlights crawl over the buildings as it turned into a different street. There weren’t really any cars that would drive past him, and it was quiet enough for him to hear the mumbling of a TV in one of the apartments around him.  
After minutes of silently waiting and focusing on small details in the brick path, rubbing his feet over a crack, another bus pulled up. It opened its doors at him invitingly, a gust of warm air washing over him briefly, but Quirrel barely lifted his head. It wasn’t as if he would get on anyway.  
He must have looked pretty pathetic, curled up and shivering, only wearing a light sweater, because the driver actually called out to him.  
“You getting on, son?”  
Quirrel shifted to look at them. An old, hunched over bug, looking at him equally worried and curious.  
“Thanks, I’m waiting for someone,” Quirrel eventually pressed out, barely loud enough to be heard over the noise of the engine. Still, it was apparently satisfactory for the driver to close the doors and start the bus back up.  
Quirrel watched it drive away until it turned around the block and its taillights disappeared behind the wall of concrete, it’s noise soon out of earshot even in the dead silence of the freezing night.

In a strange way, he was glad about the temperature being so uncomfortable – there wasn't a single soul out wandering the streets at this hour, so he felt at least reasonably safe being on his own. He rubbed at his arms so that the cold wouldn’t sink into it too much. It was comforting, but also reminded him of how much he needed a hug. He was still busy rubbing his arms, when he heard the distinct sound of a motorcycle approaching. Quirrel didn’t actually think much of it, expecting it to pass him by, until the single headlight cut across his vision and the motor grew quieter as the vehicle slowed down in its approach.  
As the driver pulled the bike over and turned off the engine, kicking the stand in place, Quirrel looked up and watched. With the headlight switched off and Quirrel no longer blinded by it, he saw that the one heading towards him was Tamer.  
And really, who else would it be? Quirrel was just surprised that she was here already. Then again his sense of time was probably all shaken up, just like the rest of him.  
Once she stood in front of him he just stared at her, blankly. She didn't look as irritated as Quirrel had expected her to be, if anything she looked relieved.  
He had no idea what to say, if anything at all. He didn't know what to do either. The only thing he knew was that he wanted to see his mom. Badly.  
“I brought your jacket,” Tamer said after some seconds of silence and took off her backpack to pull it out. “You should put it on, dude. It’s cold as fuck.”  
It took him a good few moments to react, but once he did, Quirrel reached out and took it with numb fingers, awkwardly wrapping it around his back and worming his arms into the sleeves without getting up. The soft padding of the jacket added a new level of familiarity, which calmed him further. While he was still busy sorting it out, Tamer picked up his phone from the seat next to him to sit down as well, handing it to him once he was done.  
“How are you feeling?” she asked after another moment of silence.  
It was a simple question, but he had been busy trying to ignore how he was feeling, so it took him a while. The panic wasn’t as strong as before, but he didn’t feel exactly better either. It was as if some odd numbness had settled in his mind and was barely keeping the overwhelming emotions at bay in an unnatural, unhealthy way. It was horrible.  
Instead of answering, he just shrugged weakly and dug his hands into the jacket’s pockets. He was warming up very slowly, but he was warming up.  
“You look a bit shaky,” Tamer commented and Quirrel nodded slowly. He definitely felt shaky. Ever since he had gotten off the bus he hadn’t even tried to get up and walk around. Maybe his legs would give out the moment he rose from his seat. Maybe he would get hung up on his instinct again and just start running without even knowing where to.  
“It’s okay, take your time, dude.” She said softly, and cut him out of his train of thought.  
Quirrel shook his head. It didn’t feel okay. Nothing felt okay. He wished he could just keep running and forget about everything that had happened. Is this how Tiso had felt, back when he had run off after confessing to Tamer?  
His hands cramped up in his pockets as he remembered the horrible things Tiso had said to her that day. How it felt like his heart was caving in on itself with every word. How horrifically repulsive he had felt, shaken up and sick, even days after. Quirrel thought he had worked through that. And now he had a whole other level of issues to face.  
“Sorry for making you come out here for me.” Quirrel’s voice was so weak, it came out a whisper as he blankly stared ahead. “If you’ve got some cash I can borrow, I can take the next bus back. You don’t have to sit here with me.” It was bad enough that he was out here, miserable and cold. Tamer had nothing to do with it and Quirrel felt bad to have forced her to come out here, especially when it was so late.  
“Don’t be silly,” she said with a very small laugh before leaning forwards, her elbows resting on her knees. Her posture was relaxed and casual, but her expression was serious.  
“Like hell am I gonna ditch you like this. Tiso would probably kill me if I came back without you.”  
Just the sound of his name had Quirrel’s whole body tense up, his hands clenching harder. He bit the inside of his cheek to hold back a choke. He still felt awful for not replying to him, but at the same time he absolutely couldn’t bring himself to do so.  
“How is he?” Quirrel asked meekly.  
Tamer sighed. “Shouldn’t you worry more about yourself?”  
Quirrel turned to look at her, ignoring her question. “Is he mad at me?”  
Tamer searched his face for a moment, then huffed defeatedly and shrugged. “Wouldn’t say so,” she said. “I mean, he is kind of mad, but not really at you. You know how he is.”  
Quirrel looked at her questioningly. Of course he was mad. He was probably packing his stuff as they spoke.  
“He just completely misreads everything,” she continued. “He’s all pissed that you were already out to us while he had no clue. Interpreted the whole situation completely wrong.” Tamer looked at Quirrel with a weird kind of grin, waving her hand like it wasn’t a big deal. “He thinks you see him as a lesser friend, because you didn’t out yourself to him.”  
Quirrel swallowed, his fingers gripping the insides of his pockets harder. “Idiot,” he muttered. But at the same time he really had no idea how he’d explain himself to Tiso either. Tamer just laughed.  
“Yeah, what else is new?” She scoffed halfheartedly, facing more towards Quirrel, looking at him a bit helpless. “I’m sorry man. All of this kinda sucks. A lot. I’m sorry.”  
Quirrel pulled one hand out of his pocket to rub at his face. His hands were mostly warmed up and the numbness gone, so his face felt shockingly hot against his palm when he expected it to be cold.  
“It’s alright. It’s not like it’s your fault,” he mumbled.  
Tamer winced visibly at that and turned back to look ahead. “I think it kinda is though,” she hissed hesitantly. “I did steer the conversation into an unfortunate direction. Not intentionally, but still. So this kinda is my fault.”  
Quirrel looked at her from the side, studying her expression. He was used to her being laid back and careless, so the troubled expression she wore now took him aback. She looked straight ahead, maybe intentionally avoiding eye contact, brow furrowed and mouth in a tight line. She almost looked as miserable as he felt.  
“It’s okay,” Quirrel said, not entirely sure if he meant it. “I don’t blame you.”  
His words seemed to take the tension out of her a little, and she already looked more relaxed. But her face turned into an even harder frown.  
“Dude,” she said and clapped one of her hands on his shoulder so unexpectedly that Quirrel flinched. “You can be mad at me. For fuck’s sake, you should be!”  
Quirrel shrugged, pulling his hands out of his pockets to rub them together a bit, again trying to keep his mind distracted. He didn't know if he could feel angry at her. Or Tiso. Or if he could even feel anything right now.  
“I don’t want to be mad at you,” he said. “I’m just… tired I guess. Kinda exhausted.”  
“Yeah, I bet.”  
For a moment they just sat mutely next to each other while Quirrel still stared at his shoes. Sometimes a gust of wind would rattle the glass panels lightly and a blanket of clouds covered the few stars you'd be able to see from the city.  
Tamer was the one to break the silence.  
“Do you want to ride back soon? I have another pair of gloves with me. Otherwise I bet your fingers would freeze off.  
Quirrel clenched his hands just to see how cold they had gotten again. They were stiff, and stung as he bent the fingers.  
“I’m still pretty rattled,” he finally said. Tamer next to him just nodded sympathetically.  
“Yeah, I suppose you’re pretty shaken up from all this shit.”  
“Can we just sit here for another minute or something?” he didn’t want to bother her any further, but he really didn’t think he could get on her bike the way he was now.  
“Sure,” Tamer thankfully said and settled further back on her seat, leaning against the glass panel behind her, making it creak with the weight. “Let me know when you’re ready to leave, yeah?”

Quirrel had never ridden a motorcycle before, and he had no intention to ever do so again.  
Maybe it was due to the overall situation, or how tired he was, but he ended up wrapping his arms around Tamer’s waist so tightly that they had to pull over twice for her to check if he was still okay.  
It wasn’t that Quirrel had no faith in her driving skills, but the way that the wind whipped around them loudly, the cold still biting into his arms and hands and face, despite him sitting behind her and wearing a lined jacket and gloves made him feel horribly vulnerable. After a while he just squeezed his eyes shut against the headwind and gripped his own hands in front of Tamer, so that she wouldn’t notice how nervous he was.  
His grip was desperately focused on staying firm. It was painful enough for his own fingers to dig into each other and he didn't want to crack Tamer's ribs, and he tried to ignore the way his arms cramped up in the cold wind. So wh  
en Tamer slowed down and eventually came to a stop, he had to force himself to let go.  
“You need to get off first, dude.” Tamer said, keeping the machine upright with her legs on either side.  
Quirrel blinked a few times before he realized that they actually had arrived across the street from the dorm building. He was so dazed that he barely recognised it.  
“Oh, right,” he mumbled and shuffled around to slide off the bike somehow. His legs were stiff and refused to bend, so it was a struggle to move. Tamer got off quickly after he managed it and kicked the stand in place.  
While they had been on the road it was easy to just not think about how the rest of the day would go. It was just cold, fast and shaky. And while also unpleasant, he could focus entirely on that. Now that they stood in front of the building where he lived, the realization that he would have to face and possibly talk to Tiso was catching up with him way too quickly. How many times had he returned here? It was just part of his day, coming back after lectures, walking inside and just being home. Now the same building seemed to loom over him, dreadful and dark. It didn't feel like home at all.  
“Come on, let’s head inside and get you warmed up properly,” Tamer offered but Quirrel didn’t move. He knew he had to but his legs stayed firmly in place. She took a few steps forwards, but once she noticed him frozen in place, she turned back around, looking at him.  
“Tamer,” Quirrel said, his voice very weak and quiet. Talking was hard and he would have much rather curled into a ball on the spot and waited until Tiso had forgotten about him. He would prefer that over having to go and face him, explain himself to him. He felt like he was going to collapse anyway. Legs shaking and vision nearly beginning to spin.  
“I’m scared. I’m scared of seeing Tiso.” It was barely more than a whisper, but enough for Tamer to walk back to him and place both hands on his shoulders.  
“It’s going to be okay,” she said kindly, her thumbs pressing into him gently with an encouraging shake. “And if it’s not, I will personally come over and knock the shit out of Tiso again.”  
Quirrel laughed a bit at that, mostly out of nervousness.  
“Please don’t,” he said and Tamer flashed him a toothy grin in response.  
“You know I totally would though. This man deserves a beating for more reasons than I know, I’m sure.”  
Quirrel laughed again, a tad more genuine this time and Tamer looked at him somewhat triumphantly. He exhaled sharply to somewhat psyche himself up a little.  
“Okay,” He breathed out, standing up a little straighter. “Let’s go.”

They ran into Tiso and Cloth way sooner than Quirrel had anticipated. Both of them were sitting at the bottom of the stairs and immediately jumped up the instant Tamer and Quirrel entered the building. Seeing Tiso immediately dropped Quirrel's stomach like a rock and briefly rekindled his urge to run away again.  
But Cloth was at Quirrel’s side before that, hugging him with a sense of urgency, then grabbing his face with both hands to look him over, snapping his attention away from Tiso.  
“Dude, you scared the shit out of us! Are you okay?” she asked, studying his face up close. She looked frantic and stressed, but most of all relieved to see him safe.  
Quirrel nodded gingerly, although the worried treatment had him close to tears immediately.  
Cloth hugged him again, tighter this time. As she held him, Quirrel rested his chin on her shoulder and like that, his eyes met Tiso’s.  
He stood at some distance still, hands buried in his hoodie’s pouch and expression unreadable. The sight had Quirrel’s blood run cold with a whole mix of emotions, mainly being awful, stabbing anticipation. He couldn't bear it. The scrutiny. He felt like he was going to be sick.  
Only when Cloth let go of him did Tiso step closer and Quirrel just stood frozen, too afraid to approach, too afraid to turn and run. Simply dreadfully waiting for what would come next.  
Tiso looked at him, his whole face stuck in a serious, yet blank expression. But even behind his tightly closed lips Quirrel could see in the tension of his jaw that he was clenching his teeth.  
He should probably say something, but what would that even be? ‘Hello’? ‘Sorry I ran off’? ‘Am I disgusting to you’? ‘Are we still friends’? 'Do you hate me?'  
While his mind ran wild with possible openers Tiso spoke first.  
“I’m glad you’re back in one piece,” he said in an oddly stiff way. It was a comforting sentence, but the way it was said made him wish he was back at the bus stop.  
Quirrel swallowed. ‘It’s good to be back’ would have been a great reply. But all that he could manage once he opened his mouth was a dry sob.  
Tiso had his arms around Quirrel faster than he could shy away from, and he held him so tight it almost hurt. His touch felt like fire on his ice cold shell. There was little Quirrel could do other than freeze, arms hovering uncertainly in the air.  
“I was so worried, man! Don’t do shit like that!” he said and soon after pressed his face into his shoulder, muffling his voice in Quirrel’s jacket. “It’s good you’re back.”  
Quirrel felt more sobs claw at his throat and it got increasingly harder to swallow them back down. Eventually he hugged him back, placing his hands against his back tentatively. It was an effort to keep them from gripping into his hoodie as desperately as they had into Tamer’s jacket back when they were on the bike.  
Tiso only hugged him tighter, almost choking him against his shoulder.  
“I was so worried,” he whispered again, voice almost inaudible against his shoulder..  
“I’m sorry,” Quirrel finally managed to choke out, but not without audible sobs, and before he could stop himself he wailed. Cried in front of everyone, once again, right into Tiso’s arms. Every breath stung in his chest and even though it hurt so badly, it felt like something long overdue. It was as if a weight he had been carrying around for way too long was finally getting let go, released from his system, and that realisation was strangely calming to him. During it all Tiso refused to let go of him, his grip at Quirrel’s back growing only more resilient.  
He wasn't cold anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is a good enough part to leave on for a while due to my leg ;w;
> 
> hope yall are okay c:


	42. 41.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quirrel needs and gets some time to calm down further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, I'm back more or less :'D  
The stuff with my leg isn't done yet but I'm in a much better place already not being hospitalised anymore and all, so I'm able to sit upright again and type xDD
> 
> Thank you all for the patience and wellwishes!! <3
> 
> This chapter is a small inbetween and I will repost this as a spinoff once the next, proper chapter is done. c:  
Hope you all are doing well and didn't miss this story too much uwu

"Do you need anything else?"  
Quirrel sat on Cloth's bed, looking exhausted, deflated and infinitely lost.

He had no real idea how long he had cried. It had taken a while until the tears had stopped and it had taken even longer for him to let go of Tiso, to allow him to look at him.  
His eyes had been reddened too, a clear sign that Quirrel hadn't been crying alone. They all had sat on the stairs together for a while after that, until Tamer had gotten a call from Hornet, to check what took her so long. Only after checking that everyone would be okay had she left, and not without shooting Quirrel one more reassuring smile.  
Once she was gone, Cloth had giggled a bit and explained that Tamer had been looking forward to today because Hornet's mom wouldn't be home.  
Tiso had shaken his head with a grin, then stretched, then looked at Quirrel.  
"We should talk about all this," he had said. "But probably not now. You look super fucking done with the day."  
And he sure was. He still felt shaky and really didn't want to do anything other than lay down and sleep.  
And then Tiso had asked, very unexpectedly: "Where do you want to stay?"

The sad look in Tiso's eyes when Quirrel had asked if Cloth's offer still stood was impossible to miss. And he had almost laughed when Tiso had asked if he would still come home sometime tomorrow.  
Quirrel had been so afraid of having lost his best friend and it was bewildering to see that Tiso was worried about the same.  
But talking things out was going to be another event that would be emotionally very taxing. Quirrel definitely needed sleep before that and he was sure he would have trouble getting any if he stayed in the same room as Tiso.

So, Cloth had insisted that Quirrel took her bed while she set up an inflatable mattress for herself next to it. As they settled in, she made sure that he was permanently provided with tea and chocolate, repeatedly telling him to speak up if he needed or wanted anything else.  
It was insanely late when they both were finally well wrapped up under blankets; even without the crazy events of the evening Quirrel would have been tired by now. But as things were, he was almost deliriously exhausted and the only thing keeping him from passing out on the spot was the emotional turmoil still raging on in his mind.  
Cloth had set up her small desk lamp in a way that it illuminated the room on a very low level, so Quirrel could see her smile up to him from her makeshift bed.  
"Thank you," Quirrel mumbled at her, already sensing how he was drifting off. He wanted to say more, wanted to apologize for the trouble, but he was so tired.  
"No problem, really," Cloth whispered back and reached out to gently hold Quirrel's hand that he was dangling off the bed out of habit. As she soothingly rubbed over his knuckles with her thumb a strange sense of deja-vu pulled at his memory, but he was too sleepy to even try and chase it. So he just squeezed her hand back before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

His awakening was sudden and unwelcome due to his phone blasting its ringtone. Quirrel grumbled a curse, turned around and reached out to the side he usually dropped his phone off of - and whacked his hand fingers first into a wall that wasn't usually there. Quirrel cursed again, louder this time and held his hurt hand, disoriented.  
While he still tried to get his bearings back, he heard the familiar voice of Cloth mumble something from where a wall should be.  
While he still fished for his phone, now going after the noise instead of habit, the caller gave up and it went silent. Still, after some more fumbling around he found it.  
"Who dares…" Cloth grumbled. "It's too early…"  
As Quirrel looked down at her, lying on an inflatable mattress, the memory of last night slowly returned to him. That he was at Cloth's place, that he had cried a lot, that Tiso had hugged him for a very long time...  
Cloth stirred again and pulled the blanket off of her face, blinking up at Quirrel.  
"Hey," she said, managing a surprisingly convincing smile.  
"Sorry," Quirrel responded, genuinely.  
"Who was that?"  
Quirrel tapped at his phone, noting the time. It wasn't even that early anymore.  
"Oh damn, my mom…"  
He was very awake, very quickly.  
"Uh-oh." Cloth sat up as well. "Better call her back."  
Quirrel nodded, but before he was able to, his phone rang again and as soon as Quirrel registered it was his mom again, he picked up.  
"Quirrel, oh thank the gods!" Monomon said before he could even get a greeting in.  
"Hey, mom."  
"Oh, sweetie, you sound all groggy. Did I wake you up?"  
Quirrel rubbed his face with his free hand.  
"It's okay," he mumbled. At the end of the line his mother sighed.  
"I just now saw that you tried to call me, and you never call unless it's really important, but then Tiso tried to call me as well and… Are you okay? Did something happen?"  
Quirrel stopped to think about it for a moment. Was he okay? What did happen? And when his mind, still foggy from sleep, finally caught up and let Quirrel remember what had happened the day before in more detail, he started shivering slightly.  
"I…" he began, voice dying in his throat and Cloth moved to sit straighter, immediately alert.  
"I'm out. To Tiso," he choked out. "Mom, I'm out to Tiso, I don't know what's going to happen now, he wasn't mad, but he was, but not at me, and I didn't know what I should do so I ran, and I called you and you didn't pick up so I just left-"  
While he was rambling, Cloth had gotten up to sit on the bed next to him, her hand soothingly placed on his back.  
"Shhh, slow down sweetie. Take some deep breaths, alright? Are you home?"  
Quirrel took some more deliberate breaths, focusing on Cloth stroking his back slowly and looking at him with a sympathetic, gentle expression.  
"No, I slept at Cloth's, I… I don't know if I could have slept at home, Tiso said it's okay, but we haven't really talked it out yet because it was so late and…"  
Quirrel interrupted himself with a heavy sigh.  
"Is she with you right now?"  
Quirrel made a confirming noise, still concentrating to keep his breathing calm.  
"Oh, what a lovely girl. I'm so happy you have friends that look out for you so much. Unlike your mother, who can't even remember to deactivate plane mode on her phone."  
Quirrel let out a weak laugh which Cloth reacted to with a small smile.  
"Yeah, where were you?" he asked.  
His mother let out a small sigh.  
"I was just meeting with some old friends of mine, Lurien and Herrah, I think you've seen them briefly once. We caught a movie, so I set my phone to plane mode and then completely forgot about it." She sounded frustrated with herself.  
Quirrel laughed quietly. He had suspected something like that.  
"But please, what happened? You outed yourself to Tiso? How did that happen?"  
Quirrel swallowed.  
"I don't… It was an accident, I… We were texting, and then Tamer said something and… it's a stupid story."  
"It's okay, I'd like to hear it anyway. Is that alright? Or do you need time?"  
"I'm okay," Quirrel said before quickly correcting himself. "No, I'm not okay. But I'm okay enough to tell you what happened, I…"  
A bit helpless he looked at Cloth who gave his arm an encouraging squeeze.  
"I don't think I'll panic or anything."

And he didn't. It did take him a good few tries to get everything in the right chronological order and not spare the wrong details. Sometimes he would choke mildly on his words, but then Cloth would signal him that she was still there by gently stroking his arm while his mother waited patiently.  
Once his narration had caught up with the current moment, he fell silent, breathing deep yet calmly.  
His mother let out a short hum, almost sounding like a little laugh.  
"My poor boy, now I feel even worse not picking up the phone," she said and Quirrel sighed.  
"It's okay, I... it was okay eventually I just didn't know what to do at the time."  
"You befriended some amazing people, Quirrel. I hope you know that and don't take them for granted."  
Quirrel looked over to Cloth who was still watching mutely, her hand on his arm.  
"I know," he said with a wide smile which Cloth immediately mirrored.  
"But that is a stupid story in a way, I must say. I don't think I've fully understood what a keymash is, yet."  
"Keysmash, mom. And don't worry about it, it's not really important. What is important is, that I don't know how I'm going to face Tiso now... I'm less worried, but still... I'm scared."  
"Of course you are, sweetie. And it's going to be one hell of a talk, that's for sure. But I'm convinced that after it all you're going to feel better. And it's not going to break your friendship. Not after how he reacted yesterday."  
Quirrel nodded against the phone.  
"If anything, you're going to grow closer. And wouldn't that be something."  
Quirrel could clearly hear the wink in her voice and rolled his eyes. "Mom, please..."  
"I know, I know," she laughed "But seriously. This is quite the friendship and you didn't break it. Alright?"  
"Yeah," Quirrel said with another nod and a small smile.  
"Alright. Now, I demand you keep me updated on this," Monomon said. "And tell Cloth hi from me. I've hogged you for long enough..."  
"It's okay."  
"And if you need to come over, you give me a call and I'll come pick you up or get you at the train station or something."  
"Maybe later today..." Quirrel said. "Or tomorrow."  
"I'm hoping you will be comfortable enough at home, but you can come to me whenever you need to."  
Quirrel inhaled deeply. He had so many places offered to him for a home... his mom, Cloth and even Tiso. It really hadn't seemed as if he didn't want him around anymore.  
"I love you, mom." he said, very quietly but loud enough.  
"And I love you too, sweetie. Now go and give your lovely host some of your time, too."  
"Will do," he said with a chuckle. "Bye, mom."  
"Bye, sweetie, tell me how it went some time."

After the call Quirrel sat there for some moments, holding his phone in his lap.  
"You alright?" Cloth asked and Quirrel nodded.  
For the first time since yesterday he did feel alright. Safe. Taken care of.  
"Thank you, Cloth," he said and to his shock his own voice sounded like he was about to cry again.  
"Dude, it's okay," she said softly, rubbing his arm again. "It's okay if you still need time."  
But Quirrel shook his head. He really did feel okay. Still his chest did burn, and he did feel close to tears, but it was not the same dreadful feeling as before.  
"I think I'm happy," he eventually choked out.  
Cloth let out a hearty laugh. "You big softie," she said and pulled him into a very welcome hug.  
"My mom says hi," Quirrel said into her shoulder, his voice still a bit croaky. Then he hugged Cloth back, tightly. "Thank you for being there for me."  
Cloth squeezed him and made a confirming noise.  
"How does tea sound?" she asked after letting go again and Quirrel nodded happily.  
"Tea sounds good."


	43. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso and Quirrel get to talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter from before was intended as an inbetween, but Im actually gonna keep it, bc why not.  
Originally I didn't want to shake up the Quirrel-Tiso-POV rhythm i got going, but chapter 41 was already so long and I didn't wanna overdo it.... but yea whatever. More content for u guys, wahoo!!

Tiso had his blanket wrapped tightly around himself. The room was pitch black, but he still had his eyes wide open in the darkness.  
He really tried his best to fall asleep but couldn't, mind rampant and all over the place. His thoughts moved so fast it was nauseating.

Now that Quirrel was back and safely so, Tiso was able to think about other things, like how just a few hours ago he found out that Quirrel was gay. And how that somehow changed everything.  
Tiso had no idea how long he had been lying awake already, digging through his memory trying to find any indicators, any hints he could have picked up on to have found this out sooner.  
Quirrel never really liked talking about girls, which should have been an obvious pointer. But Tiso just thought that he didn't like talking about others in general. And other than that, he always had seemed normal. Nerdy, sure, maybe a little too much into studying but also normal. Like a regular guy.  
Then again Tiso hadn't been able to guess that Tamer was a lesbian or that Cloth was trans either. They all had to clearly tell him so. Maybe he was just too dense to catch on to this kind of stuff himself.

Tiso turned around under the blanket, staring at the wall. It felt as if he had been tossing and turning for hours already and it was hard resisting to check his phone for the time, or if Quirrel or Cloth had texted him. He couldn't fall asleep anyway and he was sure that picking up his phone would only fuel his paranoia further.  
He wasn't even tired. He had been, back on the train, after the game. He had been so spent he couldn't wait to get home. But now he was wide awake, antsy and his mind working in overdrive.  
He gave himself a few more minutes before giving up and grabbing his phone anyway. 5.43am. Tiso groaned. He wasn't exactly surprised, but seeing the time was frustrating nonetheless.

With another groan he rolled back around to sit on the edge of his bed, rubbing his eyes. Them burning was the only indicator that he should rather be sleeping.  
Instead, he sluggishly got up and dragged himself over to the kitchenette. He opened and stared into the fridge, uninspired and with nothing specific in mind. He really was just looking for any kind of distraction from the turmoil in his head, and for that anything was good enough.

A glass of soda, one dry slice of bread and a significant chunk of bologna later he sat on his bed again with an open bag of cheesepuffs and playlist of compilation videos on his phone. He had fully given up on trying to sleep and had turned on the lights a good while ago. Wasting the night with shallow entertainment and snacks was a much better way to kill time than unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep. However, after a while the videos faded more and more into background noise for his spiraling thoughts and before long he stared at his phone without actually watching, brow furrowed.

What if Quirrel changed his mind? Around what time would he come home if he decided to come back at all? Would it be too pushy to text him? To reassure him that he wanted him around?  
Tiso lowered his phone, lips pressed tightly shut. He really wanted him around. More than just that. Tiso hadn't allowed himself a lot of reflection on his own feelings lately, mostly with the goal to just forget about it all, push it to a downlow until he was over it. But Tiso had never been exactly good at keeping his own head in check. His thoughts were circling around himself more often than not, but not really in any constructive way. His emotional crisis about Quirrel was no exception; unsure what to make of it Tiso had tried to swallow his feelings and maybe subconsciously pushed him away.  
Talking with Cloth before had been eye-opening, even if not exactly in a pleasant way. It had shown him how he had fucked up plenty of times in the past for Quirrel to be uncomfortable around him, even if that was the last thing Tiso wanted. If he were honest with himself which was still mindbogglingly hard, he'd admit that he wanted to be the one Quirrel felt safest around. He wanted to be what Cloth so effortlessly managed and he ruined it for himself again and again with his crude remarks.  
It did make sense somehow, after all both Quirrel and Cloth could be counted as part of the same minority. Of course they'd be comfortable around each other and know what would be hurtful and offensive to say.  
From what Cloth had said, if Tiso was very careful and very observant, he could do better. He could learn to be a friend Quirrel would enjoy hanging out with. And maybe, just maybe, if Tiso tried extra hard, Quirrel would not have to run away if something as big as this came up again. Maybe he would come to him for help instead.

Tiso's thoughts were suddenly interrupted when he thought he had heard something outside the apartment door. He stopped everything, paused the video and listened intently. At first, he thought he had imagined it but then there was a very quiet shuffle and then a single, very quiet knock.  
While Tiso debated with himself whether to call out or not, or maybe just get up and open the door, it knocked again, a bit more determined this time.  
'Quirrel' Tiso thought and got up in almost a tumble, mind caught between racing again and completely blanking out. What did blank out however was his vision from jumping up so suddenly after no sleep at all. Tiso didn't lose consciousness but he did lose his balance, stumbling over his own feet and barely catching himself on the door, clinging to the handle.  
He managed to clumsily pull it open and was indeed faced with Quirrel, his jacket bunched up and tucked under his arm, pressing it to his body a bit harder than necessary. He looked at him somewhat shocked if anything, maybe a bit worried too.  
He opened his mouth to say something, but Tiso cut him off.  
"Hey! Man..." He still felt a little dizzy but stoop up straight and opened the door fully. Quirrel still looked at him, taken aback.  
"I just... fell," Tiso admitted. When Quirrel still didn't move and didn't say anything to that he added "Come in, please?"  
Tiso had said please before he even realized, and he would have loved to take it back immediately. But Quirrel nodded mutely and came in, to Tiso's relief.

Tiso stood and watched awkwardly as Quirrel hung up his jacket, took off his shoes and sat on his bed, hands on his lap, fidgeting.  
"Do you wanna..." Tiso started but didn't even know how to finish the question. Talk? Sleep? Leave again?  
"Tea? Or coffee?" Tiso heard himself ask eventually. He filled the electric kettle with water when Quirrel replied with a meagre voice "Tea."  
Tiso pulled open the drawer where Quirrel kept his coffee and tea and was a little overwhelmed. It was nowhere near Cloth's shelf of bagged and loose tea, but there were at least 6 different blends which was already beyond the typical 3 he could name from the top of his head. Quirrel must have noticed him staring into the drawer looking a little bit lost, because he got up and joined him at the counter shortly, pulling a dark brown box from the drawer.  
"Do you want any?" he asked. Tiso looked at him a bit dumbfounded, then nodded.  
"Yeah, why not." He took out two mugs as Quirrel pulled two teabags from the box.  
"You don't look like you've slept much either," he said with a side glance.  
Tiso shrugged and positioned himself at the kettle again.  
"Don't tell me you're surprised," he said with a tired smile. Quirrel, preoccupied with the mugs smiled too, if only a little.  
"I guess not."  
The silence while they waited for the water to boil was unbearable and seemed to stretch on forever.  
"Sorry for not sleeping here," Quirrel said after a while.  
"Don't worry about it," Tiso replied, eyes glued to the kettle, and they fell silent again.  
Once the water was boiling Tiso went to fill their mugs as Quirrel watched.  
"We should talk about it," Quirrel eventually said and Tiso almost spilled some of the water over the counter. "If that's okay with you."  
Tiso looked at the other. "Of course!" Tiso had spent the whole night thinking and trying to not think about this moment. Getting it over with would probably be the best to do. At the same time, he just now noticed how he had wasted the whole night with his thoughts spinning in circles instead of formulating a strategy for the inevitable talk that would have to follow. And now Quirrel was readily offering him to talk and Tiso was utterly unprepared. That realization must have shown in his expression because Quirrel looked at him a bit concerned.  
"We don't have to do this now..." he said.  
"No, no!" Tiso was quick to retaliate. "We should! It's just... I don't have anything to talk about."  
Quirrel looked at him a bit tilted, scared even. Tiso groaned.  
"No, that's not what I meant! God, I'm terrible with words..."  
Quirrel mutely took his tea and lifted it to his face, watching Tiso patiently.  
He did look sad in a way. And tired. And actually genuinely scared. Tiso felt like an idiot.  
"I meant that I've barely slept, if at all, because all of this just came as such a...." Don't say shock, he reminded himself. "...surprise. And with how much I've thought about it all I should have so many questions but... I don't even know where to start."  
Quirrel huffed a short and quiet laugh.  
"Let us sit, first."

Tiso sat on his bed with the tea in his hands, similar to how he had talked to Cloth yesterday.  
Quirrel sat on the other side of the room on his own bed much in the same fashion.  
"So I can just... ask? Whatever I want?"  
Quirrel laughed a bit into his mug. It sounded fake and nervous. "I'm not gonna promise to answer them all," he said and Tiso chuckled.  
"Fair enough."  
For a moment none of them talked, they just both mutely stared into their mugs, Quirrel occasionally glancing at Tiso expectantly.  
"So... you're gay?" was Tiso's first question eventually.  
Quirrel blinked a bit confused, then he laughed and it sounded a lot more genuine this time.  
"What?" Tiso asked, a bit miffed.  
Quirrel snickered still. "Wow. Didn't expect you to ask that, but it's a fitting question to start with."  
"Of course it is!" Tiso pouted. "Also you haven't answered that one yet. Maybe it was a bit ass to ask that via text first, but still..."  
Quirrel cleared his throat, his expression a lot more serious of a sudden. He stared back into his tea.  
"I... yes," he said. "I'm gay."  
Tiso gripped his mug a bit harder. Of course he was, that much was clear. However, it was strange hearing it from him. It made it sound real, no longer like a strong suspicion he had picked up from others tossing him very definite clues.  
"And since when?" Tiso continued asking. "When did you notice?"  
Quirrel sighed. It didn't sound annoyed, just thoughtful.  
"I don't really know," he admitted. "I guess I've always kind of had the suspicion. But I was never sure until middle school."  
"What happened? Don't tell me you ran into the guy of your dreams there."  
Quirrel gave a crooked grin that twisted Tiso's stomach into a tight knot.  
"Kinda..." Quirrel mumbled and quickly hid behind his mug, drinking a good gulp.  
The tight knot Tiso's stomach had turned into was suddenly dropped into an icy pit. He was torn between asking for all the details and changing the subject. But before he could make up his mind, Quirrel continued:  
"That's a shitty story though. Also I was still a child back then. Kind of anyway."  
That didn't sound as if Quirrel was keen on telling more from that time so Tiso decided it was best to move on.  
"But it stuck?" he asked instead.  
"What, me being interested in guys? Pretty much, yeah."  
"So you did lie when I was trying to get you to tell me your crush? It's not Marissa?"  
Quirrel snorted a laugh. "Of course I did. What else should I have told you? That you're terribly wrong because I'm gay?"  
Tiso shrugged. He couldn't imagine how he would have reacted back then. "I don't know man. I probably would have thought you were messing with me."  
"And I wouldn't have blamed you, honestly. It's quite the bomb to drop on you, especially since we're friends."  
Tiso perked up at that. "We're still friends?" he asked, sounding a bit too hopeful.  
The other laughed but it sounded hollow. "Wouldn't it be weird otherwise? Do you not want to still be friends?"  
"Of course I do!" Tiso replied hastily. "I was just afraid that you wouldn't want to anymore... because... you know..."  
His voice trailed off and got almost impossibly quiet.  
Quirrel just looked at him, questioningly.  
"You ran off. Cloth said you did because you are scared of me and I just... I kind of panicked. You're my best friend and I don't want to scare you off."  
Quirrel made a noise again. It wasn't a laugh, more of a hiccup and when Tiso looked up he noticed that he was crying again.  
He all but jumped up from his bed, spilling hot tea over his hand which he shook off with a curse, drying it on his trousers. He placed the mug on the table and awkwardly stood in front of Quirrel, hands hovering helplessly.  
"It's okay dude, don't cry! I mean, of course you can cry, but..." Tiso took a deep breath and then very carefully placed a hand on Quirrel's head.  
First he jolted, and it was like an electric shock that went up his entire arm. But then he looked up at him, again so lost that Tiso was overcome with another wave of helplessness.  
"I don't know, man!" he said. "It's gonna be okay, alright?"  
He pulled his hand back and Quirrel nodded, slowly.  
Tiso moved to sit next to him and Quirrel scooted over a bit, making room for him.  
"I don't want you to be scared of me," he said. "I don't want you to be scared, period."  
Quirrel next to him was fumbling with his hands, shoulders hunched and knees pulled together. He looked incredibly small.  
"You have your mom and Cloth and the others and me. Alright? There is nothing to be scared about."  
Quirrel nodded again, calming down visibly.  
"I was just worried stuff would change between us," he mumbled. "That things would get awkward."  
"Dude, nothing's gonna change. If anything, I will probably have forgotten it all in a few days," Tiso lied.  
Quirrel looked at him doubtfully.  
"Okay, maybe not, but nothing will change, okay? If I get weird around you, you're officially allowed to punch me."  
Quirrel snickered a bit at that. "Alright," he said and Tiso smiled.  
If Quirrel feared not being welcome any longer, then Tiso was determined to fix that. Quirrel and him had been hanging out for years already, so making him feel accepted should not be that big of a deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Do I get to make gay jokes now, since I'm best friends with a gay guy?"  
"Fuck off."  
"I'm just kidding!!"


	44. Untie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quirrel is bad at avoiding Tiso

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, hello, it's been a million years :'D  
Sorry for the longass wait, but it took me a while to get my groove somewhat back (its hard to focus on things lately, but today I finally managed)  
Hope u enjoy the next chapter uwu

At first, nothing changed at all. They had their usual hangouts, watched movies and played games. The only thing out of the ordinary was that at one point Tiso asked if Quirrel was still fine with doing workouts together.  
"Are you giving me an easy out?" he had asked, and they both laughed it off.  
After a few days however, Quirrel did notice a shift in Tiso's behavior. Nothing was different in its core, but everything he did seemed strangely stilted. He almost seemed overly attentive in an untypical and almost unnatural way.  
In all honesty, Quirrel had enjoyed it first. He wasn't bothered by him asking to watch movies together more regularly. He wasnt complaining about Tiso asking him to help him study almost daily, so he could ace his resit in math. And he most certainly didn't mind the casual hugs when one of them was leaving the house to run errands or hang out with others.  
After a while however Quirrel realized how quickly he was getting used to all of that. How he maybe sat a bit too close too quickly after Tiso had put on a movie. How he maybe developed a bit too mean a playstyle when they were playing videogames competitively, just so Tiso would shove him more often.  
The worst part was, Tiso was fully playing into it. When Quirrel sat next to him, he nestled even closer, with every hug it felt as if he was waiting for Quirrel to let go first. And while every gesture like that made his heart race, it was exactly that which made things harder. Not bothersome, but awkward.  
When talking to Cloth about this conundrum she first was elated. Happy for him. And completely missing the problem it raised.  
"If it's too much, you should talk to him," she said and Quirrel could only reply with a nervous laugh. In itself it wasn't that bad of an idea, but he had no clue how to word it without basically confessing. So he didn't.  
Instead he made sure to leave a considerable gap, be busy with his own studies more often, meet up with Cloth more frequently. When he was going somewhere, he slipped out in a rush to only have time for a quick wave and was preoccupied with his phone more often.  
But what was planned as a technique to not get too used to getting physically affectionate with Tiso backfired terribly. It worked for a short while, helping Quirrel keep his nerves in check at least a little, but only until Tiso caught on to it addressed it.

"Why are you avoiding me?"  
Quirrel was on his bed, buried in a book when Tiso asked him pretty much out of nowhere. Quirrel looked at him, confused.  
"Did I say something bad? You have to tell me, dude."  
Quirrel lowered his book. "No, you didn't do anything. No worries," he said and Tiso grumbled at him.  
"No worries..." he mimicked. "Dude, I can tell you're avoiding me. I'm really trying here, so if it's something I did, then please tell me."  
So that was what it was. He was 'trying'.  
Quirrel sighed, putting the book aside completely.  
"You don't have to 'try' with anything. Is that why you're hovering so much?"  
"I'm not hovering!" Tiso retaliated. "I'm just... I don't know, nothing should have changed so I don't see the problem."  
Quirrel thought about that for a moment. The main thing that had changed was that he was out to Tiso. And due to that he probably had started to subconsciously read a little bit too much into every little sign of affection.  
Quirrel winced. This was on him.  
"There is no problem, really," he started but immediately lost his train of thought when Tiso sat on his bed, inevitably shoving his legs out of the way.  
"Then what gives?" he asked again, obviously agitated. "You are very clearly avoiding me. Ever since the whole… thing that happened, I did my best to keep everything the same. To just... help you, you know?"  
Quirrel looked at him, tilted. "Help me? Help me with what?"  
Tiso fumbled with his hoodie. "Just... with everything. So that you don't think I hate you or want to avoid you or something like that. But now you're avoiding me, and that makes things really complicated!"  
Quirrel rubbed his face with one hand. "Really, dude? Wow, and I thought I was imagining it all..."  
"Imagining what?"  
"You getting all clingy all of a sudden," Quirrel said. "Look, you don't have to prove to me that you're not scared of me or anything like that."  
"I'm not!" Tiso replied hastily. "That's not the point. I just..." His voice dropped off into a quiet mumble. "I want you to feel at home here."  
Quirrel swallowed, not quite sure if he was close to laughing or crying. That was about the kindest, most naive thing he had heard Tiso say in a while.  
"Hey." Quirrel sat up a bit more and waited for Tiso to make eye contact. "I get you. But you have nothing to worry about. If you want me to feel accepted, you don't have to act any differently, really. Your word is enough."  
Tiso let out a huff. "If there's anything I've learned the past weeks, it's that what I'm saying is usually what screws things over," he said with a pained smile.  
Quirrel just sighed. "You really don't have to worry so much," he said. "I do feel at home. Really."  
Quirrel was sure he sounded convincing but judging from Tiso's expression, he didn't seem satisfied with the answer.  
For a while he didn't say anything, but eventually let out a heavy sigh.  
"When you ran off I knew it was because of me," he whispered. "You declined all my calls and didn't answer my texts. I was really scared you would never talk to me again."  
Quirrel pulled his knees up to his chest as Tiso seemed to curl in on himself a bit as well.  
"And then Cloth called you and that was no issue. And I just was so... I don't know. Angry, I think. That I was a shitty friend and you would never reach out to me for help. That I was such a shitty friend you felt safer running from me. I'm not calling you a pussy here, I totally get it. I mean, I said a lot of crappy stuff. If I were you, I wouldn't want to be around me either."  
Quirrel raised his hands. "Okay, stop. What's happening here? Why the sudden self-deprecation?"  
Tiso tangled his hands in his hoodie's front pocket. "When Tamer was picking you up, I talked to Cloth and..." Tiso paused and Quirrel could see in his expression how hard he was thinking. "She called me rude. She said that I don't think things through enough and that I should try to be more considerate." He looked at Quirrel as if he was waiting for some sort of reaction.  
"I mean, in a way," he said. "But I also know you well enough to know that you usually don't mean things the way you say them."  
Tiso pulled a grimace in response to that. "Yeah, right," he said. "It's fine, Quirrel, you can say that she's right because I know that she is."  
Quirrel shuffled to sit more comfortably. "Kinda... you're blunt sometimes but you don't actually mean to be inconsiderate."  
"I gave you a panic attack," Tiso then said, flatly.  
Quirrel blinked once, twice, not finding any words.  
"Cloth told me... that back when we all were in the park together and I confessed to Tamer... I totally lost my cool back then."  
As Tiso talked Quirrel could feel the same familiar cold wash through his chest as then.  
"I said some horrible shit and sure, it was in the heat of the moment but that doesn't change the fact that it was horrible."  
Quirrel felt his breath getting a little bit shakier and his face growing warmer than usual.  
He would have loved to curl up and hide under his blanket, but Tiso was right there.  
"What I had said wasn't even directed at you back then, but I suppose it still must have struck a nerve. And I get it. I kinda apologized to Tamer and to Hornet, but I never even considered you. I thought it was no issue. I didn't know."  
Quirrel unsuccessfully tried to swallow the lump in his throat.  
"You've heard me say it before, but... I didn't mean it. And I most certainly didn't mean to scare you in any way. I'm sorry, okay?"  
Quirrel swallowed again and finally Tiso looked up at him and was immediately startled by his expression.  
"Oh, no. Shit, Are you okay? Are you crying?"  
Tiso moved about indecisively, seemingly unsure if he should stand up or reach for Quirrel's shoulder, or something else.  
"No," Quirrel said, trying not to sniffle. He could feel his eyes burn and was sure that he was just one blink away from crying.  
"Shit, I'm sorry," Tiso said, rubbing his own arms. "Can I... is it okay if I hug you?"  
Quirrel let out a laugh. "If you hug me now, I will definitely cry."  
"Big deal."  
Tiso wasn't even hugging him yet and Quirrel felt tears roll down his face. He wasn't even really sure as to why. He knew Tiso hadn't meant it. And while his behavior had startled him, he had never truly felt personally attacked by it. And still it was as if some kind of emotional knot had just been untied and when Tiso shuffled closer to wrap his arms around him from the side, Quirrel felt infinitely better. He didn't have it in him to hug him back, but he still leaned against Tiso a little. Tiso responded by squeezing him a bit tighter, making him feel safe, and then letting go.  
Quirrel ran his sleeve over his face.  
"Sorry about that," he said with an embarrassed laugh but Tiso shook his head.  
"It's okay."  
After a significant moment of silence Quirrel said "I'm not scared of you. You're my friend after all."  
Tiso nodded but still looked worried.  
"I didn't mean to avoid you like that," Quirrel continued. "At least not because I'm scared. It's just... I don't know..." he picked at a loose thread from his sweater with two fingers. He tried hard to think of a better word but couldn't come up with any. "It's just weirdly intimate somehow... It's awkward..."  
"Oh..." Tiso said, his expression strangely blank. "I didn't even... huh."  
"Yeah..." Quirrel fiddled with the loose threat more intensely. "I know, it's nothing like that but it still feels weird, you know?"  
Tiso looked at him with the same blank expression, and then burst out laughing.  
Quirrel looked at him, surprised mostly as Tiso tried to get a hold of himself again.  
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh!" he snickered.  
"Really?" Quirrel asked but he couldn't help but smirk as well.  
"It's just... is that why you don't want me to teach you how to swim either? Because you'd have to get into a big tub with another dude?"  
"Oh, come on, that's unfair," Quirrel grinned and Tiso started laughing again.  
"I just don't want to look like an idiot in front of others, which I know I would!" he continued and Tiso laughed only harder.  
"You'd be fine, I bet," he said.  
"Easy for you to say," Quirrel pouted. "Swimming for me is probably what math or chemistry is for you."  
"Not half as bad if I got my friend helping me with it?" Tiso countered and Quirrel huffed.  
Tiso was still snickering and Quirrel couldn't stop smiling either. Maybe it really wouldn't be all that bad.  
"Alright, maybe someday. But not when it's so cold."  
Tiso nodded happily at that.  
And while the thought alone of having Tiso teach him how to swim made him nervous, it did help him forget all the bad feelings from before in a heartbeat.


	45. Store-bought pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso visits his parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning:  
shitty parents
> 
> my chapters used to be like 1.8k words max, this one is just over 3k what happened?????????

"Do you want to come, too?" Quirrel asked. Tiso had grabbed his coat from the coat rack, and sighed loudly in response.  
Anything would be better than celebrating his mom’s birthday a few days late, and Quirrel’s offer of helping Monomon set up her new computer was definitely tempting. But he had missed the main event already, and standing his mother up again would result in more trouble than it would be worth.  
"Believe me, I would love to. But I'm going to visit my own parents for a change."  
Quirrel seemed to immediately pull a bit of a sour face at that.  
"Really?" he asked.  
Tiso shrugged, only partially to shake his coat into place. "Yeah, I kind of missed my mom's birthday when I was writing my math exam," he said. He couldn't help but smile crookedly when he remembered how relieved he had been when the dates had clashed in his schedule. Tiso hated math, and exams even more, but he hated family gatherings the most. It was the lesser of two evils by far. He kept that to himself however.  
"That's too bad," Quirrel returned. "I'm super sure my mom likes you."  
Tiso laughed as he zipped up his coat. "Oh, no doubt. She texts me more than my own mom."  
Quirrel laughed as well. "Yeah, she has her moments... it's funny how she went from 'I'll never be able to handle a smart phone' to sending me texts and pics and videos almost daily."  
"Not gonna lie, that sounds kind of annoying," Tiso said. Monomon was cool but Tiso was sure that at least a bit of radio silence would be nice. He sure as hell appreciated the usual lack of communication between him and his family.  
"It can be a bit bothersome, but she also doesn't expect immediate replies always, so it's whatever," Quirrel replied and opened the door. "You got everything?" he asked and Tiso confirmed with a nod.

They walked to the bus stop together, sloshing through the remaining snow from last night. Even though it had snowed without pause, it was too warm for it to properly settle, leaving unsightly grey puddles on the side of the walkways and gathering in soggy piles over manholes. The frozen mud clung heavily to their boots until they occasionally stomped it off. The walk was anything but fun, but Tiso still felt they reached the bus stop too soon.

"Have any idea how long you will stay at your parents'?" Quirrel asked.  
"Hopefully not too long. It's not exactly my favourite place to hang out at."  
Quirrel shot him a look that Tiso thought to seem worried.  
"Want me to call you with an alibi around six?"  
Tiso perked up. "What do you mean by alibi?"  
Quirrel shrugged. "I dunno, I could say we have trouble with our electricity or whatever. Toilet clogged. Microwave caught fire and the fire department needs your signature or whatever."  
Tiso snickered. "Oh, like that. Nah, I think I can manage. Although I do hope to be out of there again way before six. Just run through the protocol of shallow pleasantries and then leave again."  
Tiso shoved his one hand into his coat's pocket hard enough to have it pull at his shoulders. In the other, he was holding a small, gift-wrapped box of filled chocolates. His mom's favourite, he hoped to have remembered correctly. It wasn't anything too special, but his mother wasn't exactly the age for which you would bust out the big guns anymore. Plus, it was a belated birthday visit with a belated birthday gift.

"In that case you'll probably be back home before me," Quirrel said. "I have no idea how long the setup will take, but I do know my mom, and we tend to get distracted."  
Tiso grinned. "Yeah, I can imagine."  
Both of them turned when they heard the telltale sloshing of tires in the icy mud.  
"Well, my bus is here. Tell Monomon I said hi!" Tiso said.  
"Will do!" Quirrel replied with a smile and Tiso had to fight the reflex to hug him again. Luckily the twitch in his body was probably unnoticed as Quirrel actually went ahead to hug him first, so Tiso pulled his hand from his pocket to at least hug him back briefly.  
"I'll text you when I'm on my way back;" he said, to which Quirrel replied with a quick "Same here!" before Tiso jumped into the bus.

The inside was warm, the heating turned up far higher than necessary, but Tiso didn't bother to open his coat. He wouldn't have to ride that long anyway. He didn't even go to look for an unoccupied seat and just leaned against one of the poles instead, staring at the ground.  
He envied Quirrel for his relationship with his mother. Monomon was kind, funny and always trying to be supportive.  
It was strange, really, that all the qualities he liked in her seemed bothersome and even controlling when he looked at his own parents. Every text from them asking how college was going and if he needed anything seemed like a chore to answer. Just imagining it got him annoyed, enough to make him want to ignore it completely.  
He quickly agreed that his parents were tiring and that he didn't like it. As he stepped off the bus a few stops later, he decided that was good enough to put that thought aside for another day.

As he trudged towards his parents' place by himself, he tried to focus on walking through the snow, and the wet slosh of his boots on each step, to not have his parents occupy his thoughts any longer than necessary. It put him in a bad mood.   
One could still argue that they were family, and that he should at least bother with the bare minimum. He wasn't keen on visiting them, but it wasn't too bad to show his face once in a while anyway. So when he rang the doorbell he did so only partially reluctantly.

"Tiso!! My sweet baby, come here!"  
Before Tiso could even say anything in greeting his mom had grabbed him by both shoulders, pressing a firm smooch to his cheek.  
"Darling turn off the TV, Tiso is here!" she barked into the flat, still holding him firmly.  
"Come in, you must be freezing! It's horrible outside!"  
Tiso was cold, but outside was breathable at least.  
The apartment was heated to the maximum, the air heavy with the smell of smoke, coffee and what he guessed to be soup of some kind.  
It was insanely hot.  
"Happy belated birthday, mom!" he said and kissed her cheek, then handed over the small gift he had brought.  
"Oh, thank you, boo, you even brought me a little something!" she said and then turned towards the living room again. "Rue! The TV!" she screamed while Tiso almost hurriedly took off his coat.  
"Do you need something hot to drink, Tiso? I could make some hot chocolate! Or a cappuccino."  
"The boy doesn't want hot chocolate, that's for children," his dad said as he came out of the living room. Tiso could clearly hear the TV was still running.  
"How are ya, champ? Anything new we should know about?"  
"Heavens, Rue, let the boy sit first."  
Tiso's dad had enough time to roughly tussle Tiso's head before his mother steered him towards the kitchen by his arm.  
"Pour us three some coffee, will you," she said and took the coat as soon as Tiso had peeled himself out of it.  
"Go join your father in the kitchen, baby, I'll take care of your coat."  
"I do know how to hang a jacket, mom," Tiso said but his mother waved him off already, so he turned away with a shrug.

His dad was busy setting the table with a uniform set of cups, saucers and dessert plates, all with the same abstract print. He took a box of sugar from the kitchen counter to place on the table before turning towards the fridge with a chipper hum, getting out a can of milk and a plate with an assortment of pieces of different kinds of pie. Tiso took a random seat.  
"Where's the coffee, honey?" his mom asked when she entered the kitchen as well.  
"Still brewing. I'm not a wizard."  
Tiso's mother pulled out a chair and sat down with a sigh.  
"I hope you don't mind eating store-bought pie, baby, there just was no way to save the fresh one that long," she said with a weirdly tight smile. “If you had had time to come by sooner, there probably would have been some left still.”  
Tiso shrugged and watched as his mom maneuvered one of the pies to his plate. Cranberry. Cranberry wasn't bad.  
"So, how are things? Did you take the bus again?" his dad asked as the coffeemaker was busy making snorkeling noises.  
"Yeah. It's not the best weather to walk the whole way." It wasn't even that far, but with the icy sludge outside he would probably not make it too far without soaked legs.  
"Still not in the mood to get a license, are we?" his mother retaliated, dishing out pies to the other plates yet holding eye contact. “It would be quicker to drive, you could visit more often.”  
Tiso's face scrunched up a little. "Why would I need a license? Public transport works just fine."  
"Darling, get the cream from the fridge," his mother said sharply and then turned back to Tiso.  
"You do know that we would pay for it, right? We're already paying for your flat, but we have enough saved up, so you don't need to worry, babycakes.. Just give us a call when you change your mind."  
Tiso pulled a grimace at the nickname. "I'm not gonna change my mind," Tiso mumbled and from the corner of his eye he saw his father nodding.  
"He's not gonna change his mind, Avae. Also think of all the exams he'd have to take."  
Tiso paused, feeling heat rise to his face. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
"Oh, baby..." his mom said and took the bowl of whipped cream her husband was handing her. "You know how you are about exams..." Her voice was disgustingly gentle, as if she was treading very very carefully around the subject. So annoyingly careful that Tiso felt himself already getting agitated.  
"And there is nothing wrong with that!" his dad added quickly.  
Tiso looked at them indignantly.  
His mother folded her hands on the table.  
"Tiso baby, college is hard. And exams are hard. We know that. We both went to college too when we were your age."  
"I dropped out," his dad said as if he was proud of it.  
"So what? I'm getting through alright enough," Tiso grumbled and glared at them.  
His mother made a point out of being busy pushing the remaining pieces of pie into a new, more aesthetic formation while his dad waited with the hand already on the pot's handle for the coffeemaker to be done.  
"I really am," he said again when no one else decided to talk and his father started pouring the coffee. "I've been in ruts, sure, but it's getting better. Also my roomie is helping me study and that helps, too."  
"Ah, that Kelvin fella," his dad said as he filled Tiso's cup.  
"Quirrel. His name is Quirrel."  
"It's nice you have a friend to help you, babe, but it's not his job," his mother said and took a sophisticated sip from her black brew. "We're always here for you and we’re supportive of your choices. We just wanna make sure you make the right ones. So you could bother letting us hear from you more often."  
"What, like regular calls?" he asked.  
Quirrel had regular calls with his mother. But she was a person one would actually enjoy talking to, Tiso pondered.  
"That sounds good," his dad said, finally taking a seat as well.  
"Don't be silly darling, he doesn't want that," his mom waved him off and poked at her pie. "How about we put a pin in it and eat for now?"  
For a while they all ate in silence, only asking for the other to pass the sugar or cream occasionally. But once his mother was handing out the second piece of pie to everyone, his father spoke up again.  
"We missed you at your mother's birthday," he said, mouth full of pie. "Aunt Melly kept asking questions about you."  
"Really?" Tiso asked. He didn't quite believe that somehow. What she had missed was probably hearing about anything new in her stagnating life.  
"And Tiso, your brothers..." His mom put down her fork in favor of her cup. "You could stand to join them in their monthly meetups."  
Tiso rolled his eyes.  
"I'm serious! You are old enough to drink, and it's not like they're excessive or anything."  
"The only excessive thing about them is their nerd lingo."  
"Tiso! Rue!" his mom said indignantly when his dad laughed at Tiso's comment.  
"Really, mom, I am too young to meet up with a bunch of business dudes who talk about nothing but work and how much they hate their colleagues."  
His mother put her cup back down with a considerate clink.  
"I think it would do you some good to talk to them more," she said and Tiso's father nodded. "They have excellent job's in a company with perspective."  
"So? What do I care?" Tiso knew exactly why he should care. Or rather why his parents thought he should care. And it was the exact reason why he hated family gatherings. Be it birthdays or meeting his older brothers.  
"You still haven't made up your mind where you want to steer your career to after college, baby. Aren't you tired of feeling so lost?"  
Tiso rolled his eyes again.  
"I'm not 'lost' mom, I'm a student. Why should I worry about what exactly I want to do later in life already?"  
His dad mutely stirred his coffee while his mom looked at him, disappointed.  
"All we want is that you have a secure future ahead of you. Your brothers could help you get a job in the same company very easily. And we just want you to know, that as our son you can always come and live with us again, when you drop out of college."  
Tiso stared at her in disbelief.  
"When?" he repeated.  
His mother closed her eyes and spread her fingers with a sigh.  
"That was worded poorly," she said. "If you drop out of college, you can always ask us for help and for guidance."  
"I can't believe you," Tiso huffed. "You expect me to fail?"  
"Tiso, we all know that studying is something that doesn't come easily to you," she said calmly but Tiso was already revving up.  
"So, you're saying I'm stupid."  
"You know very well that that's not what I meant."  
"Really? Because you said that you're prepared for me dropping out of college because studying is hard. No, sorry, because studying is hard for me."  
"That's not what she meant, son," his dad said, but Tiso got up anyway, ready to go get his stuff and leave.  
"Tiso!" his mom shouted after him.  
"I gotta go, I think my mom is calling me!" Tiso yelled back and heard his mother scold his dad who was laughing again.  
Tiso had put on his coat and had his hand on the doorknob when his mother caught his wrist.  
"Tiso, please," she said and Tiso turned around. His father came out of the kitchen as well but stayed back in the doorframe.  
"We want a good life for you, baby. That's all."  
Tiso nodded. He knew they probably meant well. But that didn't change the fact that he felt pressured as soon as they started a conversation.  
"You can leave if you'd like to, but will you let me wrap up the rest of the pie for you at least?"  
Tiso took a second to weigh his spite against the prospect of sharing the pie with Quirrel. After a few moments he nodded.  
His mom sauntered back into the kitchen with a smile.  
Tiso couldn't wait to be home, and it sure as hell was not here.

Once he was outside again, a bag with the wrapped up pie in one hand, he dug his phone from his pocket with the other and texted Quirrel.

"I'm done with my parents and heading home now. How are things going on your end?"

The text was almost instantly marked as read and Quirrel replied just as quickly:

"Wow, that went by really quick huh, good for you  
We're almost done here already too, it was much easier than I thought  
I'll hurry home"

Tiso smiled at the thought of having Quirrel around again soon. The flat he shared with him felt so much more like home than anywhere anywhere else. Especially his parents’ place.  
Tiso grit his teeth. He couldn't get what his parents said out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. How could he be sure that he wasn’t bothering Quirrel all the time, getting his help while they studied? Maybe he was impeding his studies by doing so. Quirrel assured him he didn’t mind on many occasions, but that could easily have just been over politeness.   
Was it even worth it? What if after all that effort, he still failed his maths resit?  
He shook his head clear, and texted back.  
"I got cake"

Quirrel responded with an emoji wall of just eyes.

"I hurry extra fast then"

Tiso laughed at his phone and only sent a thumbs up in response.  
He stood there for a while longer until he realized that he was just smiling at his phone, not doing anything.  
Hastily he backed out of the chat with Quirrel and after some consideration tapped Tamer's icon instead.  
Before he had any time to reconsider he texted:

"Hey, this is probably out of nowhere, but you're the only person I can talk to now. Do you have time sometime soon to meet up? It's nothing weird I hope and you can bring Hornet if you want, I don't care."

His fingers were shaking a little when he added another message.

"I think I'm having a crisis."


	46. Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quirrel helps Tiso get over some self-doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, hello, Among Us is eating my life ashgaisdgha  
I'm super hyperfixated on AmU atm and I was scared that Hyper Focus would suffer from that (the irony)  
But I'm still hard determine to finish this pile of mild angst and fluff before maybe tumbling head first into some gorey space hell, but whatever.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the gays <3

"You got pie, I got casserole!" Quirrel announced as he shut the door behind himself. Tiso, who sat on his bed with a book perked up. "Oh shit, for real?"  
"Yupp, mom made a lot," he said and pulled the rather big plastic box of food from his bag to cram it into the fridge somehow.  
"Oh boy, that's a lot alright," Tiso agreed and got up to help him move stuff around.  
"That's not even all of it. But we don't really have a freezer, so..."  
They had to remove a few things that didn't necessarily had to be cooled and eventually managed to fit the box inside and close the fridge.  
"Guess that settles what we will be eating for the rest of the week."  
Quirrel laughed and took off his jacket. "We could ask Cloth if she wants some. I don't think it's gonna be enough for the whole gang, otherwise we could throw a pre-lectures casserole party."  
"I think you get your casserole party license after 3 years of marriage earliest."  
Quirrel had to laugh at that and Tiso crawled back on his bed, picking up the book he had been reading.  
Quirrel looked at him, a little confused.  
"What are you reading?" he asked and Tiso looked at him with a strange expression.  
"What, I'm not allowed to read?" he asked.  
His tone was biting and immediately ticked Quirrel off.  
"I just don't see you reading books is all," he said defensively and sat on his own bed.  
Tiso put the book down with a groan.  
"Sorry man, I'm just in a shitty mood. I hate visiting my parents."  
Quirrel could fully understand that. Tiso didn't talk much about his family and didn't talk to them that often either and he was sure that he had good reasons to keep communication to a minimum. Tiso's family was a mystery to him and from the few things he had heard Quirrel really didn't mind.  
"It's okay, no worries," he said and Tiso sighed in relief.  
"It's... math. I'm tying to refresh my memory a bit but..." Tiso cut himself off and flipped through the pages aimlessly. "I don't know, I don't even know where I'd start."  
"I can help you if you want, just give me a moment to unwind, okay?"  
"No, it's okay," Tiso said and put the book away. Quirrel expected him to grab his phone next or get up, but instead he kept sitting there, staring at nothing.  
"Did something happen?" Quirrel asked with a careful voice. Something definitely was up but he knew that if he prodded Tiso would refuse to talk about it.  
His roommate gnawed his lip, shrugged, and then sighed.  
"I don't know, my parents are just assholes."  
Quirrel didn't know what to say to that. He didn't even know their names. He didn't know what had happened either.  
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. Tiso's entire face scrunched up.  
"I do, but I don't... I don't want to but I should," he replied and let out a frustrated groan.  
"Do you want to talk about it now?"  
"No," Tiso said decisively.  
"Do you want to talk about it later?"  
Tiso took more time to think about it but then he nodded, if hesitantly so.  
"What do you want to do now then?" Quirrel asked on. "Just chill and do nothing? We could also play a game or check if Cloth is home, hang out with her. If you want to get distracted, I mean."  
Tiso looked at him with an appreciative expression that made Quirrel's chest sting. Whatever it was on his mind, it had to be a big one.

They were about half an hour into a movie when Tiso got fidgety. He shifted about uncomfortably while he kept his eyes on the screen. He seemed distracted before, but now he looked as if he'd rather be doing anything else. Urgently.  
"Are you okay?" Quirrel asked as Tiso sat up differently once more. He got no response.  
"Tiso," he tried again to get his attention and only when he tapped his arm he jolted out of his thoughts.  
"What?"  
Quirrel looked at him concerned. "Are you okay? Are you sure you don't want to talk about stuff already?"  
Tiso turned back towards the screen with a pained expression.  
"I don't know... no..." he mumbled. Quirrel leaned a bit forward to see Tiso's face a little better and the other one sighed. He started a bit when Tiso turned back towards him suddenly.  
"Am I wasting my time?" he said.  
Quirrel looked at him, slightly confused. "Do you want to do something else?" he offered but Tiso shook his head.  
"No, just... in general," he said.  
Quirrel clicked pause on the movie.  
"In general?" he asked further.  
"With college."  
Tiso's voice was very quiet. He was hard focused on picking at his own fingers. Quirrel watched him for a while, unsure what to say.  
"I don't know how I did on my math re-sit. I might have tanked it," he mumbled and then sighed again. "Be honest with me, dude. Am I dumb? Am I too stupid for college?"  
Quirrel blinked at him, confused.  
"Where did that come from?"  
"Can you just answer? Honestly?"  
Tiso locked eyes with him and Quirrel was taken aback by how scared he looked.  
"No," he said. Tiso's expression shifted and Quirrel flailed his hands.  
"No, I meant, you're not too stupid for college! You're..." Quirrel paused and Tiso took the opportunity to speak up himself.  
"I just feel so dumb at times, and you have to help me with so much stuff. Plus, I don't even know what I want to do with myself after I graduate. If I graduate."  
Tiso's voice trailed off into an almost whisper and Quirrel furrowed his brow. He didn't know him like that. He had never seen him so unconfident. Frustrated, yes, but not so self-doubting. It was alien to him, and seeing Tiso look at him, apparently desperately looking for validation, made it hard not to laugh.  
"I'm serious!" he said when Quirrel had to suppress a chuckle.  
"I'm sorry," he said eventually. "I don't mean to laugh, really! It's just so out of nowhere..."  
Tiso focused on his own hands again, fiddling.  
"Look, a lot of people don't have a set plan for what to do after college. Sure, it helps, but it's never a bad idea to just go for education in fields you're interested in. Even if you don't know what kind of job they'd be helpful with. A lot of people go to college and university simply because they want to."  
Tiso looked back at him, a bit more hopeful this time.  
"And you're definitely not dumb. You just have a hard time focusing on things sometimes. But that's okay, because you always eventually get it, if explained right."  
There was a sudden flash of intense appreciation and relief on Tiso's face, just briefly but still it made Quirrel's gut twist.  
"Sorry..." Tiso mumbled, fumbling with his hands again. "I just don't want to be bothersome. I feel like I'm just giving you more work than you already have. I don't want to make college harder for you, but I can't help it..."  
Quirrel scoffed. "Don't be stupid, Tiso," he said, and his roomie rolled his eyes with a mild grin.  
"No, I'm serious. I don't mind helping you out. You're my best friend and I'm glad to be helpful. Seriously."  
Tiso locked eyes with him again in such an intense way that Quirrel had to struggle to not glance away. But before he fully lost his nerve Tiso had wrapped his arms around him, tightly, pulling him close with maybe a little bit too much force.  
"Thank you," he mumbled into Quirrel's sweater. He had his face pressed so hard into Quirrel's shoulder that he was able to feel his warm breath even through the thick fabric. Quirrel's mind as well as heart was racing. He was overwhelmed by the sudden urge to push Tiso away, because he was sure that he would at least start shaking soon, if not cry. But instead of breaking the hug Tiso knotted his arms around him even tighter, forcing a small, strangled noise out of him. After that he immediately let go.  
"Sorry," he said with a weird grin. "Too weirdly intimate?"  
Quirrel only let out a small laugh. "It's okay. But you're gonna snap my back if you squeeze me like that."  
"Sorry," Tiso said again. "I'm just glad to have you around I guess."  
The smile he looked at Quirrel with looked a lot more secure and genuine this time, and while Quirrel before had been resisting the reflex to push him away he now was hugging him before he knew what he was doing.  
"Oh, okay," Tiso laughed and Quirrel all but froze with his arms around him and jolted when Tiso hugged him back.  
"Don't worry, I'm gonna be careful this time," he snickered.  
Quirrel tried to relax a little, still not fully sure how he'd gotten himself into this situation, but easing into it anyway.


	47. Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiso visits Tamer to talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's been a while since I updated in shorter intervals, so why the fuck not (just dont get used to it lol)  
This is a rather compact chapter, but I hope u enjoy reading it anyways; this fic needed some sort of lighthearted break uwu

It was strange to be at Tamer's place for the first time. Whenever they met up, they would usually hang outside or maybe at Hornet's place, and it made sense as soon as Tamer let Tiso in.  
Her flat was not exactly the optimal size to have friends over. With her and Hornet sitting on Tamer's bed, while Tiso sat in the office chair on the small table at the other side of the main room, all seats were pretty much taken.  
Considering decoration, the room was monotone in its theme. Aside from a rather plain calendar all the posters were sports related, baseball mostly. On a small shelf stood three minimalistic trophies, one silver, two gold. The singular small potted plant on the windowsill stood out strangely and would probably fit in better if it would be dying - but it looked healthy enough.  
"So, what's up?" Tamer asked and pulled Tiso's attention from the window to her. "You said you were having a crisis?" Tamer smirked at him playfully but still in a somewhat mean way and Tiso swallowed. Thinking about this by himself was already hard, but talking? It seemed impossible. Especially face to face. Tamer might not be directly involved in it all, but still, having her grin at him like that made him have second thoughts.  
"You have to promise not to tell anyone," Tiso said, baring his teeth. "No one. Not Cloth, not anyone else from the gang, especially not Quirrel."  
"Oh my god..." Tamer grinned even wider and picked up the bottle of soda next to her bed. "Tiso is crushing on his roomie," she sing-songs.  
Tiso felt his face turn hot and he indignantly pulled in a sharp breath.  
Hornet grinned too, leaning in a bit more towards Tiso.  
"For real?" she asked, and Tiso glanced between the two.  
Even though he was the one to have asked for their help in the first place, and had specifically planned on bringing up the topic eventually, the way they both looked at him now made him feel put on the spot against his will.  
Tiso sighed, but it came out more as a choked whimper. "I'm not sure," he croaked.  
Tamer's expression shifted and she pulled the arm that was around Hornet to her front to open the bottle.  
"Yeah, you certainly look like it," she said and unscrewed the lid with a fizz.  
"I... think so? Fuck." Tiso rubbed his face before burying his hands in his hoodie's pocket. "I don't know what to do with this... what that means and shit."  
Tamer and Hornet both let out a thoughtful hum.  
"Usually I'd talk to Quirrel about heavy stuff like this, but you probably get why I'm not doing that now... and Cloth... she hangs out with Quirrel so much, I'm afraid she might not be able to keep her mouth shut." He fumbled with his hands inside the pocket, bouncing one leg nervously. "You're the only ones I can think of being helpful here..."  
Tamer hummed in affirmation as she took a swig.  
"You don't mind drinking from the same bottle, do you?" she asked. Tiso shook his head.  
After drinking Tamer passed the bottle to him and said, "You've already caught the homo anyways, so you don’t need to worry about the gay chemicals."  
Tiso glared at her and Hornet let out a small giggle.  
"Okay, but that's the confusing part!" he said, almost spilling some of the soda while gesturing. "I don't think I'm gay. I mean... girls, am I right?"  
Both Tamer and Hornet laughed at that.  
"Yeah, I get you," Hornet said with a giggle and Tamer too added, "Hell yeah, girls."  
Tiso smiled slightly, a bit more at ease with the casual atmosphere.  
"You're into me though, and I must admit, I'm not exactly a princess. Maybe you've always been a homo in denial."  
Tiso scoffed. "As if," He said. "You're not the only girl I've ever been into. Also, I'm so over you."  
Tamer gasped theatrically and pressed a hand to her chest. "My word! Hornet! We  
gotta make out right the fuck now, that usually gets guys' interest!"  
Hornet punched Tamer in the leg and she yelped, pinning her. Tiso laughed awkwardly, not sure if he was supposed to avert his eyes or join in on the bit by pretending to film.  
Before he could make up his mind Hornet had decidedly kicked Tamer off her but was still laughing. Tiso just booed but with a grin.  
As their snickering died down and it got quiet again, he rubbed his arm nervously.  
"But yeah, that's what has me so confused," he admitted. "I'm... I really think I like Quirrel. But usually I like girls. And Quirrel isn't exactly feminine or anything."  
"You can be into both," Hornet offered and Tamer nodded.  
"Yeah, bisexuals are a thing."  
Tiso looked at them, a bit tilted. "I don't know isn't that..."  
Tamer cocked her head. "What?"  
"I dunno... greedy?"  
Hornet immediately lost it at that, falling into a laughing fit and Tamer snorted out a laugh as well.  
Tiso huffed. "What? And besides, I don't think I'm into guys because I've... looked up stuff online and that did nothing for me!"  
"Ooooooh, gay stuff?" Hornet asked.  
"Butt stuff?"  
"Guys, seriously. It's... I'm..." Tiso stammered, not sure how he should word his thoughts. It wasn't as if he liked Quirrel because he was a guy. He wasn't even the type Tiso would call conventionally attractive. Still he had at some point fallen for him, and Tiso had no idea what the trigger for that had been. He wasn't even sure when the shift had happened, because the sweaty palms whenever Quirrel would lean against him and small jumps his heart made whenever he laughed were still kinda new.  
"It's just... Quirrel. It's just Quirrel," he mumbled.  
Hornet seemed to ponder that for a while. "Maybe you're demi when it comes to guys..."  
Tiso looked at her inquiring. Demi was a term he had never heard before in that context.  
"Let's stick to bi. Hornet, you're confusing the man," Tamer said but Tiso waved at her.  
"Is that a thing? To be demi gay or whatever? What's that?"  
Hornet nodded. "It basically means that you're only ever attracted to someone you share an emotional bond with. So, looking at random guys online would of course not do anything for you."  
Tiso gave that some thought. Maybe she was right. Also, demi gay sounded a bit like demi-god and that thought made him smile in a way that had the girls look at him somewhat confused.  
He decided not to share that thought however and quickly frowned again.  
"But it doesn't matter if I'm bi, or demi, or whatever, that's not helping me. I still don't know what to do. What do I do to not make things weird? Ever since Quirrel's outing things have been a bit awkward between us anyways, but we managed somehow. What do I do now?"  
"Ask him out," Tamer said very matter-of-factly and Tiso all but jolted at the suggestion.  
"Are you insane? No!"  
Tamer shrugged and leaned back. "I don't know what you want me to tell you, dude. Your options are very much limited. You either act on it, or you don't."  
Tiso gnawed on his lower lip, tracing the grooves in the cap of the bottle he was still holding.  
"I don't know... I don't know if I could. I mean..." Tiso sighed. "I don't even know if he'd be even interested in me like that. And I really don't wanna screw over our friendship like that. He's the only real friend I have."  
"Yeah, ouch," Tamer said and Hornet giggled a bit.  
"No, I mean... Of course you're my friends too, but he's my best friend is all, you know? And after the full drama I put him through when he wasn't out to me yet, I just don't think it's even fair to be into him. You know what I mean?"  
"You think you don't deserve him in that way?" Hornet asked and made grabbing hands at the bottle, so Tiso passed it over.  
"I suppose so," he admitted and Hornet aww'd. "Is that weird?"  
"A little," Tamer said. "But not to the point of not getting you. Because I totally get you."  
Tiso gripped at the fabric of his hoodie.  
"What do I do?" he asked no one in particular.  
Tamer and Hornet both sighed.  
"I don't know, I'd say give it time to settle? Until you've made up your mind at least. This is hardly a decision we can make for you," Hornet said.  
Tiso sat there mutely for a while before nodding.  
"Ii don't know how else we're supposed to be helping..." Tamer huffed. "If you're looking for a wingman, I'm out. I suck at stuff like that."  
"I'm not," Tiso said quickly. "I'm sure I can handle this alone. I just don't know how yet."  
"Then take your time," Hornet commented.  
"I guess so. Thanks you two."  
"But I say it's only fair that I get to call you cocksucker now," Tamer grinned and Hornet jabbed her. But Tiso laughed.  
"Guess I can't really stop you from doing that, huh," he grinned and the girls smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hey Tamer, didn't Quirrel have a crush on Tiso?"  
"Yep. Still going strong too, as far as I know."  
"So...?"  
"So what?"  
"You're not gonna tell him?"  
"Hell no. For one, Tiso very clearly told us to shut up about this. And even if not, it's way funnier this way, don't you think?"
> 
> ......also u seeemed to enjoy the little countdown last time, so allow to just  
-5-


	48. Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just one epic victory after another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeyyyyy, how many of you poor souls were convinced I was gone for good and this abandoned forever? :'D  
I took my sweetass time for this chapter, I am SO sorry. I just got jumped with new hyperfixations out of nowhere lately, (first was Among Us, and then even more intensely Transformers, especially Transformers Animated) so Hollow Knight has been pushed to the back of my mind a little bit u.u  
But I am still hard determined to finish this!! òwó9
> 
> I hope I'll be faster with the next chapter uwu;;;;
> 
> I've actually been considering to make a discord server where some of you guys can poke me and ask for updates and maybe beta read so that my current few beta readers dont have to do all the work, but I dont want to waste anyones time;;;;

“Now, do you want any tea, or not?”  
Tiso just let out a groan, eyes fixed on the chemistry book, open in his lap.  
“Tiso?” Quirrel asked again and his roomie let out another, louder grumble.  
“Will you let me read this?” he said, clearly annoyed.  
Quirrel shrugged curtly and whispered a quick apology, proceeding to pour two mugs anyway. Tiso was tapping on the open page with his pen impatiently when Quirrel walked up to him, offering him the mug. Tiso looked at it with a frown, then up at Quirrel.  
“I don’t want any,” he grumbled and Quirrel lowered his hand holding the mug slightly, mirroring Tiso’s expression.  
“Well, I couldn’t get an answer out of you,” he said, offering the steaming beverage again.  
Tiso took it, mumbling something incoherently.

Tiso’s mood had suddenly dropped a few days back, along with his drive to waste the days with movies or videogames. As the day when lectures would start up again drew inevitably closer, Tiso seemed to grow more stressed, digging through his notes and books more regularly, even unprompted.  
Quirrel would have been happy about it, if it would have helped Tiso’s mood in any way. But instead it seemed that he would notice how many times he’d get stuck on material he hardly remembered anything about, adding to his frustration and shitty mood. Whenever Quirrel heard Tiso groan and grumble while flipping through his notes he would perk up from whatever he was doing, asking if he needed any help. Most of those times Tiso responded with just an annoyed murmur, but other times he outright declined.  
“I got this, just shut up and let me focus,” he had snapped at him once. The reaction was completely uncalled for and Quirrel had clearly seen the wincing expression that Tiso had pulled immediately after, soon followed by a much calmer “I can manage.”  
Since then Quirrel had tried not to interrupt him, whenever he would seem frustrated. And most of the time Tiso was able to push past the block by himself, even if it was sometimes preceded by him calling the quits for a few minutes, sulking while occupying himself with his phone.  
Although so far he would always eventually make progress, which did give him a small boost mood-wise, he never reached that level of relaxed leisureliness when he and Quirrel would just sit together, shoulders touching while entertaining themselves with some sort of media. And Quirrel missed it dearly, the bodily contact much more than the movies and games. He’d be damned if he ever admitted any of that out loud, but he did try to push Tiso to take breaks with him, to maybe watch a movie at least, but so far he had always shot him down.  
“I should focus on studying.”  
“I gotta finish this.”  
“I wanted to go get some groceries in a bit.”  
Quirrel sorely remembered how he had tried to keep a fair emotional and physical distance to Tiso not too long ago, to not grow too accustomed to the casual signs of affection that turned up more frequently even after he had come out to him. Now that Tiso put college higher on his list of priorities, as time to prepare ran out slowly but surely, Quirrel found that his worries had been well justified. Not only did he miss the relaxed evenings and quiet moments they had spent in much closer proximity, but Quirrel felt ignored in a way, put aside intentionally. And while it was obvious that Tiso did so to get a head start in college, Quirrel could not help but feel pushed away.  
At the same time he felt bad for Tiso. Again and again he declined Quirrel’s help, so all he could do was watch how he got increasingly more frustrated as days went on. He didn’t dare point it out. He also did not offer his help again, since he knew Tiso would say that he’d be able to manage. But he did ask how things were going, and sometimes that was enough to have Tiso talk about the current block he’d hit and have him reassemble his thoughts, often leading to the solution.  
It was more than a relief to have figured out this subtle way of supporting him, but still Quirrel wished he could do more.

One afternoon, Tiso closed his chemistry book with an especially loud groan that trailed off into what could only be described as a defeated whine.  
Quirrel looked up from his book, almost entertained. That noise was new.  
“Stuck again?” he asked, making sure not to sound mocking.  
Tiso flopped back onto his back, rubbing his face with both hands, letting out a heavy sigh.  
“I’m done,” he mumbled.  
Quirrel set the book aside. “Take a break, dude, that usually helps,” he suggested, but Tiso let out an exhausted laugh.  
“No, I’m done. As in, I’m finished with chemistry.”  
Quirrel raised his brows, unable to hide his surprise. “Finished?”  
“Yeap. Pretty sure I can do most of this shit in my sleep now,” Tiso said and pulled himself up and off the bed.  
Quirrel nodded at him with an impressed expression.  
Working through all the material of the last year by himself was quite the accomplishment. Especially with his difficulty concentrating and how easily he got frustrated with things. Quirrel knew Tiso to be stubborn, but never with something that wasn’t also fun to do. Pulling through so many notes was impressive either way, and all the more for him.  
As Tiso dug through the fridge for a snack, Quirrel smiled at him with a strange sense of pride.  
Tiso sat back down with a cup of yoghurt, eating it more or less in record time. When he was done, he tossed the empty cup into the sink to wash out later. The piece of plastic wobbled through the air but still hit the target dead on with a quiet rattle.  
“Did you fucking see that shit? Today is just one epic victory after another,” Tiso said and for the first time in what felt like weeks he grinned his typical, toothy smile.  
Quirrel snorted.  
“You’re adorable,” he snickered.  
Tiso frowned at him with a weird expression and only then did Quirrel realize what he had just said.  
“I mean that in the meanest way possible, just so we’re clear,” he quickly added and Tiso let out a huff, grabbing his phone.  
Quirrel dug his fingers into his palms. The words had slipped out before he had barely even registered them as a thought. And the way Tiso had looked at him – it was a harmless, inoffensive thing to say, but Quirrel still felt creepy somehow.  
Tiso pocketed his phone, got up again and stretched, tearing Quirrel out of his thoughts.  
“Whatever you say, you weirdo. Anyway, I deserve a break, so I think I’m gonna go out for a run,” he said and Quirrel just nodded at him, swallowing.  
“Wanna watch a movie later? My brain is so clogged up with college shit, I could use some easy entertainment.”  
Quirrel immediately felt infinitely lighter upon hearing that. He had to remind himself to not sound too excited when he replied.  
“Oh, absolutely. You’ve been a cranky ass forever, some fun might actually fix that,” he said.  
Tiso pulled a grimace at him, but it melted into a grin again shortly after. “Go ahead and pick something then,” he said. “I’ll be back in an hour, tops. Want me to grab food while I’m out?”  
“Fast food and movies? Hell yes,” Quirrel said and Tiso gave him a thumbs up after slipping into his boots.

As soon as Tiso had closed the door behind him, Quirrel started shaking. Not in fear, not in excitement exactly, but possibly in anticipation.  
He could have scolded himself for being so stoked about Tiso being in such a great mood again. He could have scolded himself for letting the dumb thought of Tiso being adorably happy with his accomplishments slip out like that. He could have scolded himself for being so excited to watch a movie with him. But instead he allowed himself to revel a bit in his giddiness for a moment before scrolling through their list of movies they still wanted to see together.  
Maybe things would go back to normal now.

When Tiso came back from his run with two pizza boxes he looked fully recharged. While he was in the bathroom to wash up hastily, Quirrel put up the usual setup: A chair in front of Tiso’s bed to place his laptop on.  
When Tiso joined him, Quirrel had put on a random movie from their list; all they needed to do was press play.  
“I grabbed a bottle of soda too, because fuck it,” Tiso said as he climbed onto the bed next to Quirrel after handing him his pizza.  
“I’m not gonna complain,” he grinned at him.  
Tiso kicked his feet under the blanket and then tore the lid off his pizza carton, putting it under the rest of it.  
“So, what are we watching?” he asked with a wide smile.  
“Roadrage 7. 5 was already atrocious, so 7 must be amazing.”  
“Oh God…” Tiso laughed. “You would think they’d not have the money to make that many.”  
“I bet they have like 20 different car companies paying them,” Quirrel said and Tiso shrugged with a smirk.

It really did feel like everything was back to how it used to be. Tiso sat in a stance that had his knee pressed to Quirrel’s and although the contact was small, it warmed Quirrel’s entire body. As they watched the movie they ate in silence, only occasionally huffing at the incredibly shallow humor and ridiculous action scenes.  
The pizza cartons were empty soon enough and put aside and it didn’t take much longer before Tiso would tip against Quirrel’s shoulder, slouching against him.  
Quirrel smiled and leaned into the contact just a little so that they were comfortably supporting each other. Quirrel tuned the movie out almost instantly, the flickering and noise from his laptop more ambient as him sitting next to Tiso like this turned into the main event for him. Although the movie was hectic, the atmosphere was incredibly calm and soothing and Quirrel caught himself wishing to be able to just doze off like this. But Tiso interrupted his thoughts with a question that hit him more or less out of nowhere.  
“Does stuff like that make you uncomfortable?”  
Quirrel sat up a bit straighter and blinked in confusion. “What do you mean?”  
Tiso awkwardly gestured at the screen. “Shit like that. It’s so… pandering. Also I think we don’t even know that chick’s name yet.”  
Quirrel looked at the laptop and tried to actually absorb something from the movie. On screen one of the main male characters was very obviously flirting with a woman on a rather physical level. Quirrel just shrugged. “I don’t really care,” he said truthfully. “It’s not like the plot of these movies is so awesome that I couldn’t handle it getting sidetracked.”  
Tiso snickered. “Okay, true. But I mean… pretty much every movie has some kind of romance running in the background, now that I think about it. And usually it’s the normal kind. Hetero, I mean,” he quickly corrected himself and Quirrel just shrugged it off.  
“What I mean is,” Tiso continued. “Are there movies that have homoromantic subplots as well? Or any form of gay pandering?”  
“Gay porn,” Quirrel just said and Tiso burst out laughing.  
Quirrel couldn’t help but laugh too.  
“I’m serious! Gay porn has plenty of gay pandering! That or it’s a comedy. It’s hard to find something other than that.”  
“I’m not going to watch gay porn with you!” Tiso cackled and Quirrel felt heat rush to his face.  
“I sure hope you won’t!” he said, almost stumbling over his own voice. “Why would you even?”  
“I don’t know man, there’s just so much hetero groping in these, I feel it’s kinda unfair. We gotta find you some movies with gay characters.”  
“Are you really telling me that this is doing anything for you?” Quirrel asked and gestured at the screen, where the woman was giving the main character bedroom eyes from the passenger’s seat of the car, while he was fumbling about her knee.  
Tiso pulled a grimace. “Hell, no, this is awful.”  
Quirrel laughed weakly. “See? I’m good without any of that stuff.”  
Tiso’s shoulders were still shaking with laughter a bit.  
“Still,” he mumbled after a while. “It seems unfair.”  
Quirrel looked at his roomie and smiled fondly.  
Tiso was right, it was unfair. But having him notice made it feel a lot less unfair already. And having him comfortably rest against his shoulder made him care a lot less about it, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has to be the slowest countdown of all time, but it is still going......  
-4-


End file.
